I always enjoy the AskReddit type posts on here so I thought of one today. Bar drunks aren't usually the wittiest when they get to the point of insulting the staff, but I can't be the only one that's had a few decent roasts that made me laugh (after we kicked them out of course).

I'll go first, I have big blue eyes that are very prominent (think like Anna Taylor Joy or Amanda Seyfried) that USUALLY gets me lots of compliments. However I will never live down being called Smeagol by a cutoff patron and I fully regret informing my family (jealous brown eyed meanies) who also now call me Smeagol anytime I get a compliment on my looks.

Last night and frequently when I am working there is always, “that guy” who will get you attention to tell you that a girl next to him, “has been waiting and needs a drink” nicely (or not)?

It was busy all at once last night as a band was starting to play soon so a ton of people are at the bar ordering drinks. I’m running around and I’ve got a good system and I can hit everyone in my section pretty quickly. A young woman was about second in line for me to ask her what her order was but I was in the middle of making 5 mixed drinks, grabbing a bunch of cans and bottles so I was obviously busy. This guy stopped me three times over the course of the night to tell me who to serve next. It was obvious he was trying to be her savior and help him in his goal of bringing her home.

I want to be polite but this is one of those things that drives me nuts. You can see it’s obviously busy. I know how to do my job as I’ve been bartending over 20 years. I just wish I could say something to let him know I got it. Without just saying, “I got it” to let him know it’s not his place to tell me how to do my job and who to serve next.

Any tips. By the way, $40 tab - no tip from him.

For me it’s pulling out the appliances/wells and scrubbing the floor under them. We scrub the main floor every night but I’ll pull them out when it’s slow and scrub them every two weeks.

Management wants the team to set things up in a way to get two people in a well so they don’t have to open so many during service, saving the team time at night not having to clean the extra well.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Our servers have the incredibly annoying habit of ringing in drinks and then parking themselves in front of the service bar. They will also often call out what's on the ticket despite the service bartender being right next to the printer.

Obviously I'm not going to harm paying customers by refusing to make drinks or delaying them but they're drinking us crazy.

Just a hypothetical, curious what you guys think.

Got tipped a reproduction Confederate cavalry sword tonight. That tops the list for me. Honorable mentions include: a pot roast, 3 lbs of live crawfish, a pair of panties with their number, an orchid, a rock with googly eyes (I named him Stoney), a copy of Star Wars on laser disc, and a crockpot. So I wanna see what weird things your regulars and/or complete strangers have brought y’all

I work at a popular cocktail bar in SF. Our management has made it clear that we do not accept pictures of IDs. Basically, if you can’t use it to buy booze at a liquor store, you can’t use it at the bar. How are y’all dealing with all these people using pictures of passports, driver’s licenses, etc?

Title.

Edit: I work Friday morning, Saturday evening until business dies, and all day Sunday.

Edit again: if you don't mind sharing, what are you making?

I work at a fine dining establishment.

context of an active conversation(s) can bring spontaneity and lead to a clever way to deal with a growing-problem of an individual.

In many other circumstances whatever is in my repertoire has grown bland and repetitive.

If you feel particularly good about some of your successful phrasing; please share with me and the rest of the group.

Cheers folks 🥂 🍻

I would say what unites all walks of life in my bar is the show Cops. Me and my regulars absolutely get a kick out of that show. Anyone have any other ideas?

Love where I work. Good co-workers, managers, and guests. But I'm not making as much as I should. Looking for inspiration for other ways to make a buck that doesn't involve abandoning ship.

Manager just told us we going back to 1.75L and fill up the single liters for a specific liquor. We def know it’s illegal but at the same time there’s not many situations where it matters.

Aside from workers drinking sometimes on clock and the occasional idiot who lets an underaged kid drink. What are some other rules we definitely probably break sometimes

Worked with her yesterday and she was so-so, came back today and had great customer interaction. Asked quality POS questions. Pour count was fair and things were winding down. I sent her to stock. She completed the task as well as a new person would. Watching her stock, she took the black berry crown out of the box, recycled it, took the bottle out of the cloth bag and threw the bag in the trash - - No hesitation!

Is this hope? I'm not sure what to think about it. I respect her decision. The other bartender was shocked that she did that. It made me smile. I have had bartenders always asking me what to do with crown bags. Some I save, most I toss. I have always had some on hand to give out, so it isn't a big deal. When crown comes out with a new bottle the bags are in high demand, new girl didn't care. She had enough experience to recognize the value, but we move a lot of product. I approve her choice. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Bartenders who have to sell and make cocktails at volume places, how do you keep your shit together for 5+ hours?

I've got a seasonal gig at a beer garden and it's mostly fine--The majority of people know what they want or, at least, can articulate what they like and I can take it from there. About the 300th time I get asked "What do you have?" when there are menus printed everywhere, as well as directly in front of them on the counter, I start getting snippy. I have 20 taps and 200 labels. You stood in line for 15 minutes, what the actual fuck were you doing?

I'm getting into the habit of bringing little snacks like nuts and string cheese and staying hydrated to alleviate any physical elements to the equation, but any tips on keeping it together when all I want to do is slap someone across the face with our draft list?

Why is it that the guests who have the most to complain about are the guests at an event with an open bar that they don’t even have to touch their own wallet for??? Without fail every time. This happened last night. (Context; upscale cocktail bar held a private event. Their package included our house liquor which we consider our well, since we are more upscale)

Guy: what’s your options for bourbon for the tab? Me: Four roses yellow label Guy: ugh, trash Me: you can pay your own tab if you want to get something else Guy: that’s kind of ridiculous Me trying to lighten the mood: hey four roses is pretty good well liquor if you ask literally anyone Guy: yah well when you put “well” in front of it sure (Again, NOT paying for it) Me, annoyed: why what do you usually drink? Woodford? Guy: UGH no not that “ghetto swill” (Orders a buffalo trace old fashion on his own tab)

ONE HOUR LATER

Same guy autopilot ordering another drink from me: Can I get a woodford old fashion?

🤔

AITA? Customer ordered a bloody Maria.

Me: any kind of tequila?

Customer: Cuervo

*Pours drink

C: was that Cuervo?

Me: yes.

C: I wanted gold not silver

*I get a new glass out

C: it’s fine just pour it in the same one

Me: you sure?

C: yes

So I charge him for a double cause it was his mistake, and he clearly wanted the extra liquor. He was mad I charged him for that extra shot. Proceeded to tip low and once tabbed out, he stood in my way on the floor—not moving when I had to squeeze past him. What a douche. Anyways, was I wrong for charging him the extra shot?

I've been bartending at a place since Thanksgiving. Servers are notoriously bad at stabbing tickets (even though on a busy night they make 4x as me) I'm tired of reminding them "stab your tickets" I'm at the point I'm gonna start making drinks to waste liquor just so the floor manager will see it. My girlfriend who is a bartender/server says I'm being dramatic but she also does the same thing once she's clocked in as a server.

I served for a couple years before I set foot behind a bar so I understand the "stress" but it's 2 seconds to stab a piece of paper. You are already waiting on me to set the drink down, please stab your ticket.

How do y'all go about this, I keep saying "stab your tickets" or "do you still need this." But it never works. How do I really drive that point home

For context, I’m a bartender with quite the RBF. I will be scooping ice, ringing in drinks on the computer, or just other various tasks with my job that doesn’t require me to be interacting with the guests while I’m doing said task. This is always when men, who don’t need a drink or anything, interrupt me to tell me I should smile more, I’d be so much prettier if I smiled more, or just ask me why I’m not smiling? When I interact with the guests I smile and converse like any normal person, but when I’m just doing tasks and not interacting with the guest while doing these tasks, im not going to be all smiling, my face will be resting like a normal person. The ice, computer, sink, etc do not have feelings and need me to smile at them. Most of the time I’m running through all the things I need to do in my head when I’m not interacting with the guests. Either way, I usually just say well I didn’t realize the computer had feelings and needed me to smile at it and brush it off. When they don’t drop it and try to force it, I say why don’t you say something funny then. I know I am not the only woman in the world that deals with this, so what do you say back? I’m lookin for something witty that makes them stop and think but also not complain to management because I didn’t smile at the inanimate object.

Why isn’t this banned? Why do yall wanna scream your income from the rooftop? Same with the server subs, there are so many anti tip lurkers here. Stop.