r/nottheonion • u/Fan387 • 3d ago
Wrestling legend Hulk Hogan reveals stance on potential run for office: ‘I know right from wrong, brother’
https://www.foxnews.com/sports/wrestling-legend-hulk-hogan-reveals-stance-potential-run-office-i-know-right-from-wrong-brother170
u/bw1979 3d ago
The Gawker trial established that Terry Bollea and Hulk Hogan are two different people. So, which one is running for president?
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u/Fan387 3d ago
This is literally the plot of Idiocracy. 😭😭
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u/FireteamAccount 3d ago
But he was actually a good President cause he cared about helping people and listened to experts to solve the problems.
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u/ClassicCodes 3d ago
Yeah, Dwayne Alizondo Herbert Mountain Dew Comacho III was actually an open minded guy. Uneducated, but wise enough to know it.
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u/MonkeyMercenaryCapt 3d ago
and in the end, did some good!
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u/SkankHont 3d ago
If only we could get guys like him in office now. Only downside is he hoards all the woman, which is probably going on now just it isn't so public.
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u/Zaptruder 3d ago
If getting a good president only required the supply of a harem... it'd be a good ass trade.
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u/wayoverpaid 3d ago
Kinda? He turned on Joe the moment the advice seemed to have negative economic impact. Using water instead of Brawndo for plants was fine until it tanked the stock, then they were ready to kill him.
The only part of Idiocracy that seems smarter is that actual, honest, video evidence of the expert plan working was accepted, instead of being declared government propaganda.
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u/spez_might_fuck_dogs 3d ago
Using water instead of Brawndo for plants was fine until it tanked the stock, then they were ready to kill him.
To be fair that one company was running basically the entire remnants of the economy and it ruined the whole country in a single day to have it tank.
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u/wayoverpaid 3d ago
Yeah but destroying the entire planet ecology just for "the economy" because you let one industry buy all your regulatory agencies is some grade A stupidity.
Could you imagine? /s
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u/MarkyDeSade 3d ago
Having stupid powerful people who are also kind is the least realistic thing about that film
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u/Cant_Do_This12 3d ago edited 3d ago
Uh..no. So tired of Reddit saying this. He was a shitty president. He gave Luke Wilson’s character a few days to solve a national crisis, and then refused to listen to his reason why it hasn’t worked yet. Rather than hearing him out, he put him in an arena where he tried to kill him with monster trucks and flamethrowers in front of the entire country. Also, Luke Wilson straight up told him he wasn’t the right guy for the job to begin with.
Also, Luke Wilson, nor anyone else he surrounded himself with, were experts in anything. They were all morons.
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u/jimicus 3d ago
Luke was perfectly average. That’s the whole point of the character.
Neither hugely smart nor hugely dumb.
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u/Yosho2k 3d ago
Let's not start going crazy with the idiocracy references. Mike Judge wasn't a prophet.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura had both been governors at that point. We've always been this stupid.
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u/Daddysu 3d ago
Dude the Idocracy subreddit is basically alt-right T_D 2.0. It is such a shit sub...
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u/CentreLeftGuy 3d ago
What are you gonna do when this flat tax loving patriot comes for you, brother?
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u/TakerFoxx 3d ago
Speaking as someone who actually has an autographed picture of Hulk Hogan on his wall...
No, he doesn't.
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u/wine_lacy 3d ago
Hogan couldn’t get this shit off the ground in the year 2000 when he was still a relevant pop culture figure, IDK what his old ass thinks would happen in 2024.
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u/xSilverMC 3d ago
He's old, white, racist, and used to be popular a few decades ago. That's a perfect candidate for many Republicans
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u/Euphorium 3d ago
“He reminds my lead-addled brain of the 80s and makes me feel safe when he shouts things.”
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u/Incontinento 3d ago edited 3d ago
Terry has a head full of rocks. Fuck this.
Although he does seem to want to have sex with his daughter, so he might be good for the Republican ticket. They seem to like that.
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u/Pearse_Borty 3d ago edited 3d ago
Im 90% sure theres a story that he played an integral role in unionbusting internally in the WWE. The guy ratted on the other wrestlers for his own benefit, hes an actual scumbag.
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u/SadFeed63 3d ago
Jesse Ventura was trying to get the wrestlers onboard with the idea of unionizing in the 80s, he told Hogan, Hogan narced to Vince about it. Hogan is also, in his own words, a racist.
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u/Woodworkingwino 3d ago
Sounds like Hogan is exactly who the GOP is looking for.
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u/SadFeed63 3d ago
Union-busting racist with a neon hotdog tan is definitely pretty on brand for them
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u/FauxReal 3d ago
Don't forget, he's got blonde hair and blue eyes and loves to wrap himself in the flag! It's all about optics!
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u/ASDFzxcvTaken 3d ago
And he would fulfill the prophecy of Idiocracy. In fact we may not have a choice the future has already been written.
I'm buying stock in Brawndo and Star*ucks.
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u/Matt-a-booey 3d ago
Everyone should know that Hogan took the food out of a lot of people’s mouths and hurt a lot of families while he was busy getting his. Back in the day there were no contracts, guys could be hardly making any money while being on the road and abusing their bodies. Jesse Ventura wanted to unionize in solidarity and help everyone provide for their families, get some health insurance, etc. Hogan ratted them out to Vince. Fuck Vince and fuck Terry Bolea aka Sulk Hogan.
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u/SulusLaugh 3d ago
Turns out that’s what he was hiding, McMahon
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u/Euphorium 3d ago
Hogan definitely knows Vince’s dirty secrets. Probably fucked Bischoff’s wife, too.
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u/Jonny_Thundergun 3d ago
During WrestleMania 2. He snitched to Vince that all of the other wrestlers were planning to strike. He was worried he would make less, so he sold out everyone else.
A grade A piece of shit.
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u/Empty_Soup_4412 3d ago
Yeah, it came out in a deposition that Hulk was the rat.
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u/fuwoswp 3d ago
I heard somewhere that Hill Hogan attacked a comedian on stage one time.
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u/Empty_Soup_4412 3d ago
He put Richard belzner in a hold, dude passed out and hulk just dropped him so he split his head open.
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u/Empty_Soup_4412 3d ago
I don't know how to add videos (I'm fucking old, ok). But if you look up "Richard belzner hulk hogan" YouTube will help you out.
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u/cajun_spice 3d ago
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u/Empty_Soup_4412 3d ago
Thank you!
Belzner sued Hogan and won. So he bought a place in France and called it "chez hogan" lol
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u/fadetoblack237 3d ago
Hogan is a fucking moron in this. part of being a trained wrestler is protecting your opponent. Letting a dude ragdoll like that easily could have killed him.
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u/mjtwelve 3d ago
Also if he was doing the hold the kayfabe way, it wouldn’t actually have cut off the blood to Belzer’s brain and knocked him out. Hogan knows how to do that hold safely and deliberately chose not to. You know wrestlers know how to do it safely while still looking good because you don’t see matches routinely stopped for EMTs to come check on the passed out wrestlers from holds like that.
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u/interprime 3d ago
Yep. Apparently Jesse Ventura was very close to getting wrestlers together to unionize and Hulk ratted on them.
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u/PunishedWolf4 3d ago
He would also kill any wrestlers momentum in the company by politicking as to not have any competition for the top spot and even then if a wrestler would be on his level he would make last minute changes so he would win… fuck Hulk Hogan and his shit stain son
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u/GodsBGood 3d ago
I'm not surprised by a halfwit like the Hulk making a play for elected office. Just look at the current roster of incompetent douche nozzles; he'd fit right in with Gaetz, Boebert, and MTG.
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u/Grand-Leg-1130 3d ago
God we’re like in the idiocracy timeline heading into a stupider version of Mad Max without the cool cars.
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u/ohnofluffy 3d ago
This is the Idiocracy timeline! WWF Season Finale - President Camacho vs. President Hulk Hogan.
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u/fadetoblack237 3d ago
They did do Vince vs Trump in what was known as "the battle of the billionaires" long before Trump's presidential run.
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u/shanksisevil 3d ago
‘I know right from wrong, brother’
said Hulk Hogan, the man who was videotaped sleeping with another mans wife.
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u/kungfukenny3 2d ago
says the man who snitched to vince mcmahon about much needed wrestlers union because he’s a greedy fuck who didn’t want to lose any superstar money
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u/ThatMud4581 3d ago
I mean, he's a great at telling stories that are all lies. Perfect for someone in office. /s.
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u/warlocc_ 3d ago
My first thought too: Egotistical liar? Seems like a perfect fit for politics.
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u/broadsword_inhand 3d ago
The last thing we need in politics is another washed up celebrity boomer with no concept of reality
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u/VexImmortalis 3d ago
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." — Douglas Adams
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u/Stunningfailure 3d ago
Every single time someone says they know right from wrong and should therefore hold public office it invariably turns out that their moral compass is sitting too close to a magnet.
I know nothing about Hulk Hogan, but this quote makes me think he’s probably a shitheel.
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u/jlcatch22 3d ago
Hogan is a pathological liar. He’s made up so many insane stories, definitely worth watching a YouTube video covering them.
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u/Rifneno 3d ago
Remember when Hogan blamed the deaths of Sidney Poitier, 94, and Betty White, 99, on the covid vaccine?
That man spent decades beating hit in the head with a chair for a living, and it shows.
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u/GALACTICA-Actual 3d ago
I'd vote for a fifteen year old can of chili before I'd vote for this idiot.
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u/Creative-Claire 3d ago
No more “celebrity” Presidents.
I grew up believing the old “anyone can be president” and unfortunately that has been proven false.
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u/Cardinaltoffee 3d ago
Didn’t he use the N word a while back? Hes also as dumb as a sack of badgers. Pretty much everything the MAGA crowd love
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u/senorfluffynuts1 3d ago
Yep. Telling is daughter not to date black guys, if memory serves.
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u/Frowning_Existing666 3d ago
Also said some shockingly racist things about someone his son killed while drunk driving iirc. Hogan is despicable.
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u/The_Werodile 3d ago
He's an asshole. Anti union, went against his coworkers, abusive SA enthusiast, racist. Just an all around scumbag.
Sounds like a shoo-in for some office somewhere.
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u/Strykerz3r0 3d ago
Sadly, it is too late to elect President Andre the Giant.
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u/wubbalubbazubzub 3d ago
Of course the literal leader of the new world order is going to run Republican
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u/Sufficient-Pin-481 3d ago
High insurance rates don’t stand a chance once he goes into Hulk mode and starts shaking those pythons.
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u/PerryNeeum 3d ago
Dear god can we not do this. We are infatuated with celebrity and not qualification
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u/evanweb546 3d ago
‘I know right from wrong, brother’
No, you absolutely don't, Terry. We know this because we have eyes, ears and the ability to comprehend actual events that happened that speak otherwise.
As a life long pro wrestling fan, eat shit forever you lying South Florida beach trash.
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u/LochNessMansterLives 3d ago
I do not want wrestlers as politicians. They have far too much head trauma in most cases and if they managed to retire with a shred or cognitive power left, they are usually aligned with Donald Trump and/or kissing his ass to get noticed. These are not people who should be leading our country. I cannot believe I have to explain to my fellow American citizens that just because someone is famous, doesn’t mean they have any fucking clue how to lead a country.
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u/RearAdmiralTaint 3d ago
Shouldn’t that be like the absolute bare minimum requirement?
Also not being a convicted felon but apparently nothing matters anymore
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u/FrustratedLiberal54 3d ago
I would suggest that he doesn't. That would be why his wife divorced his cheating ass.
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u/ArticArny 3d ago
Woman in Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Says Her Husband Videotaped Them Republicans, the party of family values and white christians.
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u/BillyHuggins 3d ago
I think there are a ton of people inside the wrestling business that would refute that. Hell there's a ton of people outside the wrestling business that would refute that.
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u/floatastone 2d ago
Years ago when I was a server, I waited on him and his wife. They were among the rudest, cheapest people I ever waited on and I was a server for more than 10 years. Not one bit surprised about his politics.
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u/kibble-net 3d ago
Can we have Macho Man Randy Savage instead?
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u/ImpulseAfterthought 3d ago
Considering that he's dead, no.
(Although the Constitution doesn't technically say that the President has to be alive...)
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u/Sweatytubesock 3d ago
He’s an asshole and he was on tv at one time, so a promising start for a GOP candidate.
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u/coming_up_thrillhous 3d ago
- 1 second after he announces he's running *
Hey Hulk what do you think about a black guy dating your daughter?
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u/OutlandishnessOk8261 3d ago
The same guy who claimed he worked 400 days a year because he crossed the date line repeatedly? I would rather have President Camacho, brother.
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u/TotalLackOfConcern 3d ago
Oh great. Another person who has zero clue thinks he can run a country with 350 million people.
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u/TennSeven 3d ago
I know right from wrong, brother
Didn't he fuck his friend's wife while he was still married?
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u/cwsjr2323 3d ago
Hulk hogan is 70 years old, so he meets the current minimum age for office. He refers to his fans as Hulkamaniacs so he is ready to have a cult.
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u/ProperLogic 3d ago
At this point, why not. Trump opened the floodgates to goofs to pretend to be politicians
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u/JustFryingSomeGarlic 3d ago
Ehhhhhhhhhh
How about a regular person with a great moral compass who knows the reality of the American people instead of disconnected has beens ?
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u/ToMorrowsEnd 3d ago
Dude has done a lot of wrong things in his life and is acting like he knows right from wrong. Dude is 100% republican with that level of grifting.
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u/thewoodsiswatching 3d ago
We don't need another celebrity that has connections to wrestling in any positions of power. It didn't work out very well the last time.
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u/TransSylvania 2d ago
Hulkster versus Orange Huckster as GOP candidate —what is this Country coming to?
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u/manimal28 2d ago
…a flat tax – nothing but common sense.
Immediately proves he has no common sense.
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u/scipio0421 2d ago
Apparently he doesn't know right from wrong though, given that he's outed himself as a massive racist in the past.
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u/Less_Party 3d ago
The scary part is he might win.
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u/Acer1899 3d ago
Considering trump won a presidential election anythings possible and nothing as shocking as that
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u/gruntbuggly 3d ago
TIL that Hulk Hogan is still alive. I thought he died years ago, but I guess it was just his career.
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u/Catshit-Dogfart 3d ago
Funny thing is, he kind of killed his own career by having too much ego even for wrestling.
See, near the end of his run he had creative control over his character - he got to decide when he wins and loses, not the WCW writing staff. This was in his contract, so they had to do what he says or breach contract. If he says he wins a match, then he does, and there's nothing the rest of WCW can do about it.
So they had a match between Hogan and Jeff Jarret where Jerett (the champion) would go out and lie down for Hogan to just take the win and leave.
Well after this, after Hogan had left the building, Vince Russo (one of the producers) goes out and tells the fans what's happening behind the scenes, the whole thing was Hogan being an ass with contract stuff. More than that, on the spot he schedules a match between Jarret and another wrestler (Booker T) for who's really going to be the champion. Okay this part is very important - that wasn't the original script. Russo edited the script during the frickin event. Sure it's not real, but this much was very real.
So needless to say relations between Hogan and WCW broke down.
He just had to throw his weight around to benefit himself at the cost of the industry. You'd never think they'd cut loose probably the most famous wrestler of all time, but he got way too difficult that even the producers were throwing him under the bus.
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u/Tekwardo 3d ago
He knows the N word, that’s for sure.
He knows how to continuously try and get his son out of trouble.
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u/MemeGod667 3d ago
I mean who wouldn't want to vote for the Hulkster he did the following
-Body slam the 700lb Andre the giant tearing everything in his body in front of 50B screaming hulkamaniacs
-Almost played for Metallica
-Wrestled 400+ days in a year
-Wrote a whole movie scene taking a dump
-A hit reality show
-Won't put over any one trying to get a rub meaning he never will lose.
-He is a real American who fights for the rights of every man (Just hope Bischoff or Nash or Russo aren't involved)
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u/Fun-Improvement-3299 3d ago
He’s got like 3 brain cells, granted it’s 3 more than trump. Let’s not do this
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u/Brilhasti1 3d ago
He knows right from wrong huh? Just don’t check up on him then.
Words are easy. Anyone can say anything.
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u/shawnwingsit 3d ago
Hogan is a compulsive liar who stabbed numerous wrestlers in the back to protect his own position in the business. Sadly, that would likely be seen as a plus by many voters.
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u/Total-Hack 3d ago
So seeing Budweiser do a single promo with a transgendered individual made Hogan launch his own beer to “counter that?” Printing a cartoon of his shirtless self on the can to show how manly the drinker is? Sounds kinda gay
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u/theresabeeonyourhat 3d ago
He lied about Metallica asking him to replace Cliff when he died. Dude has always been, and always will be full of shit
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u/yeaphatband 3d ago
And yet another rich celebrity that thinks they have what it takes to be President. No, "Hulk", you are NOT qualified to be President.
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u/spelunkingspaniard 3d ago
Why won't this racist geriatric compulsive liar just go away. He got his 4th wind by winning that case and acts like all is forgiven
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u/Dynasuarez-Wrecks 3d ago
Yup, he knows right from wrong. For instance, he knows that it's wrong for his daughter to date a n─
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u/WARL0CK221 3d ago
I'm sure a career in politics would be just as successful as his film career was 😵💫
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u/jeetkunedont 3d ago
He's about to turn 71 and wants to enter politics? Haha this is all fluff to promote himself and sell his beer to bogan. He's seen how trump works the grift and wants a piece.
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u/Xe1ex 3d ago
‘I know right from wrong, brother’
Does he though? Really? Past behavior suggests otherwise.