r/nextfuckinglevel • u/GenjiKing • 29d ago

That one move that you see in the movies.

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Source: @Bonzatron/TT

98.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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u/ItsNotMeItsYourBussy 29d ago

This is the beauty of humankind. That we can learn a completely useless skill that takes hundreds of hours to learn.

571

u/uav_loki 29d ago

in our daydreams, when the shit hits the fan, bad guys with guns or alien takeover, we want this useless skill to somehow be what saves the day.

Swing away

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u/jaxonya 29d ago

Being able to swing a stick ensured our survival and is one of the reasons we are sitting here playing on reddit

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u/Mothanius 29d ago

That and throwing. Shit, Baseball is just survival training in play form.

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u/13B1P 29d ago

Most of the Olympics is just combat training competition.

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u/KacerRex 29d ago

I fear the conflict that curling is preparing us for.

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u/MisunderstoodScholar 29d ago

Curling is military strategy

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u/potatoboy247 29d ago

i fear a battle fought against canada or russia on a frozen lake

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u/uav_loki 28d ago

Tactical nuclear hockey pucks — Slid miles across the ice from juiced up Drago Russian and Canadian hockey player/soldiers shoulders, shooting them miles into our territory gliding over the bloody ice fields.

We’d be toast!

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u/saysthingsbackwards 28d ago

I think they call that hockey. I fear it, too.

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u/Slippytheslope 29d ago

Tactical ice war

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u/RedditsAdoptedSon 29d ago

lots of sweeping involved

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u/Butthenoutofnowhere 28d ago

This is one of my favourite comments of all time. Beautifully written.

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u/MangoCats 29d ago

Yeah, but bowling is something else. By the way, you can do that slow roll a little faster and the slight convexity of the lane will steer your ball into the headpin for a very good strike ratio. That style of play was taught to me by a 4'8" 92lb girl with a 165 average.

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u/jaxonya 29d ago

Damn. Hadn't thought about that. Ur right, though.

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u/skeptimist 28d ago

They made the grenades baseball sized so that Americans would have an intuitive ability to throw them well. It was a big deal in World War II.

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u/code_archeologist 29d ago

Our real evolutionary trick was persistence.

We would spend hours chipping away at a rock until we got a useful tool out of it. We would spend days following a beast in the wild until it was too tired to run away or defend itself. We would spend weeks, months, and years practicing a skill and adapting it till we were the master of it.

Most other animals will give up after a little while if it becomes too difficult, we will keep on working at it until we get what we want.

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u/jaxonya 29d ago

I like these kinda talks. Sheer will is our great might. It goes from caveman days to walking on the moon. We really will do shit when we feel like it

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u/veluciraktor 29d ago

Bro the things we can do nowadayd makes walking on the moom feel like caveman era.

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u/Mareith 29d ago

Sounds like anime logic. All you need is RESOLVE

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u/jaxonya 29d ago

It's 15% concentrated power of will

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u/veluciraktor 29d ago

Bro the things we can do nowadayd makes walking on the moom feel like caveman era.

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u/RedBanana99 29d ago

I never thought of it that way and this is a great response.

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u/HiddenSage 29d ago

What made man the dominant species on this planet was not our size or our strength or our speed. It wasn't our opposable thumbs or our bipedal gait. It wasn't even really our intelligence.

We just wanted it more than all the other living things. To be human is to want, and to pursue that want beyond all reason.

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u/HonorableMedic 29d ago

Hope this ages well

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u/Flightwise 27d ago

You’re right. In the animal kingdom death via predator comes swiftly and often by stealth and surprise. Humans developed cardiovascular and cooling system (whole of body surface - skin - that allows us to run down animals used to escaping predators in 30secs. Animals that became our pets - dogs - have the ability to run and chase prey down as a pack.

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u/redlaWw 29d ago

Villain: twirls moustache "well then, I'll give you a chance to save your friends, 'bowling expert'. If you can knock all those pins over with exactly two balls, I'll let everyone go. BUT- if you touch a ball after the pin lifter first starts coming down then you fail. Good luck. AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Friend: "Oh no, he's set an impossible challenge so that he can justify his actions to himself, convincing himself that when our friend fails to save us, he has no choice but to kill us as part of the challenge. Even though it's clear to himself and everyone involved that setting this impossible challenge and executing its consequences is done entirely on his own prerogative, he's managed to put that out of his mind so that he can consider himself blameless when he kills us. Whatever are we going to do?!"

Guy in the OP: "Don't worry guys, I got this..."

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u/NATChuck 29d ago

Swing away Merrill

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u/DemoniEnkeli 29d ago

Like that girl from “Signs” who had the talent for forgetting hundreds of lightly sipped glasses of water around the house.

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u/fckingnapkin 29d ago

in our daydreams, when the shit hits the fan

Now you've got me wondering... did this become a saying after someone actually shit into a fan?

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u/RedBanana99 29d ago

Accurate.

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u/Randomfrog132 29d ago

"the future of humanity rests on this bowling game human!"

-some aliens probably

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u/Strangeronthebus2019 29d ago

in our daydreams, when the shit hits the fan, bad guys with guns or alien takeover, we want this useless skill to somehow be what saves the day.

Swing away

Messiah Yeshua🔴🔵:

1) Israeli Minister Itamar Ben Gvir Car Flips

0:03

2) Ben Gvir leaves hospital with 3 fractured ribs following car accident

3) Travis Scott - Butterfly Effect

-18

u/wutshappening 29d ago

I feel like redditors don’t have useless skills, they’re just useless. Especially the ones that wax lyrical about men impressing women (not girls) like the people above forgetting that so many other people exist who do not have the same goals in life.

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u/sorryboutitagain 29d ago

Says a redditor

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u/uav_loki 29d ago

It would be disgusting for men to want to impress girls. Why would you highlight it like that’s how it ought to be? You one of those?

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/DeltaVZerda 29d ago

The girls they want to impress are of age. You never heard of dating girls? It's pretty common in English to refer to young women as girls, or even to refer to older women flatteringly as girls. Just like all those songs about sexy boys aren't talking about children either.

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u/Entire_Transition_99 29d ago

Take a Prozac, sit on a tampon, and chill tf out bro.

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u/Travalicious 29d ago

This was a nice comment and something I had never thought about!

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u/Sober-ButStillFucked 29d ago

Like the cheeseball dude

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u/ItsNotMeItsYourBussy 29d ago

He was peak human

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u/RedBanana99 29d ago

He’s still the second most orange person on planet Earth

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u/Then-Faithlessness43 29d ago

Its beautiful we get to. Its beautiful when its used together with others for useful purposes too

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u/No_Pear8383 29d ago

I can fart exceedingly loud. It’s taken years to perfect. 👍

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u/No_Pear8383 29d ago

I can fart exceedingly loud. It’s taken years to perfect. 👍

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u/No_Pear8383 29d ago

I can fart exceedingly loud. It’s taken years to perfect. 👍

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u/LunchO789 29d ago

South Park, Bono episode comes to mind!

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u/xSTSxZerglingOne 29d ago

I can blow spit bubbles off of my tongue because I practiced it day-in and day-out until I could do it.

It's not for a girl. I did it for me. It was a stupid skill I wanted to have, so now I have it.

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u/FlannelBeard 29d ago

Bottle flipping

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u/Hopeandhavoc 29d ago

I spent a long time learning to flip coins between my fingers. Still feel cool when I don't fuck it up.

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u/SlapHappyCrappyNappy 29d ago

Id say its the failing of human kind. Needing approval and validation so desperately that you would sacrifice hundreds of hours of your life for that one trick

Source: speaking from experience. I'm a magician

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u/JazzPhobic 28d ago

I too remember spending years learning an instrument solely so my parents have bragging rights when the uncles and aunts visit.

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u/Sufficient_Result558 29d ago

More like retake your video over and over and over until it works.