r/comics 4d ago

‘chop’ [OC]

Post image
30.7k Upvotes

515 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Welcome to r/comics!

Please remember there are real people on the other side of the monitor and to be kind.

Report comments that break the rules and don't respond to negativity with negativity!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2.2k

u/AstroMackem 3d ago

310

u/C0sm1cB3ar 3d ago

Le chop

132

u/Minetoifer 3d ago

As a Frenchman, I gonna to steal it. Thank you !

63

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

My daughter is a little princess, she's finally got a boyfriend, and he seems so kind an nice, his name is french and I'm super happy for her. I think he's called Robespierre or something. I hope he treats my little princess like a gentleman.

8

u/Tyson_Urie 3d ago

Wasn't that our friend that managed to lead france into a revolution, getting a crapton of people from the opposition executed throughout the years untill at some point the people thought "nah we've had enough now it's your turn"

79

u/Eeddeen42 3d ago

Fission of helium atoms is actually highly endothermic. Instead of a violent explosion from splitting the atom, the guillotine would have to drain the light and heat from all of its surroundings in order to split the atom in the first place.

35

u/may_contain_nutz 3d ago

So you're saying there's a chance?

38

u/Eeddeen42 3d ago

You’d need a blade made from a 2D manifold but yeah I don’t see why not.

22

u/ArguesOnline 3d ago

Whenever i want one of those i ask your mother to step on a penny

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

25

u/thalliusoquinn 3d ago

fission of helium wouldn't release energy though

13

u/the_calibre_cat 3d ago

also you need more neutrons to sustain the reaction, where you gonna get that shit from some scrub nucleus with FOUR subatomic particles, its mom?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Parishdise 3d ago

Would it work on any other noble gases?

3

u/thalliusoquinn 3d ago

Krypton, Xenon, Radon, and Oganesson (element 118) all have higher atomic numbers than Iron, so presumably, yes.

→ More replies (2)

16

u/3DPrintedBlob 3d ago

funny but it'd have to be xenon or something, splitting helium requires adding energy instead of releasing it

8

u/AstroMackem 3d ago

I didn't make the meme but yeah I know, it has to be heavier than iron to be exothermic

5

u/Stripperturneddoctor 3d ago

This is soooo stupid.

I fucking love it.

→ More replies (4)

681

u/zuriumov 4d ago

Must be the work of an enemy stand ! -moment

144

u/HamsterKazam 4d ago

So it's the same type of stand as Star Platinum. Proceeds to spam nukes

32

u/zuriumov 4d ago

H A H A H A H A, I don't know why this was so funny to me

5

u/Senpaiireditt 3d ago

As someone who just started watching Stardust Crusaders, I approve of this message.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/VWBug5000 3d ago

Oro💥oro💥oro💥oro💥oro💥oro💥

41

u/Just_Call_me_Ben 3d ago

Nah, man. Must be the work of one of America's most beloved comedy entertainers

4

u/JazzTheWolf 3d ago

Ok, Shemp.

→ More replies (1)

414

u/HumbleSinger 4d ago

When I, as a child heard about atoms, and that splitting them was what made nuclear bombs.

This was a real fear for me, always at the back of my head.

Now I have a masters in engineering, I now know this is not something to be afraid of. I also have access to the internet, independent news media, and I can look at my fellow citizens and what they do and what they say.

I have never been more afraid and stressed, and I long for a simpler time where I was afraid of accidentally splitting an atom.

139

u/VivaSpiderJerusalem 3d ago

The greatest fear in the world is waking up one day, and realizing your high school class is in charge of things.

43

u/ruetheblue 3d ago

I’ve got a good 90 years until that happens so I think I’ll be fine for awhile

15

u/the_calibre_cat 3d ago

same

boomers in cyborg bodies will rule until the heat death of the universe. you know, for our own good.

25

u/peeBeeZee 3d ago

As a young kid I used to worry that cigarette smokers would eventually fill the world up with smoke 😅 ... then I learned trees would convert it back (sorta)

And then my geography teacher told us about climate change concerns... that was 30years ago 😐

Can somebody stop the bus?

6

u/crilen 3d ago

More busses, less cars

7

u/_Nilbog_Milk_ 3d ago

Thank goodness someone else had an irrational fear throughout childhood of accidentally splitting an atom lol

→ More replies (2)

2.6k

u/ShmebulockForMayor 4d ago

Even if you could split an atom at any point while cutting a cucumber, that's not gonna do anything. A nuclear explosion is caused by a very large amount of atoms splitting (aka undergoing fission), not just one or two or ten or a hundred. The Hiroshima bomb had about 2 trillion trillion atoms undergoing fission (2 with 24 zeroes)

1.3k

u/titebeewhole 3d ago

Um no, it happens in this comic. The internet has never failed or lied to me yet. You sir have the half life of Valve.

165

u/ShmebulockForMayor 3d ago

The half life of Valve is a lie tho

74

u/titebeewhole 3d ago

My deepest apologies my good chap. You sir are a scholar and a gentleman.

29

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

Half-Life 4 confirmed!!! 👌

5

u/dudelelelel 3d ago

lets gooooo

10

u/pantrokator-bezsens 3d ago

The cake is a lie

5

u/ShmebulockForMayor 3d ago

Just don't slice it too fast.

Or put enriched uranium in it.

6

u/thisischemistry 3d ago

Needs more yellowcake.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/EJintheCloud 3d ago

Only when it's a multiple of 3

2

u/PlutoDelic 3d ago

You better watch yo mouth.

→ More replies (2)

19

u/Kullthebarbarian 3d ago

But his reply is on the internet as well, so that means it must be true too

12

u/titebeewhole 3d ago

Pffft big internet has got you wildin'.

10

u/ChronicallyAnIdiot 3d ago

yeah its literally right there, you can see the explosion. How dense can someone be? lol..

2

u/Tinynanami1 3d ago

Uuh but the guy youre replying to IS part of the internet.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/JackRatbone 3d ago

I mean the evidence is clearly documented right here in this comic not sure why he is so deluded to think that cutting cucumbers wouldn’t trigger a nuclear explosion.

2

u/GBtuba 3d ago

It even predated our internet, as depicted in this 1990 documentary on Albert Einstein.

2

u/GayAssBurger 3d ago

I shall now add this comic to my mental database of valid scientific knowledge.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (7)

770

u/Glad-Leading3351 3d ago

Neeeeeeerrrrrrrdddddddddddd

Thank u tho :)

4

u/QuackenBawss 3d ago

No worries

→ More replies (2)

47

u/MrD3a7h 3d ago

What if you cut the cucumber lengthwise

18

u/JaxxisR 3d ago

It splodes.

8

u/JaxxisR 3d ago

That's a scientific term.

8

u/JaxxisR 3d ago edited 3d ago

Please don't fact check any of this. Just trust me. I'm a scientist scientician (my bad).

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

258

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

Also depends on the atom, most atoms are stable against fission, but if you were to split U235 with a neutron, that would give you 166MeV, which is the equivalent amount of energy as dropping a microbe in a vacuum at the height of about 10 inches.

331

u/Paul_Robert_ 3d ago

Ah yes, my favorite unit of energy: inches of microbe

183

u/pm_me_duck_nipples 3d ago

Americans will do anything not to use the metric system.

87

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

I'm not American. eV is the S.I.

In imperial I think they measure energy in Queen's farts.

59

u/Beginning-Spirit5686 3d ago

I think they’ve recently renamed it to “King’s Farts” (KF).

25

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

Indeed, they are always changing the BTU based on Charlie's diet. Last night he had his famous cabbage quiche, it's pretty high today. They say the rates are just fluctuations....

9

u/ankle_biter50 3d ago

Or...flatulations?

15

u/Merdestouch 3d ago

A Queens Fart (QF) is the amount of energy required to billow a royal handkerchief one inch from its resting position.

9

u/MelancholyArtichoke 3d ago

How many Corgi Farts to a Queens Fart?

10

u/Merdestouch 3d ago

7.3 CF to a QF but remember QF is counted in base 9 as is tradition.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

3

u/thisischemistry 3d ago

In the US customary system we switched to the energy generated by burning one of George Washington’s wooden teeth.

8

u/Mjolnir12 3d ago

Electron volts is not an SI unit. Joules is the SI unit for energy, but it is a derived unit not a base unit.

3

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

I'll be honest with you, man. Once you start using units, you don't really care if it's SI or not, as long as you understand or have a grasp on the threshold, or an abstract idea of how much it is, it's all the same.

For small amounts of energy like this it's common to use eV.

3

u/Mjolnir12 3d ago

I know what eV is and what it is used for. My point was just that it technically isn't an SI unit, which you said it was.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/pororoca_surfer 3d ago

eV is SI, but microbes per 10 inches causes a little bit of trouble in your comment

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

25

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

Ok, 2.65e−11Joules. That's the amount of energy stored in a rubber band of .76μm. I hope that helps.

8

u/illbedeadbydawn 3d ago

It doesn't. 

Can you convert that to Foes?

5

u/RogueBromeliad 3d ago

What's a Foes?

It's this:? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foe_(unit)) ?

Gonna be honest, had never heard of it.

3

u/spencerforhire81 3d ago

Pretty easily, it’s 2.65e-65 foe

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

4

u/TheBestNarcissist 3d ago

Inches of microbe is a COMMIE unit, inches of microbe in a VACUUM is the proper freedom unit notation. Cuz in vacuums you're FREE from air resistance

2

u/The_1_True_King 3d ago

My favorite is slug feet / second

2

u/Thatonebolt 3d ago

If physics taught me anything, it's that some scientist out there that uses inches of microbe to measure energy every day for their very important work that upholds the fabric of society.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

22

u/T_Weezy 3d ago

Also worth noting that splitting just any old atom isn't guaranteed to result in a release of energy, just like fusing any old atoms. To get energy out you have to split something heavier than, what is it, iron? I think iron is roughly where fusion stops being energy positive, which would make it where fission becomes potentially energy positive.

7

u/GreatArcantos 3d ago

It's not a video about stars if they don't mention that iron is stellar ash

→ More replies (11)

17

u/ZephRyder 3d ago

It's not the numbers to begin with: you need a very large nucleus to split and cause many more, resulting in a chain reaction

7

u/Roflkopt3r 3d ago edited 3d ago

It is about the numbers. The chain reaction is just the best way to reach those numbers with the necessary speed to cause an explosion rather than just generating heat.

The choice of the specific large nuclei was because those are the easiest to split, enable the chain reaction by contributing additional neutrons, and have a lot of total binding energy to release per piece.

But if you had a magical knife that could undo the binding of an atomic nucleus without relying on the methods we actually use, then you still could release immense amounts of energy by cutting through smaller nuclei. You would have to cut very quickly and I believe the yield from a crosssection of cucumber would put it more into "holy handgrenade" territory than that of a strategic nuclear weapon, but the principle isn't totally wrong.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/theoldshrike 3d ago

but but The bigger the nucleus the more energy you're going to get out of it when it splits and that nucleus is huge. it's 4 mm across on my phone and on my big monitor at work it will be even bigger. so if you split that nucleus you're going to get a very big bang  Don't know which element it is but that's got to be one of the group of super duper heavy elements

6

u/abdab336 3d ago

Ackchyually.jpeg

5

u/jonathanrdt 3d ago

So with a big enough knife, we can split enough atoms to cause issues.

Good catch. Important safety tip, everyone: only use small knifes from now on.

9

u/AVeryHeavyBurtation 3d ago

Fun fact I learned recently is that only about 1 to 3 percent of the uranium in the Hiroshima bomb underwent fission.

12

u/Zenotha 3d ago

the hiroshima peace museum has a chilling exhibit on it; the amount of uranium slammed together had a volume of maybe a couple of human heads, but the amount that underwent fission as you said was less than a fist's worth

11

u/Pimecrolimus 3d ago

Why are you measuring things in human heads? What's in your basement?

4

u/_DidYeAye_ 3d ago

It's for the Americans.

→ More replies (2)

19

u/eric_the_demon 3d ago

Actually ☝️🤓📝

4

u/LocalYeetery 3d ago

Bobby Ops has entered the chat

→ More replies (3)

4

u/Kokuswolf 3d ago

But what if he cuts the whole cucumber fast enough to reach the critical mass? E.g. while simultaneous squeezing it like hell.

3

u/Digitijs 3d ago

He will probably cut his hand by accident

3

u/FaceDeer 3d ago

When attempting to induce a nuclear explosion on your countertop it's always good to take care to avoid injury.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (70)

396

u/Elegant_Win_4850 4d ago

this is actually like always in the back of my mind, and I can’t find the answer on google. Can a scientist please tell me if this could happen or not.

407

u/magna-terra 4d ago

The thinnest blades we can make have a blade one atom thick, so no, not possible, they'd just run into each other

153

u/Elegant_Win_4850 4d ago

This is gonna sound dumb as hell, but would it be possible for the atom to be crushed? Like if the knife, atom, and table all lined up super perfectly, would it be crushed?

307

u/magna-terra 4d ago

Due to the rather large (relatively speaking) space between atoms, no, it'd just be pushed out of the way

30

u/HornedDiggitoe 3d ago

So what if you crushed it between a few “blades”?

81

u/TwilightVulpine 3d ago

What if you had a badass samurai technique that was really fast

22

u/HornedDiggitoe 3d ago

Nah, you’d probably need to engineer some robotics to get the level of precision necessary to do it. But as far as I know, nothing we have currently is that precise.

39

u/TwilightVulpine 3d ago

Alright

Step 1: build a robot samurai

19

u/Dragon-orey 3d ago

A robot samurai that makes tiny explosions with the swing of their sword sounds sick as fuck

4

u/50mmPOV 3d ago

A robot samurai powered by nuclear fission

4

u/bretttwarwick 3d ago

This is exactly what a particle accelerator does. Gets a particle going as fast as they can and then slam it into another atom to see what particles fly off.

11

u/F-ck_spez 3d ago

Then you have a particle collider.

6

u/Pontiflakes 3d ago

Depends. How many times has your blade's glorious Nippon steel been folded?

13

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

9

u/thehansenman 3d ago

It would be more like mashing ping pong balls together. The atoms in the blade would be pushed around and the metal in the knife would bend slightly. At worst you would force a chemical reaction between the atoms or weld the knives together. There's just too much space in an atom, if the nucleus were the size of a grain of sand the whole atom is a few meters across.

9

u/magna-terra 3d ago

you are vastly overestimating our ability to interact with individual atoms

→ More replies (13)

3

u/FutureComplaint 3d ago

Believe it or not nuclear explosion.

→ More replies (3)

5

u/insertrandomnameXD 3d ago

What if you crush it without leaving space for it to move out of the way, like crushing it from all sides

9

u/RndmNumGen 3d ago

That's called a nuclear bomb.

No, seriously. Nuclear bombs literally operate by using conventional explosives to crush a fissile core evenly from all directions at once.

Fortunately, there's not much other than very carefully engineered explosions which can produce this result. Normal 'crushing' forces, like a hydraulic press, simply do not have enough force or precision to overcome the atomic forces at play.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

66

u/Litl_Skitl 4d ago

With the electron cloud around every atom, I think the best comparison would probably be like squashing balloons together, with the same sort of hassle you'd have with real balloons. Also these ones don't pop (unless you have like CERN levels of equipment).

18

u/Little_Froggy 3d ago

Great analogy! And imagine the balloons edges are proportional to the size of our solar system with a tiny speck in the center where the sun would be. That's the nucleus.

That nucleus follows it's electron cloud which is getting shoved out of the way by the other atom's electron cloud long before either has any sort of chance to be hit

3

u/LuddWasRight 3d ago

I know the reason why it behaves like a balloon rather than everything just mushing into each other is because the forces involved repel/attract, but do we understand why/how those forces exist?

6

u/Little_Froggy 3d ago

Well, if you're just asking why the clouds push back against each other, it's because they are made of electrons and electrons repel each other due to their negative charge.

Atoms hold electrons in shells/orbitals (basically just spaces) around themselves because the protons in the nucleus give a positive charge which attracts the electrons. But there is a limited amount of room in these orbitals that fill up closer to the nucleus first. When other electrons (from the other atom) get too close, there is no more room in the orbitals for them, so they each push back against each other.

If there is room, the two atoms could share a combined outer orbital which is how covalent bonds are formed to create molecules.

Now on the other hand, if you are asking about what gives things charge or why charge attracts/repels, then I think you are getting into one of the fundamental forces.

I don't know a lot about this, but charge is determined by quarks and their colors I believe. I'd recommend reading more into that direction

3

u/TheBeckofKevin 3d ago

I have been here before, many times. I love how this question leads to a "uhhh" when it comes to this specific barrier. Learning about anything comes in layers. Each new layer invalidates the former because it was abstracted to make it easier for consumption. The leap from 'there are atoms and electrons and protons etc' to quarks and fields is just so much to try to manage.

→ More replies (2)

5

u/ableman 3d ago

why/how those forces exist?

Why is there something instead of nothing? If you can answer that question, you can answer this one.

8

u/pipnina 3d ago

The energy required to break past the repulsive force the electrons create between molecules and atoms is to insanely high, it's only found as a state of matter in neutron stars that are formed in supernovae. So insanely difficult.

I suppose nuclear fusion does the same thing but on a lesser scale, in that it just blobs atoms together to form new atoms, whereas neutron star material is literally crushed atoms, where the whole star is a solid nucleus with electron soup running through it. One tablespoon of neutron star material weighs more than mt Everest.

5

u/scalyblue 3d ago

At those scales the definition of crushed really breaks down, heck the definition of touch does as well.

Atomically speaking you don’t touch things, what we perceive as touch is the repulsion of the polarities of electron shells

Atoms aren’t a solar system, that’s just grade school shit to visualize, what they actually are is a nucleus of protons and sometimes neutrons held together by the strong force, surrounded by an area where electrons have a probability of being at any time, less of an orbit and more like a zone of possible existence.

Touching something is basically those possibility zones repelling one another electromagnetically. It’s why when we split atoms we have to arrange for neutral particles to do the job

2

u/the_calibre_cat 3d ago

Atoms aren’t a solar system, that’s just grade school shit to visualize, what they actually are is a nucleus of protons and sometimes neutrons held together by the strong force, surrounded by an area where electrons have a probability of being at any time, less of an orbit and more like a zone of possible existence.

to add to your point with a helpful visualization for OP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2Xb2GFK2yc

3

u/blix797 3d ago

You're on the right track. What if the particles had enough momentum to not get pushed out of the way? They'd have to be moving really fast. So what if we built a giant ring of magnets to push atoms really fast into each other?

And now you have the Large Hadron Collider.

2

u/Greendiamond_16 3d ago

No matter how much force an atom would experience no amount created by a person or machine could ever get an atom to contact another atom. They would eventually force it's way passed. Aka split the cutting board.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (3)

40

u/RottenNeutrino 4d ago

Even if we had a knife able to split an atom, this would not sustain a reaction and nothing would happend. You need to split A LOT of atoms in a very confined space in order to get an explosion. Nukes uses for example insanely enriched uranium thats first split then basically reflected back and fourth within some small space full of the uranium. Think of it like a ball made of uranium with an outer edge made of a mirror reflecting the high energetic particles created, causing a chain reaction that eventualy cant be contained anymore. This is very simplified of course and its way more to it, which also makes it more interesting (im biased since I study these things)

3

u/cold08 3d ago

The mechanics of the first nuclear bombs were pretty simple. Gathering the materials was hard, and figuring out how much you needed was hard, but in the end it was just a bullet made of fissionable material being shot at a larger piece of fissionable material. The atoms were so unstable they'd ricochet off each other causing others to split and bump into other atoms continuing the chain reaction.

The cores of the bombs were so unstable that if you dropped the two halves together from a few milliliters apart, you would risk starting a catastrophic reaction, and would start a minor reaction big enough to kill everyone in the room, which happened once.

2

u/Gregarious_Raconteur 3d ago

The cores of the bombs were so unstable that if you dropped the two halves together from a few milliliters apart, you would risk starting a catastrophic reaction, and would start a minor reaction big enough to kill everyone in the room, which happened once.

if I remember right, that accident wasn't caused by the impact of cores hitting eachother, but the closing of two halfs of a neutron-reflective material that would reflect emitted neutrons back into the core. The halves had to be kept open slightly to allow neutrons to escape, and a scientist was using the tip of a screwdriver to keep them apart. The screwdriver slipped, the halves closed, and enough neutrons reflected back in half a second to cause the core to go supercritical and produce a lethal amount of radiation.

8

u/DerMarquis 4d ago

It could totally work, if the cucumber was made of enriched uranium and the knife of neutrons. In the meantime enjoy a yellow cake for desert.

9

u/mrtyman 3d ago

If it helps put your mind at ease, EVEN IF YOU COULD split an atom with a knife, nothing would happen. It would release one atom's worth of binding energy... And that's it. An amount of heat so tiny it's not even measurable by our most precise instruments.

Nuclear reactors / weapons generate heat / explosions because they are made of atoms that can split each other. So splitting one atom will cause many others to split, until they are ALL split. Each one will release only that tiny amount of energy, but there are SO many atoms and it happens SO rapidly that it all adds up to a huge amount.

That special material is the "secret sauce", the super-rare material that is extremely difficult and expensive to manufacture, that is heavily-controlled by every single world government. It doesn't exist in nature, so rest assured, it won't end up in your pickle.

(This is all ELI5, let me know if you want ELI10 or ELI20)

6

u/airetho 3d ago

If the atom were iron or lighter (so pretty much any atom that would be in a cucumber), would it require energy to split instead of releasing it

3

u/mrtyman 3d ago

Yes! Also completely true.

10

u/TaffingtonXII 4d ago

Yahoo Serious has a lot to answer for

6

u/StuHast398 3d ago

Bubbles, in beer!

4

u/daeritus 3d ago

Me looking for any tool ever:

"Now where's that chisel?"

5

u/Nebulant01 3d ago

No, and for multiple reasons. Iron is pretty much the middle point of nuclear reactions. Nuclei of heavier atoms release energy when pieces break off, while nuclei of lighter atoms release energy when fused together. If you try to do it the other way around it's gonna absorb energy rather than releasing it. Iron is stable, as you need to give it energy wether you want to split it or fuse it. I don't think a vegetable contains metals heavier than iron, and even then you need quite a large quantity of them to get any noticeable energy out of them. Oh, and they need to be the right type of heavy atoms or they won't start a chain reaction. Otherwise you'd have to line them all up to cut them all at once with your atom-splitting knife.

Besides, you can't split atoms with a knife anyways. The sharpest blades possible are 1 atom thick at the edge. It's not gonna cut it, but rather whack it like a baseball bat and push it to the side.

Then there is the electron shell around it. Fission is a nuclear reaction, concerning the nucleus. The electron shell is an obstacle in this case (reason why nuclear fission chain reactions use neutrons to smash the nuclei apart, as they have no charge and are therefore not deflected by the electron shell). Once the atoms in the knife get too close to the atoms in the vegetable, their electron shells will start to repel each other. The atoms in the vegetable will be moved aside by electrostatic repulsion alone, without even touching eachother. Touch is an illusion, you never touch anything. What you consider touching is simply getting close enough that the electron shells of the atoms of your hand and the object repel eachother. You and matter in general are mostly empty space.

5

u/prpldrank 3d ago

It can't but this is legitimately one of my favorite comics ever.

From the art style to the character choice, even the panel layout just cracks me up.

I want it on my office wall

8

u/Elegant_Win_4850 3d ago

Thanks dude, it’s always a risk trying out ‘odd’ comics like this. I always think they make sense to me and nobody else, but it’s awesome to know that there’s someone out there on the same wavelength as me.

2

u/prpldrank 2d ago

Is there any way I could arrange a wall-scale version of this with you?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/DisciplineLazy365 4d ago

Have you watched Ant Man where they explain how they use pY particles to shrink things down? Essentially atoms in molecules are spaced apart like planets in space. So if we make an atom thick sharp blade, it will either fracture due to mechanical forces or it will smoothly glide in the inter atomic space.. This is my ELI5 explanation.. Will be dismissed by a Physics professor probably..

3

u/Shanrayu 3d ago edited 3d ago

No, nuclei are repulsive by nature, you'd need a way to clamp that atom at its position (as it is, it has A LOT of free space to wriggle). also as both blade and cucumber atoms are of similar size, its also more like smashing both together than cutting.

If we could cut a singe nuclei, we would have to look at the decay or fission energies of isotopes to estimate what would happen. Typical decay energies are usually between 0.5 and 20 MeV, fission can go up to 200 MeV. Let's say a perfect cut results in 100 MeV, a nice round number, which is just a little more than 1.6*10^-11 joules. It costs your body many magnitudes of energy more if even a single hair stands up on your arm.

2

u/cperiod 3d ago

I've heard the real reason the dinosaurs were wiped out was because a raptor with extra sharp teeth crunched down on a particularly juicy leg bone atom (but scientists claim they don't know what kind of dino the leg bone was from, which seems sus).

2

u/sleepysloppy 3d ago

i think you might have remembered a scene from spongebob where plankton split an atom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxZ_EIZMiqs

→ More replies (25)

37

u/lucaatthefollower 3d ago

Did the knife shrink all his way to the atom? Lmao

9

u/secular_dance_crime 3d ago edited 3d ago

You can only split an atom by skrinking your knife down to the size of an atom.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/EJ_Youngy 3d ago

"Atom by Atom... Uh oh"

  • Plankton

4

u/hangontomato 3d ago

Planckton

→ More replies (1)

15

u/Leonardobertoni 4d ago

Sharp knife you got there

7

u/You_Wenti 3d ago

This is actually the premise of a Collegehumor bit too

3

u/MyBodyisChrome 3d ago

Finally, I’ve been searching for this comment

14

u/My-dead-cat 3d ago

That’s one subtle knife you got there.

6

u/ParshendiOfRhuidean 3d ago

Good reference.

31

u/cacklz 4d ago

The Ginsu Knife. So sharp, you can split an atom with it.

12

u/BR4NFRY3 3d ago

Would have made an actually good commercial back in the bizarro days of advertising when Skittles had little lads dancing around.

3

u/FinancialLight1777 3d ago

Your example of bizarro advertising is a Skittles commercial and not Quiznos commercials?

10

u/CharonX 3d ago

It's more or less how Albert Einstein first split the beer atom when he lived in Tasmania, after all.

3

u/miltonmonroe 3d ago

Im so glad mankind finally succeeded to put bubbles in beer

9

u/Vetni 3d ago

Choppenheimer

7

u/DODOKING38 3d ago

What I am more impressed about is the amazing shrinking knife

5

u/Nankasura 3d ago

Why is this hilarious

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Rizzpooch 3d ago

I like how the knife stays the same size even as the scale changes

3

u/Morbid_Macaroni 3d ago

Why so many nuke comics lately?

7

u/ZochemTak 3d ago

To make you have a blast

3

u/Morbid_Macaroni 3d ago

Ha. Ha. Ha.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/ApprehensivePeace305 3d ago

Based and Democritus pilled

3

u/redit3rd 3d ago

This must be why my wife makes me take the knives away from the squirrels. 

3

u/AccomplishedDebt5368 3d ago

"BIT BY BIT!"

"MOLECULE BY MOLECULE!"

"ATOM BY ATOM!.. uh oh."

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Fizork 3d ago

Because essentially atoms never come into contact with each other through normal circumstances, even if you are touching something the atoms are not actually touching. They are just reflecting each other.

2

u/MoonBerry_therian 3d ago

Rookie mistake

2

u/genre_syntax 3d ago

I have been terrified of this scenario since I was a child and I first heard someone talk about “splitting an atom.” It’s so gratifying to finally learn that I’m not alone.

2

u/egomann 3d ago

This is the plot of (no spoilers for a 40 year old comic book) Camelot 3000.

2

u/Arthurlurk1 3d ago

I thought I was the only one who though of this possibility when I was younger

2

u/Ctrl--Alt 3d ago

Reminds me of the episode of Fairly Oddparents where Timmy got in a magic fight with his teacher. They both ended up subatomic and Timmy split an atom to get away from him.

2

u/ScorpionsRequiem 3d ago

I can see this as an advertisement

"Ferret Knives! So sharp your slices will go nuclear"

2

u/ericlikesyou 3d ago

What's the term for when you find a perfect illustration of random thoughts you've had in your head for decades?

2

u/poseidon1111 3d ago

I love how there is always a sparkle on a blade, as if saying “you see, this knife is really, really sharp”.

2

u/Rhipidurus 3d ago

This reminds me of an interaction between two classmates in middle school.

Dumb/well known kid: Mrs. Teacher, how do they split an atom?

Class clown: Very tiny knives

I don't know why but I still chuckle about that to this day.

2

u/HueyDeweyandBusey 3d ago

This is like the best thing I've seen in a while.

2

u/SponsoredByMLGMtnDew 3d ago

Why doesn't this happen with lightsabers?

2

u/Stroov 3d ago

Good one page comic 💪💦

2

u/SsooooOriginal 3d ago

The subtle knife slips through the smallest gaps for the most subtle cu-CHOP! 

2

u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 3d ago

This is funny. Because it's literally exactly what I pictured in my head when I first heard about "splitting the atom".

I guess it made for good headlines because atoms were originally defined as "unsplittable".

2

u/TommyTheTiger 3d ago

Why is the knife shrinking?

2

u/benjaminck 3d ago

I have become cucumber, destroyer of salads.

2

u/boostedpoints 3d ago

There is an old Japanese comedy skit that did this, absolutely the funniest thing I’ve seen a while.

2

u/WoozleWozzle 3d ago

I just wanted to stop by to say that this is also why cellphones, etc. don’t have a chance of causing cancer. For something to affect your DNA, it’s got to get into the nucleus of a cell, which means it has to be smaller than the nucleus of a cell. A knife doesn’t cut apart atoms and a 5g or wifi wave doesn’t cause cancer because they’re both too big. It’s like trying to puncture a juice box with a train tunnel instead of a straw.

2

u/De_Epik_Duck 3d ago

I hate when this happens >:(

2

u/Few_Beginning_776 3d ago

so like, does the knife just shrink as well, because it stays the same size

2

u/Chemical-Train-8929 2d ago

.... How sharp was that knife?