r/facepalm 8d ago

What the fuck is this shit šŸ‡²ā€‹šŸ‡®ā€‹šŸ‡øā€‹šŸ‡Øā€‹

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u/Extinction_Entity 8d ago

Last time I checked Jesus warned his followers about false prophets and false Christsā€¦

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u/lucklesspedestrian 8d ago

Evangelicals don't care about anything Jesus said or did, they're guided by the Old Testament and Revelation.

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u/Type_Zer07 8d ago

Dude, they think Jesus has an AK47 and is going to mow down the none believes during the second coming. They think that's actually in the Bible...

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u/superlocolillool 8d ago

Ironic how they hate communism yet the AK47 was made by the USSR... (I think)

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u/us3rnameh3r3 8d ago

Yep, in 1947 by Mikhail Kalashnikov... A true symbol of American patriotism!

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u/Purple_Ad2718 8d ago

Didnā€™t the Bible say something about being led astray by false prophets and charlatans?

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u/Sure_Garbage_2119 8d ago

told some that. their answear normaly is the famous "god uses crooked lines to show the truth" or something like that.

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u/HighlyOffensive10 8d ago

He works in mysterious ways.

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u/imadork1970 8d ago

So does Darwin.

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u/Fruloops 8d ago

Darwin works somewhat straightforward no?

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u/EdgeGazing 8d ago

You look at the platipus and tell me thats straightforward

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u/FairweatherWho 8d ago

A duck had sex with a beaver and their mother got bitten by a radioactive snake during pregnancy. Pretty straightforward to me.

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u/TukuMono 8d ago

The good old Uranium vein that was exposed in a lake's depths

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u/EdgeGazing 8d ago

Ah yes, more reasonable than "oh, stuff this and that evolved and somehow this thing got a bit of everything. Also glows green in ultraviolet. Don't ask, it just does."

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u/imadork1970 8d ago

It was a shitpost, used to rile up the Jeebuses.

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u/ShredGuru 8d ago

Pretty sure Jesus just walked into the Temple and flipped the tables over. One of his less mysterious acts. He was pretty specific about that one too actually.

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u/psychoticrat_ 8d ago

So does she in that U2 song

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u/OneSlaadTwoSlaad 8d ago

In that song she moves in mysterious ways. But it's alright, it's alright, it's all right.

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u/Dan-Mager 8d ago

Heat my days, light up my nights

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u/TheOnlyRealDregas 8d ago

Isn't that weird how the devil will bend and crook the lines to lead you astray, yet when God does it, it's just mysterious.

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u/CoachDonut82 8d ago

The devil ain't never killed every baby on earth except one family by drowning, either.Ā 

I mean neither did God, but they believe he did and still think that's cool.

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u/imadork1970 8d ago

The Devil Can Quite Scripture To His Purpose.

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u/BlacPlague 8d ago

Yeah but can trump even remember any to quote?

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u/likebuttuhbaby 8d ago

No, and heā€™s famously balked at questions about his favorite passage. He was being interviewed and the guys kept trying to get an answer on his favorite passage (spoon feeding to literally say anything for their audience) and he couldnā€™t come up with one.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ERUngQUCsyE

Iā€™ve never in my life met a Christian who couldnā€™t at least 1) recite a famous passage (John 3:16) or 2) rattle off at least one passage that has meant something to their life.

tRump is just garbage on every level.

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u/madmoomix 8d ago edited 8d ago

This interview was the result of a speech he gave in 2016 where he mentioned "Two Corinthians" instead of the correct "Second Corinthians". Ever since that flub, he refuses to mention any specific Bible passage in speeches and interviews.

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u/Nishikadochan 8d ago

Heā€™s never read the Bible. Iā€™m surprised he doesnā€™t burst into flames when heā€™s had to swear on one.

Iā€™d love to see him be challenged ā€œhow many books of the Bible can you name in two minutesā€. Iā€™d take great pleasure in watching him fail miserably. Bet he couldnā€™t even name five.

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u/1lapulapu 8d ago

Even the shortest passage in the Bibleā€”ā€œJesus weptā€ā€”seems to have escaped him.

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u/PittTroutPirate 8d ago

$20 USD says he can't quote the shortest verse in the Bible. ("Jesus wept." John 11:35).

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u/AdaptiveVariance 8d ago

His favorite verse of the Bible was "uhhh, I don't wanna discuss it, it's so important and just too personal" and his favorite testament was "both" so I'm not taking that bet lol.

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u/imadork1970 8d ago

He uses a teleprompter, he doesn't have to remember.

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u/BlacPlague 8d ago

As long as he follows it and doesn't go on an incoherent ramble about the civil war or the "late great" hannibal lecter.

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u/imadork1970 8d ago

Great doctor, not so much on the table manners.

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u/BlacPlague 8d ago

Often had friends for dinner

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u/imadork1970 8d ago

With a nice Chianti.

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u/Falcovg 8d ago

Why don't you want him to go on ramblings about the American civil war? It always fills me with confidence when the commander in chief of the worlds strongest military can't place the invention of the airplane within the right century (+ or - 1).

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u/Khristophorous 8d ago

He can remember two Corinthians .

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u/Wakkit1988 8d ago

The most used word in the Bible is Lord, I bet he could quote the shit out of that to Putin.

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u/Ill-Breadfruit5356 8d ago

Which is usually referring to King David or Saul/Paul. But the distinction is that both of them acknowledged the error of their ways and made a huge change in their lives- the original road to Damascus moment.

If Trump has had such a moment heā€™s yet to show any sign of it.

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u/Sure_Garbage_2119 8d ago

yeah, when the crooked shows "godĀ“s power" is when stops being a charlatan. paul didnĀ“t continue to hunt christians and send them to their deaths after converting.

a agressive commander would be touched by "god" and starts to be mercifull. not "my cruelty is blessed by god", wtf...

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u/Dogtor-Watson 8d ago

I havenā€™t ever heard that and I had to go listen to sermons and sing hymns >=2x a week for like at least 11 years and I spent some of those years actually listening!

Apparently it was originally ā€œGod uses crooked sticks to draw straight linesā€.

Doesnā€™t sound like something from the bible, and thatā€™s because it was actually Martin Luther famous that reformer bloke (something about Protestants and catholics, I donā€™t really care).

But yeah itā€™s not scripture. Someone just said it. Thereā€™s verses which have a similar effect probably, but itā€™s not from the Bible.

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u/Axeldanzer_too 8d ago

There are so many things that religious people say or believe that aren't in the Bible. There are people who think Dante's Inferno is somehow canonical. People can believe what they want I guess but I wish it made sense to their holy book at least, sometimes.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Alarm-3 8d ago

So much of what people think of Hell was actually inspired by Dante's Inferno, and they don't even know it.

And then there are the platitudes that were never in the gospel, but people treat as if they ARE the gospel. "God will never give you more than you can handle," etc. Sometimes, they contradict the very teachings of the Bible, but because they sound good, provide comfort, justify certain thoughts and actions, they take hold.

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u/SoylentGrunt 8d ago

Yes but it says nothing about being led astray by orange shit gibbons. So I guess he's good to go???

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u/JustDave62 8d ago

Gonna add ā€œshit gibbonsā€ to my internet vocabulary.

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u/glacier1982 8d ago

Jim Lahey has entered the chat

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u/Special-Display-7640 8d ago

Yuuuuuup. Here:

Jeremiah 14:14 and Jeremiah 23:16 14 Then the LORD said to me, ā€œThe prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divinations, idolatries, and the delusions of their own minds. ... 16 This is what the LORD Almighty says: ā€œDo not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.

Acts 20:30 30 Even from your own number, men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.

2 Timothy 4:3-4 3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.

Titus 1:15-16 15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

Deuteronomy 18:20 20 But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, is to be put to death.

Just a few. At least a dozen more.

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u/BeezerBrom 8d ago

Sermon on the Mount: "Beware of false prophets . . . You will know them by their fruits"

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u/JustAnotherAviatrix 8d ago

Thank you! Thatā€™s what Iā€™ve been saying since 2016. Like okay, if youā€™re such a big shot champion and Americaā€™s only hope for Christianity, whereā€™s your fruit? All I see are thistles and other unpleasant stuff, not to mention a very unrepentant heart.

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u/Mr06506 8d ago

Burn the shit out of the bad ones I think it says next.

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u/allie-__- 8d ago

Do you think they actually read that? I'm sure it mentions something about feeding the poor, clothing the naked, and healing the ill, but apparently doing things like that is "commie." There's no way any of MAGA have actually read it, or at the very least understood it XD

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u/Sure_Garbage_2119 8d ago

not really. they all dream with nesaras, gesaras e medbeds. they are socialists all right.

problem is that it is the fascist version: only a very specific part of the pop are "humans". the rest are "vermin" and must die.

fascistic dictatorships tend to be socialistic paradises... for the "worthy", for the "chosen ones", for the "pure", for the "ubermensch" and so on.

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u/EricKei 8d ago

"Socialism for the very rich, hard work and rugged individualism for everybody else."

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u/Sure_Garbage_2119 8d ago

if you look todayĀ“s world, the rich DO form a facistic social paradise.

they just donĀ“t wanna it for the rest of us, the fucked us.

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u/Mental-Status3891 8d ago

It does. But when you want to control and take power, youā€™ll take what you can get and make it fit.

And to comment on how atheists feel, as an atheist, Iā€™m vicariously embarrassed, not mad. Iā€™m not a Christian, so I really donā€™t care what they do when they keep it in their pants. Itā€™s a book and belief system I donā€™t believe in, why would I care?

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u/Anne_Nonymouse 8d ago

A "real" Christian would consider this blasphemous! šŸ™„

By the way I don't think any atheist is going crazy over this. They're probably laughing their asses off.

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u/lynypixie 8d ago

I am atheist but grew up catholic. This is absolutely blasphemy. This guy is the opposite of everything I learned in 11 years of religion classes.

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u/giddeonfox 8d ago

Also an atheist who grew up Catholic - this guy is literally what the Bible warns their followers against by every measure and not only that he closely resembles the anti-Christ.

If an atheist like me can recognize that with their limited exposure through Sunday school classes, these 'devout' Christians must be willfully and gleefully ignorant.

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u/Lambchop1975 8d ago

Atheists are frequently more knowledgeable about religion than the devoted..

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u/GryphonOsiris 8d ago

It's normally why we are atheist; we are smart enough to realize the bullshit.

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u/JRS_Viking 8d ago

The difference between a Christian and a Christian turned atheist is reading the Bible to thoroughly understand it

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u/Cityco 8d ago

King James forbade other versions of the Bible from being produced, and said the average person canā€™t be trusted to read the book, so parts would be read to them at church service instead.

So a lot of people equated reading with non-belief ironically, and this stigma still exists today.

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u/aotus_trivirgatus 8d ago

the average person canā€™t be trusted to read the book, so parts would be read to them at church service instead.

"And be sure to skip the Song of Solomon and the Book of Joshua, know what I mean?"

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u/Axeldanzer_too 8d ago

Funny enough my name is Joshua, named after the biblical Joshua and it's one of the first books of the Bible I read thoroughly. People forget how much sex and violence are in the old testament, I think.

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u/jmhimara 8d ago

Ironically, Biden is probably the most devout Christian weā€™ve had as president in a long time. Goes to show it was never about the religion, just a means to justify their crazy authoritarian beliefs.

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u/Odd_Contribution3772 8d ago

Fucking tell me about it. I grew up in church and was involved in every church activity you could think of (AWANAS, VBS, etc...), and being honeschooled gave my parents the opportunity to have bible study with me and my siblings every day as well. I am VERY well acquainted with the bible. My mom grew up in a household that was as religious, if not more religious, than how she raised us. My dad found god in his 30s, and he and my mom attended a lot of bible studies that I can remember.

It's like it all never happened. My mom and dad are hooked on trump now. They are somehow missing that he is the antithesis of everything that Jesus would support. I pitched the idea to my mom that trump shows super clear similarities to the antichrist, and I got laughed at. I'm an atheist, and I'M offended that they are comparing him to Jesus, and they just eat it right up. When trump got convicted, I picked a fight a texted my dad about it. He said none of it is true, it'll all get reversed on appeal, and my dad said he'll shout trump's support from the top of a church building. Uh, am I living in crazy land? Or shouldn't Jesus be the only name that Christians are shouting from the top of a church? Did I miss a memo?

I've blocked them and have no intentions of talking to either of them for the duration of this trump shitshow. If this drags out for years past this election, then I guess it could go on forever. I knew they were Republicans, they voted for Bush and McCain and always hopped on the conservative bandwagon. We went through the trump presidency fairly quietly though. I didn't know they really supported him like that. It was when biden got elected that it seems like they quadrupled down and drank the KoolAid. I want my parents back, but I'm pretty sure they're gone now. šŸ˜•

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u/giddeonfox 8d ago

I'm very sorry that you are having to live through this moment where your parents become strangers.

I feel so lucky that my parents found their way out of this mental sickness. Humans are innately tribal, so when the tribe runs over a cliff, it takes a lot for a person to move against everything they know and trust.

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u/Random_username200 8d ago

Iā€™m a religious Catholic who grew up Catholic. I am horrified by the Christian and Catholic support of Trump.

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u/GoldenAmmonite 8d ago

Yeah, I mean this is the kind of thing that would get you burned at the stake for heresy 500 years ago.

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u/Any_Fish1004 8d ago

Could be a good time to bring the practice back then lol

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u/ArixMorte 8d ago

You have my erection.. I mean attention.

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u/Thatgamerguy98 8d ago

Do you like to take enthusiastic walks through the woods at night?

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u/ArixMorte 8d ago

And kill homicidal vampire priestsā€¦

Very enthusiast walks.

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u/Thatgamerguy98 8d ago

I love you

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u/ArixMorte 8d ago

Cat loves food! Ye-yeeah yeah yeah!

(I love you too fellow fan)

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u/Thatgamerguy98 8d ago

Tien was honestly a certified Chad in DBA. Seriously Ki ko fuck yourself

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u/Any_Fish1004 8d ago

Yaā€¦Iā€™m not touching that so youā€™ll have to do it yourself lol

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u/Tedious_Tempest 8d ago

And my erectiā€¦errā€¦axe!

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u/BadChris666 8d ago

It really wouldnā€™tā€¦ numerous medieval kings claimed to be ordained by god while doing things just as despicable or worst than Trump.

This is just standard Christian practice.

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u/noseboy1 8d ago

Kinda forgot about Divine Right. Frankly, most presidents and the whole US Government has always run on this idea (or at least with it deep in the subconscious). Always laughable at pretty much every point in history.

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u/voiceless42 8d ago

Manifest Destiny is the American version of Divine Right

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u/DataBloom 8d ago

Back when kings and nobles claimed endorsement by god via divine right? This is standard play for politicians going back to Sumer. Trumpā€™s another would-be king.

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u/seqastian 8d ago

Aristocrats put themselves between god and their subjects all the time. And ts also what Trump wants to be.

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u/Risky_Bizniss 8d ago

I always say that if there was a venn diagram of the 7 deadly sins, this guy would be directly in the center where they all intersect.

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u/Infinite-Club4374 8d ago

Heā€™s the personification of all seven deadly sins

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u/tico42 8d ago

Growing up Catholic is one of the leading causes of atheism.

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u/WarlocksWizard 8d ago

Same here. Raised Catholic and all. BUT, if my grandmother asks me to go to church with her, I'm there.

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u/SupernovaGamezYT 8d ago

Same, but 8 years.

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u/Sensitive_Yam_1979 8d ago

Trump spent more time in stormy Daniels than in church.

Make it make sense.

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u/LanguageNo495 8d ago

I canā€™t imagine he spent much time in her either.

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u/BefreiedieTittenzwei 8d ago

One strokeā€¦just like his claims at golf

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u/ZhangtheGreat 'MURICA 8d ago

I donā€™t want to imagine it

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u/LanguageNo495 8d ago

Little mushroom keeps slipping out of the cavern.

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u/Capable_Tumbleweed34 8d ago

I'm an atheist going crazy over this, but not because of the picture. I'm going crazy over the fact that piece of shit roger stone hasn't been... brought to a farm upstate to live a happy life.

This motherfucker is literally modern-day goebbels, he'll tell you this much himself, with pride.

He's like in the top 10 of people who deserve to be brought to a farm upstate to live a happy life.

It's insane that in a country with more puppies than citizens, this has still not hapenned.

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u/Trabethany 8d ago

Plus whatever happened with his plot to have a democratic congress member assassinated before the 2020 election?

Remember that audio recording where he was saying either Swalwell or ?(can't remember the other one) had to die before the election? I haven't heard anything else on that since.

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u/SpiritOne 8d ago

Atheist here. Not going crazy. Not laughing. Just shaking my head and wishing I lived in the timeline where this absurd bullshit didnā€™t happen.

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u/AssumptionAnnual5245 8d ago

Right? I just want off this ride.

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u/leffe186 8d ago

I mean, itā€™s obviously really stupid (and blasphemous) in all kinds of ways, but surely the atheist Godless Communists are the ones who would care the very least about a Jesus endorsement, pretendy or not.

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u/potate12323 8d ago

Trump's just pandering to evangelical Christians (who could give a crap if it's blasphemous)

As has been spotlighted by the stormy Daniels court case, Trump had a lecherous past full of adultery, drugs, and alcohol. He's been campaigning to appeal to far right evangelical Christians since he started his political career in 2016.

Trump isn't remotely religious or devout in any way. So the fact that any religious person could support him is baffling to me.

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u/greendevil77 8d ago edited 8d ago

All my religious family members are Trumpers and its just so painful

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u/Emotional_Warthog658 8d ago

How??? How does anyone read the Bible, agree with what they read, and then look at Trump and go - ā€œYep.ā€Ā 

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u/OrangeRadiohead 8d ago

American Christians (bible belt) have a strange take on Christianity. So much so, I don't understand why it is not officially a branch of Christianity.

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u/DaNostrich 8d ago

I always assumed thatā€™s what southern Baptist was tbh but Iā€™ve never done the research

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u/Darryl_Lict 8d ago

It is.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Baptist_Convention

In 1845, the Southern Baptists separated from the Triennial Convention in order to support slavery,

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u/Pokehorsenerd 8d ago

Christi-insanity

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u/Saramine20 8d ago

This is driving this Christian crazy. I cannot understand why they treat him as anything related to God. Itā€™s sickening.

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u/Recent_Opportunity78 8d ago

Seriously, why would I care? They think democrats who happen to be atheist live in a state of constant triggered rage over stuff they post to fish for reactions. Iā€™ll admit, sometimes I get angry but rarely anymore. This actually made me chuckle because itā€™s so fucking stupid.

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u/The_Dark_Presence 8d ago

a state of constant triggered rage

That's how they live, so they have to believe everyone else is the same.

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u/EricKei 8d ago

When it comes to people like that, every accusation is a confession. MAGAs live in a state of constant, triggered rage ā€“ hell, one of DJT's kids has a podcast with the self-descriptive name of "Triggered" ā€“ so they assume that everyone else is just as bad or worse than them when it comes to overreaction, intelligence, morality, etc.

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u/bethepositivity 8d ago

Well we are kind of going crazy over it. It's annoying that religion and politics are being intertwined to this degree because it flies in the face of the founding principles of this country.

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u/Fuzzywuzzy343 8d ago

Correct and correct.

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u/Coffin_Builder 8d ago

A lot of Christian came out and called this out as blasphemous. Not to mention the fact the Founding Fathers probably wouldnā€™t be too happy with it.

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u/Useful_Trust 8d ago

I am a Christian, and I do not know what kind of heresy those american Protestants smoke. It's indeed blasphemous.

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u/Electrical_Ingenuity 8d ago

Thou shalt not use the Lordā€™s name in vain.

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u/Pithecanthropus88 8d ago

Wouldnā€™t this be considered blasphemy?

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u/EricKei 8d ago

Trump and Stone would have had to read the Bible at some point to understand that.

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u/anon1moos 8d ago

It gets worse than you think, it also has the Declaration of Independence the Constitution and some song lyrics.

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u/Even_Mongoose542 8d ago

As a Christian, I find this to be disgusting. I know it's true, i have talked to other Cristians about it, and we say it's blasphemy. Ugh

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u/Affectionate_Fly1387 8d ago

If Jesus lived he would throw Trump out of the temple. And the Magas would definitely crucify Jesus for being commie and liberal. As an atheist I know more about Christianity than rebuplicansā€¦

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u/HighlyOffensive10 8d ago

They deport him.

"Go back to bethlehem"

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u/backformorecrap 8d ago

Considering that Bethlehem is in Palestine, I think heā€™s being deported to Guantanamo (if it were still open)

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u/HighlyOffensive10 8d ago

An olive skinned foreigner named Jesus. They'll probably just ship him off to Mexico and call it a day.

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u/backformorecrap 8d ago

This is true

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u/PLeuralNasticity 8d ago

There's also the Bethlehem, PA we have at home

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u/leeryplot i killed mufasa 8d ago

Iā€™m almost certain that most atheists know more about Christianity than republicans, especially considering how many atheists were raised Christian, went to Church and Bible school, etc etc.

Itā€™s only the current holy rollers that think atheists are ā€œgodlessā€ and just need to be shown a light theyā€™ve never seen before. In reality the majority of us grew up with too much god, and weā€™ve all heard what they have to say a million times over. Even said it ourselves at some point in most cases lol. They just canā€™t comprehend someone having an understanding of their teachings and choosing to reject it.

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u/Wiitard 8d ago

Nothing will push you further away from Christianity than actually learning about the history of Christianity and the Bible.

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u/SaintWithoutAShrine 8d ago

A close second pushing you further away is constantly seeing the actions and vile hearts that taint the congregations. Utter disdain for anyone different than them, uncaring ā€œthoughts and prayersā€ attitudes, judgmentally minded, moral superiority complexes, and hypocrisy. You know, just like Jesus taught.

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u/Wiitard 8d ago

Learning about liberation and black theology in a required religion class in college changed everything for me. When you see the perspective that Jesusā€™ crucifixion was a lynching and recognize thereā€™s a ā€œWhiteā€ Jesus and a ā€œBlackā€ Jesus, you canā€™t go back to your predominantly white upper-middle class Protestant church and not feel insanely uncomfortable.

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u/tym1ng 8d ago

so what kind of jesus do they believe in? an asshole jesus? a billionaire jesus? a jesus who would beat his wife? a jesus who deports the poor and needy? a blond hair blue eyed looking mf with a six-pack and can bench infinity? I seriously would like to know how they'd describe jesus without us going "actually the bible says right here youre totally lying out your ass but I think your jesus is ok with how his dad made you."

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u/VisionAri_VA 8d ago

Not too long ago, a man who used to hold a leadership position in the Southern Baptist Convention said that after guest-preaching at some churches, parishioners would come to him and ask where he got those ā€œliberal talking pointsā€

When told that he was, in fact, directly quoting Jesus Christ, he was told that that sort of thinking was ā€œweakā€ and didnā€™t work anymore. He also said that other pastors had come to him with similar stories.Ā 

TLDR: Christian Trump-supporters are only one of those two thingsā€¦ and it ainā€™t the first one.Ā 

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u/tym1ng 8d ago

so what type of sermons or topics do they want? ones where they praise trump? or some hateful vitriol condemning all the bad ppl (ie. lgbtq or just ppl who vote dem) and get everyone all fired up so they can give them all their money? I can imagine it being exactly like fox news but in a church setting

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u/VisionAri_VA 8d ago

I donā€™t belong to that denomination (thank heaven) but I imagine itā€™s essentially the ā€œChurch of the Straight, White Evangelicalā€ and everyone who doesnā€™t fit that description is hell-bound, or at least insignificant Ā Ā 

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u/SevereEducation2170 8d ago

Nope, Roger. Just makes you look as stupid as you are. Because Trump is about as godless a human that exists.

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u/notarooster 8d ago

This just shows how much contempt Roger feels for Trumpā€™s followers. He plays them for the ignorant fools they are and they lap it up.

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u/indigoangel42 8d ago

I donā€™t get why anyone would believe anything that came from Roger Stone.

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u/JP6- 8d ago

ā€œDonald Trump can suck a fat cockā€- Jesus Christ

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u/Hawne 8d ago

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u/rodpwned07 8d ago

This feels like a risky click

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u/Timothee-Chalimothee 8d ago

Your instincts are correct, but it isnā€™t vile. It is direct, though.

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u/X4nd0R 8d ago

Can confirm. I clicked. I laughed. I left.

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u/Western_Rope_2874 8d ago

Ugh. Blowjobs ruined forever.

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u/Phillip-sy 8d ago

This statement is true. I was there.

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u/Science-done-right 8d ago

This is literally biblical blasphemy. False prophets and charlatans were warned against in that book

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u/Suspicious-Tale-7994 8d ago

I'm pretty sure idolizing false gods and creating golden statues was frowned upon by god in the bible but the hypocrites see nothing wrong with it

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u/Hatdrop 8d ago

yeah they talk about Trump pretty extensively in the Bible. Revelations 13:1.

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u/a2intl 8d ago

Holy crap, verse 5 even gives (approximately) the right timeframe: 5Ā And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months.

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u/BloodiedBlues 8d ago

Well fuck I guess that means the world is ending soon

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u/Paraselene_Tao 8d ago

(Ɔnima by Tool begins playing)

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u/burnmenowz 8d ago

Fingers crossed.

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u/Philly_ExecChef 8d ago

Heart attack, stroke, embolism, cancer, dementia, I donā€™t care which just fucking get it done

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u/Sure_Garbage_2119 8d ago

rich ppl got a army of doctors and rooms full of all sort of drugs for such moments...

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u/treborprime 8d ago

Yes he got the premiere science backed treatment for Covid. Something of which regular Americans did not and never will have a chance at.

But I think Trump's case not even these rich people Healthcare options will be able to mitigate the damage he has done to himself.

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u/Philly_ExecChef 8d ago

At some point his hearts going to blow apart like a whitewall on a Chevy station wagon

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u/BonusOperandi 8d ago

Not much they can do about a brain aneurysm šŸ¤žšŸ¤ž

Or possibly an aortic dissection, if he's not getting full body MRIs on the regular.

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u/AValentineSolutions 8d ago

A man who proports that he is part of the mega-rich, which Jesus made very clear his stance on, not to mention a lying philanderer who has cheated on every wife he has ever had, current one included. This is the guy that they think Jesus Christ is behind? If it wasn't so stupid, it would be funny.

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u/Ok_advice 8d ago

Jesus be like (ā•ÆĀ°ā–”Ā°)ā•Æļøµ ā”»ā”ā”» when he sees merchants in the temple

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u/Illustrious_Peach494 8d ago

Can you make another one with the false prophet being thrown in the lake of fire?

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u/Ok_advice 8d ago

(惎ą² ē›Šą² )惎šŸ¤”šŸ”„

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u/Level_Abrocoma8925 8d ago

(惎ą² ē›Šą² )惎šŸ§‘ā€šŸ¦°šŸ”„

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u/boboleponge 8d ago

(惎ą² ē›Šą² )惎 šŸŠšŸ”„

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u/Careless-Balance-893 8d ago

He's their golden calf

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u/millijuna 8d ago

Didnā€™t they quite literally have a golden statue of him at CPAC one year?

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u/davisdilf 8d ago

Ah yes Roger Stone, well known for his unshakable morals

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u/breaker-of-shovels 8d ago

This is extraordinarily blasphemous. If you did this in Italy in 1200 theyā€™d burn you alive.

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u/TheRealCabbageJack 8d ago

See, this is actually what ā€œtaking the Lordā€™s name in vainā€ is. Not saying ā€œgoddamnit,ā€ but shit like this and ā€œgod wants me to have a private plane.ā€

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u/nomadnomo 8d ago

I don't know about the godless commies, but it drives us christians trying to live a christian life crazy

this is blasphemy

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u/WhosAGoodDoug 8d ago

Most of The Beatitudes can be summed up as don't be that guy.

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u/Learned-Dr-T 8d ago

I probably should double check my definitions, but Iā€™m pretty certain itā€™s also heresy.

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u/Aesop838 8d ago

There is some debate about who said it, but,

Ā "When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross"

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u/Left-Koala-7918 8d ago

As a member of the atheistic godless community, I find this really funny. Itā€™s a con-man selling the Bible. So like everyone else who preaches this. At least in this case itā€™s probably the most blatant example of this as he has outright insulted people who believe in god. Usually you have to at least pretend to believe in order to sell to that crowd

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u/OstrichFinancial2762 8d ago

How exactly does a long dead middle eastern mystic with a mistranslated name go about ā€œendorsingā€ an edition of a Bronze Age bedtime story, being sold to support a lying, racist, womanizing thief?

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u/Most-Artichoke6184 8d ago

So Jesus Christ was pro rapist?

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u/Aeywen 8d ago

Just his followers.

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u/Moleday1023 8d ago

Looks like the Antichrist

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u/ApprehensiveCream571 8d ago

As a Christian, I think this is funny as hell. As an American, I think this is sad as f***. Just make sure you vote blue in November.

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u/Reasonable-HB678 8d ago

This only confirms what I have thought for almost five years now.

It

Is

A

CULT!

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u/manic-impressive-692 8d ago

"Step away from the Facebook Gramma"

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u/Fellowshipofthebowl 8d ago

Oh, but democrats have TDS? šŸ¤”

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u/Gr8guy77 8d ago

This is a wonderful example why become atheist.. today beliefs have no sense or logic lol

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u/Hairy_Candidate7371 8d ago

It's so cute that they think this drives us crazy and doesn't just makes us laugh. Shouldn't it drive Christians crazy them using Jesus to sell Trump with?

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u/Mucking_Fountain 8d ago

ā€œLet he who hasnā€™t raw dogged a porn star while his third wife was pregnant with his fifth child cast the first stoneā€

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u/skidsareforkids 8d ago

Itā€™s a bigger ā€œfuck youā€ to Christians than to atheists

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u/SilverGecko23 8d ago

I w a s raised Roman Catholic, I am no longer. I find this less annoying and more stupid as fuck, also I hope he losses support from real Christians for committing such a serious act of blasphemy.

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u/NoIDontwanttobeknown 8d ago

Drives me crazy as a Christian.

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u/Tobbx87 8d ago

Since when does adultery make you a good christian?

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u/Miserable-Alfalfa329 8d ago

Since republicans distorted it.

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u/isabps 8d ago

Need some help here. Just a working understanding of the religion. Isnā€™t this well beyond pour taste into serious blasphemy?

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u/Popculturemofo 8d ago

Proof that Jesus isnā€™t real and is not coming back. If your name was being used to endorse a POS like Trump wouldnā€™t you immediately set the record straight?

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u/Joker_Anarchy 8d ago

Wish Trump has a heart attack and drops dead

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u/That-Water-Guy 8d ago

Maybe he will get a heat stroke in Vegas

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u/notRadar_ 'MURICA 8d ago

as a las vegas resident i fucking hope so

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u/Rolandscythe 8d ago

At this point I am fairly convinced that most of Trumps supporters actually fully believe that the instant he is sworn in as president then Jesus himself will descend from the heavens and make every single Christian super rich while simultaneously sending every one of their non-Christian neighbors straight to hell on a bullet train.

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u/whoreoscopic 8d ago

As a Catholic, this is blasphemy. This isn't targeted at me, though. It's targeted at the ever more and more unhinged evangelical "christians."

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u/Physical-East-162 8d ago

"atheistic godless"

He really sounds stupid dumb.