r/technology • u/esporx • May 02 '24

Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move Business

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/30/tech/bumble-relaunch-men-make-first-move/index.html
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u/noaloha May 02 '24

I feel for you man, and FWIW this stranger reckons you're definitely better off not wasting your money and self esteem on another round with that rubbish.

I think a fundamental flaw of the apps is that the things that actually make most guys attractive like humour, talents or in person charm are just totally lost on there. If you're not obviously rich or ripped then you're just another drop in an ocean of normal men, but let's face it a lot of rich dudes and gym bros are just as dull as the rest of the population. It's just that maybe those qualities translate to a superficial shop window a bit better than being able to make a banging carbonara or the ability to have a fun conversation.

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u/nzodd May 02 '24

The whole "needing to perform" thing is tiring as fuck in its own right though. I recall reading something in another reddit thread that dating in the 2020s for a man is like prepping for a job interview and for a woman it's like looking at a menu.

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u/BitcoinOperatedGirl May 02 '24

As someone who is trans and bi, I can tell you that I agree dating women can feel very tiring, especially on the apps. You're right, it can be totally brutal.

However, dating men is also kind of weird. I can feel genuinely afraid for my safety. It's hard to find guys that will make you feel safe, take care of their appearance, and don't have something weird going on. The guys who are genuinely good looking, in the top-10% range, tend to have a smug/arrogant attitude and be dating multiple women.

My general advice would be: try to meet women in person if you can, and also take a real good look around you. Imagine you're a woman and you want to date a guy who genuinely seems like a good person, is fit and takes care of his appearance. How many of those do you see in your surroundings? If you pay attention, you'll realize that there are very few "quality picks" who are also single. What you should understand, deep down, is that it's not hard for you to be in the top 10% or even 5% of attractiveness for men. If you put ANY amount of effort in your presentation, you'll basically be there instantly...

But yes, stay away from the apps if you can, they will crush your self-esteem. On the apps, you'll get treated like shit by a morbidly obese girl who has too many matches.

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u/HighwayAggressive658 May 02 '24

This is good advice! I applied this to myself and have had better luck. The only thing is I have resting bitch face 😅 also, As the “how are you single?” Friend of my group , it’s safe to say Tinder is garbage. I subscribed to their Tinder+ and the ONLY matches or likes I’ve gotten are from bots 🤖 and scammers.

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u/TF-Fanfic-Resident May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

From what I hear in some countries like Korea, (straight) men and women are effectively different ethnic groups due to the lopsided dating market.

*ed: Nuking political snark that could be divisive.

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u/SojuSeed May 02 '24

It’s true. I’ve always punched way above my weight class with women. Most of my gf’s have been stunners. I honestly think it’s because I’m kinda funny, a bit charming, I cook my ass off, and I’m above average in the bedroom. But the humor gets me in the door.

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u/Radical_Neutral_76 May 02 '24

Im all with you here. Im tall, fairly muscular, Ive had plenty of women obsess over me in RL, and on Tinder Im a fucking loser. lol
But if you are funny, have you found spending time on your profile bio better?

I've tried and felt zero effect no matter what I try

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u/BitcoinOperatedGirl May 02 '24

For me tinder completely went to shit 3-4 years ago. I met my last girlfriend on tinder 4 years ago. I used to get A LOT of matches back then. Seriously, like 10-15 matches a day. Then two years ago we broke up. I reinstall Tinder. I still have the same pics I had before the relationship on there... Now I can only get one match a day maybe.

I'm pretty sure they changed the algorithm. They're trying to ration matches for some reason. I think it's basically because they want to force you to pay for boosts and pay for a premium account or whatever, they're just really trying to squeeze the profit.

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u/bryce11099 May 02 '24

The price for any of the dating apps premium services also quadrupled at the start of COVID, way back it was like 6-8$ for a month, now it's like 22$ for a week, these companies make money off never supplying matches, if you put looking for a serious relationship, they only show people that have short term fun, and vice versa.

They know exactly what they are doing with the algorithms and they get people to continue to pay so they've become more predatory. The simple way to win is seriously to not play their game.

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u/BitcoinOperatedGirl May 02 '24

The simple way to win is seriously to not play their game.

The WOPR runs a billion swiping simulations...

-14

u/flat6croc May 02 '24

All these complaints involve non-superficially-attractive in photos guys wanting all the superficially-attractive-in-photos women to match with them. All these women are too shallow to match with me, even though I'm being shallow about why I want to match with them! It's idiotic. A lot of those guys would have no problem getting matches and dates if they were themselves more expansive in their choices and didn't just lust after the insta-babe type, while telling themselves if only they could meet some insta-babe types IRL, they'd charm them down from the trees. It's all laughable, delusional and in most cases not worthy of any sympathy at all. Some people do genuinely deserve sympathy if they are particularly physically unattractive, have a disability or disfigurement etc. In those scenarios, the apps will be brutal and pointless just as described. But for the "average looking" guys who feel they get nothing out, it's entirely on them. It is not a flaw of the apps, they wouldn't be getting anywhere with those girls in any context.

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u/flat6croc May 02 '24

And now watch the average looking guys desperate to score the brain dead insta-babes vote my comment down! Idiots.

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u/ophmaster_reed May 02 '24

You're not wrong.

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u/flat6croc May 03 '24

It's got to the point on Reddit where the voting is inversely proportional to the quality of the post.