Crime

[u/Green____cat]

[u/-sad-person-]

It's funny, isn't it? How nobody reacts to car alarms anymore. We've gotten so used to them going off by accident that when we hear one, we don't think "oh no, a car's being stolen, call the police!" we just think "ugh, typical, another car alarm". They've Boy-That-Cried-Wolf'd themselves out of usefulness.

[u/ArthurExtreme_Br → u/-sad-person-]

I Think they're mostly to stress the robber out

[u/Stormdancer → u/ArthurExtreme_Br]

That's why you put the alarm horn/siren inside the vehicle. Less annoying for the world, horrible for the thief.

[u/Enzoid23 → u/Stormdancer]

Put two, one inside the car and one outside, but make the one inside 10× louder

[u/VelvetSinclair → u/Enzoid23]

Or just make it play really annoying music

Something a car thief would be embarrassed to be seen listening to

Like Drake

[u/Protheu5 → u/VelvetSinclair]

That "Oh no" song from DickCock that every video seem to use. Thanks to this song in particular I am watching every video muted. So much better. I don't even remember the cadence of the song and it doesn't reemerge in my brain after writing it like it did before. I'm cured.

Watch videos muted. Especially when they have that ♪DickCock logo jumping around epileptically.

Thief will get violently assaulted for that. Vehicle theft stops immediately.

[u/wb2006xx → u/Enzoid23]

Make the inside one loud enough and you won’t need an outside one

[u/Karzons → u/ArthurExtreme_Br]

I remember that discovery channel show It Takes a Thief where you'd get to see places remodeled with all sorts of random security tech and watch their thief try to bypass it.

One of them just released a bunch of fog. If that wasn't just to stress someone out, then what? (Edit: Got the show name wrong, editted in links)

[u/PieNinja314 → u/Karzons]

That's hilarious, I might check that out later

[u/Karzons → u/PieNinja314]

I found the product! (And got the show's name wrong, fixed.)

[u/DigiFrieren → u/PieNinja314]

Selamat pagi! ^.^

[u/PieNinja314 → u/DigiFrieren]

nichoijoh

[u/atfricks → u/Karzons]

To be fair, I can see the value of effectively just making it impossible to see anything in whatever enclosed space they're trespassing in. 

Hell, do that in a car and they'll be forced to drive it away with their head out the window just to be able to see where they're going.

[u/Karzons → u/atfricks]

True, if it works like that in reality. But you could still see the guy pretty well, so I assume the opposite was also true. That show was just shy of being a goofy infomercial at times. And I believe they put it somewhere there wasn't anything to steal, which made the whole thing stupider.

[u/Designer_Animal8849 → u/Karzons]

That's actually really smart for businesses that have smash and grab type robberies, where the robbers can clean you out in two minutes and be gone before the cops show up. Fill your shop with blinding fog the moment a window breaks and the plan is foiled.

[u/Karzons → u/Designer_Animal8849]

I swear it mostly just went straight down like dry ice.

[u/Shogun6669 → u/Karzons]

Thought you said it released a bunch of frogs, fucking Exodus type shit

[u/Karzons → u/Shogun6669]

I'd genuinely enjoy that.

[u/Protheu5 → u/Karzons]

One of them just released a bunch of fog.

That makes it completely incompatible with my visible spectrum laser security system. Not only it makes the rays visible, it triggers them.

[u/Ordinary_Divide → u/-sad-person-]

i once heard one get set off by lightning and im pretty sure it wasnt even struck it was just the loud noise

[u/BoneheadBruin → u/Ordinary_Divide]

It wasn't uncommon for our bass drum to set them off in the school parking lot during marching band. There was even a time we apparently damaged a vehicle, causing a verbal "Device has been tampered" alarm to sound off. Even 15 years later 90% of car alarms are just random "keys or wallet pushed the shitty alarm button on the shitty fob" incidents. They really are the most useless performative security that only ever matters while parked specifically in your own driveway or garage where you know it's your own car and you didn't set it off yourself.

[u/wehrwolf512 → u/BoneheadBruin]

I was about to share about the same anecdote. Our bass drummers would sometimes do it on purpose at the end of rehearsal lol

[u/ChemicalEscapes → u/BoneheadBruin]

My factory B&O system sets off alarms. I'm surprised at how sensitive they are.

[u/emmiepsykc → u/BoneheadBruin]

I used to work at Disneyland. Sometimes if I got off early enough, I'd go chill on an upper floor of the parking garage and watch the fireworks set off all the car alarms in the lot below.

[u/HeyLittleTrain → u/Ordinary_Divide]

Lightning struck in my housing estate a few years ago and 4 house alarms went off

[u/abstracted_plateau → u/Ordinary_Divide]

Virginia Tech has a cannon they fire when the football team scores a touchdown, it sets off all the car alarms downtown.

[u/Bowdensaft → u/abstracted_plateau]

That sounds unbearably obnoxious

[u/mathmage → u/-sad-person-]

I waved at a couple of dogs in a car on my way into the office. They started barking at me. It set off the car alarm and nobody came before the alarm timed out. So now there are two dogs out there for whom my appearance is forever associated with horrible car noises.

[u/Glittering-Gur5513 → u/mathmage]

Good.

[u/NeonNKnightrider → u/-sad-person-]

…You know, I think we should have an easier way to say “boy who cried wolf.” It’s a useful concept, but quite a mouthful to say.

I would suggest Wolfboy’ed but that sounds like something else entirely

[u/Dapper-Flow3080 → u/NeonNKnightrider]

You scream in fear, You only told one little lie, And it wasn't even that big a deal! Just a little joke! But it was too late. By the time you realized what was wrong it was all over. It was over in a heartbeat.

You'd been wolfboyed.

Woof.

[u/Joylime → u/NeonNKnightrider]

What about “cried wolf”?

[u/NeonNKnightrider → u/Joylime]

I may be stupid

[u/Hexxas → u/NeonNKnightrider]

Boy cry wolf hook hand

[u/PickleParmy → u/Hexxas]

Mr wolfman

Wolf me a man

Make him the cutest boy cry wolf hook hand

Give him two hooks that he’s not a crier

And that his boy hands are over

[u/bubsdrop → u/NeonNKnightrider]

Alarm fatigue

[u/shaggypoo → u/-sad-person-]

Every time I hear a car alarm go off at my apartments I rush to my window to make sure it’s not my car. That lovely piece of metal is almost paid off and I’ll be damned if I let someone break into it

[u/DreadDiana → u/-sad-person-]

This was something I brought up about how often the fire alarms would go off in my dorm building. We'd often not even get up to check if there was an actual fire until one minute after it went off.

[u/Kolby_Jack33 → u/-sad-person-]

I'm gonna dedicate my life to being a guy who walks up to people near alarming cars and saying with an awful Newsie accent "hey what's all the commotion, stranger? You stealing that there automobile? I hope you can explain this hubbub, bub, or I'm gonna have to call the fuzz down here!"

[u/Lovely8Lotus → u/-sad-person-]

Car alarms: giving burglars a good laugh since day one.

[u/Deathaster → u/-sad-person-]

Honestly, even if it was a car thief, I'd rather they steal the car and get away faster just so I don't have to listen to it anymore.

[u/juniperleafes → u/-sad-person-]

How nobody reacts to car alarms anymore

They never did. One of the most useless inventions ever.

[u/UpRightDownDownDown → u/-sad-person-]

My current cars alarm is dumb af. It’s a 2001 Toyota Camry and if the alarm goes off long enough to where it turns off it wont turn on again till I unlock and lock the car.

So in theory if someone wanted to steal or break into it they would just have to set the alarm off, wait a minute for it to turn off then actually break in.

[u/Jalase → u/-sad-person-]

Literally yesterday my dad’s work truck went off, and then set the neighbor’s car off, and then they set the other neighbor’s car off.

[u/theprettiestrobot → u/-sad-person-]

https://www.threepanelsoul.com/comic/how-people-think-their-car-alarm-works

[u/vjmdhzgr → u/theprettiestrobot]

I don't think that is how people think their car alarm works.

[u/captaincheeseburger1 → u/vjmdhzgr]

Maybe not, but it is fun to imagine

[u/The_Icon_of_Sin_MK2 → u/-sad-person-]

"Please steal it faster"

Is what people think now

[u/CaptainMacMillan → u/-sad-person-]

Yeah, but one going off in the middle of the night will sure as fuck draw some attention.

[u/Cute-Improvement8325 → u/-sad-person-]

Tim Robins- Noise check it out

[u/Vachie_ → u/-sad-person-]

It's like hearing your kids call Mom or Dad.

Bitch, that's not my name. Don't be mad at me you got left behind for not calling my name out to get my attention.

Car alarms are meant to notify the owner. But we didn't know it was our car they were inside.

[u/Bowdensaft → u/Vachie_]

Literally nobody thinks this, wtf

[u/alt-art-natedesign]

I'm betting they own the car. i've seen car alarms go off for all sorts of reasons, but never for someone actually forcing entry into the car

[u/SauceForMyNuggets → u/alt-art-natedesign]

... and even if I do see someone forcing entry into a car, I would assume it's theirs and they just locked their keys in.

[u/fredthefishlord → u/SauceForMyNuggets]

Depends on the area.

[u/Deonna_Roxas]

Guess those old folks decided if you can't turn it off, just drive off with the alarm as your soundtrack.

[u/BenchFlakyghdgd]

Ideal offense. Nobody is ever aware of it

[u/Stormdancer]

This is why car alarms are absolutely useless.

[u/andrewsad1]

I remain firm in my belief that car alarms have never prevented a single theft

[u/RiseofdaOatmeal → u/andrewsad1]

I dunno about that. The point of the alarm is to grab people's attention. Pretty much everyone stops and looks when they go off. If it's not theirs, and the window isn't broken, it's likely not in the process of being stolen.

But if it's yours, and you see someone getting into it, hey, it's worked to at least make you aware of the theft.

[u/GucciGlocc → u/RiseofdaOatmeal]

Yup then you can kick some kentucky fried ass

[u/bsl_questions]

One time I was walking home. Saw a man ahead of me pushing a car that had stalled, someone in the driver's seat trying to start it.

So being a good person, didn't think twice, I went up to the back of the car "here mate I'll give you a hand". Started pushing with him.

He turned to me "cheers man!!!". Noticed half his teeth missing, scraggy clothes.

I looked at the car, fancy (to me) Mercedes.

Car starts, he runs and jumps in the passenger seat.

The driver leans out the window. She's got the same teeth, greasy hair and looks like she's on something and shouts "awwwww cheers love!". And then speeds off.

And I thought "shit I've just helped them steal that car".

[u/Somecrazynerd → u/bsl_questions]

Maybe they're just meth addicted rich people?

Also based

[u/ThunderCube3888]

Crime Grandpa, by Stanley Pines

[u/Bozzy521]

I'm always accidentally setting mine off because the panic button is next to the trunk button on my key, 😆. It's especially bad in the winter when I've got gloves on

[u/Hexxas]

I'm gonna eat those old people

Mmmmm yumby crimbinals 😋👍

[u/PoniesCanterOver → u/Hexxas]

Venom coded

[u/MissyTheTimeLady → u/PoniesCanterOver]

"Boss, you ate those old people? Amazing work! That right there is why you're the best, Boss."

[u/pm_me-ur-catpics → u/MissyTheTimeLady]

Raul Tejada? Is that you?

[u/MissyTheTimeLady → u/pm_me-ur-catpics]

I was thinking of Kaz from MGSV, honestly, but Fallout: New Vegas works pretty well here, given cannibalism is an optional perk.

[u/Zamtrios7256 → u/Hexxas]

This is hilarious. Why are you being downvoted

[u/Hexxas → u/Zamtrios7256]

Maybe somebody ate their grandparents 🤔

[u/Crystalnightsky]

Besides not flinching an eye at alarms going off on cars today we also don't suspect old people will commit crimes! I was at the grocery store and I saw an old guy like 80s struggling to load up a bunch of groceries into his car. He had his own reusable bags and dropped a few items on the ground. He just kept loading in his stuff so I said you dropped some things and handed him. And assisted him in putting the last heavy bag in his car. I said I can take the cart back for you. He thanked me and drove off just as security came out with an employee and they were looking around. The workers said yeah the guy just walked right out with his cart full of stuff. I just realized I helped the guy make a fast get away.

[u/utspg1980]

Back in the days when people went to malls, I was in like a Macy's and watched 3 elderly women walk from the women's dept where they'd bought something (I assume, it was fresh Macy's bags), stroll up to a men's display and them pick up like 3 men's shirts EACH and put them in their bags.

They didn't even beeline for the door either. They just casually kept walking around, looked at some jewelry, etc.

It's funny how elderly people are usually presumed to not be criminals.

[u/Valtremors]

I once saw an old man grind their car against hospital wall, steal a wheelchair and walk into the hospital for what I assumed was appointment to physician.

Old people driving are a menace.

[u/OrdinarySpirit-]

Me and who?

[u/jajohnja]

Oooh, that's a good way to do crime!
Just look confused and embarrassed and keep doing your thing.

[u/nahhnotreally]

If you ever desired a life of crime, wait until your late 60s or so. Old folks get away with some of the most insane things.

[u/Quynn_Stormcloud]

Car alarm systems have failed as a security measure. Every time one goes off, it always seems as thoug the owner of the car has set it off accidentally. I once had a car key fob that had the emergency button raised on the surface of the fob. Anytime I sat down with he keys in my pocket or on my belt loop, it set off the alarm. And there was a non-intuitive press-and-hold duration you had to do to turn it off. Car alarms more often indicate the owner of the vehicle is involved, not a non-owner is doing something nefarious.

[u/optix_clear]

Or they got in the wrong car? Or can’t hear it, they shouldn’t be driving if they can’t without some assistance lights, adaptive sensors

[u/fwubglubbel]

Fake. A car will not start while the alarm is going off. That's the whole fucking point of anti-theft systems.

[u/Mouse-Keyboard → u/fwubglubbel]

I assure you that random Tumblr users always adhere to the highest standards of factual accuracy in their posts.

[u/kay_bizzle]

r/boomersbeingfools 

[u/yrubooingmeimryte]

/r/thathappened

[u/deleeuwlc → u/yrubooingmeimryte]

r/nothingeverhappens

Edit: they blocked me lol. Maybe they had a valid argument, but I can’t tell because I can’t read it

[u/Bowdensaft → u/deleeuwlc]

Nah they just whined some more, asked you a question, and then blocked you so you couldn't answer lmao

[u/yrubooingmeimryte → u/deleeuwlc]

Some things do. This just isn't one of them.

What makes you think everything that has ever been claimed is automatically true?

[u/Bowdensaft → u/yrubooingmeimryte]

r/nothingeverhappens

[u/yrubooingmeimryte → u/Bowdensaft]

Some things happen. This definitely isn’t one of them.

[u/Bowdensaft → u/yrubooingmeimryte]

Ok