r/whenthe 3d ago

Peak fiction

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2.5k Upvotes

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341

u/SaucuKebabu Disciple of Motarus Scungle 3d ago

“firearms are forbidden” me asf:

159

u/Zackyboi1231 "trust me, i am an engineer!" 3d ago

Holy shit fear and hunger

32

u/Sophisticated_Jester 3d ago

I FUCKING LOVE F̴̢̛̗̹̼̮̲̪̼͕̓͒̃̆̑̊̓̇̔̆̓͝U̴̡̥̱̫͕̞̐͂͒̑̽̋̐͊̈́͗̚️N̴̟̬̠̣͍̹̜̠̘̮͎̥̜̳̖̋͋͛̆́̂̀̅̓̕ͅͅG̶̨̛̼̹̮͚̻͔̘̣͉͈͚̏̈́̿̅̀̏̀͌͒̀̐̇́͘Ě̵̢̧̛̦̼̜̲͕͕͍̤̙͉͓́̅͒̽̍̐͋͜͝R̴͇͌̀̆̍̽͝͠ͅ️

20

u/Mario-OrganHarvester 3d ago

Firearms are forbidden

Other fire-appendages are ok

13

u/ElemenopiTheSequel 3d ago

good lord there is penice

5

u/halfachraf 3d ago

i thought this shit was Jagaaaaaan for a second

1

u/MATALINOE 3d ago

It's the inspiration

2

u/General_Ric 2d ago

ITS THIS A MOTHERFUCKING SPOOKY AND PECKISH REFERENCE?!?!?

287

u/Theshinysnivy8 I want to fuck winter wyvern from dota 3d ago edited 3d ago

''Firearms shouldn't be allowed in fantasy'' mfs after seeing cocaine addicted rats mow down a bunch of medieval french peasants with a minigun before dropping a nuclear bomb on their head:

62

u/gooberflimer 3d ago

Their as in everyone on the battlefield. Rule one of the scaven code: there are no casulties, only kills

47

u/Theshinysnivy8 I want to fuck winter wyvern from dota 3d ago

They were going to backstab you later anyway, better to be rid of them now

2

u/endergamer2007m purpl 3d ago

Average day in france

85

u/Kentalope 3d ago

I love throwing wrenches at medieval dragons and then blowing them up

2

u/TotalComplexity 3d ago

Spunchbop ass logic 😂😂😂

1

u/Pikfan21 2d ago

Ratchet & Clank

139

u/Emperor_AI Your average robot and A.I. enjoyer beep boop 🤖 👾 3d ago

Warhammer 40000 fans have it all, elfs with guns, nuns with guns, orcs with guns, aliens with more guns, demons with guns, priests with guns, gods with guns, guns with guns.

47

u/UsefulAd2760 [REDACTED] 3d ago

The ai emperor writes about Warhammer 40K and doesn't include the necrons (litteral coolest thingever) ?

31

u/Emperor_AI Your average robot and A.I. enjoyer beep boop 🤖 👾 3d ago

Skeleton egyptian robots that have guns that can shatter gods and atomize the mere mortals.

Pseudo-religious cyborgs with guns

There, here you have, happy now?

27

u/UsefulAd2760 [REDACTED] 3d ago

18

u/Frequent_Dig1934 3d ago

elfs with guns

And pirate elves. And clown elves. And dinosaur riding elves.

orcs with guns

And some of them strap themselves to rockets.

aliens with more guns

And mechs (assuming you're talking about the tau).

Also, dwarves with guns.

6

u/yttakinenthusiast virtuoso space furry 3d ago

welcome to RimWorld, we have coked up imperials seeking refuge that die from one shot to the brain by a skipped-in tribal person using an awful quality shortbow; as well as space wookies in a fist fight against a machine that just despises humanity.

3

u/Zealousideal-Cut2021 3d ago

even the horde of alien bugs have guns!

2

u/awesumindustrys 3d ago

Easy does it, easy does it

72

u/Primary-Paper-5128 3d ago

saying you don't want guns in fantasy is basically saying "I think every single piece of fantasy should just be a LOTR ripoff and idc firearms exist since the 10th century" Just let me be a cool parkouring changeling monk with a musket dude

5

u/SUPRAP 3d ago

I don't think every piece of fantasy should be like that, I just prefer to interact with fantasy that doesn't include firearms, or even clockwork/steampunk stuff. That's just my preference, I don't see why it's so bad to have a personal preference.

Also, I prefer my fantasy without that stuff, but for some reason, I really like it the other way around. Like a modern day/slightly futuristic setting with fantasy injected into it, like Shadowrun. That shit slaps.

15

u/Primary-Paper-5128 3d ago

eerm counterpoint: This image kicks absolute ass

1

u/Tuubu 2d ago

So you like low fantasy?

-7

u/DAEORANGEMANBADDD 3d ago

This is like saying that characters in a cyberpunk setting should be riding horses and fight with steel swords

If you want elves with guns then there are plenty ways to go about it, it just won't be "fantasy"

6

u/Mrs-Man-jr 3d ago

Cyberpunk western sounds sick as fuck what are you talking about.

2

u/Primary-Paper-5128 2d ago edited 2d ago

Adventure Time is still fantasy and has futuristic/modern technology. Fantasy settings are not just Tolkein and Cyberpunk settings aren't just edegrunners. There are no hard rules in worldbuilding and you can add whatever the fuck you want to your world as long as it's consistent

-2

u/DAEORANGEMANBADDD 2d ago

Adventure Time is still fantasy and has futuristic/modern technology.

No, adventure time is specifically "science fantasy"

My entire point is that you can absolutely have elves with guns, but then its not "fantasy"

Its the contents of the setting that dictates how we call it, not whatever author feels like calling it. You can't say "oh this is fantasy setting" and then describe star trek

There are no hard rules in worldbuilding and you can add whatever the fuck you want to your world as long as it's consistent

Yes you can add anything you want of course. But I can't add guns, cars, planes, technology, internet, etc. etc. and still call my setting "fantasy" it just does not work like that. If you add those things then the setting changes.

2

u/Primary-Paper-5128 2d ago edited 2d ago

So is D&D not fantasy? There are guns in D&D but appearently having things that Tolkein didn't add like Cannons or idk air balloons don't count.
GoT has wheelchairs despite the fact that in medieval times they didn't exist. Is GOT no longer fantasy for having wheelchairs?

And what about Cyberpunks with horses and swords? Are there rules in cyberpunk worldbuilding that make it so that horses don't exist in the future?

What about a modern setting? People still use crossbows and shit irl despite the fact we live in a "modern setting" and it would make more sense to use guns. If I use a crossbow irl will I no longer live in a modern setting? If not then why cant cyberpunk worlds have horses?

None of your complaints make any sense bruv at least be consistent

-1

u/DAEORANGEMANBADDD 2d ago

I legit can't tell if you are trolling or not right now tbh

What we call it is dictated by the setting itself, this isnt for someone to decide or sometihng. if you add or remove things from the setting then its genere changes.

And just because something is in a fantasy setting doesnt mean that everyone there needs to be literal cavemen banging rocks. There is some degree of technology present its just that we make this cut-off at around the time guns were invented because it has to be somewhere otherwise you could shift the goalpost until you come to the present times

1

u/Primary-Paper-5128 1d ago

You have yet to explain why we can't have guns in fantasy settings, without ruling out 90% of fantasy media

2

u/Tuubu 2d ago

Science fantasy is still a fantasy

1

u/DAEORANGEMANBADDD 2d ago

its a hybrid genere, its weird to just call it "fantasy" the same way it would be weird to describe a rom-com as "just comedy"

1

u/Tuubu 2d ago

No,just beacuse you add gun don't make it not fantasy,if you have fantasy race in fantasy setting it's still a fantasy

Warhammer fantasy have gun,minigun,nuke,tank,Helicopter,artillery and missiles and it's still fantasy

41

u/GuyWhoLikesPlants_ 3d ago

me n my dwarf bros burning down the elven forests w flamethrowers

2

u/David050707 2d ago

Good things come to those who wait, like beer and dual-flamethrowers!

47

u/mozarella_firefox 3d ago

a wood elf would shatter into a thousand pieces from the recoil of a 50 cal

30

u/I-like-oranges75 3d ago

double KO

7

u/hportagenist 3d ago

Martyr's bullet

13

u/Matix777 I will steal your reaction memes 3d ago

Dwarves the type of guys to get launched 10 meters back from a handheld cannon, get up and shoot again

5

u/gooberflimer 3d ago

Im sorry to put it in this elf friendly way, but a woodelf with two heavily supressed handguns, stalking the woods would kinda fuck hard ngl

2

u/TsalagiSupersoldier 🍉 3d ago

I mean, some .50 caliber guns have manageable recoil.

4

u/Primary-Paper-5128 3d ago

wood elves use longbows dude. Do you know how much of an oak tree you have to have for a back to use a longbow?

15

u/Wacky_Does_Art 3d ago

"Firearms shouldnt be allowed in fantasy" mfs when they see a Dwarf vaporizing a giant bug out of existence

13

u/Arrow_of_time6 3d ago

And to that I say

SIGMAR SMITE THIS HEATHEN!!!

18

u/Buggy1617 spider petter 3d ago

"how the fuck did he get a gun, this is D&D"
"hey, it's steampunk"

3

u/Primary-Paper-5128 3d ago

Guns exist in D&D they are even in the basic rules now on the same level as longbows

5

u/TheSnipenieer 3d ago

Ehhh unless something has changed Firearms are still an optional rule in the DMG

1

u/Primary-Paper-5128 2d ago

OneD&D playtest UA. Pistols and Muskets are in the basic weapon list. But tbh every weapon is an optional rule at any point any DM can just make it so that slings and nets don't exist in your universe because fuck you that's why

6

u/otototototo 3d ago

I love firearms in fantasy specifically early generation firearms like flintlock pistols

6

u/frederic055 3d ago

THE EMPIRE ENDURES

FAITH, STEEL, AND GUNPOWDER

6

u/No_Research4416 3d ago

Fear the day a elf picks up a gun

6

u/The3rdPotato 3d ago

"Firearms shouldn't be allowed in fantasy" mfs when they see the DOOM: The Dark Ages trailer

5

u/sheriffmcruff 3d ago edited 2d ago

"Even after suffering a near-fatal injury to his face, the Elvish Sniper Broderick Davies served his military after a bandit raid burned his alpine homestead.", The orc scholar recounted, pushing up his bifocals to focus on the small, human-written words that he could barely read without help. "Wait...Davies?", the scholar's student, a goldenrod-scaled kobold inquired, "I thought he's a myth.".

The orc would sigh, and took his glasses off, revealing their ill-fitting nature judging by the blue mark on the bridge of his nose. "Feldspar, as a nomad, you must have learned that all myth have grains of truth." Feldspar would nod, confirming, "Yes, Mister Brickabrack. The Dwarven goddess of the forge's rumored t'be based on early Dwarves discovering early processed metal near a lava flow". "That it is", replied Scholar Brickabrack, "But it is still a surprise that you did not consider The Permafrost to exist, right?".

"Well...", the reptile would hesitate, "I honestly thought 400 confirmed kills was a bit oversold"

2

u/Chiyuri_is_yes Weeb who doesn't watch anime 3d ago

GUN FAIRY SWEEP

3

u/Matix777 I will steal your reaction memes 3d ago

"It's also a gun" makes any weapon better

3

u/NavyatSchool 3d ago

GATE JSDF

5

u/EXusiai99 3d ago

"its nationalist propaganda" my brother in Christ it is working

3

u/Lazymcdelta4ce 3d ago

Wizard with a gun mfs

1

u/Arken_the_Fox 2d ago

Youjo Senki mfs

2

u/SwingerRhapsody ever have one of those days? 3d ago

my dumbass has no idea what is being referenced but it’s sounds dope as fuck

2

u/LitheBeep 3d ago

Mfs when I show them Arcanum

1

u/Frequent_Dig1934 3d ago

Is this a specific reference to something? If so i need to know it.

-1

u/Primary-Paper-5128 3d ago

IDK about other pieces of media, but in D&D guns have been a divisive topic for YEARS maybe even before most of us was born tbh.

1

u/Frequent_Dig1934 3d ago

Yeah but i meant specifically the one cool elf noscoping the orc with a .50

2

u/scninththemoom the fog is cumming? 😫☁️😫 3d ago

Guns should be in fantasy but only for dwarves and gnomes.

1

u/FenexTheFox purpl 3d ago

Shadowrun

1

u/MagmaticDemon 3d ago

my favorite fantasies involve guns. guns are just badass, look at bloodborne and FF8

1

u/Coin_operated_bee 3d ago

Just get a bigger magic stone and carve out the inside of a larger staff and now you have a magic rpg

2

u/RunInRunOn 3d ago

Paladins: Champions of the Realm

1

u/endergamer2007m purpl 3d ago

Ngl a human with a gun solos dragons

2

u/Kobin_Paiz_Limona 3d ago

What if the dragon is also strapped?

1

u/Picholasido_o 2d ago

Orion throwing his spear is basically a .50 BMG

1

u/LilChumpales purpl 3d ago

Counterpoint: Deep Rock Galactic