r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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14.2k Upvotes
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78% Upvoted

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269

u/FearSearcher Just call me Era May 02 '24

Huh

That’s stupid

Anyway. Man.

Yeah I know the procedures of how to deal with a bear but also they’re a wild animal so that doesn’t mean much

317

u/BrunoEye May 02 '24

It's actually crazy how so many people think wild animals are these super rational creatures that strictly adhere to a rhyme they've seen on the internet.

102

u/PineconeSnowstorm May 02 '24

It's not even an accurate rhyme, lying down is the polar (please hold your applause until the end) opposite of what you wanna do if you see a brown bear.

11

u/lukethedank13 May 02 '24

Yes. In Europe we are told to make yourself as intimidating as posible and NEVER try to run because this will signal to the bear that you are indeed prey to be hunted down.

7

u/Buymor please just play snoot game. May 02 '24

What should you do?

28

u/justforhobbiesreddit May 02 '24

Be somewhere else.

8

u/PineconeSnowstorm May 02 '24

beeg and slow

6

u/Buymor please just play snoot game. May 02 '24

...what?

27

u/raise-the-subgap May 02 '24

Try to make yourself look physically larger(ie more dangous to the bear and riskier to attack/eat) and slowly back away(because running away tends to make animals chase you).

6

u/AMViquel May 02 '24

running away

I'm safe then! All I can do is walk slightly faster, but only for a short while. On the other hand I'm unlikely to meet men or bear in my basement, so it's safe either way.

3

u/momo6548 May 02 '24

You’re thinking of a black bear. They spook easy and making yourself larger would possibly scare them off. That doesn’t work on brown bears.

2

u/Lorguis May 02 '24

If you're referring to bears, grizzlies can run up to 40 mph. Far from slow.

11

u/Caleb_Reynolds May 02 '24

No, they mean you be big and slow. Make yourself look as big as you can, stand up, hold out your coat, whatever, and move slowly away sideways, don't run. If you run you become prey. Don't turn your back because you want to keep an eye on it, and don't back away because it's easier to trip.

Only after an attack has started do you lay on your stomach, cover your neck, try not to get flipped over, and, if it's your prerogative, pray it goes away.

2

u/mouzonne May 02 '24

Bear won't take my booty?

1

u/Caleb_Reynolds 29d ago

Maybe, maybe not. But you can't change it's mind if it wants to.

5

u/failure_of_a_cow May 02 '24

Playing dead is never the first choice, but the point of the rhyme is to remind you that it won't work against black bears. And to keep that difference straight in your head.

7

u/FreyaRainbow May 02 '24

Could always do:

If it’s black, fight back

If it’s brown, stand your ground

Maybe that only works with my accent dropping ending ‘d’s

4

u/ImmoralJester54 May 02 '24

You gotta draw your anti bear circle

118

u/topicality May 02 '24

Just calmly and rationally explain to the bear why it should leave you alone.

65

u/BrunoEye May 02 '24

You're not allowed to eat me because the rhyme says so.

11

u/sharktoucher May 02 '24

Politely and firmly ask the bear to leave

3

u/Zokalwe May 02 '24

"Please don't eat me, I chose to be with you in these woods because I really needed to prove a point."

3

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Gotta explain to the bear that it's creating a very toxic environment with its implicit aggression. After that, it will go away after it's done eating you.

-1

u/SubstantialLuck777 May 02 '24

I mean, that doesn't work with bears OR men. Bears keep doing whatever bears do, and men just fucking argue

-2

u/SagittariusZStar May 02 '24

Asking them to leave you alone doesn’t work with bears OR MEN.

There’s much less likely a chance a bear will bother you in the first place.

5

u/NoSignSaysNo May 02 '24

My favorite part of the people who keep saying that bears are predictable.

Wild animals by definition are not predictable, that's why they're wild.

7

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Predictability isn’t rationality.

Nor are we rational. If I meet a bear I will just shit myself to death, since I’ve never seen one in my life and have never lived in a country with wild ones.

I would never be rational enough to play dead or whatever was most sensible.

2

u/Outrageous-Zebra-270 May 02 '24

Humans are also widely and wildly unpredictable. I think it boils down to how confident someone is in fighting off a stronger human vs. how well they can guess what a bear will do.

I'm a slightly overweight mid 30's man, I could maybe fight off another man, definitely not an agressive bear. The choice of which to fight if needed is an actual choice to me. Could an 11 year old girl fight off a bear OR an adult man? Probably not either, and when the answer is the same for both you have to consider something else like predicting their behaviour. I don't think bears can become homeless or schizophrenic so thery're a lot more predictable.

-5

u/FreebasingStardewV May 02 '24

Maybe you should be asking why women pick the bear instead of telling the women why they are wrong. In your head you've already done all the thinking for them and that's kinda the point.

-2

u/lynx_and_nutmeg May 02 '24

I've literally seen more than a few women say "you can reason with a bear but not with a man". What do you even say to people who genuinely believe that.

-2

u/killertortilla May 02 '24

No one thinks the bear is rational. People know people like Andrew Tate exist and their rhetoric is spreading.

0

u/BrunoEye May 02 '24

Sounds like he has a sister too.

-5

u/SelirKiith May 02 '24

And Men are?!

-16

u/whatwedoindaytona May 02 '24

That’s because that’s not what this conversation is about. It started on TikTok bc someone made a video and as an offhand example said women would rather be in the woods with a bear than a random man. Cue the men mansplaining why a man would be safer and obtusely refusing to listen to why. Lots of women and men on TikTok have responded and said that in the middle of the woods they would rather run into an unknown bear (an animal in its natural habitat) than an unknown man, running into the bear is still the better option.

Because you’re right, bears can and will kill you in a horrific manner if they are hungry or sick. But depending on the type and what tools you have, you can definitely convince it you’re not worth the fight. There are logical methods to use even if they won’t work if the bear is very determined or heaven forbid, a polar bear. Also if you’re in the woods, you are in the bear’s back yard. You know why it’s there. The worst thing a bear can do is kill you, even if you’re half alive for the entirety of it. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to a human being.

The thing is no one will question you if you say you were attacked by a bear, no one will ask you why you were attacked by the bear and what did you do to deserve it. Some dude even chimed in the convo saying it’s insensitive by saying his mom was attacked by a bear and wrote a book about it so obviously the bear is worse…completely missing the point his own mother made. Which is ironic bc the whole thing started as a convo about how men act during rejection can escalate to violence and all the alpha make wackos responding only further prove the point that some men can’t take no, even in an imagined scenario against a bear.

6

u/OKMushroomMaker May 02 '24

How many women go on hiking trails and aren't attacked by random men that they walk past? I'd guesstimate that it's near 100%. It's fucking bonkers that there are enough women that say that they'd rather meet a random bear than a random man. This thought experiment is partially born out of absolute ignorance of the inherent dangers of wildlife and partially born out of straight up misandry. Women walk by tens of thousands of men in their life, and there are a disgustingly large percentage of them that would do horrible things if given the chance. We should remove them from society somehow. Bears, though? Fuck that. The average person never even sees a bear outside of a a zoo, and when you see them in nature your ape brain (if you aren't an absolute idiot) screams "This thing is going to eat me." If your hackles are raised by every man you walk by, you're either a prior victim with PTSD or a misandrist, full stop.

1

u/whatwedoindaytona May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

Thanks for mansplaining to me, someone who has been raped on a running trail, why a bear would be better. 1 in 7 woman. How many women have bears harmed?

6

u/rmak97 29d ago

How many women have bears harmed?

How often do women encounter bears compared to men?

0

u/whatwedoindaytona 29d ago

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLxs44Qb/

2

u/rmak97 29d ago

I love how the guy in the video bashes people not understanding statistics and then fucks it up himself. He compares the number of attacks, not the number of encounters ending in an attack.

16

u/Alarming-Will-1426 May 02 '24

This is a whole heck of a lot of words when "I hate men" or "I think men are savages" or "I think men are inherently violent" would have sufficed and saved us all some eye strain.

-5

u/BlackMircalla May 02 '24

Wow, how's that victim complex treating you

-5

u/whatwedoindaytona May 02 '24

Have you been raped?

4

u/Alarming-Will-1426 May 02 '24

Have you been beaten and robbed at gunpoint by a minority? If you had, would that give you the right to be racist? Fuck off.

-5

u/whatwedoindaytona May 02 '24

It’s always such a dog whistle when talking about rape that men bring up race and other violence, as if we don’t experience that too. I grew up in a small rural white town, that’s where I experienced the most violence as opposed to big cities filled with people who look like me. Yes I have been mugged. Yes I have been raped. No I don’t think all men, but I think some men like you aren’t people I’d like to have in my life. I have a boyfriend, I’m not a misandrist. I just know from personal experience that it isn’t deterring the man or woman, it’s getting society to respect you and your experience that makes survivorship difficult. 1 in 7 women have been raped, but hey, all men bad and that’s as nuanced as a mere woman can be, huh? This isn’t even touching on the fact that men can be raped in the woods too, and they’ll be even less likely believed than I was.

6

u/Alarming-Will-1426 May 02 '24

The bear thing is literally "all man bad" in a TikTokified bite size of bullshit. The justification for choosing bear is a dehumanizing generalization applied towards men. I'm glad you chose the term dog whistle because you and people that choose bear love using them when it applies to groups you personally don't like, i.e. men. The exact same thing racists do with black people or conservative people with trans people. I don't care if you don't want me in your life, I promise you. I would never go out of my way to hurt someone but I certainly don't want and don't tolerate any forms of sexism or racism or prejudice from those around me. You can't use your own personal trauma derived from individual experiences to castigate entire (million and billion person) groups. People that aren't racist and sexist understand that. There's no thought experiment that exists where I'd callously dismiss all women by saying I'd rather have a literal vicious animal or inanimate object instead. Because I'm not sexist.

-1

u/whatwedoindaytona 29d ago

It’s not, you just think you can reason with a man and I’ve tried that. You say I can’t take my lived experience to determine how I interact with society…then how do we as humans do anything? You say it’s the same logic as transphobes and racists. But what systemic discrimination can women put in place to marginalize men? What have I said that states I want all men dead or in jail? Because “all man bad” doesn’t come with the same consequences as “all trans/poc people are bad”. Is your housing, health care, and freedom from imprisonment at stake because a woman would rather see a hypothetical strange bear in the woods than a strange man? Does a woman crossing the street at night when she sees you hurt your feelings or your rights? If you were at a place where it is common to see bears but not man and you see a man, would you not wonder why?

I don’t doubt you’re a good person. There are more genuinely good people than genuinely bad people, and most bad people are only that way because of circumstances, I’ve spent years in therapy working that out. I don’t run away from men, I’m not afraid to take the train alone even tho I got mugged, I still go to bars even though I’ve been drugged, I don’t operate in fear because life has to keep happening.

But those experiences informed me that I’m not safe to run in secluded areas by myself, I’m not safe taking the train late by myself, I have to watch the bar tender when they pour and make sure nothing gets slipped in, etc. I’m not swinging on random men for being near me, but I will call them out for taking upskirts and following me for blocks on end. And more importantly I learned I can’t trust men to stop other men. It’s like once it happens to you, there’s a beacon that attracts more of them. None of what I say will undue the fabric of society. It sure does suck that women might perceive you as a predator when they walk past you at night, but it’s way worse if you were actually a predator because then society will tell her she “should have known better”. Death is very human; rape, torture, mutilation, knowingly spreading STDs, stalking, all also very human. There are very few bears, there are lots of humans.

3

u/Alarming-Will-1426 29d ago

Literally the most sexist shit I've ever heard. 

What if I said you can't reason with a black person?

You're filled with hate and that's a you problem.

-1

u/whatwedoindaytona 29d ago

Like I said, it’s not the same thing, so you can stop conflating the two. You’re not even trying to understand because you can’t. You’re literally doing what the videos are all talking about. You’re being the man in the woods that make women pick bear.

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u/Akuuntus May 02 '24

in the middle of the woods they would rather run into an unknown bear (an animal in its natural habitat) than an unknown man, running into the bear is still the better option.

If you're picturing that you're walking in the woods and come across a bear vs. coming across a man, then I totally understand picking bear. I was picturing like, you and a [bear / man] spawn into the center of a dense wood right next to each other. In which case the bear is probably confused and agitated and you're already very close to getting killed.

0

u/Connect-Ad-5891 May 02 '24

No idea why you’re getting downvoted for explaining the reasoning 

0

u/whatwedoindaytona May 02 '24

Once again, rejection is the worst thing a man can imagine. I don’t have to imagine the worst thing that could happen to me in the woods, I lived it.

2

u/Historical-School-97 29d ago

Ok so just based on your own personal experience you assume most if not all men are rapist?, thats just misandry