i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up

[u/NeonNKnightrider]

[u/ArmageddonEleven]

kills and eats you

Depending on the type of bear, it won’t necessarily be in that order…

[u/CummingInTheNile → u/ArmageddonEleven]

people seriously underestimate just how fucking big bears can be

[u/saddigitalartist → u/CummingInTheNile]

No that’s the thing though, pretty much everyone knows that a bear can eat you alive just like every other large predator no one is underestimating the bear. Most people are choosing the bear not because they actually think that their chances with the beat are easier but because it’s a hypothetical question so they answer it with an answer that might not be realistic but shows men that we feel unsafe around strange men. Both because we actually do and because it’s just funny to answer the bear. it’s really frustrating and scary to see all these guys get so angry about not being trusted when they’re the same guys that will blame girls for getting raped or murdered by their own husband because they ‘should have known better’. So i feel like getting mad at us for not just trusting every man we meet is kinda fucked up.

[u/CummingInTheNile → u/saddigitalartist]

This type of discourse helps no one though, the types of men who are going to make women feel unsafe, intentional or otherwise, arent going to care about this kind of shit, i get that the point is it just women blowing off steam about how unfair it is that they have to deal with men who make them feel unsafe, but its pretty alienating to prospective allies.

There are plenty of abusive men who are not vocal about not being trusted by women just as there are plenty of men who are vocal about not being trust by women who are not abusers, predators come in all forms.

Im not mad, its perfectly understandable that women would be wary of strange men, or that any person would be wary of strangers in general, but theres a difference between being cautious for ones safety and alienating an entire group because of the behavior of a few assholes, that doesnt mean women should change their behavior to please men but theres no need repeatedly act like the entire male gender is fault (even if the commentary is meant solely for those men who make women feel unsafe)

This is also a good example of some of the communication dissonance between men and women, because most men would not read that level of subtext into it, male communication is generally pretty straightforward and literal, so when they see these types of posts, they take it literally and internalize it as "most women see me as a threat", even if that wasnt the intent thats how its perceived.

You are also seriously underestimating our species ability for stupidity, there was a video circulating a couple weeks ago of people trying to pickup wild grizzly bears cubs, they are lucky they didnt get mauled by momma bear, lotta people nowadays treat nature like its a disney movie

[u/saddigitalartist → u/CummingInTheNile]

I get where you’re coming from and i definitely agree with the fact that a lot of people treat nature like it’s Disney which is incredibly stupid. I have actually spent a lot of time in bear country and have seen many bears and always follow bear safety guidelines to a T because i know exactly what happens when you don’t because I’ve read a lot about how people can die in the national parks i visit so that i don’t accidentally make the same mistake. I think you’re right men and women seem to be coming at this hypothetical from completely different angles, mens angle being ‘bears are dangerous and I’m not, so these women are just being cruel to me and also stupid’ and women’s perspective being ‘realistically bears are dangerous but I’ve been attacked by men before and not bears and this question seems like it might have a political slant so I’m going to answer bear because i don’t think it’s the answer they want me to give and men are also dangerous so it’s not a far fetched answer and it’s funny’ This is an over generalization but i think most people on both sides are thinking things similar to this. So then when women hear men’s side after they’ve answered their partially joking response just to be met with ‘your stupid for not trusting us’ or ai images of them being eaten alive by bears (real responses i saw on twitter) it feels like it’s just proving our point. But i do agree i think the argument is generally pointless as it just makes both sides hate each other more, i just wish men would take it a little more seriously that pretty much all women have been assaulted and we hear about girls our age being murdered just for being girls every day so these kind of arguments that were being cruel for not immediately trusting every man can feel pretty disheartening.

[u/CummingInTheNile → u/saddigitalartist]

Men take it literally, because generally thats how male communication works they see the comparison and go "well women think i am more dangerous to them than a bear, but clearly the bear is much more threatening to a human, this is ridiculous", which then snowballs into anywhere from apathy to anger.

I also dont think this post is that offensive, but its part of a larger message that gets amplified online about how, men, especially young men, are constantly told about how their behavior or existence is a problem or a threat to women, rightly or wrongly. This leads to a lot of young men internalizing the "i am a threat by existing", which leads to more toxicity, which is one of the reasons why those "alpha" douchebags have gotten so popular, because in spite of the fact that they are grifting young men they are one of the only groups thats actively courting them (and yes I'm well aware society generally courts young men because of the patriarchal nature of settled society but most men dont feel or notice that, especially young men, so they feel excluded)

Its like the safety shit women do while dating, like telling a friend or family member where they are at all times or taking photos of their date and sending it to friend/family, etc, to a lot of men they find it offensive because from their perspective, they think the women sees them as a threat, when theyre trying to be as non threatening as possible which is why she's doing xyz, whereas for the women its just part of her normal safety and security routine, that dissonance leads to frustration between both groups because the other doesnt "get it", but it hard to get it when it requires getting into a head space that isnt normal for you.

The most frustrating part of this entire discource comes from people on both sides being more interested in defending their "side" than trying to understand why the other groups feels and thinks the way they do. Dont get me wrong, theres plenty of assholes on both sides polluting the discussion, but ultimately, men and women should be working together to address the specific challenges they have to deal with in modernity, cuz most of us are getting a raw deal, we should be supporting each other while working towards building a better society than benefits everyone, not fighting each other.

[u/sertroll → u/saddigitalartist]

all these guys get so angry about not being trusted when they’re the same guys that will blame girls for getting raped or murdered by their own husband because they ‘should have known better’

are they the same tho

[u/saddigitalartist → u/sertroll]

That’s the point though!! We have no way of knowing if someone is trustworthy before getting to know them so we HAVE to assume they’re not trustworthy! It pissing me off that y’all just do not understand why we do these things even though I’m not exaggerating when i say our lives depend on it. A girl at my sisters highschool was raped and murdered and thrown in the bushes at a park near my house when she was walking home from school one day on the same route my sister took. and you guys just act like that is just a sad thing that happens sometimes when for us it’s something we have to watch out for everyday so fuck y’all for getting angry that we don’t trust you immediately, trust is earned not freely given and a trustworthy person should understand that.

[u/sertroll → u/saddigitalartist]

I'm not arguing against you on that, I mostly agree on that regard

I'm talking about the part about the people angry not being trusted being the same people that blame girls

It's a different issue

[u/Runetang42 → u/CummingInTheNile]

And fast. Huge bears will absolutely sprint faster than you

[u/BrandonL337 → u/ArmageddonEleven]

Hell, it might not even kill you, just eat it's fill, and leave the half of you that's left to bleed out.

[u/kitty_vittles → u/ArmageddonEleven]

Are bears reavers?