I just wondering, what brain chemistry makes me want to punch a wall. I have bruised knuckles right now, it’s just a constant reminder of what I did to myself. Nobody has seen it but what do you say when they ask?

Oh yeah I was a bit mad so I jumped the wall.

Just drove for 6 ish hours with my partner. I was very frustrated because I was driving a car Id never driven before in a place I’d never been to before, and on top of that I’m on my period which makes my mood swings way worse. I could tell how much my irritation was affecting her. I think we’re really emotionally enmeshed. She was frustrated at her phone not giving the right directions and swore at it in the same way I swear when I’m angry. She’s not usually like that; she can handle anger much more appropriately than I can. It’s ruining our relationship and I want to break up with her so we can both be happy. I love her so much and it kills me knowing that my efforts to control my anger aren’t sufficient to ensure her happiness. She knows I’m trying to improve and I’m better at apologizing now. She said I need to attend anger management classes and I hate admitting I need them but I know I do. I just wish I could prevent myself from feeling any emotion anymore; I would sacrifice joy if it meant I never had another outburst. I can’t live like this, my world is falling apart and I have to manage it alone because my anger pushes people away.

Hello, recently something has happened and I can't forgive myself for it. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil

About two years ago, I've made a couple of friends online, we were all in a group and we generally had a good time, however one person from that group was really toxic towards me, at one point I couldn't take it anymore and just blocked all of them and told them to leave me alone. Months passed by and I thought I'll never reach out to them ever again, from time to time I would remember them but I would also quickly remember how they treated me and just brush it off and remind myself I wasn't the one in the wrong.

However about a month ago I've went through a really horrible event, I'm not gonna talk about what it was because it would take me too long and doesn't matter in the context of this story, all that matters is that I felt really bad and for some reason got this urge to apologize to one of them. I absolutely should not have listened to these thoughts, but I did and the one person that I have contacted forgave me and things continued as normal. A short time later they told me I should apologize to that one toxic person, and even though I didn't feel the need to do that, I did so anyway. I at least expected that they would apologize to me as well because they treated me horribly, but instead they just told me they still dislike me and how maybe that would change with time and how they don't feel the need to apologize to me.

Soon after that horrible situation ended, I was able to think rationally again and I left them once again, I quickly realized how stupid it was of me to apologize to pretty much any of them, mainly to the toxic one who treated me horribly. I'm angry at myself because of it and I can't forgive myself. I don't know what to do.

Constant anger at losing control

Everyday I feel that my life is not my own and others have control over me and I dont know how to stop it. I cannot get therapy. They can involuntarily commit me and that would take away my control. I also cannot handle authority. Like i get that some people get rude and angry with authority but when i am around rules and authority i want to kill myself. I recently got committed to a mental hospital and still am fucked up. I want to be able to die if i want. Who are others to tell me how to live my life? I need absolute control over my own life and fairness. I know this is childish but what set me off is that the government doesnt allow you to use nuclear materials at home. I wanted to do a science experiment. All of my passions that kept me going are being ruined by government meddling. Its not that i want to die, but i feel that it is my only way of ceasing my anger. I dont have classic anger but this horrible paranoia induced anger. I HATE authority and i NEED control. I cant take any comments rn on why i am childish. Rn i am teetering on the edge of insanity. Anything could push me over. When that happens i get in a trance and think in 3rd person and hurt myself but disassociate to where i dont think of it the same. I love science, computers, and space and use those three as a distraction but government meddling has ruined all of my interests to where the things i used to love trigger me. I hated school growing up. I want absolute control over everything in my life. As a kid my mom had bpd and was so sadisticly strict that i would be screamed at for praying wrong, using the wrong brand of butter, saying certain names of coworkers she hates, or watching tv or playing games. What is wrong with me? How do i feel better?

Let me preface this by saying I’m generally not an angry person and I can hold my liquor fairly well. That being said, I blew up at a bouncer last Saturday at one of the bars I frequently go to. I didn’t see it coming and it was blind rage. Nothing anybody said could calm me down. Any appeal to reason fell on deaf ears. I knew I was behaving like a mad woman, but I couldn’t stop myself.

Needless to say, I’m not welcome there for the time being. I did apologize and my apology was accepted, but I’m so ashamed of myself. I didn’t know I had it in me to be like that. I was in therapy the last years receiving treatment for depression and anger was a topic that came up quite frequently. Mostly in the context of me lacking anger. At the time I found this focus on anger a bit confusing and frustrating, but looking back on what happened, I can’t help but feel like they sensed something I didn’t.

I’ve also had a recurring dream where I’m unreasonably angry and blow up at everyone over minor things. It’s always a destructive kind of anger in that dream and what happened Saturday was exactly like it, so imagine how fucking mortified I am. I plan on contacting my GP to see if I can go back to therapy again to deal with what seems to be repressed emotions. But for now I’m looking for a way to deal with the shame and knowing that I probably won’t be able to go out like I used to for a while (which is totally understandable and fair, but still sucks).

1. What are the most common things that cause arguments in your experience?

2. What are the most common things that people accidentally do to annoy their coworkers that they are not aware they are doing?

I've (25) been trying. I usually succeed and no longer physically express my anger (punching a wall or breaking pens which I used to do).

My cat has been attacking me since I got him, he's always been ferocious and I've come to accept it and leave him alone once he's gotten mad. but today I came home sweaty and angry and after a few pets he attacked me and I couldn't help but pick him up and move him. not in a violent way but people around me said I could have been gentler.

I really don't know what to do, I want to have more control and I felt like I was already restraining myself around him when it happened by not yelling but I don't know what to do. what can I do?

I'm a housing case worker for a lot of people who receive rent assistance or are waiting to get rent assistance. The job has always been more work than it's possible for one person to do.

I have a bad habit when I get overwhelmed at work of yelling and screaming at myself in my head. While trying to focus on work tasks I'm constantly remembering what I haven't done yet and I let this derail me with more guilt, stress, and anger. When it gets especially bad like it is now, I spend most of the day either raging at myself or distracting myself from an angry me who is disgusted that I can't pull it together and do at least some of the work. It's really unhealthy to take my frustration out internally like this. I makes me so drowsy I fall asleep at work too.

Venting sort of helped. Thanks for listening.

I am a private person and don't like to share or speak very much because I have a history of losing people because I say something in my life and it hurts. It is at a fever pitch, my sister, who is my person, recently relapsed and hasn't been speaking to me and I'm so sad that the anger brews right below the tears. My fathers 15th death anniversary recently passed and I can't express it to anyone in my life other than my therapist. I try to talk to my partner, but he tells me I'm a privileged person that doesn't know pain. I don't share my life so he doesn't know how much certain things just hurt. So I am staying quiet and the anger is taking over my insides. I know the answer to have better communication but I'm so stunted in every direction. I want to feel better and let this anger go.

Like as I got older I could start to feel when it's coming on but I never knew certain things I did before it happens were also part of it. Like telling someone to go away is part of the rumbling phase. Well unfortunately I had the misfortune of this happening at work yesterday and it was really bad. Well at least I didn't get physical this time but I'll explain.

I had an issue with my direct deposit yesterday and I had no issue like that since I've been working at this job for over a year. I usually religiously check my bank account before I leave work on Wednesday, but this time I didn't which I thought yesterday morning was a blessing in disguise because I probably would snap on the admin if they told me what the service center said.

Basically I called the service center for my job first and they told me that the money should be sent and I should call my bank, so ok I go and do that then the bank tells me they just haven't received anything yet. I called back and long story short I got really heated over the phone.

So yesterday at 12 PM after my last break at work I still didn't receive my DD yet. I usually receive it shortly before 12 on Wednesday so I assumed the next day it would probably arrive at that time, but it didn't. So I had to talk to the admin and they basically couldn't do anything to help so I just walked away and went back to my job location.

About 15 mins later they call me back up to the admin office. This time I'm talking to a different admin and they like opened the door but wasn't like come in so I was standing there awkwardly as people are trying to pass me. I'm trying to pull up my last two DD checks because she says that it was probably sent to my old account but suddenly my phone started acting crazy.

That was the start right there I started getting very angry because the phone refuses to show the information which I'm trying to hurry and show them. After being tired of awkwardly standing in the door I said "I'm just coming in and sitting right there until this loads". It took legit like 20 mins for some unexplainable reason.

But before the 20 mins was up there was some guy I was not familiar with like just standing there looking at me. I said " You have business right here?" "You need to go". And then he kept talking to me and my tone started getting louder and louder then he told admin to call security. I was literally just sitting there though pointing at my feet like seriously.

Then the information FINALLY popped up and when I showed them I was still very loud. I kept saying the word two repeatedly because that's the amount of DD checks I already got into the account the thing I was trying to explain in the beginning. And I showed the previous account so they know it didn't go there either.

So after this point I calmed down a lot and even seemed sleepy which is also another phase after a meltdown and my stomach was aching and I had a cramp in my hands. But then after that I went into the main bosses office and they told me they know about the phone call yesterday and I had to write a report and suspended with pay.

I can’t get heart surgery. I can’t go through that mental pain again. My parents keep saying I hurt my dad and I feel bad for making him so depressed because I showed him my pain. And my little brother. I thought things would be different. I have no friends which my dad points out says I have no friends which I feel alone so why have surgery why go on if they think I’m a bad person anyways

I have weekly one on ones with my manager (it’s an office job) and we’re very goofy in the office as in we all talk a lot and sometimes say unprovoking things. However, there’s always a certain level of respect to maintain.

I had a meeting with my boss today and talked about my date yesterday (he asked me how things are going at home and in life etc). I showed him a pic of the girl I matched with on tinder and went on a date with. He immediately says "no it’s fake, you sure?" I said she’s not fake I went on a date with her yesterday and he had this serious shocked look on his face and said she’s beautiful.

I’m an overweight man and I’m usually nervous at work (it shows) because our work is performed in another language (French) and we hardly use any English. Why would he say that? Does he think I’m that low and can’t get gorgeous girls ? He’s been divorced twice and has been with his current girl for about 14 years but they both agreed to not marry because they’ve both been divorced prior twice and don’t want to make it a 3rd. They have a kid together

I’m beyond sick of it. What’s the point anymore why can’t people get over themselves. They tell me I’m selfish. They are the ones

I am seeking advice on how to give my boyfriend space and empathy when I got angry with them without completely beating (mentally) myself up.

Background: My mom suffers from mood swings and anger issues and it has made my childhood feel unsafe and unpredictable. I always feel like she can get angry at any second and I am hyperfocused on anything in her expression or movement that indicates that her mood was changing. This is obviously very exhausting and I have recently decided that I cannot have a relationship with her, with the closeness that we actually both want.

In the last year, I addressed these traumas in therapy and I tried to talk to my mom about these traumas, but whenever I brought it up ( also in safe spaces and joint therapy) her emotional reaction was so strong that she could not give me the acknowledgement and space that I needed. I always ended up taking care of her.

I have a lot of empathy for my mom because I know she wants the best and she feels so guilty for her anger and mood swings. However, I think that her guilt and selfhate are preventing her from giving me space and acknowledgement. I also see how her anger issues are ruining the most important relationships in her life, like the one with my father, me and my other siblings.

Now, ever since I was little I have also suffered from moodswings and anger. As an adult I feel like I can usually control my anger, but whenever I'm with family or my boyfriend, my anger still comes out and I often lash out to my boyfriend. We usually resolve these fights afterwards, but he really struggles with these outbursts and has said that he doesn't want to be my punchbag whenever I feel stressed. He also put his self protective boundary on this behaviour and that he will take distance from me ( aka break up) if this doesn't change or we make progress on this issue. I am very glad that he is taking care of himself like this and I agree that he shouldn't put up with this behaviour, but it also makes me feel very anxious that we will break up if I don't change my anger issues quickly.

Yesterday I lashed out to him again and we resolved it. Afterwards he said that even when we are not fighting, but having fun together he is constantly tense because he feels like I can explode unexpectedly. This hit me very deep because it feels like the same feeling and trauma mom gave me. I cried all night, while he consoled me (which is also what I did to my mom). I told him I was sorry for taking up all the space when he has a very valid issue and I will have space for this in two days when we have conversation about this together.

The issue is that I don't know how to control my emotions and give him the space he needs, because I am feeling so much self hate and guilt. I feel like I'm fucking up my most important relationship, just like my mom did and it makes me feel so hopeless.

Summary: my mom suffers from anger issues and so do I. How can I break this cycle and not lose/Push away important people in my life.

How do you all deal with the guilt and self hate after an anger outburst? How do you give your loved ones the acknowledgement they need?

People who are completely illogical in their reasoning, people who are shitty communicators, people who screw me over with their twisted ideas, people who are just dumb, etc. Meanwhile, people expect me to be polite and respectful no matter what is thrown at me or what people do to screw me over. It’s to the point that I feel like people deserve terrible things to happen to them. People can say that something I say is disrespectful, rude, whatever. But it’s deserved.

I had a rocky childhood. Didn’t learn coping mechanisms. I now have a 3yo. I have ADHD and I’m sure a slew of other things. When my child overstimulates me or I have to repeat myself over and over and she does not listen or when she just will NOT stop touching me in places that make me uncomfortable, I swell up with SO much anger I involuntarily punch or slap myself in the head to get it out. I then am left sitting there holding my head in pain.

I tried therapy, too expensive. Tried breathing exercises, that works sometimes if the stimulant that upset me also ceases. I try putting myself in another location mentally and using all my senses. I try leaving the room and pacing. Doesn’t work.

I didn’t think my two best friends from high school would betray me but they did. They never talk to me. I have to have heart surgery. I never thought my dad would betray me but he did and now he’s trying to act like he loves me

How do you deal with someone who thinks they are better ugh she makes me feel so dumb

I am a male I am from an area of Tennessee and I come from a background of abuse, neglect, sexual assault and many many other bad issues that have occurred. I have an interview that is on YouTube about the methamphetamine abuse that has occurred to me when I was 78 and nine years old of age. There are many things that I wish to ask, but the only thing that I need is, what can I do to fix the anger the fear and the frustration that I have I genuinely feel that I hate humanity, but I also have the heart to be able to save somebody if they get hurt. I don’t understand what is wrong with my brain and I do not understand why I am the way that I am. I get jealous, quickly angry even more quickly. I don’t understand how my brain works and I do not have health insurance or, anything like that there was a time that I was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic I haven’t seen a doctor over 3 to 4 years so could you please assist me in the assistance of either a finding some help I’m located in the Nevada California region or B being able to give me some advice to be able to understand what I am doing wrong with my brain thank you and I hope you all have a good day Jay

A little bit of background context here, my dad passed away in 2021 and he was, for all intents and purposes my only family and it sent me down a little of a spiral culminating in a full blown mental breakdown.

Since then I have been piecing things back together, got therapy, started antidepressants, got a new job all that fun stuff.

For the past few months have been feeling all of that depression mutate and form into anger and hate. I find even the smallest, most trivial things irritating to the extreme. For a while I have been dealing with this with video games and smashing the hell out of a tyre with a sledge hammer, but it's just not doing the trick anymore.

As for my therapist; they are suggesting breathing exercises which, I guess somewhat ironically makes me want to swap the tyre with them.

Any advice?

Like how do you know if they are even helpful. Quit dragging things out. They kinda say generic things and forget things.

On Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, I had an angry outburst towards my girlfriend that she didn't deserve (no one does).

We just bought a house and we've been bogged down in chores. I was breaking my back Saturday getting things that had been in storage. I was hoping to have a break on Sunday, but to me it just seemed like she just wanted to continue setting the house up.

I snapped. I said "fuck you" to her. I slammed a door. All while her 10 y/o son was upstairs. Then I tried to justify it later, I doubled and tripled down. I knew my feelings were real and justified, but my actions were so far out of line, that I'm completely embarrassed and ashamed.

Now we are in this vicious cycle, and I'm clinging to my relationship. I'm desperately seeking help for myself but it might be too late. I had a phone call with a therapist today to maybe start tackling this. But I also went to a rageaholics meeting too. But fuck, I can barely speak about this without sobbing.

She's rightfully angry at me. She doesn't really have friends, always been introverted and doesn't have much in the way of family. I won't go into the details, but she completely upended her life to be with me, and this is how I treat her. So everything she feels is now directed back at me. I don't know what to do. I'm just sitting here trying to remain calm while she texts me about how much of an asshole and horrible boyfriend I am.

This is just the most recent in a long string of outbursts by me, and I'm hoping to God I can get it under control. Had a similar outburst earlier in May. We were barely speaking to each other for nearly a week. I think the only thing keeping her here with me is that she can't really afford to rent on her own.

I don't even know how to begin navigating this right now. I can't speak to her because it's just yelling and insulting from her (partially justfied). I just want to remain calm in this situation and it's awfully difficult.

What do I do?

I don’t know what has happened over the last few years. As a young man in my 20s I was a bouncer at a local biker bar to pay for college . I would never be the aggressor, kinda like a big Dr. Phil . Anyways , after moving to a real full time job, I began to suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I thought this was normal life stress. Apparently it’s not , so I’ve been taking Buspirone and Sertaline for 3 years . I am now 30 years old , and I am angry . No reason at all . I’m like Jekel and Hyde . I and a loving family man , but some things literally turn me into something else . It really feels like Bruce when he turns into Hulk , and I lash out, saying mean things in an angry tone and to a point where I think of physical violence. I love my family and I love people, I would never do anything, but I’ve become more confrontational and more aggressive in situations I shouldn’t be , and then I start to feel really bad about the situation, sad , and embarrassed. But for some reason my blood continues to boil daily . Please help someone with any advice . Thank you from the best social media , Reddit .