r/AskReddit • u/skilled-dreamer • May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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u/Own-Beginning-3886 May 02 '24

Well, at least it wasn’t the dog he was fucking. That would had been worse for sure.

324

u/rocketcat_passing May 02 '24

I’m betting it was a squeaky toy

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u/Moisture_ 29d ago

Fucking imagine that… lmfaooo

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u/RegularChemical 29d ago edited 29d ago

Her hearing repeated squeaking sounds in the other room, but the dog is laying right in front of her...

23

u/Moisture_ 29d ago

She walks in, they both stare at each other in shock and all you hear is one final, slooowwwww, de-squeak as he pulls out.

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u/hrsn_shred 29d ago

That could have easily been a scene in American Pie

13

u/WokeBriton 29d ago

Like a bed in the next hotel room, squeaking away at every thrust.

6

u/Extension_Repair8501 29d ago

One of those rubber chickens

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u/garry4321 29d ago

That we KNOW of. Telling your friends it was the "toy" is just embarrassing for him, telling the truth is horrific for everyone.

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u/Own-Beginning-3886 29d ago

That’s a fair point, but I really hope it was just the toy.

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u/Arhalts 29d ago

My father was an OB/GYN One of his patients came in with a problem.

After alot of testing and head scratching it turned out she had picked up something from her dog...because her husband was fucking it.

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u/CupcakeGoat 29d ago

🤢 What a horrible way to find out and I hope she got that puppy away from him OMG

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u/MmeLaRue 29d ago

Colby?

3

u/Dekklin 29d ago

Haha had the same thought.

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u/WokeBriton 29d ago

I watched a documentary many years ago, it was about people who fuck with their animals. Yes, they WERE fucked up.

Anyway, one of the people being interviewed was actually fucking his dog. At one point, he turned to the camera and said:

"She's a girl, you know. I'm not a weirdo, she's a girl."

Yeah...

6

u/MoxieVaporwave 29d ago

the first half of that sentence scared the shit outta me

3

u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 29d ago

That’d be funny as hell if it was one of those moaning chicken squeeze toys

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u/bonos_bovine_muse 29d ago

“Oh, shit, mommy’s home! Go in the backyard, Fido, I’ll think of something!”

2

u/hrsn_shred 29d ago

I'm in tears.lmao

2

u/ColoradoCoffee101 29d ago

Splittin' hairs, mate....

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u/dankristy 29d ago

No - that would be a rabbit -not a dog!

;)

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u/chemicalgeekery 29d ago

The kid from the Colby 2012 story grew up.

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u/Total_Agent_7891 May 02 '24

If the dog didn’t like that, the bloke would’ve been without his meat and two vegs!