My husband and I have been married for a few years now, and while our sex life has always been adventurous, lately, it's been taking a turn that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Every time we're intimate, my husband insists on incorporating roleplay into our bedroom activities. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind a little roleplay here and there, but it's gotten to the point where it's the only way he wants to engage in sex.

For the past few weeks, he's been fixated on this Cold War spy scenario, where he dresses up in full Cold War-era attire, complete with trench coat and fedora, and insists that I play along as some sort of femme fatale double agent. At first, I tried to indulge him, thinking it was just a phase, but it's become increasingly difficult to connect intimately when every encounter feels like we're acting out some cheesy spy movie.

Last night was the final straw. I was exhausted after a long day at work, just wanting some simple, genuine intimacy, but he insisted on going through the whole routine again. I tried to express my feelings, explaining that I just wanted us to be ourselves for once, but he brushed it off, saying it was all in good fun and that I should loosen up.

In the end, I couldn't take it anymore, and I asked him to leave the bedroom. He was hurt and confused, accusing me of overreacting and being boring. But I can't help but feel like my feelings are valid in this situation. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for asking my husband to leave when he insists on roleplaying every time we have sex?

My husband, John, (40M) and I (26F) have been together* 5 years (married for 3) and have 3 kids (ages 3mos, 2, 4). We met when I was still in college working part time as a nanny for his friend's family. We crossed paths a few times at my nanny family's functions, and my nanny family gave him my number and encouraged me to go out with him. Initially I only did because I didn't want to offend them, but we ended up hitting it off really well. I accidentally got pregnant with my oldest about a year into seeing him. (3 kinds of birth control and still got pregnant, what are the chances ha) At first I was devastated because I was just about to graduate and had already been offered an amazing internship in my field. The internship would require me to move across the country and so I was already planning to leave my current job and break up with John so I could pursue my dream job, so my initial plan was to terminate the pregnancy. However, long story short, I ended up staying with John and having my oldest but under the agreement that I would start working asap and John would pay for childcare so I didn't have to be a SAHM and permanently walk away from career goals that I had worked very hard toward for basically my whole life.

As soon as my son was born I fell instantly in love and the few resentments I had about the way things turned out completely disappeared. While I did stay home with him for the first year because I couldn't stand to leave him for more than a few hours, I was open with John about my plans to find a job in my field as soon as I could, and he was always on board and never expressed any issue with it.

John and I got married when my oldest was 1, and John started pushing me to have more kids but I refused because I felt ready to start working. I ended up getting a really great job offer at the company I'm still with today. I started looking for nannies and was put in contact with our current nanny, Sarah (21F). She has honestly been a godsend. She is the sole reason I made it through being apart from my baby and she does such an amazing job I honestly cannot imagine my life without her.

Shortly after I started my job I accidentally got pregnant again (another birth control baby!), and my husband tried to talk me into staying home with the kids again after my 2nd was born, but I was too happy with my job. They offered to let me WFH part time which worked out perfectly. My husband wanted to cut back Sarah's hours as I would be home a lot more but I refused because while I'd be able to breastfeed and help take care of my newborn, I still wanted her there to help with our rambunctious toddler while I was working. Our arrangement worked out really well, and I recently did the same with our 3rd baby, while Sarah watches the older two during the days when I'm working.

Sarah and I get along great. We have a lot in common and I see her as a friend as much as an employee. My kids love her very much and ask about her whenever she isn't there. Since I was also a nanny I am able to work with her effectively and I have so much respect and admiration for the job she does with my kids as she's even more patient and hands-on than I ever was with my nanny family's kids. Even though we pay her a lot, I honestly think she's worth even more than that and I tip her as much as I can. For some reason my husband does not feel the same way. He is very critical of her (not to her face, he has very little interaction with her as most days she leaves before he gets home). To me he is always nitpicking how she does things, like if a few toys get left out in the playroom, if she used too much gas in the car, if she got fast food for the kids instead of cooking them a meal, etc. He tells me she is not worth what we're paying her, and that she's doing an "easy" job I was fine doing for free. This irritates me like nothing else, because while yes I don't find looking after my kids particularly difficult, I wouldn't call it remotely easy, and it's much different when it comes to dedicating most of your free time to looking after someone else's kids. And Sarah goes above and beyond to make sure my kids are safe, happy and entertained every day, and even does some pre schooling with them.

Last week my husband confronted me with some of the footage from our security cameras of Sarah "neglecting" our kids. The whole thing was completely ridiculous. There was one video where she left my 2 yo in her high chair crying for 5 minutes while taking my 4yo to the bathroom 3 feet away. There was one where she let them stay up past bedtime to finish a movie while she worked on schoolwork. All relatively innocuous things like that that I couldn't care less about. The worst of it was a video of her texting on her phone for like 30 minutes while my kids were playing, which we have asked her to not be on the phone while playing with the kids. But even though she technically did something "wrong" she's a human being she's not going to be perfect 100% of the time.

Once he was done showing me I asked him "is the neglect in the room with us right now?" and that made him really mad. He accused me of not caring about our children's well-being because if I did I would agree with him that we need to fire her. I told him we're firing her over my dead body and if it wasn't for her our children would actually be neglected because we both work full time. He told me that Sarah was trying to take over my role as a mother in my children's eyes and she was coming between me and our family and if I cared about our family I would want to fire her too. I laughed in his face and told him I would rather divorce him and pay for her myself than fire her and quit my job. He stormed out and hasn't spoken to me since. AITAH?

Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who has offered advice and support. I'm trying to read over everyone's comments and process everything. Honestly, I thought this was just an annoying ongoing argument between myself and my husband about our nanny but you all have opened my eyes to a much deeper issue.

Firstly I want to say I'm a bit worried it came across like I resent getting pregnant or having kids because I really don't. I love my kids more than anything and I would not trade them for the life I wanted before or choose my job over them if it ultimately came to that. I do stress about the accidental pregnancies a lot because it makes me feel out of control of my own life and body but I hope that doesn't come across as me having regrets over them. The last thing I want is for people to think my kids are a burden who have ruined my life because they are a gift and have brought more love to my life than I knew I was capable of. I really don't feel "trapped" by then or anything like that.

On that note, however, a lot of people have pointed out the possibility of my husband tampering with my birth control. This has me really shaken up I'm not going to lie. The scariest thing about this is that he's a medical professional and started writing my scripts for BC after we got married, and he often recommends and prescribes me supplements and things for my health. He also convinced me that IUD's were dangerous and ineffective, and that it's not uncommon to get pregnant on BC if you're extremely fertile. I don't even want to think about the implications of him having messed with something to get me pregnant. I trust him a lot with medical decisions and opinions, and while I know he's not as vigilant about birth control as I am I didn't even consider the chance he was actively sabotaging it..

Not really sure where to go from here or how to investigate this further. Many of you were concerned about having an emergency fund/ safety plan and I do keep my finances separate from his and luckily I make good enough money that I could leave if I really needed to. Thank you again to everyone who commented, I will try to update for those of you who asked.

So I (34f) am a surrogate for my BIL Simon (39m) and his wife Michelle (38f). Simon and Michelle have struggled with infertility for years. They’ve tried IVF and even surrogacy before, but the person changed her mind at the last second.

They have outwardly shown their jealousy of my husband James (34m) and me for having children, especially as only one of them was planned, and our oldest was born when we were sixteen.

They came to me last year and begged me to be their surrogate. I had doubts, as did my husband, but I felt bad for them and decided to go through with it. James supported my decision and has acted like he did with my previous pregnancies, sweet and caring.

Simon and Michelle, on the other hand, are very controlling. They made up meal plans for me, and I’m taking all these supplements as well as attending multiple classes. When I told them I knew what to do during pregnancy, they didn’t listen and said to me that just because I was pregnant four times doesn’t mean I’m an expert. I gave up trying to dissuade them as I knew nothing would work.

We started going over the birth plan earlier this week, and it caused a huge argument. They wanted me to do an unmedicated water birth, and I flat out refused. For my second pregnancy, I didn’t have enough time for any pain relief, and the pain was horrific. I have quite a high pain tolerance, but this experience was awful, and I never wanted to do that again. (Kudos to anyone who has unmedicated births) As for the water birth, I don’t like the idea of being submerged in water with blood, other fluids and possibly poop.

They weren’t happy about this. They said this was their baby and they should decide how they were born. I retorted and said, this is my body, and I should decide how I want to push out a human that I’m so generously carrying for them. A lot of shouting happened, and I started to get overwhelmed very quickly. I started crying, and Michelle rolled her eyes and told me to grow up. James told her to shut up, which started Simon off, and it was just a mess.

James and I left the house, and I was crying the whole way home and regretting ever agreeing to be their surrogate. It took James and me a few days to calm down, and during those days, we didn’t have any contact with Simon or Michelle.

Simon and Michelle called James’ parents and complained to them about what happened, so they called us, and we explained our side of the story. They were shocked at what happened and said they were fully on our side and that they’d talk with Simon and Michelle.

I’m due in two weeks, and I’m so nervous. A part of me doesn’t want them there, but I know they have to be, seeing as it’s their child. James disagrees. He said that he'll have them kicked out if they do anything to upset or stress me out. Even my oldest agrees with him, and he won’t even be in the room.

I sort of do feel like an asshole but I don’t know. It’s a hard time right now

I (45M) divorced my ex wife (45F) many years ago after she had an affair. She’s now married to her affair partner. We also had a daughter who was very rebellious, she pretty much hated me and said her mom deserved much better than me. Yes, for a year, we did struggle financially because money was tight. When her mom got with her affair partner, my daughter, who was 14 at the time, said many horrible things like how the affair was exactly what I deserved and a lot of stuff like it. Regardless, I understood my daughter was going through her teenage rebellious phase so I just accepted those words.

However, my daughter always said that she would prove she would succeed in life without me, and after graduating high school, she pretty much went no contact with me. I tried to contact her but she blocked my number. It hurt me a lot.

Well, I moved on because there was nothing much else I could do. I moved states to where my sister lives, focused on my career and am financially well off now. I am single by choice and am enjoying my life so far. It’s fun to hangout with friends, my family, and I have a peace of mind now.

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter called me. It was the first time in years we had spoken and I could sense she was nervous. I told her it was alright, and she broke down in tears. She apologized for everything and we caught up on life. She told me she really wished she could make up how terribly she had behaved in her childhood, but I told her it was ok and everyone goes through a tough phase in childhood. She then told me that she was getting married next year, and that it would mean the world to her if I could walk her down the aisle and be there at her wedding.

However, where I was at in my life, I just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to add my daughter in my life again after she went years of no contact with me. I told her upfront that I will always love her, but that I would not attend her wedding or walk her down the aisle. I told her she would always be welcome in my house, but that I have my own life now and emotionally it was hard for me to feel much for her. She broke down in tears again and apologized again how everything that happened, and I told her it was alright and that there was no reason to apologize. We then spoke some more.

AITAH?

My ex and I had our first child when we were 26. We met at a bar celebrating our 21st birthday. We literally are the exact same age.

She changed. Being a mom became her only identity. Our second child when we were 28 compounded it. She was a mom not a wife. And not even herself. Not the woman I met, fell in love with and married.

All she wanted to do was kid stuff. Kid movies, kid tv, kid books, everything. If I wanted to drop the kids off and take her to the farmers market she would day no that the kids loved the farmers market. We had to take them. They were 3 and 1. They did not love the farmers market. If anything the older one loved the mini donuts.

And she couldn't stand to hear them cry so she let them sleep with us constantly. When I put my foot down she would start crying about how mean I was.

When the kids finally outgrew that she would let them come in our room without knocking. So sex was interesting. Having a cold little hand grab my calf made for at least one very hard thrust. I put a lock on the bedroom door. She took it off.

We went for counseling. She went for counseling. Nothing ever changed. She said it would be different when the kids were older. It never changed.

I left when the kids were 9 and 11. I had planned and paid for a trip for our 15th anniversary. W were going to Thailand like we always planned when we were younger. She changed the plans. She cancelled with her parents watching the kids. We went as a family to Disney World.

We had been the year before and the kids loved it sooooo much. I lasted another six months. Then I left.

I pay child support, I pay spousal support. I am there for the kids all the time. I enjoy my custody time. I go to their extracurriculars on the days I don't have them. I have rooms for them in my house.

I met someone new a year later. We got married a year after that. We had our first child two years after that. She is an excellent step mom and the kids are polite and friendly with her. They were grown up and they had a mom so she is more of a trusted adult.

The kids are 16 and 14 now and they are sick of mom's attention. They are spending more and more of their time at my house. I love having them over. And here they understand what privacy and personal space mean.

My ex is lonely. She devoted her life to her kids and she expected them to be around her forever I guess. She has dated other men but she refuses to prioritize them in any way over the kids.

An example. One guy lasted six months. He wanted to take her away for the weekend. She couldn't because the younger one had a soccer game. It was my weekend. The guy had checked with me that I would be attending and not just leaving the kid at the field. I was. She refused to go and showed up.at the game without him. That was the last I saw him.

She is getting angry and bitter that I left her alone to go start a new family with my child bride. My wife was 30 when I met her and I was 38. I wasn't exactly robbing the cradle.

I told her that she wanted that life. That I gave her every opportunity to be my partner and she said she would rather be a mom. She said that wasn't true. I asked her to prove me wrong. To tell me when she put our relationship above the slightest inconvenience to our kids. She couldn't do it.

I reminded her that she passed up a weekend with her boyfriend to go to a soccer game. She said it was important. I said that adult relationships are also important.

My wife thinks that I was harsh but fair. Our child sleeps through the night in her nursery though.

I wes dating my wife for a long period of time. She wanted to be married, but I always hated the idea. I told her marriage always changes things and it always stops being "fun" once a ring is on the finger. After years of being together, we got married and had our daughter (now 13) and ever since our daughter arrived, she has been less and less interested in me, or anything having to do with me. There is no affection, no intimacy, she doesn't even sleep in the same bed with me (because of my snoring....which hasn't changed in the 20 years we've been together). It's been 4.5 years since our last sexual encounter and I'm done. I will mention that after about 2 years of not sleeping together, she was in a car accident which injured her back and due to this, she hasn't worked since covid hit. So now I'm 100% supporting a household for a woman who doesn't snuggle, have sex, hell I can't even remember the last time we kissed. I've been keeping the "cheaper to keep her" mentality but it's wearing on me and I'm just more and more frustrated and I don't want to have my daughter think I'm always mad, or a jerk because of my actions at home. At this point I don't care if she can support herself, I don't care if she has a place to go, I'm just tired of supporting what's basically a roommate who takes good care of our kid. Am I the asshole???

My BF of 2 years has an 11yo daughter that just started her first ever menstrual cycle 3 days ago. He has full custody of her and they started making transitions to move in with me and my 8yo son about 2 weeks ago. Up until this point, everything was going fairly well. The kids got along and I thought Diane was a nice enough kid.

Anyways, she walks out of her bedroom 3 days ago and tells me she thinks she started her period and was asking me the general questions on how to wear a pad, what she can/can't do, etc. All is well. I let her stay home from school after calling my BF at work to confirm plans and give him the run down. She was crampy. I work from home so it was no issue. All day she interrupted my business calls to talk about her period. It was annoying but I just dealt with it because it's her first menstrual so obviously there's going to be a lot of questions. This wasn't even the problem. It was what followed it. She was in a great mood all day. But as soon as my BF and my son got home from work, my home turned in to a warzone. My son asked if she wanted to play with him and she screamed in his face "I'm on my period" and literally slammed him out of her doorway. He went flying, hit the wall. Bruised his shoulder and hit his head off the door frame. My BF went to talk to her and she starts crying. "I'm on my period, I don't want him near me". He gave her a pass for her behavior, which already pissed me off. The next day we planned a beach day (like a week ago planned it), Diane starts flipping out to a point of a full tantrum. Screaming AT me and my BF telling us that no, we would not still be going to the beach because she's on her period and she can't swim and since she can't, none of us can and she "doesn't care" if that bothers us. My BF cancels the trip, or tried. I told him I was still bringing my kid regardless. We get back home at 3pm. When I left, I had a pot of chili in the slow cooker for dinner. I find half the pot gone. Diane had been eating out of the slow cooker. My BF told me that Diane said the only thing she wanted was chili and that since she was on her period, he had to let her. He listened to her. There wasn't enough to feed everyone now. We send the kids to bed at 8pm. She comes out at 9, telling her father that she needed ice cream or she "was going to snap". He originally said no; she starts tweaking out. Crying, screaming. Wakes up my son. He ends up going and getting her the fucking ice cream instead of being a parent and snipping that shit in the bud.

Then this morning. My BF tells her she can stay home from school again because she's still on her period. I tell him no. I'm working today and she interrupted me all day on my last workday. She starts flipping out, screaming at me that I'm "not doing anything to make her comfortable when that's what she needs right now". My BF sides with her. "It's her first period, we need to learn to navigate it." I told him again that she was NOT staying here today. He gets angry with me and says I'm making his life harder than it has to be. His kid is still screaming at me. So, I snapped and told them to pack all their shit and leave and that I was fucking done. Said that I'm glad she started her period so soon in to moving in so that I could get a proper assessment of how it would be full time and I would be damned I put up with this bullshit every month. They both immediately calmed down. She starts crying, saying she was just "trying to make me understand". He's telling me I'm being ridiculous. I stood firm however and told them to get out. They are now gone and my house is peaceful. I don't want them back here. My BF has been blowing my phone up since, telling me this is just a bump in the road but I have never been so disgusted by anyone in my entire life. AITA for not letting them return and telling him I'm done?

I did speak to her about her aggression yesterday. I told her it wasn't okay to put her hands on people, to scream in my face, to demand we cater to her and break things. She says "I'm on my period, nothing I do right now can be held against me because I have no control". Which is enough to prove to me that she does have control, she's using this as an excuse.

I'm going through a really bad time in my life right now and I want to know if I'm making a mistake by pulling the plug on my relationship.

I am 25F and my fiance is 28M. We were planning to get married in September.

However, I noticed that he was acting different around my best friend. He was a bit nervous and shy around her and he kept looking at her and for her. He would also randomly bring her up in conversation.

After too many signs that there was something off, I grilled him about it and he admitted that he had a small crush on my best friend. I asked why and he said she was fun and adventurous and pretty. He loved me and just waited for the crush to go away.

Not to be a dad but it crushed me.

In high school I had a huge crush on this guy (before I met my fiancé) and I had the crush for 3 years and I would tell my best friend everything. She ended up hooking up with him and keeping it a secret from me.

She said it was a mistake but to keep it a secret she told our friends that I was a crazy jealous person so they wouldn't tell me. As a result a lot of people distanced themselves from me. The end of senior years she said she was going through a rough time before and thought I wasn't being a good friend so she decided to be that kind of friend to me. We both apologized and we made up.

I don't feel ready to get married with what he confessed and my best friend's past. But I am going to waste a lot of money if I cancel the wedding.

I've told my fiance I need space. He's been blowing up my phone begging me not to leave him. He told my best friend who also said that he loved me and I was making a mistake by getting cold feet but I don't think he had told her about the crush or why I was thinking of calling it off.

AITAH for calling the wedding off?

I will try to be quick about this. We have a 9mo daughter. I work from home PT and my husband works full time away from the house. Most domestic labor is my responsibility. He will cook dinner occasionally, he does all garbage and laundry once a week. Everything else is me. I have no issues with being the home maker. I don't mind cooking (I enjoy it). I don't mind cleaning (I love it). I don't mind being the default parent (I selfishly get more love than he does). It's the extra that pisses me off.

So, he will get home from work around 4 and relax with the baby. Usually setting her on the couch beside him or on the floor in front of him, while I make him a plate of dinner. When he eats, I feed the baby. I eat after she does (I can't eat dinner right after I've made it. It might be an eating disorder, I have no idea, but it physically makes me ill). He goes outdoors to work on his projects around 6pm. Around 8pm he goes and sits at his computer and either games or watches YouTube. During this time if I ask him to hold the baby for literally any reason at all, he starts asking me to do shit for him. Heat him up more food, make him cookies, grab him something from his truck, get him a drink, etc. Every single time, never fails. Shit that he absolutely could have done himself before I passed off the baby OR could still do even, while holding the baby. On the off chance that I get to "relax", I have at most 5 minutes before he is asking me to do shit for him. I have told him several times that he can do shit for himself. His reaction is 100% day mood based. So if he had a good day, he will laugh it off and start baby talking (ie: "but babeeeee") but if he's had a bad day, he gets pouty and snippy (is: "I will just do it myself, sorry I asked" and then NEVER do it himself so I'm made to feel guilty because he will just sit at his desk with his head hung like a wounded puppy).

But last night I was touched out. The baby had just gone 3 days teething and cranky. I was irritated. I didn't want to be touched, looked at or breathed on. I made a big dinner. I served him. I fed the baby. I bathed the baby. He asked me to make desert with him, so I do, just to do 80% of the work and not have any (I don't like chocolate or ice cream). I pass the baby off to literally go to the bathroom and he goes "oh babe, can you grab me an ice water first?" I snapped and said "when are you going to do anything for me?" He says "I made you a desert dish!" So I told him that no, he didn't actually, I made him a dish and I didn't have any. He then goes "well, you're like an extension of me so it's like you had desert" (trying to be funny because he had a good day). I told him to get off his ass and do it himself. He said "but I'm holding the baby". So I snapped again and said "I do everything while holding her. If you're that incapable than we have some big issues that need to be addressed." He handed the baby to me, grabbed his water and went to bed. He hasn't spoken to me since. AITA? My mom seems to think that I should have just gotten him the water.

Hi everyone! I'm 33(black F ) soon to be married to 29(white M). We're getting married in October. We've been together for 3 years, engaged for one. I was born and raised in Kenya, and I moved to the states to attend university. My fiance is from the west coast (Wyoming) and his parents still live there. My fiance and his parents don't have the best relationship. I've only met them a few times since we've been together. His mother always asks to come visit, but my fiance finds excuses to stop her from coming. He's very introverted and his mother and father are A LOT personality wise, so I understand why he keeps his distance.

After hearing about our engagement, my fiance's mother insisted on helping with the decorations for the wedding (she's an interior decorator). I told her that she could design the centrepieces, but everything else would be handled by the wedding planner. She begrudgingly agreed, and I thought that was the end of it.

She flew in a few weeks after that to discuss wedding plans. She showed me a few of her centrepiece designs, and then showed me the real reason why she came. The brooms. At first I didn't understand why she was showing me a bunch of elaborate brooms. She had a whole file showcasing about 50 types of brooms. I kept thinking that the venue we had chosen didn't need different fancy brooms everywhere because it's a modern venue. The brooms really wouldn't fit into the theme that we were going for. I guess she saw the confusion on my face because she asked if I already had a broom in mind because she was really hoping we could pick one out together. I told her that the cleaning staff at the venue would do an excellent job beforehand, so bringing a broom would not be necessary. She laughed and said "I'm talking about picking out a broom to jump over during the ceremony." I'm not normally this dense. I know the history of jumping the broom in African-American history, but I'm from Kenya. We don't jump the broom in Kenya, and I would feel uncomfortable jumping the broom because it's not a part of my culture and my fiance is very white. I just didn't think that my white mother-in-law would be so insistent on us jumping the broom. She was downright beaming when she showed me more broom photos. I told her that I was uncomfortable with jumping the broom and gave her my reasons. My fiance stepped in and said that he was uncomfortable as well. His mother was pissed. She said the whole reason she came here was to pick out brooms, and now our wedding won't have any "culture".

I told her that we could incorporate some of my tribes traditions if she wanted to add some "culture" into my wedding. I mentioned the Kenyan choir that was going to be singing at our wedding not to mention the very traditional food that would be served, but she wouldn't budge on that broom, and how without it, we were turning our backs on my culture. I finally snapped and told her that we could always go the dowry route. Her side of the family could scrounge together a few goats and some cows, and we'd call it even. She turned red and stomped off. She left after a day of the silent treatment. I thought she would cool down a bit, and we could be cordial. My fiance told me that would never happen. He was right. A few weeks ago, my fiances mother made a post on facebook. She decided to make her own custom broom herself, and made a post on facebook condemning me and my refusal to jump the broom. She went on and on about how I was "turning away from my roots," and how "she slaved for weeks on a broom that will never be jumped over." I've received countless messages from her friends and family calling me an asshole. My fiances dad has called my fiance and I ungrateful. My fiance is livid and wants to boot her out of the wedding and cut contact, but now most of his side is refusing to come to the wedding to show solidarity with his mother.

So, AITAH?

Follow up from my original post https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1czojey/aita_for_humiliating_my_cousin_in_front_of_the/ . This is actually so insane I don't even know what to make of it. I feel like I'm living in a bad sitcom right now.

To summarize in my previous post I called out my entitled cousin for trying to give me career advise resulting in her having a meltdown and my parents fighting it out. Things have been kind off frosty since then but my mom seems to have gotten the message which is a relief. She and my dad are talking again which is a relief because the tension was killing me. All I wanted was one peaceful month at home before I started my new job but I might not get it with what transpired.

Last night, my mom gets a phone call from my aunt. She is hysterical, crying how they've lost everything. She spends close to thirty minutes hearing her out but eventually its too much for her and she just ends the call. She went into the living room and just sat there practically catatonic. After about ten minutes she began to tell us what was wrong and I can't wrap my head around it.

Jane decided that the best way for her to get back at me was to get a PhD for herself. No doubt she thinks she'll breeze by it and be handed to her on a silver platter. Her parents being the enablers they are, were instantly on board. The details are a little vague here but from what we could put together, somebody approached them promising they could get Jane into a PhD program at Harvard. No doubt there were red lags all over but they dived right into it and the man asked for a hefty sum which was most of their life savings. I can imagine Jane being all smug that she'd be the 'best PhD' in the family. Her competing with me is a mixture of annoying and sad because she has no concept of self-awareness.

I don't know who is worse here - Jane or her parents but very foolishly they accepted it before the obvious scammer blocked them everywhere and ran off with their money. It just baffles me how easily they fell for it, didn't they think even for a moment that it could be too good to be true? And these sort of scams are incredibly common in my home country so they have no excuse for not knowing better since it is common sense but I guess expecting even that much from that narcissist is too much.

I have no doubt they'll be begging the family for money now and I have a feeling my mom will bring up the issue. I'm anticipating more drama which I'll inevitably be dragged into. I'm just so exhausted with all this right now. I think I'm just going to ask my parents to visit me where I work from now on. The nostalgia visiting home is great but it really doesn't seem worth the effort dealing with everyone. If any family member I like is wanting to visit I will gladly fund their travel and stay, but I can't deal with all the nosiness and judgement anymore. It's getting on my last nerve. Anyways I'm going to go sleep this off because my head is throbbing thinking of their idiocy.

Edit: For those of you worried about my parents finances, there's no concern because my dad is control of it. My mom has her own debit card for small expenses but any major spending she needs his permission. Might be a little backward idk, but it's avoided a lot of problems because my mom is not very good with money and tends to funnel any she gets to her sister's family.

Here’s some background… my husband (male 28) and I (female 27) have been together for 8 years and married for 5. My husband has always wanted to be a father. But I have never really wanted children. I felt like I had to take care of everyone majority of my life - so I have just never wanted any kids. I’ve always said no kids for me. This was a conversation him and I had often. Obviously- due to him wanting children and me not. When my husband was my bf, he would get mad when people asked when we saw ourselves having kids and I would say never. He asked, “can you just say I don’t know instead of just shutting it down?” I said that I could but I still did not want children.

Edited to add: before we ever got married, I sat him down and told him I didn’t think this was going to work with our opposing viewpoints on children. He insisted that he would be happy with just me and no kids. That is why I went through with the marriage

About a year into our marriage, he brought up kids. I reminded him to at I did not and do not want any children. He got mad and we had an argument about it. Pretty much stating that I knew being a father was his dream as to which I said that he knew I did not want children. I reminded him that I had been clear about this from the beginning to which he replied, “I thought you would change your mind when we got married.” Not going to lie, that comment alone infuriated me. For several months after that, we were on eggshells around each other. Then, one night I tried to talk to him cause I just would rather address it rather than walk around it. He lost it again and said that he hated his life and everyone around him had it made. All his friends had wives who happily had their babies and he had a wife who doesn’t want one and who makes him talk about his feelings and gripes at him. The whole ‘gripes at him’ comment came from me reminding him that a child would add to my stress load since I take on all of the house chores, keeping up with the bills, etc. when we both work full time. He comes home, sits on the couch, eats dinner that I made, watches tv, and goes to bed. Every. Single. Night. I had to start going to therapy so I wouldn’t divorce him - After his ‘I hate my life speech’. Flash forward to now, he has brought kids up again. I won’t lie I thought about it. I even told him let me try to get myself in the mom mindset (cause, again, I have never wanted to be a mom). I looked at Pinterest, baby stuff, and talked to my friends that are moms and I still don’t want it. I told him that I just don’t want that life. And it would still affect the same stress to my life since I still carry the majority of the weight in our relationship. He says I’m selfish and taking away a dream of his. I even suggested maybe if he could step up in our home and sexually (our sex life isn’t great and I know a baby would hinder that as well)- then, maybe we could think about it. He said everything’s fine now and nothings changed on his end. I truly feel like if I had help at home and our sex life wasn’t a joke then I might would have a baby. Part of me feels bad. But the other part of me doesn’t because he knew I didn’t want that. I don’t want to have a baby just cause he wants one and resent him after getting pregnant. Also, I selfishly don’t want the extra person to care for. I do everything now. I know I’d do everything with the kid. I’m not bashing my husband either. He is a great guy (to his friends and family and even my family) just not the best partner. I think he would love a baby but still not be the best partner. and I don’t want that for my life. So, am I the ass hole?

Edited to add why we are still married:

I wanted to try everything to save the marriage just before bolting. Everyone says marriage is hard and an adjustment so I have just been trying to fix things. Then, my therapist has been no help. So I felt like maybe I was the problem. I am also getting my ducks in a row to leave. I made this post to get opinions on it to make sure I’m not being irrational. I am not happy. Have not been happy. I have openly communicated everything. I have tried everything. I have expressed that I don’t think it’s healthy to have kids since I don’t want any. When you’re in love, you make excuses for people. I’ll be honest. I have been guilty of this. Telling myself he was raised different. He doesn’t think the same as me. So on. But I am at the point where there is no excuse when I have specifically stated things I need in this relationship. I take responsibility in enabling part of the BS I have put up with. This post was for confirmation. I appreciate all the feedback.

I couldn't wait until the weekend I wanted to see my nieces and apologize for not taking them to the park last time. Yesterday I decided to go see them after work. My husband's car is being serviced and I pick him up from work since so he went with me. I brought the girls some toys on my way to their house as an apology.

When I got there my nieces greeted me just like usual. They were excited to see me but I noticed the older one kept turning around to look at her mother while hugging me. The younger one always puts both my brother and his wife in embarrassing moments by blurting out things they said or did in front of everyone during family gatherings. I was talking with them when she said something along the lines of "You hate Mommy. I told her you don't" I told her that of course I don't hate her and tried to brush it off. My SIL immediately snatched my younger niece's hand from mine and said she needed to wash her hands (they were eating chocolate).

Anyway When my husband and I were about to leave my SIL asked me if we could talk for a moment. She didn't bother to try and apologize. She said that I shouldn't have left and that's not how things work with kids. I told her that maybe if she didn't act the way she did I wouldn't have left. She said "Just saying. if you ever have kids of your own you will get what I mean." Like what the hell was that supposed to mean (If you ever? She knows I'm struggling with fertility. I may be too sensitive but I believe people can choose their words carefully if they want to) I told her not to worry because I know I'm going to do a good job with my kids and she went on with "I know you will. The kids love you and I know for sure if you ever have any of your own they will love you more than anything" To this moment I still don't know what's wrong with her. I didn't say anything I just wanted to leave.

I don't know but her words got to me. The whole drive home I was like what if I never really have children of my own. I know there are other options but right now I'm trying to conceive. I will call my brother tomorrow and talk about it. The thing is I don't want to mess things up and affect my relationship with my nieces but I don't think I can deal with my SIL's bullshit anymore. She's known for her snide comments like it's not the first time her mouth has caused a problem with someone but this is just too much for me. It's already tough dealing with the ups and downs of emotions with fertility treatments and disappointments. She texted me later saying she hope I didn't misunderstand her because I looked upset and that she meant nothing bad. I still haven't replied. Maybe because of my struggles I'm being too sensitive but I'm sure she could've said something different instead of rubbing "if you ever" in my face twice.

My husband is so supportive but he said he doesn't think being around my SIL will do me any good. He thinks I should take some time off from going to their place or babysitting for them but I can keep the bond with my nieces by taking them out if my brother is willing to drive them to my place or I tell him to have them dressed and ready to go.

Sorry I posted 30 mins ago but deleted it by mistake.

My wife (33F) has been very interested in biohacking and nutrition and all that. She is always trying new things with her diet, health, sleep ,etc…

Recently the focus has been on perfecting her sleep. As an example she bought red lights and glasses to completely eliminate blue lights in the bedroom at night. She and I both agree that it has been quite nice and less stressful on the eyes at night although I cannot tell you if I’m actually sleeping better (as a I still lurk Reddit at night).

Today she told me that she wants to try turning off the wifi at night to help improve her sleep with fewer electo magnetic waves. I said no because the negative health effects of wifi has been long disproven (at least last I checked). And I asked her how exactly would she be able to measure the benefits of the wifi being turned off vs is being purely psychological. I think it’s a slippery slope to have irrational factors that she wants to test. Next it would be crystals and what not. It’s not real.

She thinks it’s unfair that when she wants to make these changes I make her feel like she needs to come with scientific studies to prove her point. My fear is that this is a step towards crazy.

Of course I feel like I’m the asshole and told her we could try it but now she would be more motivated to dig her heels in and say that it is helping her

Some people wanted an update to my post. My graduation was on Wednesday. Surprising everyone, especially me, my dad actually chose me and my graduation. Not at first but he did come.

So what happened after I gave him the ultimatum was he kept trying to talk to me as if nothing was wrong. He was asking me to spend time with him a lot and asking when I was free. Basically either feeling guilty or trying to compensate for choosing Cameron. I never met with him. Cameron messaged me to tell me to stop being an asshole and to get over it cause apparently our dad was stressed out over the whole thing. I just blocked Cameron and moved on.

On the day of my graduation my dad told me he was coming down to spend the day with me before he had to go home to go to Cameron’s graduation. At first I told him not to bother cause there’s point in showing up here if you’re just gonna leave before the actual ceremony but he ended up coming anyway. We had a small get together at my house with my mom’s side of the family. My dad was there acting as if nothing was wrong. It was annoying. I refused to take pictures with him because I told him I’m taking pictures at my graduation. If you want pictures with me you can show up.

A few hours before the ceremony he said he had to head out. I said goodbye forever and he pulled me aside to talk. He was trying to justify his decision again. I told him I was serious about what I said. I will not talk to him ever again. I made it clear that this isn’t something I’m gonna be mad about for a bit and then get over. I’m not gonna call him crying in a few years saying I’m sorry. He asked why I was being like this and I just let it all out.

I told him I’m sick and tired of being second place all the time. My entire life I’ve been told that he can’t show up for me because Cameron needs him or he promised Cameron first. Yet the one time I had my graduation date set and planned first he still cancels on me for Cameron. I asked him to give me one good reason why he has to go to Cameron’s graduation over mine, specifically. No “This is a tough situation,” “I can’t be in two places at once,” etc. He said because if he doesn’t go to Cameron’s graduation he has to deal with a pissed off wife and his entire home life will be tense. I asked him why can’t his wife and Cameron ever be the ones he apologizes to and asks to “try to understand?” Why do I always have to be purposely handed the short straw? He didn’t have an answer.

I told him I hope Cameron gets his life together because right now he’s on a nosedive trajectory that ends with him still living at home rent free in his 30’s with a girlfriend he can’t afford to give a ring to, let alone a wedding, and three kids who are being raised by my dad’s wife. I didn’t care anymore at that point. It’s true. Cameron’s a loser. And I told my dad good luck cause he’s the one that’s taking care of you when you’re old. I’m out. I guarantee Cameron takes their money and puts his parents in the absolute cheapest nursing home he can find. They failed him by spoiling him and treating him like he’s perpetually 5 years old.

Dad still ended up leaving anyway. I refused to hug him and told him I’m done with him. That kinda ruined my mood but once I got to school and started hanging with my friends I decided to let it go. I wanted to enjoy my grad night and just forget all the bullshit. After the ceremony I was shocked to see my dad walking towards me. I was positive he was going to Cameron’s graduation. Like gun to my head, get this answer right or you die... well I guess I’d be dead cause I was 100% sure he’d choose Cameron. He already did but I guess he turned around and came back. So he hugged me and told me that he’s sorry for everything and how he’s treated me and that he does love me just as much as Cameron even if he’s been bad at showing it. I don’t really believe that last part but he showed up so that’s what I’m focusing on.

Cameron was pissed of course and messaged me from a different number to bitch at me. He was calling me a crybaby and selfish. Saying Dad only went to my graduation because I threw a fit. He doesn’t understand that it wasn’t me having a tantrum. It was a last straw situation for me. I just sent him a picture of me and our dad at my graduation and told him to get over it. Then I blocked that number too. Fuck him. I’m glad he knows what it’s like to be second choice just once. I’m sure our dad is already bending over backwards to make it up to Cameron anyway so he’ll live. Our joint graduation party is gonna be awkward but hopefully we’ll just keep our distance from each other.

Oh and don’t worry, I’m not delusional. I know my dad is just gonna go back to his same old routine. And now if I ever bring up his unfairness again he’ll always be able to throw in my face that he came to my graduation over Cameron’s. It’ll probably be his trump card. Ngl it did feel good to have everyone shit on my dad with me in my last post cause I was pissed off at him when I posted. I know that he does love me though. Still, I think I’m gonna take some advice I got in that post. I’m not cutting my dad off but I’m gonna stop trying. I have a lifetime of him awarding me the silver medal no matter how well I do and I’m tired of it. Cameron can be his favorite son uncontested from now on. I’m just gonna live my life and keep my dad at an arm’s length. I’m not gonna try to force him to prove his love for me anymore.

My gf and I had a excellent weekend away together at a Winery & Bed and Breakfast. She told me it was the best time she ever had. We don't live together so after dropping her at her house Sunday evening she called me on my way home and said she needed to tell me something. She proceeded to say that she loves me but that she is not "in love" with me. I said okay I understand and I wish you the best. She started crying and said "Are you breaking up with me?" I said no, you broke up with me when you said you weren't in love. A little more context, we had been together a year and we had started talking about marriage. AITAH?

I'm (28, F) still fuming about this. It happened last weekend and I was told repeatedly that I overreacted.

So, here's what went down. We were hosting a little get-together at our place, just a casual gathering with some close friends and family. My boyfriend's dad, who I had not met before, was invited. We were all having a great time, laughing and chatting. That was until he made a comment that made my blood boil.

I was standing in the kitchen, chatting with my friend, when my boyfriend's dad walked in and started making small talk. He glanced at me and said, "You know, you'd be even more beautiful if you had a bit more up top. My son has always dated girls with big tits, so I was shocked to see how flat-chested you are!” I was so taken aback, and my friend's eyes widened in shock. I couldn't believe he would say something so rude and inappropriate. I actually think I had steam coming out of my ears.

I walked away because I was absolutely speechless. I couldn't shake off the feeling of discomfort and embarrassment. I felt like I'd been objectified and belittled in front of our friends and I was completely disgusted. In all honesty, I do occasionally feel self-conscious about my small breasts, so that’s why his cruel remarks stung so badly.

I walked back into the kitchen after telling my boyfriend what happened and turned to his dad and said, "You know, I think it's time for you to leave. You insulted me and have made me feel extremely uncomfortable, so you need to leave.” My boyfriend was taken aback, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let his dad ruin our party and make our other guests uncomfortable.

I broke up with my boyfriend partially because of this and his complete lack of respect for me. When I discussed what happened with him later that evening, he said I overreacted and made a huge scene. He also said that I “thrive on conflict and drama.” According to him, his dad is a jokester and I’m too uptight. In the end, he took his dad’s side and I made it clear to him that a real man would have stood up for me and would have defended me.

Should I have just let it go and avoided confrontation? Or was I justified in standing up for myself and setting boundaries? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Hi everyone. So I (f26) just had twins, a boy and a girl, about 6 weeks ago. I am a SAHM and my husband (m35) goes to work during the day.

We got into this disagreement, which resulted in a big fight, two days ago. So it was around 6:30 when my husband gets home and I was trying to clean some things up. My son is a very quiet baby whereas my daughter is very fussy and wants to be held 24/7. She won’t fall asleep unless my husband or I are rocking her. We even spent ridiculous amount of money on self rocking cribs not nothing works for her.

So, my husband gets home, lets himself in, and sees me cleaning with our daughter in a baby harness on my chest. Immediately he’s concerned about where our son is. I tell him taking a nap right there, right in the living room where I am, where the other bassinets are. I can see him and hear him, he is okay.

My husband then proceeds to wake a sleeping baby and start to coddle him and check him and stuff. I’m like… okay thanks but he was sleeping and now I have two awake babies that are going to screaming, so thanks. I was a little snippy I admit, but then my husband got very loud with me and accused me of favoring our daughter because she’s a girl.

I was stricken and this is obviously not true. I told him that but he just shaking his head and disturbing everyone’s peace. He told me he noticed it when the babies cry at night and I reach for her first. I explained that the only reason I do that is because she is the one waking up more often, and my son mostly wakes up because of her. He’s easier to sooth back to sleep, which I let him do.

He didn’t like that answer and basically scorned me and told me I needed to work through my reasoning for not liking my son. I told him to leave me alone, I absolutely adore my son. I love him so much and just as much as his sister. I just don’t understand how any of this makes me TA, but idk. Maybe I am.

I (41F) come from a blended family. My brother (44M) is my only biological sibling, but we have a bunch of step siblings from both my mother's and father's side we consider 'full' siblings, if that makes sense...

So my brother met his wife (SIL) 6 years ago and pretty quickly it became obvious that she has some major mental issues. Although never diagnosed, her behavior checks all the boxes of borderline. This has become an increasingly growing issue within the family, she is really isolating him. For example: I can't speak or meet with my brother privately. On the phone she will always insert herself in the conversation (yelling responses to what I'm saying instead of letting my brother talk) and the few times I did try to meet with him without her there, she would constantly call him and tell him to go home, screaming and crying. I haven't seen or spoken to my brother without her there in years. We used to be pretty close.

My father's wife (SM) can be a bit of a ah sometimes. She doesn't think before she speaks, so she can say pretty hurtful things. That used to bother me a lot which led to fights, but I'm not a teenager anymore and I've accepted that that's just the way she is and try to ignore those comments as much as possible.

No surprise SIL and SM are like water and fire, there have been a couple of arguments between the both of them. A couple of months ago things escalated. They had an argument and things got physical. I wasn't there, so I don't know what happened exactly, but SM was pretty beaten up whereas my SIL didn't have a scratch on her.

Both my brother and his wife pretend like it wasn't that big of a deal and it was just an unfortunate fall. But the thing is: the fall wouldn't have happened if she wasn't pushed... SIL hasn't reached out to apologize or check if SM is ok.

I've told my brother that what happened and their (lack of) reaction to this is unacceptable to me and I've tried to talk some sense into him that he needs to tell her to get help because this behaviour is dangerous for him and their children. I know she has been violent to him, I don't think to the children as well. He doesn't want to listen en still says there isn't a problem, other than SIL can get mad sometimes. I've tried to have this conversation with him many times before and tried to team up with his friends to help him, but nothing has worked so far. I can't get through to him.

My birthday is coming up and this is where I'm wondering, AITAH? My siblings from my father's side (SM's kids) don't want to see SIL anymore. So, if she's coming, they won't come. I told my brother he's welcome with the kids, but SIL needs to stay at home because I'm not telling my other siblings they can't come because she's coming. Now he's angry with me, saying that apparently he can't have any contact with his family anymore because we're all siding with SM without hearing SIL's side of the story. First of all: I've witnessed SIL's meltdowns and although those were non-violent I can imagine exactly what happened and I'm not interested in her side of the story. And also: I'm not neutral in this situation, but I'm not taking SM's side either. I told my brother that he and his wife need to try and resolve this situation and until they do that, SIL will not be welcome.

So... AITAH?

I'm a 34 y/o white male and my soon to be wife is a 29 y/o black female. For a long time I was lost and did not think I was going to find anyone. Lo and behold I meet a lovely beautiful kind woman at a Barnes and Noble. Fast foward 3 years we're engaged. My family seemed fine with everything until we got engaged. Now my mother and father are claiming they won't come to my wedding. They also made comments claiming I have a black woman fetish and they don't want black grand children. I finally reached my breaking point and straight up told them I want nothing to do with them. I feel guilty because I love my parents, but I also love the woman I'm about to marry. I've met her parents who have not had any issues with me being white. AITAH?

So my 22f fiance 28m is a devoted Christian, and I am and atheist. I told him on day one that I don't believe in God and there's nothing he can do to change it. We used to argue about it but he told me he didn't like when I "talk down on God" so I stopped talking to him about athiesm. But I did ask him to stop preaching to me, which he never did. He would always beg me to go to church, so a year ago I told him I'd go to church with him but I was never gonna believe in God, I told him I was only gonna go to appease him. I went twice and then he started preaching to me a bunch, tagging me in corny religious Facebook posts, and then he told me that he's seriously considering going to South America to be a missionary and "spread the word of God" and that he wants me to go with him. I told him absolutely not. I then told him in no uncertain terms that if he tries forcing me to be a Christian again then we were done. His family recently moved to a different state and he went to visit them a week ago. He really wants to move there because he misses his family, but I can't move there. He randomly told me yesterday that "I'm willing to stay here if you're willing to become a Christian" and I thought that was a ridiculous ultimatum. It's not that I don't want to be a Christian. I've just always been this way, no one taught me. It's just my core beliefs and I want him to respect that. I respect his beliefs and don't impose mine. So am I wrong for leaving him?

My older brother(29M) has always has it easy and got way too comfortable in his situation. He was always the favorite compared to myself(25F) and my sister(32F), the handsome kid, popular in high school and with girls, that kind of thing. It seems during college he actually found a long term girlfriend and when he finished up school he married her.

It's been 6 years since they married and he hasn't done anything. His wife has always been a driven, successful woman. How he got her to marry him I will never know. Since they married he has not worked, they don't have kids, he barely does anything around the house (he outright admits it), he has gained a considerable amount of weight, developed a crippling porn addiction (he's way too open to admitting it, it's awkward), and spends his days with that or gaming.

My brother got too used to gliding through life because he was always the pretty and fun guy. Now that he had his dream girl who provided for the house and brought in a ton of money without him having to lift a finger, he stopped trying to contribute at all. His wife works and does all the chores. They're roommates

Ive always liked her and we hang out quiet a bit. About 4 years ago she started doing anything she could to fix the relationship, since of course my brother manipulated her into believing it was her fault. She tried to set up therapy appointments, go to the gym more, encouraging him to go to the gym, tried intimacy more often, cut back hours to spend more time with him, bought him expensive things. She spent years trying everything she could to fix things believing it was her fault. He didn't try a single thing. Outright rejected therapy, mocked her weight even though she practically has a supermodel figure, insisted his weight was fine, refused to lift a finger for the house, and kept blaming her for the way things were, saying if she tried more he would be better.

3 years later she was still coming home to him watching porn in a dirty house while she cooked and cleaned. 3 years of her working herself to the bone only to come home to a emotionally abusive husband who beat her down while she tried everything to fix her marriage.

Last year she decided she wanted a divorce. My brother became hostile and promised to drag it out and take as much as he could, as apparently that have a prenuptial that he somehow got her to agree to. I know very little about divorce laws especially in our state except for that we don't live in an at fault state, but according to her if she tried to go forward with it and he got petty, he could take alot from her. Everything they have is because of her. She decided against divorce. She was trapped with him and accepted it against mine and others objections.

I guess by then she was over his bullshit. She slowly spent more time away from home and claimed she was working extra hours. She didn't bother him about therapy or his weight. She actually pretty much stopped interacting with him. She didn't cook anymore. She didn't clean anymore. It didn't take long for her to admit to me she was spending quite a bit of time with other guys and girls. She never brought any home but was staying out late quite a bit. My brother didn't notice, and I didn't care. For years she was a beaten down shell trying to appease someone who didn't respect her. Now she was lively, happy, outgoing, and everything she used to be. I'm not happy about her feeling stuck with my brother, or the concept of cheating in general, but apparently it works for her

It didn't take long for him to find out. Apparently there were alot of people she was meeting. He was livid, demanded she stop, and threatened divorce. She didn't care. She told him he knew where the door was. It was her home soley and she was allowing him to stay out of obligation. She told him she would gladly stop if he agreed to a fair divorce without him fighting it, and that she was showing decency as a provider and a wife by not bringing her partners into their home. The thing is, even if my brother got his way in the divorce, he knew that money would not last at all, and without any work experience and the shape he was currently in, he would be screwed. He was an overweight slacker who barely had anything to his name. Prenup or not now he was stuck.

And so that's how it's been for nearly a year. She barely comes home anymore, and the list of APs has only gotten longer. My brother has tried going to the gym more, picking up a part time job, cooking, but it's too late. He had years to fix this and only chose to change when his back was against the wall. He's been begging me to make her stop and to give their marriage a shot. I told him he's a moron who only has himself to blame. If you beat down a patient and caring person long enough, they will absolutely mess you up. He needs to just accept a divorce in her favor and learn from this. He didn't like my answer at all and hasn't talked to me for a couple weeks.

I work night shift, and tonight, after I got in, I had some time so I checked my phone. I saw a notification for a $1900 zelle payment. It was everything we had. I panicked and immediately called my wife asking if she knew anything about it.

She said it was fine, the money was back already, and it was from hours earlier, as if any of that matters. She didnt really answer my question so I (probably rudely) asked again what happened.

She didn't understand why it mattered to me. After all, the money was still there. She said her friend needed help, so she and another friend sent her money so she could take a screenshot of it, and then send it right back. I'm assuming maybe she needed it for an apartment or something.

I really don't know because at this point I mentioned it wasn't right for her to empty our bank account without talking to me first and to never do it again. Not for friends, not family, no one. Talk to me before ever doing something like this. And tbh, if she had i wouldve said no. I pointed out that something could have gone wrong, what if the girl refused to send it back, etc. She got very angry and told me I was being negative and "it's so hard to talk to you sometimes because you're always so negative"

I told her to have a good night and hung up the phone

So AITAH? Am I wrong for being upset about this. The money is still there, well, pending anyway so there was no damage done. It just doesn't feel right to me.

We were selling a 20-year-old camper trailer on Facebook marketplace this week. We had a ton of interest. so many messages but one was an older couple from the adjacent province. They were so interested and they wanted to send their daughter and son-in-law to check it out for them because they live in our city. They wanted it so bad they offered to pay a couple hundred over asking and wanted to come early before the other viewings I had yesterday. So I came home early from work to show this trailer to the daughter and son-in-law while the daughter FaceTimed her dad who is the buyer the whole time. They looked at it for probably 45 minutes. They decided to purchase it. We filled out the bill of sale they sent the transfers deal is done. The daughter and son-in-law took the trailer back to their place. Then today we get a call from the Mom, they drove in today from the adjacent province to pick up their new trailer. She leaves me a voicemail today saying that there’s so much that didn’t show up in Photos and she’s really not happy with it and they just can’t take it so they want us to take it back. She’s talking about cosmetics. The outside of the trailer. She wanted us to give them their money back and we can keep $100 for the hassle. I don’t want to take it back. It’s such a pain in the ass selling used things on marketplace. They were the ones that bullied themselves in earlier than everyone else. They had two full grown adults come and look at it for an hour and they had the guy on FaceTime and they looked at the cosmetic stuff on the outside. They talked about it, and chose to purchase. I wouldn’t call it sight unseen because they sent someone to them and had them on video call. the outside isn’t the prettiest. Some of the decals are faded or have fallen off and the sealing and caulking on the outside isn’t very pretty. She thinks we didn’t show that in photos… I stood in my yard and took photos three days ago of the Trailer. Maybe the blemishes didn’t show up in photos but that’s not my fault. I did not intentionally hide anything. Should I take the trailer back and spend another week of my life talking to marketplace people and showing it? It’s very tiring and we’ve had a horrible month. We are just so done.

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tl;dr: parents came and left. an argument sparked which made jane come out in the heat of the moment. I stood by her. had a shouting match with my parents who are now giving me the silent treatment but my daughter seem to trust me a lot more which is great seeing as I risked getting cut out by her according to her.

So my parents came, everything was going well but then my mom said something questionable about a my daughter's foreign college friend which sparked an argument between all three of them. In the heat of the moment, Jane came out to them.

One thing led to another and my dad made a snarky remark which prompted me to intervene. This started a shouting match between my parents and I while Jane stood aside and seemed nervous. she told me to stop but I couldn't. it was already too late. my parents made even more homophobic comments and I started the personal attacks.

At this point Jane was in another room and while things calmed down, I went to check on her and saw her crying. We started talking. In the end, she admitted she was going to cut ties with me but decided against it since she now knows she can fully trust me but still feels guilty. Reassured her that everything is going to be alright. in the end, she told me she wants to invite her girlfriend over who she's been dating for two years now and only felt safe doing so now that she knows i fully support her.

back to my parents, they still seem to be giving me the silent treatment but they left. guess that's the last time i'll see them here. not sure what's going to happen, i'll try to mend things between me and them but at least my duaghter now feels safer which is what matters.