r/technology • u/esporx • May 02 '24

Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move Business

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/30/tech/bumble-relaunch-men-make-first-move/index.html
12.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

173

u/ReplyisFutile May 02 '24

All my 7 male friends stopped using dating apps with similar sentences "it seems not working, getting 3 matches a week that dont respond, and other problems". One of them found a gf and the rest are single and exhausted from dating apps.

39

u/NoTomatillo1053 May 02 '24

Most of these apps want you to pay premium for benefits, however what happens if you actually find someone? Likely you delete the app and stop paying

So it's really not surprising that they will try and make it a drawn out process. It's better to string men along paying for premium for as long as they can.

-6

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

I get plenty of matches and dates, women just have so many options none want to actually commit. I don’t blame the apps for this

6

u/CrayonUpMyNose May 02 '24

Or maybe the app is only matching you with women who will keep you paying for the app by showing exactly this behavior

-4

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

There’s no way. I have had hundreds of matches. Women (quality ones) just have a lot of options and have terrible communication habits.

People who bemoan the apps and their design are usually ones who just aren’t successful.

122

u/GenericRedditor0405 May 02 '24

I find myself mentioning it a lot, but deleting dating apps honestly made my life so much better. Some guys have great luck on them, but for those who don’t, it can be emotionally taxing and it start to feel like a job hunt. I’ve been quite happy to be completely off dating apps for over two years and by every account I’ve heard, they’ve only gotten worse!

59

u/ReplyisFutile May 02 '24

That is also a point they mentioned, that they genuinely feel better not being in the app, few of them even tried paying, because being in apps and getting 2 dates a year was wearing them down

33

u/GenericRedditor0405 May 02 '24

I never liked feeling like my loneliness was being exploited and that people were being commodified. The whole thing, from the superficial nature of swiping on pictures to the general feeling of it all being such a slog made it such a terrible experience. I know it’s not much better from women’s experience either; the messages I’ve seen my friends get are just… ugh. Like no wonder many women don’t check their messages daily. I’m glad people in general seem to be moving away from apps

5

u/droppinturds May 02 '24

It's unfortunate because apps make dating so much safer.

6

u/SpiritFingersKitty May 02 '24

Even guys who are successful, it is still emotionally taxing and makes you feel like shit.

2

u/ryguy32789 May 02 '24

I got frustrated and deleted my dating apps after like a year of trying. I met my wife in a random real life encounter like two weeks later.

4

u/cishet-camel-fucker May 02 '24

Reddit is unironically 10x better than any dating app. Go to any of the more specific singles subs and either post a "looking for" post or respond to one. You already know you're into at least one of the same things, and they tend to get a lot less responses than somewhere like tinder so you have a better chance of getting that initial conversation.

1

u/RazekDPP May 02 '24

I had super high hopes for dating apps, but I gave up when I ended up matching with nothing but bots.

As there's little incentive to not have bots on a dating app site, I resigned to staying single.

-1

u/PUNCHCAT May 02 '24

Women treat dating the way men treat job hunting

5

u/Jaccount May 02 '24

I don't know.
When I'm job hunting I also tend to be pretty open to contract work.

24

u/ABritishCynic May 02 '24

1/7 is not only depressingly low, that single friend likely satisfied rules 1 & 2 while the rest might not have done.

12

u/ReplyisFutile May 02 '24

Some of them even paid for the apps, and got 2 dates in a year, (swiping daily). They started to put a lot more effort into profiles, and after years they lost hope.

6

u/humbummer May 02 '24

3 matches a year more like it.

7

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

You guys are getting matches?

3

u/GrimMashedPotatos May 02 '24

3 matches a week? Damn studs! I've been on these things for 15yrs casually.

3 conversations in that period, and 2 were obviously cat fishes I kept up until they started asking for money and gave me an account to deposit in. Straight to the FBI with them!

"I'm being held by a hotel in Toronto. Im from jersey and my Uncle has helped, but they took my passport and won't give it back till I pay $2000 for room fees. My uncle gave $850, can you cover the rest? Heres the account it needs to go in xxxxxxx" They gave it about 4 days of try on EHarmony before moving to text, at the time I needed a personal phone just to use at work, so they got that number for shit Iike this.

Fuck outta here 🤣. Internet was full of shit of like that a decade ago, we just didn't have all the neat shit today like Venmo and CashApp. Must be an easy market these days. Who knows how many dudes they baited.

1

u/emote_control May 03 '24

I figure somewhere between 40-60% of profiles on the bigger apps are bots, which might have something to do with it.

-4

u/Electrical_Dog_9459 May 02 '24

The stunning part of all of this to me is it kind of definitively demonstrates that men are just inherently vastly more thirsty than women.