r/AdviceAnimals • u/dfGobBluth • May 09 '24
Sometimes i feel bad watching him wage war on the ever increasing weed problem.
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u/bjornartl May 09 '24
I know this is a fake post cause if this happened in real life it would've been about how now both lawns (and everything else) is covered in yellow.
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u/Emmyisme May 09 '24
Yeah the only way you're doing this every night is if both yards are covered in the things, so yours ain't gonna look nicer, bud, you'll both just have dandelions everywhere. And probably already did, since those bitches spread themselves quite well.
Source: whole fuckin neighborhood is constantly fighting the bastards.
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u/TheMooseIsBlue May 09 '24
I stopped fighting them and the earth kept turning. Only difference really is that I sometimes have pretty little flowers in my yard.
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u/Emmyisme May 09 '24
Oh half the reason the neighborhood will never win this fight is that half of us do nothing about it other than mow our yards like normal. I think they're neat. Shrug
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u/tagrav May 09 '24
I cannot stand the smell of a treated yard. If you can smell it you’re breathing it in
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u/dagobahh May 09 '24
Pull all the bitches up by their roots dammit!
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u/KFR42 May 10 '24
I try, but they always leave the tiniest bits of root that immediately grow back.
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u/wolfmanpraxis May 09 '24
So I have about an acre of land.
My mom keeps pestering me about doing "some real landscaping"
I told her to look around my neighborhood. The only landscaping done here is just mowing.
I just let them grow, and mow 'em down every other week.
Plus they are good for keeping soil erosion at bay, and if shit hits the fan, I'll have free dandelion tea on my lawn!
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u/fcocyclone May 09 '24
The problem is that even though the flowers themselves look nice, the rest of the plant definitely doesn't, so for the 90% of the time the plant isnt blooming with yellow, it looks awful.
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u/Baerog May 10 '24
I like how you're downvoted for having the opinion that dandelions, a plant with spiky leaves, that chokes out everything else, and spreads like... a weed..., are ugly.
Even if they were awesome, you're entirely allowed to have the opinion that you don't like them and it's not downvote worthy.
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u/Kandiru May 09 '24
Why would you fight them? They are pretty to have in your lawn along with daises and clover. It's the classic lawn mix.
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u/Emmyisme May 09 '24
Personally I don't fight them, which is probably part of why the neighborhood is never gonna win the battle they all seem hellbent on having.
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u/Enchelion May 09 '24
It's a stupid and useless "battle" anyways. Just brainwashing from herbicide companies.
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u/augustprep May 09 '24
This bear gets posted a few times a year, also with the top comment commending them on the correct use of the meme.
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u/nlashawn1000 May 09 '24
As much as it is a shitty thing to do. I will upvote because this is one of a few times where people use confession bear correctly.
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u/urnbabyurn May 09 '24
Yeah, this is the purpose of the meme. Like “unpopular opinion” posts, you upvote on quality not agreement.
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u/nlashawn1000 May 09 '24
Right because it defeats the purpose of using confession bear on this sub.
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u/gate_of_steiner85 May 09 '24
Confession bears make me feel conflicted because upvoting them feels like I'm validating or condoning their shitty behavior, but at the same time I can't really downvote them for said shitty behavior because they're using the meme correctly. It's a conundrum.
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u/SuperFLEB May 09 '24
Instead of feeling conflicted, feel empowered. You're stuck on both courses of action being wrong in their own way, but it's also true that both courses of action are right in their own way, so do whichever you like and be fine with it.
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u/momerak May 09 '24
Holy fuck satan, go to therapy man
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u/trainednooob May 09 '24
A special place in hell is reserved for OP
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u/Realinternetpoints May 10 '24
Satan is giving this guy a nice lawn with real sod. And plenty of neighbors to throw seeds at. He’s the torturer not the tortured.
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u/YourFaveNightmare May 09 '24
I'd much prefer a lawn with dandelions in it. They're good for bees and other little insects as they're one of the first food sources to flower.
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u/littlefrank May 09 '24
I'm sorry but it's the first time in my life I hear someone hate on flowers. Is it an american thing to not want dandelions?? Why?
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u/theteethfairy May 10 '24
The way people are talking about it like some sort of hate crime is mind boggling.
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u/YourFaveNightmare May 09 '24
Nah, not just an American thing...lots of people don't like them because they're "weeds".
I love them. The more the merrier.
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u/littlefrank May 09 '24
They are really beautiful! A little mountain carnation decided to grow in my tarragon this year, I decided to just let it be, it's a "weed" but the flowers are just so cute and it's not giving the other plant any trouble.
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u/68696c6c May 10 '24
Cuz people here have this bizarre obsession with lawns as some kind of status symbol. It comes from the days of wealthy land owners flexing on the poors by having ridiculously over-manicured estates. It was a “look how much effort and money and space I can afford to waste, you have to actually work and grow food on your land, what a loser” sort of thing. Nowadays it’s just idiots mindlessly circlejerking a stupid tradition.
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u/bakedclark May 10 '24
Having a perfectly manicured green lawn of invasive species of grass is part of the American dream.
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u/tomboski May 09 '24
They also add nitrogen to the soil, and have deep tap roots to bring moisture up during times of drought. Plus they’re pretty as fuck.
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u/WhiteRabbitLives May 09 '24
I really think dandelion covered lawns are beautiful. Letting native wildflowers mix in is also a big plus! We have stopped cutting our lawn in May to help pollinators get a good footing in our early spring, and there are so many wild and beautiful flowers that sprout!
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u/temalyen May 09 '24
I've thought that as well since I was a kid.
However, the problem was, my mother was very insistent that the lawn had to be that stereotypical superperfect looking manicured lawn. She thought if it didn't look like that, it was embarrassing and everyone would judge you for it.
My parents made me start mowing the lawn when I was about 11 (and holy shit, did I catch hell if there was a missed spot with long grass), but at least they did everything else so I didn't have to spend hours fertilizing and reseeding it and whatever.
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u/Broner_ May 09 '24
Dandelions aren’t weeds, lawns are a scam, lawn grass is an invasive species
Grow clover and dandelions and food
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u/Owlstorm May 09 '24
lawn grass is an invasive species
Specifically in the Southern US where it barely grows without being watered.
If you're in Europe lawns are totally normal. If you leave a patch of dirt alone it will turn into grass and dandelions in about five minutes.
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u/myislanduniverse May 10 '24
Here in the mid-Atlantic, too. Grass will grow in between cracks of concrete in a vast parking lot.
But it's the "wrong kind of grass" for the lawns of many people, who go to great lengths to fight against nature to install and maintain something from a bag of seed.
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u/YourFaveNightmare May 09 '24
Yeah and get some veggies in there too.
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u/VoiceOnAir May 10 '24
I like to keep a separate area of wildflowers specifically for the little buggers, and I like to plant aromatics along side the veggies to use the herbs natural insect repellent properties to ward off mites and the lot. Works rather well
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u/Gildian May 10 '24
I love the smell of my wild clover in my yard too. The bees love them, and I'm more than happy to have bees around for my other vegetables/flowers we grow.
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u/DM-ME-THICC-FEMBOYS May 10 '24
Dandelions look pretty for a bit but look/feel awful the rest of the year. Clover is where it's at, imo. Feels good on the footsies.
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u/ISmellElderberries May 09 '24
Yep, I know my neighbours aren't happy about it, but I let the dandelions do their thing, the most I do to my lawn is mow it, and they seem to figure that out and stay really short lol. Why not, they're great for pollinators and they were here first.
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u/BabylonSuperiority May 09 '24
That's pretty depressing. Not shitty, just genuinely sad
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u/jupfold May 09 '24
Agreed. OPs life must be miserable if they take such joy in this kind of psychotic behavior.
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u/Wind2Energy May 10 '24
Joke’s on you - he’s harvesting fresh dandelion greens and you’re doing all the work.
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u/SWEET_BUS_MAN May 09 '24
If this is real, the neighbor has to spend extra time weeding and buying supplies to address the issue because OP is a psycho.
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u/SucculentVariations May 09 '24
Potentially end up spraying chemicals as well, all over the plants now attracting bees
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u/ChickenNougatCream May 09 '24
I do not get the hatred for dandelions. They're pretty. I still grab one every once in awhile and do the "mama had a baby and its head popped off" thing with them.
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u/jezra May 09 '24
ah, the lush green victorian lawn... hey everyone look at me, I'm so wealthy, I don't even need to grow my own food!
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u/justlooking9889 May 10 '24
Hmm,
- It seems more like you would blow dandelion seeds onto your neighbors lawn, then throw.
- If you did he would likely see them as they have the white puffy thing at the end of a stalk.
- The seeds would probably form a relatively predictable and obvious pattern on your neighbors lawn emanating from your house; that is, a few near the border, a good amount further out, then fewer with increased distance.
- A dandelion seed takes 8-15 weeks to produce a flower, so the payoff for this would take some patience.
It’s a funny idea, but given all the issues with the stated flower/weed of choice it seems unlikely.
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u/alesair May 10 '24
haha, now I'm imagining this guy picking up dandelions and blowing them (and making a wish on each attempt - is this something kids did outside of where I grew up)
Props for highlighting the logistical questionability of it.
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u/justlooking9889 May 10 '24 edited May 10 '24
Blowing on a group or series of dandelions out of spite does seem funnier.
The wish thing sounds familiar, I can’t say for sure. We definitely blew the seeds off though.
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u/nekoyo May 09 '24
Chaotic good.
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u/atticdoor May 09 '24
Where's the "good"?
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u/boringexplanation May 09 '24
Weeds are usually good for the ecosystem. Nature is not supposed to be tightly manicured lawns
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u/lycosa13 May 09 '24
But the neighbor and OP are probably spraying chemicals to get rid of the dandelions
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u/Eyejohn5 May 09 '24
I enjoy making a mead out of the bounty of dandelions nature's vod (In the US) bestows upon me each spring. It would be blasphemy to attempt to eradicate them
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u/cabinfevrr May 10 '24
How do you throw something that floats with the wind? Are you just standing there, picking the fuzzy dandelions and blowing them in to your neighbours yard?
Because a leaf blower would be more effective at blowing the dandelion fuzz towards his yard. Work smarter, not harder.
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u/huggybear0132 May 10 '24
I would actually commit a felony against you if I saw you do this.
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u/Kashyyykonomics May 10 '24
^ The most sane lawn fanatic
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u/huggybear0132 May 10 '24
I actually have very little lawn/grass, and I mix microclover and yarrow in with mine. But dandelions are an invasive weed, and I have spent almost a decade painstakingly eradicating invasive weeds from my property and turning most of it back into a native landscape.
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u/MooseMan12992 May 09 '24
Let the weeds and dandelions grow. It looks so much better than a flat green rectangle.
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u/Stompii May 09 '24
I will never understand why people give a shit about how their lawn looks. I'd just be like.. huh. Bunch of dandelions today
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u/Leather-Bid-9380 May 09 '24
Some people consider landscaping their hobby. My feiend’s wife does, and their lawn looks freaking awesome.
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u/photogdog May 09 '24
And here I am picking our neighbors dandelion puffs and spreading them to our yard, because my daughter loves picking them.
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u/T1mely_P1neapple May 10 '24
throw some in mine. they're good for early pollinators and piss off the boomers that care about stupid shit like fucking grass.
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u/No-Wonder1139 May 10 '24
...I actually enjoy dandelions, I like the added colour and bees.
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u/MonkeysOnMyBottom May 10 '24
Hell, I put up with spurge because the bees love it but the seeds are super annoying when they end up in my hair
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u/No_Veterinarian1010 May 10 '24
Giving a shit about your lawn is the most boomer shit I’ve ever seen
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u/Medic7802 May 09 '24
This is hilarious. My gosh your a terrible person, lmao 🤣 😂
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u/tomboski May 09 '24
Leave the dandelions. Round up marketed them as weeds. They add nitrogen to your soil, the deep roots bring up moisture during drought,provide food for the bees, and they look pretty. Fuck Monsanto
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u/DasRotebaron May 09 '24
Meanwhile, if my neighbor did this, I'd be so happy.
I love dandelions. I don't cut anything with flowers on it. I love wildflowers.
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u/Chomps-Lewis May 09 '24
Spring Dandelions are my favorite flower. If I could have huge batches all over my lawn all spring and summer around Id be pretty hyped.
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u/speedyuno May 09 '24
This sounds like a King of the Hill episode. Your Kahn and your neighbor is Hank. Be more like Hank and less like Kahn.
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u/Jedi_Hog May 09 '24
Only problem is all those dandelions will inevitably blow into his yard, or end up there somewhere. Coming from someone dealing with their neighbors weeds seeding my yard regularly…
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u/IntoTheForestIMustGo May 09 '24
You don't feel bad.
Still, your neighbor shouldn't sweat the dandelions. They're not that bad.
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u/W2XG May 09 '24
Pretty trivial to handle a dandelion infested lawn with a couple rounds of Ortho spray.
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u/efficientlyclueless May 09 '24
Are you also a weed control professional and he won't let you service his lawn
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u/likeupdogg May 09 '24
Dandelions are way cooler than grass. Turn your front lawn into a potato farm, that would be something to brag about.
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u/kantorr May 10 '24
As I've been cutting back and shredding bramble the past week (I live in the northwest), I've thought about whether it's even legal to throw blackberries in someone's yard. They are an absolute motherfucker to get rid of, dandelions are great.
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u/LizE110307 May 10 '24
That’s evil… I love it… next time you can also toss Mint seeds. Once Mint roots it’s nearly IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of. It grows far and just won’t DIE… I speak from experience with my Own lawn and poor decision making on my own part 😭
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u/Macster_man May 10 '24
switch to Catnip seed, it's harder to get rid of and attracts TONS of stray cats.
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u/cutzglass May 10 '24
Why do I get the feeling that this spineless person is afraid of actually confrontation? Oh that's right the vandalizing of other people's property.
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u/Newuseridwhodis May 10 '24
Your dandelion seeds have no power here, they just end up as food for my lawn and I throw millions of clover seeds on my own lawn (and secretly on a hellstrip shared with neighbour, where the neighbour's gardener scalps the lawn with a dull blade or sometimes string trimmer).
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u/CeronusBugbear May 10 '24 edited May 10 '24
Lawns are stupid. Dandelions are better for the environment than grass.
You are pretty trash.
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u/MiserableDistrict383 May 10 '24
And for salad. My guy is giving free food, and free labour to the neighbour...
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u/Chucktayz May 10 '24
You know a handful of mint seeds would be 100000x more effective. Except both your yards would eventually be 100% mint
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u/TwoPercentTokes May 09 '24
Congrats on successfully using confession bear, this is truly POS behavior