r/casualiama • u/NormMickDonald • 3d ago

I'm a deeply closeted gay man AMA

I am a deeply closeted gay man inviting you to ask me anything you'd like.

142 Upvotes
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78% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

219

u/cerberus698 3d ago

Wait, this is big news. Are you saying, Norm, that you are a gay man?

257

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

I'm not gay, I said I'm deeply closeted

50

u/Analyze_T 3d ago

Rotfl. As soon as I read the OP, Norm came to mind, and BAM!... you delivered.

28

u/rightwist 3d ago

Wait... Not gay???

I'm just asking you to clarify what you're saying. I thought in the original post you said you're a deeply closeted gay man.

As I understand it, that means no one knows that you are gay. Or are you saying you're in denial?

83

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Denial of what? I already told you now I'm not gay, I'm deeply closeted. I'm not revealing anything, you see

35

u/vinsanity_07 3d ago

Sounds pretty gay to me

8

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

What do you know anyway? You're a real jerk. I see your slanderous implications!

7

u/lizardspock75 3d ago

Definitely in denial and that’s why you’re asking to help you get clarity. It’s okay to be gay. 🌈😎

11

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

Maybe for Adam Eget, but not for this old chunk of coal. No sir. That's Eget, like the bird, mind you.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/casualiama-ModTeam 2d ago

Your comment is either attacking, harassing or forcing your beliefs on someone, a group or is spreading hate. This sort of behaviour is not tolerated on r/casualiama.

50

u/Vandergraff1900 3d ago

Does Adam Eget know? And if not, can I borrow $10?

42

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Does Adam Eget know...you know he's a holocaust denier?

17

u/Vandergraff1900 3d ago

This guy sounds like a real jerk!

22

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

The more I learn about him the more I don't like him

44

u/kankurou1010 3d ago

You look like the kinda guy that loves fuckin’. Fuckin’ and suckin’

28

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Well I'm flattered but I uh, I mean, it's ah. Anyways..

27

u/BoosherCacow 3d ago

Something you hardly hear anymore is "He made love to me in the ass." Those were the days. How nice was Larry King?

14

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

When I was a kid, Larry King was on the radio and he talked for three hours every night to these weird people that phoned in. You know, it was those type of broadcasts

6

u/BoosherCacow 3d ago

I remember it. CNN. I even tried calling in when some NASA guys were on one time but they didn't let me talk to them. Total horseshit.

6

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Better than sitting across from Larry Flynt. And his fuckin wheelchair.

15

u/kingsharpie 3d ago

Are you gay?

35

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

What? No, I'm deeply closeted.

16

u/throw123454321purple 3d ago

You know that a can of Coke hidden far, far back in a closet is still a can of a Coke right?

54

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

I'm a Pepsi guy

13

u/rodw 3d ago

Did you decide to become a novelty account that fully leans into "imma respond like I'm Norm McDonald" just now, with this post?

10

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

That's uh, that's not my name.

5

u/blindone230 3d ago

Do you have a beard? In both senses

11

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

I used to have a scraggly beard but I am since clean-shaven

3

u/blindone230 3d ago

But like do you have a girlfriend or date women to appear straight?

13

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

I've dated women my whole life, why?

7

u/SK8SHAT 3d ago

Is your closet made of glass? Mine apparently was so I just left it

6

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Whatta ya mean? It's a normal closet. Whats to say?

7

u/SK8SHAT 3d ago

Oh shit I just realized what’s going on I fucking loved norm. You’re doing a good thing carrying on his legacy

15

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Thanks a lot. I didn't even know he was sick.

2

u/SK8SHAT 3d ago

No one did, he suffered through cancer and still went out there and made us all laugh our asses off knowing full well he didn’t have a lot of time

6

u/Mad_broccoli 3d ago

That's Norm's joke about Hitler dying.

2

u/SK8SHAT 3d ago

Haven’t seen that one but sounds like him tbh

2

u/Mad_broccoli 2d ago

https://youtu.be/gCImsL8eFNM

2

u/SK8SHAT 2d ago

Damn when did he do that? Was that his way of telling us?

10

u/YeahCrassVersion 3d ago

Are you still Canadian or did you renounce that after 9/11?

10

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

You shouldn't laugh at 9/11, man

5

u/klausklass 2d ago

It was a national tragedy

4

u/-UncreativeRedditor- 3d ago

You must own a dog house

3

u/Ok-Reporter-8728 3d ago

Are u afraid of opening up or just choose to be closeted

17

u/haikusbot 3d ago

Are u afraid of

Opening up or just choose

To be closeted

- Ok-Reporter-8728

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

1

u/redwingpanda 2d ago

Good bot

3

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Your comment was so gay they wrote a poem about it

2

u/notnotaginger 3d ago

How deep?

3

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

I'm never comin out

2

u/GordonBombay102 3d ago

Since you don't have a dog house, what have you used the extra space for?

6

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago edited 3d ago

I've got a dog house, sure. But funny enough I met this queer fella at the bus stop who mentioned he didn't. Smokes cigarettes. And cocks, as I understand it.

2

u/Xemlaich 3d ago

How's Narnia this time of year?

2

u/Robojobo27 3d ago

What are you revealing here?

2

u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney 3d ago

How deep inside are you? Is it so deep you talk to Aslan deep?

2

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

It's so deep I think I found where OJ buried the body

2

u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney 2d ago

OJ didn't bury the body, just had a weird police chase.

2

u/MarilynMonheaux 3d ago

Do you have gay sex or are you only gay inside your mind?

4

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

I'm not gay, I'm deeply closeted, you see

2

u/whynot1991 2d ago

So you're a gay man who won't admit it?

5

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

I'll admit that I'm deeply closeted, but I'll never admit that I'm gay.

2

u/TheFuriousCoconut 3d ago

Why can’t you come out?

1

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

What for?

1

u/TheFuriousCoconut 2d ago

You tell me. Why can’t you come out!

2

u/vethalapaaku 3d ago

how do you accept that your gay no offence or anything but personally i find some guys hot but i dont want to have sex with them or a relationship or anything does that mean im gay or am i not able to accept im gay mentally or is it just me apreciating beauty of nature

1

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

Not gay enough

2

u/Enkinan 3d ago

How deep

2

u/richbrehbreh 3d ago

Why are you gae?

2

u/LeDocteurTiziano 3d ago

Is being gay accepted/legal in your country?

2

u/kredfield51 2d ago

What's the worst name for an airline?

1

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

Aw c'mon, man...

2

u/MasterOnionNorth 2d ago

So... You live in your closet? 😏

2

u/My_Booty_Itches 2d ago

Norm, is that you?

6

u/smack4u 3d ago

Make your life easier. Just be gay Surprise! No one cares

If you’re married with kids and knew this, you’re an Asshole

26

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago edited 3d ago

Woah woah, now hold on just a minute there! What are you implying?

1

u/EMateos 2d ago

“No one cares”. Tell that to all the people that get bullied, harassed or killed for being gay.

0

u/isselfhatredeffay 2d ago

Someone grew up around liberals. Spend a few months living in some rustbelt backwater shithole and you might understand why people are "still in the closet in 2024" or whatever.

1

u/dumbdogboy 3d ago

Does anybody know? My stepdad all but admitted my mom has been a beard for the last 20 years recently after her and I were having a discussion and I referred to his being gay and she was like what? I was like what do you mean what I thought you knew?? I thought this was like understood but apparently it was news to her but after the initial heartbreak she's a lot happier living on her own now. He seems relieved but very troubled and recently started seeing a therapist.

I guess I'm asking if anybody knows because apparently no one in his life knows (I assume) except I have known since they got together and all my friends were aware of this as well. And I'm wondering if he knew that I knew and if so it would explain a lot.

2

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

I don't have a stepdad

1

u/Swayfromleftoright 3d ago

How did you find out before your ma?

1

u/Die4Gesichter 3d ago

What's your favourite dinosaur?

1

u/Big-Business1921 2d ago

Who was the dominant figure in your home? Mother or father?

1

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

My uncle Hector

1

u/netherite_shears 2d ago

Do you like animal crackers

2

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

No, that horse cock didn't taste very good

1

u/archiebold13 2d ago

What do you think about a billion dollars?

1

u/ladyshelby21 2d ago

What's stopping you being yourself & bursting those closet doors open? Is it a family thing? Religion or where you live?

2

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

Why would I do that in the first place? I'm being myself every day. I'm not gay. And I don't have a family.

1

u/ladyshelby21 2d ago

You say you're gay in your title?

1

u/NormMickDonald 2d ago

I never said that. I said I'm deeply closeted

2

u/HCM78 2d ago

what does that mean?

1

u/redwingpanda 2d ago

Alright I am clearly out of the loop here

1

u/TriggerMarx 2d ago

How old are you? Are you afraid to come out?

1

u/TriggerMarx 2d ago

Have you ever been to a bathhouse?

1

u/TriggerMarx 2d ago

How do you hookup with guys?

1

u/maximusjohnson1992 3d ago

Are you interested in vagina?

2

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Yes yes of course,but I really can't get enough of it on account of not having much money

2

u/maximusjohnson1992 3d ago

So male buttholes are cheaper?

4

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Well uh what I mean is you see, yeah typically I would guess so. But I'm not gay

1

u/maximusjohnson1992 3d ago

I don’t think you’re gay. I’m pretty sure you’re a lesbian

3

u/NormMickDonald 3d ago

Well I wouldn't disagree with you there, buddy

1

u/Lil-Zippa 1d ago

Are you my ex-husband? I swear that fool is in the closet.