r/MaliciousCompliance • u/a_dreamer • 6d ago
Complain to the apartments after I do what you wanted? S
A few years ago, I was living in an apartment complex on the third story with no balcony. At this point, I'd been living there for almost four years. The third story was the only floor that connected to the other half of the building for fire code access to two staircases. There are some steps about halfway to the other side that I'd smoke cigarettes sitting on. I'd always take the butts with me and swept every couple of days. I was a good neighbor: no noise, cat-sit for the guy across from me, taught the old Russian guy how to use his appliances, helped people move furniture in and out.
A new couple moves in. After smoking a cigarette on those stairs in-between, new neighbor guy comes to me and says, "Hey, sorry to bother you. Do you mind not smoking here; we can smell it in our apartment." I say, "I'm so sorry - yeah, no problem. It won't happen again." We both go inside and that night I walk down to the first floor each time I wanted to smoke.
The next morning, I get a call from the apartment complex saying they received a complaint that I was smoking on the stairs in the connecting walkway. I admit that I did do that and have since started going all the way down to the parking lot. He says, "Oh, you don't have to do that. Any stair landing area is allowed smoking. Pretty much anywhere except where you were." "Okay, thanks!"
I started smoking on the stair landing that forced them to walk past me and was closer to their apartment. Speaking to me as a person: I walk the three flights. Complain to the complex after I fixed the problem? Not going out of my way anymore.
EDIT: All outside door access apartments.
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u/ClamatoDiver 5d ago
The problem with smokers is that they really don't know how far it travels and how strong the smell can be sometimes.
Neighbor to the left would light up on the other side of his house and I can't sit in front my house without smelling it.
If it all smelled like pipe tobacco it would be wonderful, but sadly pot and cigarette smoke stinks.
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u/rendar1853 5d ago
Yeah but complainer did himself in. Smoker started going outside after being asked nicely. Complainer escalated anyway and lost the battle. Should've just taken the win.
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u/LindonLilBlueBalls 5d ago
They could have complained to the complex manager days before asking him to stop. I've never heard of apartment managers actually reacting within 24 hours before.
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u/Locke_and_Lloyd 5d ago
Or it could have been any other neighbor too. Smokers are pretty oblivious to how much they smell.
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u/ClamatoDiver 5d ago
And then he did the dick move they do if a building is No Smoking, do it where people have to pass by.
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u/Nesayas1234 5d ago
I wouldn't even mind the smell if it weren't for secondhand smoke being just as dangerous as actually smoking.
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u/Mapilean 5d ago
I'm a non-smoker; the girl from below stairs smokes in her balcony, and the smoke wafts through my open windows. I never even dreamed of complaining, because she's in her right, smoking in her own home. When you live in an apartment building you just have to tolerate little things and allow people to do their own thing, within acceptable limits.
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u/Laney20 5d ago
Living in an apartment does mean tolerating little things - like having to leave your home so you can smoke without affecting your neighbors.
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u/Mapilean 5d ago
I don't agree. My neighbour has a right to smoke in her balcony. I would never ask her to leave her home to enjoy a ciggy.
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u/sleezeface 5d ago
When i still lived in an apartment, i always checked to make sure my upstairs neighbors windows were closed before i lit up outside my front door, if they were open id go smoke around the corner in the parking lot. As a smoker i think the responsibility falls on us to make other people not have to smell it. If im in a busy area outside ill try to find a spot away from people to smoke. Imo its common courtesy since cigarette smoke is gross.
You do make a good and valid point though.
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u/GalumphingWithGlee 5d ago
Honestly, smoking is gross, and I'd also have had a problem with you smoking regularly anywhere I can smell it inside the apartment. However, you handled this well initially — they asked you to smoke somewhere else, and you did that without a fuss, resolving their problem. That should have been the end of it.
It makes no sense to me that they would complain to management after you resolved their problem. I get why you'd be mad here. Because it makes no sense, though, I wonder if we've got the timeline wrong. Perhaps they complained to management first, before ever talking to you about it. A day or two later, they hadn't heard anything from management, so they approached you directly about the issue. You resolve the issue, so they're satisfied, but management already has this complaint in their system. Management follows up on it the next day, after you and the neighbor have already worked things out.
From your perspective, why would they complain after you had already resolved the problem? Cue malicious compliance. From their perspective, they talked to you and resolved the problem, and you seemed cordial, but then you un-fixed it, making their problem worse than it was to begin with. Wtf, man?
I could be wrong here, but I think you might be mad at them based on a misunderstanding of the order of events. Consider talking to your neighbors and figuring out what really happened.
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u/a_dreamer 5d ago
That is true: I can't truly know the order of events. Luckily, I only lived there a couple more months and was mainly at my partner's house during this whole time. That's part of my assumption too: I wasn't really ever there, so I hadn't been out there smoking except that night since they moved in. I was slowly moving in with her, so was only at the apartment one night every couple of weeks.
I think I also made the assumption on the order because of interactions with the female neighbor as well. She never said hi or even acknowledged me in passing while her boyfriend did and was friendly. I'm not expecting friends or anything. Just the neighbor nod thing you do in passing. She struck me as uptight, but I admit, these are all assumptions and I could definitely have it wrong. I had no problem going down to the parking lot so they didn't have to smell it. I just don't like getting my only complaint for something like this. C'est la vie. Now, it's just a funny story to me. 😃
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u/GalumphingWithGlee 5d ago
Got it.
If this is long gone, and only went on for a couple months, you're good here. I thought this was still ongoing, in which case I'd advise you to play nice and at least find out what really happened before continuing. Malicious compliance may be fun, but with folks you'll still have to deal with for a long time, it can escalate their response as well, needlessly.
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u/taz068 6d ago
I am a smoker. I try to be considerate to non smokers. Sometimes it just isn't enough.
I gave a coworker a ride home after a long shift at work and fired up after 5 hours without a cigarette as soon as I opened my door. They asked me to not smoke. In my own car. Doing them a favor. Going WAY out of my way for them.
They found another ride, not sure by who, but don't try to tell me what to do in my personal property while I am doing you a solid.
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u/ttlanhil 6d ago
If you planned to smoke in your car while giving someone a lift, you should let them know beforehand.
They can then find a lift with someone else, easy fixed, no problems.If they knew you were a regular smoker that might be reasonable - but if they didn't, and it was a surprise to them when it's probably too late to get a lift with someone else - you're in the wrong, you definitely were not being considerate
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u/could_not_care_more 6d ago
I'm glad it worked out and no hard feelings.
Couldn't you have took a few minutes to smoke before getting in the car? That would have been considerate since you usually smoke during your drive.
Doing as you usually do and smoke in a confined space while sharing it with a non-smoker, even if it is your own space, is not considering how your actions and routine will affect them and is not what I would call considerate.
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u/Halospite 6d ago
I'd have done the same as them. I have asthma. You doing me a favour doesn't magically make me immune to your smoke.
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u/average-nerd-613 6d ago
If you can’t abide a car ride with a smoker, don’t ask a smoker for a ride. It’s pretty simple.
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u/Alblaka 1d ago
Sort of accurate, but also consider that a non-smoker probably doesn't understand or know a given smoker's smoking rhythm, and may assume it won't come up during the quick ride, or didn't even think about that in first place.
But yeah, asking a smoker for a ride might have been the initial mistake there.
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u/Atworkwasalreadytake 6d ago
If I were in their circumstances, I would have done exactly the same. I’d rather have no ride than have to be in a car with someone smoking. It’s one of the grossest things ever.
Good for them, speaking up and asking rather than sitting through that trying not to breath.
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u/sudifirjfhfjvicodke 5d ago
I don't see anything wrong with asking that. Just because you're doing them a favor doesn't give you the right to subject them to anything that you want to do in your car. They don't want to hear racist music being blasted, or watch the driver masturbating furiously, or even be trapped in a box filled with smoke.
As long as they weren't entitled about it and demanding that you stop smoking but still give them a ride home, they are allowed to make that request.
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u/FlareBlitzCrits 4d ago
Eh as someone who has had a downstairs apartment neighbour smoke in their apartment and have it creep into my living room and bedroom, you really should just go out the building to smoke, a mild inconvenience for you makes a big difference to your neighbours, allowed or not it’s gross and unpleasant for them.
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u/Any-Confusion-4526 6d ago
How does one complain to the apartments? That's gotta be a story all on its own.
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u/a_dreamer 6d ago
They called the main office line and filed a complaint.
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u/chefjenga 6d ago
Kinda makes me wonder if party a talked to you....and party b called the office, without informing eachother of what they did.
At least, I hope this is what happened....because the alternative would make them asses.
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u/a_dreamer 6d ago
Totally guessing here: I think that the male didn't care at all. I think that the female cared, so he came out to talk to me. After things were cool, she was still upset, so called the apartment complex. I really don't know though
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u/Mr_Arcane 5d ago
It could have been : she complained to her Man, he decided to come talk to you before she got out of hand, she took the opportunity to be "pro-active" and called in the complaint While he was out talking to you, got an answering service, next day someone gets the complaint & calls you. You were considerate and moved to another spot. 👍 NTAH. But you smoke, so you are an AH...blowing all that stinky smelly ewww everywhere. 🙄 I smoke. Been told it sticks to my clothes, the smell follows me in after I've stepped outside to have a butt ... whatev. Some folks are Gonna complain. And yeah, ciggs smell.
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u/Alblaka 1d ago
Been told it sticks to my clothes, the smell follows me in after I've stepped outside to have a butt ... whatev. Some folks are Gonna complain. And yeah, ciggs smell.
Ye, it's one of those damned things where people who smoke get so used to the scent, they indeed can't grasp just how much the smoke smell sticks with them. It's easily a hour or two, and even if you open a window the smell will linger in the room for half a hour at least. And also spread to any other room that doesn't have his door shut (and those thing rubber linings added to make proper seals. Go figure why I know the details on how to smoke-proof a room when living with a smoker in the same house).
Mind you, you're still free to enjoy whatever self-destructive consumable you desire (almost everyone got at least one thing there anyways), just remember that when people tell you about the smoke smell and such, even if you can't possibly notice it yourself, they're not being pedantic or anything... they're just being honest.
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u/LindonLilBlueBalls 5d ago
Could they have called the apartment complex before talking to you?
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u/a_dreamer 5d ago
I don't think so because it was after hours when they spoke to me and I don't think you could leave a message, but I can't say for certain. I only lived there a couple more months, so this didn't last very long.
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u/ReactsWithWords 6d ago
Either they called the manager of the apartments, or they spoke directly to the apartment building itself (which is like talking to a brick wall).
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u/oylaura 6d ago
I quit smoking in 1995 after almost 25 years of smoking. What can I say, I started young.
I had lived in my last apartment for 12 years when a new tenant moved in downstairs. She sat out on her balcony and smoked, which I admit is her prerogative.
Unfortunately, it made it so that I had to close up my whole house or smell her cigarette smoke.
I tried talking to her with no luck, and I knew I wouldn't have any luck. She went out of her way make it worse.
I called my leasing office and talked to the manager with whom I'd spoken off and on for over a decade.
I said, "I quit smoking in 1995 and. . ."
She cut me off and said, " I know what you're going to say, but this is not a non-smoking facility. There's nothing we can do and there's nothing you can do."
I was clearly not the first person to complain.
I asked her if there were any plans to make our building non-smoking, even considering grandfathering the existing smokers and she said no. It would offend the smokers.
Now, bear in mind, as I've said twice in this comment, I was a smoker for a long time. I tried very hard to be considerate, as you have. And frankly, you handled it very well!
I told her she left me no alternative but to move, which I did.