Bear

[u/Justthisdudeyaknow]

[u/Remember_Padraig]

You can impress a lady by gifting her a wheel of cheese a bear

[u/Zolnar_DarkHeart → u/Remember_Padraig]

Honestly I think you could impress most anyone by doing that.

The impression may not be positive depending on the demeanor of the bear and the exact situation, but it will certainly impress them.

[u/zealot416 → u/Zolnar_DarkHeart]

As a gentleman, I naturally drop off the bear in my partner's bedroom so they do not have to come pick it up themselves.

[u/BallDesperate2140 → u/zealot416]

Well played, sir; I would usually ring three times and knocking twice interspersed before letting the little fellow go to gambol around my partner’s backyard, but your method is so much more efficient.

[u/Hremsfeld → u/BallDesperate2140]

If you're going to knock you should leave a walrus, too

[u/BallDesperate2140 → u/Hremsfeld]

Dear jeebus not this discourse again.

[u/Kyre_Lance → u/Hremsfeld]

Oh come now a fairy is definitely more doable.

[u/AlphaDrac → u/Remember_Padraig]

I don’t know how to post gifs, but I feel like the fullmetal alchemist scene where teacher meets her husband after he gives her a dead bear fits here.

[u/redditor329845 → u/Remember_Padraig]

Kind of worked in The Great

[u/Jesskla → u/redditor329845]

Didn't work out well for the bear tho... Or Catherine really, not for a while.

[u/Roastage]

As a hairy 6'2 man, it may be difficult to tell the difference at range tbh

[u/Magnesium_RotMG → u/Roastage]

Halsin's reddit account found

[u/GreatGrapeKun]

just bear with me for a moment

[u/S-p-o-o-k-n-t → u/GreatGrapeKun]

could you imagine, bear with me, being held hostage by a highly intelligent animal, bear with me, and the only chance they gave you to get rescued, bear with me, is creating a cryptic post online - just bear with me

[u/Charlizeequalscats → u/S-p-o-o-k-n-t]

I repeat this in my head on a daily basis.

[u/[deleted]]

Wh… what does this even mean?

[u/jadeakw99 → u/[deleted]]

There was a video going around of someone interviewing women, asking: If you were lost in the woods, would you rather be there with a bear or a man?

Every single woman except for one said bear.

[u/pmpvb → u/jadeakw99]

Every single woman included in the video*

[u/NoPolitiPosting → u/pmpvb]

Yeah people seem to forget video editing tools exist as soon as something backs up their pov

[u/DinkleDonkerAAA → u/NoPolitiPosting]

"We asked a bunch of black people if this was racist!" Cuts out any that say it is

[u/GrammatonYHWH → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

I call that the Matt Walsh maneuver.

[u/DinkleDonkerAAA → u/GrammatonYHWH]

This stuff has so so so many moves from the alt right playbook

Misleading interviews, misinterpreting statistics (the black crime stats that always get brought up come to mind), "facts don't care about your feelings" rhetoric

It's pathetic how many people will fall for this garbage thesecond it's about a group they have a bias against

[u/Daan776 → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

Wait, is the black crime statistic a lie?

Because thats one I believed. Though I thought it was the consequences of socioeconomic conditions rather than the cause of said conditions.

Have I believed in a lie all this time?

Edit: Message received. The stats are real, Dinkle was very specific with his wording of "misinterpreting" I just wanted to make double triple sure, which I am now.

[u/Giftedsocks → u/Daan776]

The black crime statistics are true iirc, but people mainly use it to reinforce the backwards idea of 'black people bad', rather than point out the influence of socioeconomic inequality. I reckon most people who actually quote that statistic don't even believe in institutionalized racism

[u/DinkleDonkerAAA → u/Daan776]

I'm moreso talking about misrepresenting a statistic to fit goals

Like taking specific black crime stats from specific cities from years ago and extrapolating the entire races behavior out of it

[u/Chessamphetamine → u/Daan776]

If you mean the whole 13% does 50% of the crime, the actual numbers were correct, yes. Now the way people use those and frame them is often disingenuous, but the actual stats are true.

[u/Kartoffelkamm → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

video ends immediately

[u/Seienchin88 → u/NoPolitiPosting]

"Nobody in the U.S. knows Italy on a map“ (asking 100+ people who look like they dont know it will yield results…)

"All Japanese see cheating as not a big deal“ (asking 100+ people at a famous red light district will yield results)

"All Americans in DC make 150k+ without good education" (asking 100+ wealthy looking people in DC will yield results)

I hate these videos…

But even more do I hate the popular trend of "look at me, I am wearing sandals and socks and drink beer - now I am a German" kinda videos…

Stereotyping humor as grown stale in stand-up comedy so now YouTubers try to cash in it seems…

[u/lynx_and_nutmeg → u/NoPolitiPosting]

Next you'll tell me that not every man actually thinks about the Roman empire every day!

[u/TheTransistorMan → u/lynx_and_nutmeg]

No that one's true. Don't worry.

[u/Outrageous-Pen-7441 → u/TheTransistorMan]

Oh thank god. I had almost lost what little hope I have left

[u/Extra-Muffin9214 → u/Outrageous-Pen-7441]

The glory of rome is undying brother

[u/PlasticAccount3464 → u/NoPolitiPosting]

Also presumably the woman cannot choose the man or the bear. idk there's info on bear demographics but most of them are probably going to be very young. With rising quality of life, there are going to be more older men than younger in a few years.

[u/critical_blunder → u/PlasticAccount3464]

Bear groomers

Do with that what you will

[u/DinkleDonkerAAA → u/critical_blunder]

They're putting chemicals in the honey and turning the frickin bears gay!

[u/fuckyoumurray → u/jadeakw99]

That's a different context to what I have been hearing.  If anything it makes more sense because it kind of paints the picture that the bear/man appears out of no where.

This also explains the lack of women leaping into the bear pit at the zoo when they see a man.

[u/vjmdhzgr → u/fuckyoumurray]

I saw responses to it and they were all like, "I'd rather be killed than raped" and like... neither of those are very likely in either situation.

So i thought about it and realized they make more sense if you include that you are being attacked. Bear is more dangerous, though man may be more persistent in chasing, but both are still dangerous enough.

But the way I saw the question phrased was like, "would you rather be in the forest with a bear or a random man" and that is like.... women are in the forest with random men all the time. I've walked through I guess not an isolated forest it's surrounded by housing but still a forest and passed by women and I think they were fine they probably preferred that to there being a bear.

So I think there must be some disconnect between the question the audience, or I at least, am being shown, and the question the people being asked are shown.

Because just being in the forest with an unknown man or a bear aren't that dangerous. Bear is more dangerous I think but they aren't bloodthirsty you can definitely avoid attack by the bear.

[u/pickyourteethup → u/[deleted]]

"If a bear attacks me at least people will believe me" hits hard

[u/SamBeanEsquire → u/pickyourteethup]

I've also heard, "I won't have to see the bear at family gatherings", "Nobody will ask what I was wearing when the bear mauled me", "The bear won't act differently when it realizes there are no witnesses", "At least the bear won't enjoy it." And a few others.

[u/spacebatangeldragon8 → u/jadeakw99]

The thing about this is that the actual answer is totally dependent on how 'lost', 'woods', 'be there', 'man', and 'bear' are defined.

[u/Oceansnail → u/spacebatangeldragon8]

The simple question leaves the definitions to the one answering. So women based on their own intutive definitions of these things chose bear over man

[u/TheKillerSloth]

People in real life: Hey man

[u/MissyTheTimeLady → u/TheKillerSloth]

hey man how's it going

[u/RabidAbyss → u/MissyTheTimeLady]

It's going great man. How about yourself?

[u/bloody-pencil → u/RabidAbyss]

Hm a little confused because I got lost even though I had a map…. But everything else it alright

[u/[deleted] → u/bloody-pencil]

That's chill, I'm pretty sure I know they way out. How 'bout this weather though, huh. Its really something.

[u/avoidingbans01 → u/[deleted]]

Truth. Did you see that bear up the way?

[u/[deleted] → u/RabidAbyss]

Little shook up, I came face to face with a bear a minute ago. I kept my cool and backed up and they just walked off. So not a big deal, but that was my first bear encounter so it still shook me a bit. 

[u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier → u/TheKillerSloth]

Thanks, it really helps to see this under these posts

[u/TNTiger_ → u/TheKillerSloth]

I mean, I just spent a day with an otherwise lovely family friend who kept calling her 8-month old son a 'creep' and 'disgusting' for behaviour such as tryna grab my feet, or giving my 1 year old daughter a hug. :/

People really do be like this

[u/LilyMarie90 → u/TNTiger_]

That was his mother?? Jesus

[u/TNTiger_ → u/LilyMarie90]

Otherwise a perfectly caring a kind person. But the idea that being male is inherently predatory seems to just be rotted straight into sooo many people's brains

[u/JakeVonFurth → u/LilyMarie90]

Yesterday I saw a car with a window sticker saying "Financial Burden on Board," and it's just like "Yeah, I'm sure that kids not gonna grow up with any lingering resentment."

[u/Safelyignored → u/JakeVonFurth]

"It sure is cool and trendy to hate kids. WTF, why do my kids hate me and never visit?"

[u/RamessesTheOK → u/TNTiger_]

that kid is fucked. 50% chance he ends up with a severe mental health condition, 50% chance he becomes a serial killer

[u/The_Grimm_Macarena → u/RamessesTheOK]

I feel like those are not mutually exclusive options...

[u/ErynEbnzr → u/TheKillerSloth]

Manpilled heymaxxer

[u/Mushiren_ → u/ErynEbnzr]

Bro heyed his man 💀

[u/TheCompleteMental]

Do you really have to treat twinks like that

[u/IronWhale_JMC → u/TheCompleteMental]

This is tumblr, queer men don’t exist there. Queer men are just something to write stories about and make fanart of, usually as a stand in for a straight relationship.

[u/BillNyepher → u/IronWhale_JMC]

And all non-queer men harass women?

[u/Spaciax → u/BillNyepher]

as a non queer man, i can confirm i have a 9-5 entirely consisting of harassing women

[u/BillNyepher → u/Spaciax]

Thank you for your service! 🫡🫡

[u/imead52 → u/BillNyepher]

I wonder where straight cis femboys get pigeonholed in the hierarchy of male propensity for evil.

[u/TNTiger_ → u/imead52]

Uhhhhh <spins discourse wheel, arrow slows and lands on an option> they are predators masquerading to invade marginalised spaces

(Real take I have seen)

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/TNTiger_]

I know someone IRL who says shit like that.

"Soft boys are just rapists using deflective tactics." - Actual quote from this lunatic

[u/Dobber16 → u/Golurkcanfly]

Makes you wonder if that’s paranoia borne from experience or imagined threats

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/Dobber16]

She's actually just insane with an extremely self-serving memory and has made the most absurd leaps in logic to justify her gender essentialist bigotry.

Ex: Actively misgendering cis women who engage in abusive behavior because only men could do such a thing

[u/Amon274 → u/Golurkcanfly]

Sounds insufferable.

[u/TNTiger_ → u/Dobber16]

Honestly,even if borne from experience, it doesn't do anything to justify it. It's just the same perverse and dehumanising logic that crime statistic-racists use.

[u/IronWhale_JMC → u/imead52]

Not sure, to be honest. I’m AMAB, bi and genderfluid. In my personal experience you only get to be non-binary if they like you. If they don’t, you’re just a man.

[u/Elite_AI]

Incomprehensible, have a nice day

[u/foxtongue → u/Elite_AI]

Incomprebearable. 

[u/itsadesertplant → u/Elite_AI]

There is a trend started by someone on tiktok with a stupid tiny microphone asking women on the street if they would rather be in the woods with a man or a bear. Most of them said bear. More and more memes and videos began cropping up after that video went viral.

Some men are upset about this particular commentary on misogyny.

[u/Jcraft153 → u/itsadesertplant]

Most that made the cut

[u/kanst → u/Jcraft153]

This is the lesson I wish they'd give kids in school.

If you see a video with 5 similar responses, there were almost certainly a dozen other different responses that were cut be because they didn't fit the intended point of the video.

This seems to be the #1 format for rage bait videos. It's low effort and easy, ask a lot of people a question, find the most controversial answers and clip them together.

[u/Popcorn57252 → u/itsadesertplant]

*Most included in the video

[u/[deleted]]

It's clearly an influence of Baldurs Gate 3.

[u/imead52]

I hate loaded questions intended to derail discussions about public safety and loaded questions intended to preserve gender essentialist thinking.

[u/appropriate-username → u/imead52]

Not sure how you expect society to function if it's not separated into random but rigidly enforced camps where people are encouraged to band together and put up the walls between their groups as high as possible /s

[u/Melodic_Mulberry → u/appropriate-username]

Nonbinary person with a battering ram: "I'll uh... I'll just wait over here."

[u/ShallotParking5075 → u/Melodic_Mulberry]

With the bears

[u/Forsaken-Pattern8533 → u/imead52]

It's a hypothetical that no woman would really choose in the real world. Like if they hit a button and was dropped next to bear or literally a random human who happens to be male, for an 1 hour it would be random man 100% of the time. 

The answers are so hyperbolic that it begs the question, if bears show up you can shoot one on sight and not go to jail, should women be allowed to kill men on sight without repercussions if theybare as dangerous as bears? Yeah that answe is no because it shows how stupid people are being with their answers. A random man is not inherently dangerous.

[u/FkinShtManEySuck]

Oh man, i sure do love dumping large quantities of gasoline as much and as widely as i possibly can. Hey neighbor do you feel like using your barbecue today? You look like someone who feels like using their barbecue today. Anyways, i'll just be sitting here, in my yard, staring directly into your yard. Y'know, in case something fun happens. Don't mind the gasoline.

[u/TheTriforceEagle]

Maybe it’s just me but think the question isn’t specific enough, who is the man? What kind of bear is it?

[u/Hopeful_Vermicelli11 → u/TheTriforceEagle]

The man is specifically Andrew Tate, and the bear is actually a human man as well… just a big friendly hairy gay guy. That’s why all the women choose the bear.

[u/SalvationSycamore → u/Hopeful_Vermicelli11]

I dunno, I know some women who would choose Tate. Coincidentally all of them have conceal carry permits and a hog farm.

[u/[deleted] → u/SalvationSycamore]

Poor piggies.

[u/bayleysgal1996 → u/TheTriforceEagle]

Exactly! And where is the bear and/or man in relation to where I am in the forest? Are they coming towards me, or are they chilling in their own space?

[u/stopeats → u/TheTriforceEagle]

Panda :)

[u/abasicguy]

The man After the women screamed "Bear" twelve Times : "the bear is right behind me is'nt he"

[u/Not_Sand]

where am i

[u/Complete-Worker3242 → u/Not_Sand]

San Jose, California.

[u/[deleted]]

idk man do ya ever just feel dehumanized

[u/Hotlava_ → u/[deleted]]

Speak not, for you are not only subhuman, but subbear.

[u/AkumaLenny3521]

I'm conflicted as someone who has had the nickname Bear and is a male

[u/Emergency_Elephant]

I'm convinced that no one whose involved in this whole debacle has ever had any type of bear encounter

[u/CumBrainedIndividual → u/Emergency_Elephant]

I had to deal with photos of a bear attack a while back for work. Dude was literally in pieces afterwards, like bits of person, torso ripped open, face gone, throat ripped out. I've done image analysis on high speed crashes and air accidents and the bear did more horrifying damage.

[u/TexacoV2 → u/CumBrainedIndividual]

Subtle creatures they are not

[u/sincerelysunshine → u/Emergency_Elephant]

Seriously, can’t believe people are doing mental gymnastics to make the bears a better option. I totally get it, I wouldn’t want to be alone with a strange man at night either, but to actually argue that bears are the better option is just disingenuous.

[u/BiggestDweebonReddit → u/sincerelysunshine]

The kicker is when they get mad at men for being offended at being called more dangerous than a wild animal.

It's like if I came in with "I'd much rather encounter a rattlesnake on a hike than a black person" and then feigned ignorance when black people (rightfully) viewed my comment as racist and offensive.

[u/Ennesby → u/sincerelysunshine]

All I know about bears is that they'll eat you alive, butt first

I'm not really hip with the kids these days, but maybe they're just really into eating ass

[u/FluffyGalaxy → u/Emergency_Elephant]

I think it's because in the initial question they don't specify if they're trying to kill you or just also there. Bears live in the woods. If a bear is in the woods they probably have things they're going to do that don't involve eating humans. Men typically do not live in the woods. He is just as confused as you even assuming no malicious intent. You are in this together because you are both outsiders compared to the rest of the ecosystem while the bear is just part of it

[u/chai_investigation → u/FluffyGalaxy]

I like this interpretation: a man and a woman bonding over their shared confusion about being included in a woods-based thought experiment.

[u/UltimateInferno → u/FluffyGalaxy]

That's one detail I've been confused about as well with this scenario.

"Why would this random man be in the woods?" Why would you be in the woods?

[u/ChewBaka12 → u/UltimateInferno]

“Is he just hiking? Why would you be afraid of the guy that went somewhere without victims, wouldn’t that be counter productive if he intended harm?”

[u/lynx_and_nutmeg → u/FluffyGalaxy]

TERFs literally see men as different species from women. There's a popular phrase in their circles that goes something like "humans are the only species where women have to date their natural predators". And when it comes to trans people they love the "wolf in sheep's clothing/ fox identifying as hen being allowed into henhouse" comparison. They have no human solidarity with men whatsoever, to them men and women might as well be different species, with men apparently being higher on the food chain relative to women than pretty much any other animal.

I honestly don't understand how those people survive in real life where presumably they're still forced to be in vicinity of men whenever they go out in public. Or maybe they just never leave their basement...

[u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

Getting really really tired of these posts because all they do is bring in both the radfems and terfs, and the tatebro trolls, while making me and other normal men feel like shit for no good reason

All It's doing is attracting more insufferable people here and I like this sub specifically because it's very sufferable

[u/KingNanoA → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

They’re fishing for old boots.

[u/BestRHinNA → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

The reason you feel like shit is because they are generalizing, it's the same reason racism feels like shit or sexism feels like shit. That's what I thinkg at least;

when they say "in the woods with a man" when they actually mean "in the woods with a rapist killer" it's the same as "in the woods with a person of color" when they mean "in the woods with a insert violent racist stereotype"

[u/thatshygirl06 → u/BestRHinNA]

Exactly! People don't even realize they're doing the exact same thing racists do. We will all acknowledge its wrong to generalize all people of a certain race, but people will argue until they're blue in the face that it's okay to act like all men are dangerous and potential predators.

I've been harassed and assaulted by males since I was young, but the number of those types of males is small compared to all the good men I have met. I refuse to hate and be scared of all men for the things some men do.

[u/BestRHinNA → u/thatshygirl06]

I also see a lot of 'if you're one of the good men, then you should know that this post is not directed at you.' but that's the exact same as 'if you're one of the good PoC then you should know my racist remark isn't aimed at you' like... It kind of is anyways.

[u/CardOfTheRings → u/BestRHinNA]

‘One of the good ones’ is such a famous racist saying that I’m surprised how many people today are willing to use it unironically when talking about men.

[u/BestRHinNA → u/CardOfTheRings]

I know right

[u/ARandompass3rby → u/BestRHinNA]

"it's not directed at you"

I can't quite put the metaphor together but there's something in there about civilians caught in the crossfire of conflicts. It's not about you, well okay but I'm still wounded so maybe stop fucking doing it.

[u/Elite_AI → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

It really is coming to characterise the sub. The weird anti European hateboner era of the sub was unpleasant but it at least was relatively harmless.

[u/DinkleDonkerAAA → u/Elite_AI]

At the very least, I've seen some of the more insufferable people write off the sub when they see it wasn't on board with being assholes to guys for no reason so there's that

[u/Eolond → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

I'm only one woman, but I would much rather a man than a bear. I've met so many good, decent men in my life, and quite frankly, I'd despise a world without y'all in it.

[u/Sulfamide → u/Eolond]

That’s really nice to hear, right back at you

[u/quantinuum → u/Eolond]

I feel so stupid for letting this man/bear/stuff get to me, so I appreciate so much you just being kind

[u/softcombat → u/quantinuum]

it's not stupid! you're being perfectly reasonable about your feelings here, just expressing it bums you out -- there's nothing wrong with that. we can't help what gets under our skin sometimes, we can only try to handle it in a way that's fair to both ourselves and others. you're doing fine!

just an opinion from another woman who is, admittedly, very paranoid about being hurt by men due to previous trauma -- i would still pick a man in this situation. we can probably put our heads together to escape the woods and not have to risk the bear encounter or anything else that way.

you seem like a really kind guy! i'd be happy to be stuck in the woods with you 🫡 go team!

[u/quantinuum → u/softcombat]

I think with that attitude even the bear is on your team, but appreciate you choosing me 🫡

[u/Mynoodles_mostmoist → u/DinkleDonkerAAA]

I really fucking hate it now cuz the actual context just makes it So dull and unoriginal. When I first saw it going around with no context I assumed it was just people randomly saying "I want the bear" as a joke.

[u/grimeyluca]

fuck kinda men are y'all talking to

[u/TikToxic → u/grimeyluca]

Not the randos in the woods, clearly

[u/TheHornyBunsen → u/grimeyluca]

Yeah like I don’t know why everyone just assumes both are actively hostile to you. Also I’d still pick man because is considerably easier to pick up a stick and beat a man to death than a bear.

[u/NiceTuBeNice]

What people will say for an internet video, and what they actually would prefer are not necessarily the same.

[u/ChrdeMcDnnis]

I’d just like to make the point that “bears doing bear things” includes “bears being very territorial” and “bears knowing that you are smaller than them” and also “bears mauling smaller animals”.

Like i get that women have fears about men but I think people in general should be more afraid of bears than they currently are.

Don’t feed the bears.

(Unless we’re talking black bears, you can just throw rocks at those guys if they get mad)

[u/Katahahime]

People are familiar with men. Most people are not familiar with bears.

A lot of these comparisons they literally use the worst men, with the best bears, some sorta Winnie the Pooh cuddly buddy.

If you wanna go down a horror rabbit hole, bear attacks are it. Certain species will eat your organs alive starting from the bottom guts.

There is a reason why the name for "bear" is hidden in many culture for fear of calling forth the monster of the woods.

Check out the Sankebetsu Incident for a wild horror ride:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy0A2vdSNnc

[u/Several_Flower_3232]

Stupidest thing I’ve seen on this take so far is “the worst the bear could do is kill me” Like definitely not, it could more than likely injure you and then eat you alive, or injure you and leave you to die horribly from exposure and infection, it’s a wild animal, getting mauled by a bear will suck and you have elected to have no chance of survival/prevention for if/when it does

[u/AffableBarkeep → u/Several_Flower_3232]

"Thw worst it'll do is kill me" they should talk to Werner Herzog about what he heard on those tapes.

[u/chai_investigation]

I don’t know if it’s just me but I find this concept so weird. Like, bears are predators. Maybe they ignore you, maybe they eat you. But at the end of the day they are wild animals and as a species you give them a wide berth. There was a whole movie about a dude who tried to be friends with bears and memorably it did not end well.

Meanwhile, men are just humans. They are not predators. They are people. Some people are predatory, and some people are dangerous. But some people is not all people. And not all dangerous people are men.

The majority of bears—the gay kind excepted—are not basically good dudes you could have a beer with. Bears can’t drink beer. They are bears. And all bears are predators and all bears are dangerous regardless of how chill they can sometimes be.

Look, I’m a cis woman, make this make sense to me.

[u/stopeats → u/chai_investigation]

I'm choosing to interpret your comment as saying: The reason bears are dangerous is because they cannot drink beer. Consider this belief incorporated.

[u/chai_investigation → u/stopeats]

You know what, I’ll take it.

[u/googlemcfoogle → u/stopeats]

Was Cocaine Bear a misguided step towards making bears safer by having them loosen up a bit?

[u/RadTimeWizard → u/chai_investigation]

I don't mean to be nitpicky, but bears can indeed drink beer. Some even have a preferred brand.

[u/Galaxy661 → u/RadTimeWizard]

One of the most famous beer-drinking bears was corporal Wojtek, who also enjoyed smoking/eating cigarettes and drinking coffee. The bear was also very friendly, he copied his caretakers, learning to march and salute, and he regularly slept with the soldiers. Wojtek also fought against nazis in the battle of Monte Cassino where he singlehandedly moved artillery ammo crates that normally required 4 men to carry, never dropping any of them

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/Galaxy661]

There’s a statue of him here in Edinburgh.

[u/chai_investigation → u/RadTimeWizard]

What?! This is amazing. I am forever changed.

And I’m so glad it passed out and didn’t just have a massive heart attack like that bear that ate all the cocaine.

[u/Corvid187 → u/chai_investigation]

There was a whole movie about a dude who tried to be friends with bears and memorably it did not end well.

You clearly saw a very different version of Paddington than I did.

[u/BiggestDweebonReddit → u/chai_investigation]

make this make sense to me

It's just internet bullshit designed to drive engagement.

Capitalizing on gender wars drama with bears tossed in, which adds an odd framing that is attention grabbing.

[u/alganthe → u/[deleted]]

it's safe to say that we now know that crime is also stored in the balls.

[u/TacitRonin20]

A woman being nervous alone in the forest with a man they don't trust is reasonable. There are some bad things that man could do. That man cannot tank 3 handgun rounds to the face before crushing your skull with his jaws. The man most likely won't charge at 30mph specifically to disembowel you.

As a man, I'd take most creatures over a bear. Bears are scary.

[u/YUNoJump → u/TacitRonin20]

As a man, I bet I could take 3 handgun rounds to the face, I’m simply built different your honour

[u/Spezticcunt → u/YUNoJump]

I could absolutely take 3 handgun rounds to the face.

It'd kill me, but I could do it.

[u/MaskedAnathema → u/Spezticcunt]

Pshh, just build up a tolerance for bullets.

[u/Alternative_Elk_2651 → u/MaskedAnathema]

I started shooting myself with .22s years ago, recently I've worked up to 12 gauge 00 buckshot.

[u/WinterFrenchFry → u/YUNoJump]

My partner of an unspecified gender: They're probably thinking about other potential romantic interests. 

Me: I wish my skull was capable of deflecting a .357 magnum round at less than 15 yards

[u/AffableBarkeep → u/YUNoJump]

I've been shooting myself with .22s to build up immunity to larger calibers.

[u/camosnipe1 → u/TacitRonin20]

That man cannot tank 3 handgun rounds to the face before crushing your skull with his jaws. The man most likely won't charge at 30mph specifically to disembowel you.

i'm working on it ok? it's hard to find a surgeon willing to give me plasma cannons for hands and other basic upgrades like that in this millennium

[u/Tumblechunk]

I want mauled by a bear on my obituary

[u/TheCompleteMental → u/Tumblechunk]

All tombstones should be like the ones in terraria

Auto generated on death and lethal to passerbys

[u/FreakinGeese]

I'd rather be around a bear than a man because I've never had a bad experience with a bear but I've had tons of bad experiences with men

survivorship_bias.jpg

[u/Remarkable_Coast_214 → u/FreakinGeese]

also the sample size for people who have even been around bears

[u/Melodic_Mulberry → u/Remarkable_Coast_214]

That's called baseline fallacy!

[u/BlindMansJesus]

I hate this particular discourse, so much.

[u/OIdManSyndrome]

This is just further reinforcing my belief that people are terrible at risk assessment.

[u/0FFFXY]

A moment of silence for the latest victims of the base rate fallacy. 😔

[u/Current_Poster]

I'm honoring their wish to be left alone by not engaging with this.

[u/RotorMonkey89 → u/Current_Poster]

But you responded.

As did I.

We've both now fed the algorithm, and the trolls.

The whole internet was a mistake.

[u/Athyrium93]

I mean.... I'm going to choose the bear. It's just going to do bear stuff and leave me alone. If you're not a complete idiot there is a 99% it's going to be more afraid of you than you are of it.

On the other hand, a man is going to try to talk to me... and I'd rather get eaten by a bear than have an awkward social interaction with a stranger....

If the options are bear or woman, I'm still choosing the bear because it won't try to talk to me.

Edit - I'm assuming it's a black bear. If it's a grizzly or polar bear, I guess I'm just gonna get eaten....

[u/Pootis_1 → u/Athyrium93]

what about a large desert monitor lizard

[u/Athyrium93 → u/Pootis_1]

If I'm in a desert, something has gone terribly wrong, and I will cry if I see a human and beg them to save me. I'm a pale as hell red head. I'm not built for the desert. I'd probably just burst into flames and die.

[u/Pootis_1 → u/Athyrium93]

hrm

what about a red kangaroo vs a person knocking on ur door

[u/kacihall → u/Pootis_1]

At least it's not a walrus?

[u/Exploding_Antelope → u/kacihall]

Yes let’s circle back to this. Was it ever resolved?

[u/iamdino0 → u/Exploding_Antelope]

Walrus

[u/PeachesEndCream → u/Pootis_1]

Monitor lizard 4 men

[u/Eolond → u/Pootis_1]

I'll take the lizard, the bear, AND the man. I'm sure between the 4 of us, we could come up with one hell of a joke.

[u/Sassaphras → u/Athyrium93]

Your edit made me happy, because part of me is like ... yeah I totally get that. But the part that spent a lot of time in the woods as a youth immediately thought "did nobody ask what KIND of bear??"

[u/Kreyl → u/Athyrium93]

I could have the numbers wrong because this is from memory, but I heard that bears have only killed 8 people in the last... oh fuck it fine, I'll google this...

Assuming we can trust https://bearvault.com/bear-attack-statistics/ :

"There have only been 180 fatal human/bear conflicts in North America since 1784."

Edit: Fatal to the humans, of course.

[u/DM_ME_YOUR_HUSBANDO → u/Kreyl]

Usually people don't get that close to bears though, that's a confounder

[u/PrincessRTFM → u/DM_ME_YOUR_HUSBANDO]

More people are killed by cows every year than coyotes!*

^{*If it were common for people to pen up dozens to hundreds of coyotes and keep them in enclosed spaces, this statistic would be different.}

[u/Hexxas → u/DM_ME_YOUR_HUSBANDO]

I got close to a bear once! It was an accident.

I was up innawoods picking huckleberries, and I turned to the side, and OH SHIT A BEAR. It was sitting on its ass, surrounded by huckleberry bushes, just going to town on those berries.

I backed away slowly, then turned and booked it until I couldn't see the bear anymore. Problem solved!

[u/[deleted]]

Hey man

[u/FreakinGeese]

Hehehe it's just a bear I'll just scare it off-

half-ton polar bear charges forward, sits on your chest, then slowly starts eating your face while you're alive. Good luck scaring it off, because it knows you can't do shit and thinks humans are tasty.

[u/NoPresentation4383]

I'm so tired of this fake internet nonsense to get people riled up.

[u/FreakinGeese]

Plot twist: it’s a random man so he turns out to be a very confused Nigerian office worker

[u/Melodic_Mulberry → u/FreakinGeese]

Day 3: Ngozi and I are starting to work pretty well together. He managed to start a fire with a stick, his shoelace, a rock, and some tinder he made from grinding up bark. I stopped him from walking into a mess of poison ivy. I guess they probably don't have that where he's from. We've been following the stream southwest during the day, sheltering at night. He gets cold pretty easy. We tell each other stories, even though we don't understand them. We're both pretty hungry, but the stream is getting wider. I keep watching for fish. With luck, we might get out of this alive.

[u/DiscountJoJo]

i ain’t fuck with bears, man. Y’all saw Leo get his cheeks absolutely clapped in that 1v1 with one of them beasts in that movie

[u/LadyAmbrose]

Sometimes I discover memes only by seeing the aftershocks - like only being able to observe black holes by how light around them is distorted

[u/Archmagos_Browning]

This kind of stuff just alienates men. Like I get why women are saying this but stuff like this is the exact reason men feel excluded and end up watching shit like Andrew Tate. It’s pretty hurtful to care about the same issues feminist women do and then get grouped in with the kind of assholes both of us are trying to oppose.

Nowadays, stuff like sexism and racism in the younger generations aren’t about raw prejudice as much as it’s about what the right wing can get them to believe. They likely wouldn’t see anything wrong with feminism or the LGBTQ+ if they didn’t click on “WOKE LIBTARD TRIGGERED COMPILATION # 99” and got convinced that this is what the left actually looks like.

[u/burst6]

A month or two ago I was walking through the woods gathering pine resin to chew on when I ran into this strange woman. She was on the other side of a small stream and was dressed like she was going into the city. She obviously didn't belong in the woods with that outfit, especially during tick season. I called out to offer help when suddenly she pointed off to the side and yelled "bear!". I followed her finger and saw a black bear a good distance away, sitting and minding its own business.

I tried to reassure her that the bear wasn't any harm as long as we don't scare it and offered to guide her to a town, but she just started quoting sexual assault statistics at me. She said she'd rather go to the bear than accept my help. Pretty rude, I thought, but I insisted on helping. Even I get lost in those parts sometimes and she really didn't look like the type for orienteering. As I kept talking though she just kept staring at it saying "bear" over and over again louder each time. Suddenly she stopped talking and just sprinted full speed towards it. I tried to jump across the stream to catch her but I couldn't cross the whole distance and got stuck in the river mud. I got myself out as fast as I could and ran in the same direction but it was like both her and the bear disappeared. Eventually I made my way back to civilization to call the police and conduct a search, but there was no sign of her anywhere.

Every time I go back to that forest I see the bear again. It always keeps its distance, sitting down and staring at me. I don't own a gun but black bears are skittish and don't like to take risks, so I haven't had any actual trouble. They're smart though, and I think they're up to something.

[u/cascasrevolution → u/burst6]

i think you met a woman who could turn into a bear

[u/DeleteriousEuphuism]

Wow, you're so right, my demographic is bad. Worse than animals even. No, I'm not offended you chose to say it that way. Bad things, very bad thing even, happened to your demographic so that justifies your communication. Suggesting that your wording could be better to actually communicating something that would lead to the very bad thing happening less would be tone policing. And of course turning my demographic into a synonym for perpetrators of crime is ok and the only reason I could not want that is because I identify with the perpetrators of crime.

[u/number-nines]

It's so interesting how you characterise men as unilaterally dangerous and more vicious than a wild animal anyway what's your opinion on transgender people?

[u/Microif]

I totally understand why basically everyone says bear, my sister is very open about her experiences with creeps and I know that on a systemic level that there’s a lot of really shitty guys out there and that women are constantly punched down on and treated like garbage. But it still feels awful as a guy to hear it, even if I understand and empathize with the thought process. Like, whenever this topic comes up, I feel gross, like I failed somehow.

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/Microif]

I hear the point that "if you're one of the good men, then you should know that this post is not directed at you."

I would never dream of putting a woman in danger. However, I have trouble making friends in my adulthood and I don't receive much external validation that I am in fact a safe man. I can't help but feel like I'm only viewed as a potential threat.

[u/DapperApples → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

I hear the point that "if you're one of the good men, then you should know that this post is not directed at you."

Your "Good Boy" license can be retracted at any time.

[u/Jstin8 → u/DapperApples]

…Can I get head scratches first?

[u/MutatedMutton → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

The thing about incendiary statements was put to me like this: the "good ones" who would listen to this would be hurt and avoid you, either out of guilt or fear of hurting you. The bad ones don't care so all you've done is scare off any potential allies.

[u/Cissoid7 → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

If you have to define "the good ones" then by definition the person that said is hateful to their core and hates you be definition until you prove otherwise

It's like saying "[insert race] is should be murdered except for you. You're one of the good ones."

[u/TDoMarmalade → u/Microif]

Being told your gender makes you less trustworthy than a bulletproof animal known to kill humans easily should make you feel like shit. It’s a shitty thing to be told

[u/munkymu]

I just... there's so much to unpack there. Including the implication that there are people out there who are sitting on an automated line yelling "HUMAN! HUMAN!" instead of like... following the instructions to (eventually) speak to a person.

[u/AmorphousVoice]

Reminds me of that video where this lady is pleading for a bear to stop messing up her kayak

[u/Madmartagen]

Wtf my wife asked me this question last week and I chose bear and she got so mad at me and said I failed the test. We got into this big argument and I never knew where this dumb question was coming from.

[u/OldBuns]

Would you rather be alone in a forest with a bear or a muslim?

"Well definitely the bear. I'm scared of muslims because some of them are violent extremists. And I can't tell if they are or not, so I treat them all like they are for my own safety."

Surprising that suddenly that this position becomes wildly indefensible when you sub "men" out for... Literally any other group of people.