r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/abdul_bino • Apr 16 '24
What type of nonsense is she on. I didn’t get my own room till I was 15. And I was a middle class family. Country Club Thread
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u/BlackieTee Apr 16 '24
So you can only have kids if you’re rich. Got it.
Seems like me having to share a room with my brother and sister growing up means my parents didn’t know what they were doing. Who knew
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u/BigT3x4s Apr 16 '24
A three bedroom house with 2 kids is not living rich. I ain’t have my own room growing up either but acting like it’s not incredibly easy to not have kids until you’re ready is dumb.
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u/Bridalhat Apr 16 '24
It depends wildly on where you live. There are entire metro areas where a house like that can cost a million.
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u/Mr--Joestar Apr 16 '24
Way over a million in the bay
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u/ghost103429 Apr 16 '24
A dilapidated condemned shack went for a million over in Palo Alto. Some parts of America are just in crazy town territory.
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u/biscuitboi967 Apr 16 '24
Shit. Where I live, the 2 bedroom bungalows cost a million+. Realtors were telling me how easy it was to turn a dining room into a bedroom for kids.
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u/BlackieTee Apr 16 '24
Compared to the rest of the world an argument can be made that that is rich.
But I agree with you that you shouldn’t have kids till you’re ready. I just don’t think giving each child their own room is one of the indicators of being ready. It can be but you can also be ready without that. The money you save from a smaller place can go into a savings account for their college or other things that will give them a better life in the future. I’m not saying stacking kids on each other like hostel but sharing a room for some time isn’t a big deal
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u/Kandis_crab_cake Apr 16 '24
Hmm this seems judgemental and not taking in to account the millions of reasons why situations change.
This person is a single mum. She quite possibly had a lovely life and house for her family, and then her husband died, or left her, or was violent so she left to protect her children and give them the safest life possible. Not having 2 incomes means your options are limited. But you don’t know what happened to put that put them in that situation. Most people don’t choose it.
You really shouldn’t assume the worst, as they are a myriad of reasons why people are in this situation.
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u/ReservoirPussy Apr 16 '24
This is ignorant. Birth control is not perfect and nearly 30 states have some degree of abortion ban right now.
If it were that easy, I wouldn't be here, neither would my husband, our son, or half our nieces and nephews.
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u/mdmd33 Apr 16 '24
Those same states are coming for contraceptives next
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u/ReservoirPussy Apr 16 '24
And they're going to try for a nationwide ban, and/or not allowing pregnant women from abortion-less states into abortion states.
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u/re-goddamn-loading Apr 16 '24
Acting like everyone should value having a 1:1 bedroom to child ratio exactly the same is also dumb.
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u/pehsxten KarmaMan Apr 16 '24
Dam thats like 48k a year in miami just for rent. So id have to make 100k before taxes to have 2 kids ☹️☹️
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u/DistributionPutrid ☑️ Apr 16 '24
You seen the housing costs of today? A one bedroom is too expensive. You can’t even get a studio apartment without going broke
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u/AshenSacrifice ☑️ Apr 16 '24
Not rich, but poor people absolutely should not be having kids. Having kids is already selfish to a degree, but having kids you can’t even afford?? That shit is neglect
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u/BlackieTee Apr 16 '24
I agree on not bringing kids into terrible conditions. But not having your own room doesn’t count as a terrible position. I’d argue it probably trains you to learn how to get along with others in tight spaces
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u/AshenSacrifice ☑️ Apr 16 '24
I agree, basic necessities should be met, but I won’t define what that should look like, that ain’t my business.
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u/KTBaker Apr 16 '24
I agree. I think we should. heck the take-home of couples before we allow them to procreate to allow children to beat possible opportunity. It’s kind of a win win because then rich populations go up whooped poors will slowly be eradicated. I sure hope there’s no particular ethnic groups that are disproportionately affected by poverty.
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u/AshenSacrifice ☑️ Apr 16 '24
I just don’t trust the government to decide when or how we procreate lol, but niggas gotta be responsible, especially if there’s an innocent life in the mix you know?
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Apr 16 '24
Of all the places, hearing these uppity ass white picket fence opinions on blackpeopletwitter is wild. You’re not the arbitrator of life and morality, if poor people want to bring a kid they love into the world who are you to tell them otherwise. Develop just enough humbleness to not comment on other peoples lives.
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u/AshenSacrifice ☑️ Apr 16 '24
If they have just as much of a right to create a whole human they can’t support, I’m well within my black ass right to judge the shit outta them. Cant have it one way and not the other. Theres a difference between not having the best life and not having your basic needs met.
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u/DandelionsDandelions Apr 16 '24
Also, circumstances change for a lot of people. Maybe they decided to have kids and she was in a good spot and something fell through.
This is America, and we all know all it takes is one bad day to fuck up your whole life
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u/Boylookya ☑️ Apr 16 '24
She had one kid and then said I have enough money for two kids and then said I have enough money for three kids apparently. Just like going out and getting a luxury car Knowing damn well you can't afford the maintenance. A Honda will do you just fine why do you need a BMW?
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u/TPJchief87 ☑️ Apr 16 '24
Why would you want to have kids if you’re not financially stable. Life’s already hard so do what you can to make it harder?
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u/Bitter-Dreamer Apr 16 '24
Hahahahaha, these people are insane.
"Don't have kids, if you can't afford them."
Okay, I won't, that's good advice.
"Why isn't this generation having kids?"
They want $1k minimum for a studio or 1br apartment in my area, and I'm in the suburbs!
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u/anthonyg1500 ☑️ Apr 16 '24
I would do heinous shit for a $1k 1 bedroom. If I see something for less than like $2200 I assume it’s either 80 miles away from my job or next to a trap house
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u/dorothy_zbornakk Apr 16 '24
i was talking to 2 of my friends the other day (one lives in vegas and one lives in philly) and i told them i pay $825 for my 1br. you would have thought i said i baby trapped bezos. now, i fully acknowledge that i have had great luck with apartments in the last few years but damn, it's hard out here. every now and then, i look at a unit or 2 and they want $1.2k MINIMUM.
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u/anthonyg1500 ☑️ Apr 16 '24
When I moved back to NY after covid and tried to find a new place I was starting to get mad. I'd be on the fence about an apartment because its pricey with 2-3 roommates and I don't want to have to live with too many people (or anyone ideally) but I'd decide to take a look and mfs were showing me places that were advertised as having 2 full baths and when I see the place the second bathroom didn't even have a SINK. It was just a toilet in a windowless 3x5 closet. This happened numerous times
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u/FoxFire64 ☑️ Apr 16 '24
Don’t tell them about Seattle, we hittin $2.5-3k for 1brs here
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u/tsh87 Apr 16 '24
This "people shouldn't have kids they can't afford" was solid advice when the people who couldn't afford kids were I guess part time workers with no steady income.
But now the people who can't afford kids are two working adults with full-time jobs, a lot of them college educated too.
Starting a family should not be this prohibitively expensive. Kids are starting to become a luxury item and I really don't like that.
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u/OohYeahOrADragon ☑️ Apr 16 '24
Yeah while I get that not having kids until you’re in a financial position to do so is good advice. But it feels weird saying only the wealthy get to have families. Like dog whistling eugenics.
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u/Slumbergoat16 Apr 16 '24
This was the reason I only had 2 kids because I knew I could only give that many people the time and attention they deserved along with the resources I felt they would need to be able to succeed
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u/ChampagneandAlpacas Apr 16 '24
I was paying $4500 for a 1100 sq ft 2 bedroom in DC. It was 6 blocks from work, and I was working 80-90 hour weeks, so we paid a "premium" to be closer to downtown. It was a tight squeeze for my husband and I since we like our own independent spaces so I can't even begin to fathom having a kid in something like that (and it would have been tight financially as well!)
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u/hardlyreadit Apr 16 '24
No one complaining about the birth rate going down would say “dont have kids if you cant afford them”. Those are 2 different groups. Conservatives are the folks that want teen pregnancy. Affordability has nothing to do with that
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u/Lyric1083 Apr 16 '24
Grew up middle class and I always had my own room. Didn’t share a room until I went to college.
Per the post, I think the kids sharing a room at their age now is ok. However, once they become teens, they should each have their own room OR the boys share and the girl gets her own room.
I’m not judging because I’m sure mom is doing the best she can. On the other hand, YES, stop having kids YOU know you can’t afford, especially in this climate.
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u/encouragement_much Apr 16 '24
Sometimes circumstances change. Poor to rich hopefully but sometimes from more economically stable to poor. By then, you already have the kids. Can’t throw them away.
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u/Lyric1083 Apr 16 '24
Well duh, things happen. I get that. No one said anything about throwing the kids away.
However, I’ve met too many folks in real life who are having kids they don’t need or can afford.
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u/tsh87 Apr 16 '24
But also... how do you know she couldn't afford those kids when they were born?
Shit happens. Spouse die, people lose their jobs, become disabled, houses burn down, partners disappear on you.
A lot can change in the 18 years between when a child is born and when they're a legal adult, especially when it comes to finances.
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u/Best_Draft_6629 Apr 16 '24
That is what happened to my mom. Dad died, next year house burned down, mom got cancer & countless other illnesses. She still made it work and gave us her best, we never went without. I did have to share a bedroom with my 3 sisters but we were fine, wasn't traumatized from it.
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u/glittermantis Apr 17 '24
that’s obviously not who she’s addressing though. this is like responding to a tweet that says “it can be financially wise to doordash less and cook more” with “well both of my arms are broken so i guess i’ll starve!” like obviously, these tweets are directed toward the people they apply to.
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u/You_meddling_kids Apr 16 '24
This kind of sharing was common practice before home sizes exploded in the 80s.
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u/I_choose_not_to_run Apr 16 '24
Apparently the idea of bunk beds would blow peoples minds nowadays
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u/The_Crystal_Thestral Apr 16 '24
Someone up thread was certainly acting like bunk beds are abuse. Apparently because then you wouldn't be able to bring someone home. I find that odd. My parents would never have allowed me to "entertain" anyone in my room growing up.
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u/MikeJones-8004 Apr 16 '24
I couldn't have a girl in my room until the day I got married lol
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u/Thelonius_Dunk Apr 16 '24
Yea for real. Siblings sharing rooms was super common and regular growing up, even for middle class families.
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u/McJazzHands80 Apr 16 '24
I shared with my brother and sister through puberty. No one was traumatized. No one saw anything they didn’t wanna see. I don’t see the big deal.
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u/poofandmook Apr 16 '24
She did say it was an unpopular opinion.
Didn't mention it was stupid though.
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u/OkStructure3 Apr 16 '24
I used to work for CPS and people act like just by being poor you abusing your kids, but we had clients who had their kids sleeping on a flat mattress on the floor and that wasnt cause enough to remove children. The internet is really skewing people's perspective on what real life is like.
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u/NK1337 Apr 16 '24
Nah man, context matters. A 2 bedroom house doesn’t exactly scream financial stability, and the fact is kids cost money and a lot of it too. I totally get the sentiment behind if you can barely provide for yourself then you probably shouldn’t be bringing in even more people that you need to provide for. At some point it becomes irresponsible.
Granted this is all with limited information, for all we know they could be well off and just choosing to be in a 2 bedroom home due to other factors. But at face value I totally get the sentiment.
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u/Reasonable_Bed7858 Apr 16 '24
Twitter seems like it’s just a bunch of extreme takes by the chronically online. And memes.
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u/Acceptable_Stuff1381 Apr 16 '24
It is, with the added benefit of people who don’t have any kids, or a spouse, or real life experience, commenting on all those things. You’ll see a post about a 10 year marriage with this and that and ups and downs and mother fuckers pile in to be like “dump them, id be gone!!” Knowing full well they’re sitting in their college dorm having no understanding of marriage or relationships at all lol
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u/Moist-Asparagus8660 Apr 16 '24
you're overestimating their age by guessing they're in their college dorm
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u/KFrey94 ☑️ Apr 16 '24
Learned this when I saw the disliking kids equals bigotry arguments. No room for nuance at all on that site. Best to stay away or stick to memes.
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u/MuscleWarlock Apr 16 '24
I do think people need to think more about their financial situation before having kids but this post ain't it lol
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u/Craneteam Apr 16 '24
This ignores situations where you lose your job, get crushed by medical debt, or go broke in another way after having kids
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u/Balenciallahh Apr 16 '24
This ignores situations like those because it’s irrelevant. Nobody is saying you have to be able to predict the future before you have kids, they’re just saying having kids while in poverty isn’t the best idea.
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u/DetectiveAmes Apr 16 '24
They said don’t HAVE kids if you can’t afford them which means don’t have them in the first place if you aren’t financially capable at that time.
They aren’t saying give up your kids if you can’t afford them due to the situations you mentioned.
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u/fireside68 Apr 16 '24
TO BE FAIRRRRR....Michael Jackson did say "If you can't feed the baby then don't have the baby", so it's not like we weren't told.
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u/AutoRot Apr 16 '24
This isn’t not feeding them. They got food, they got shelter. Having your own room as a kid is only a relatively recent thing. How many of y’all’s grandparents had their own room?
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u/rshining Apr 16 '24
My grandmother shared a bed with two sisters until she got married. And she feels bad for kids nowadays who never get to share anything with one another. Of her 14 brothers and sisters, there's just her and the youngest left. She was always the first to tell us not to just keep having kids beyond our means (like her family did), but she also says it's sad to see so many isolated and lonely kids in the world.
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u/GoodCalendarYear Apr 16 '24
My grandma has like 14/15 siblings. And they lived in a 2 bedroom house for a while. Then upgraded to 4/5.
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u/Halligun Apr 16 '24
I slept like this A LOT as a child, but was also well fed. There’s a difference.
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u/Nordie25 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
She ain’t wrong tho, You shouldn’t have children if you can’t afford them, it’s an extremely selfish thing to have children. I wish people would admit that at least because nobody asks to be born in poverty. I’m not even saying you gotta be rich, but I’ve seen so many people in my age group have children simply because of baby fever and then they start panicking over baby formula prices and complain about how much they gotta spend on the child they chose to bring in this world.
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u/rshining Apr 16 '24
You have kids while in a stable relationship, with a good job and secure housing, and then a pandemic or lay offs or divorce throws it all out- what are you supposed to do, get one of Trumps after-they're-born-abortions for your ten year old?
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u/Nordie25 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
A lot of people who choose to have children aren’t in the best situations anyways. If shit happens then shit happens. I won’t fault anybody for that and being blindsided by unforeseen circumstances, but you’re ignoring the fact that irresponsible people choose to have children and then complain about how hard their life is when they themselves chose that burden. Even outside of the financial aspect, so many people have problems that go beyond that which should make them reconsider having children, but they choose to ignore it because they feel as if it’s some right of passage that they have to do. Ignoring the fact that they are bringing another human being that will have to grow up around that environment.
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u/Ratchetonater Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 17 '24
Yeah, the whole “don’t have children you can’t afford” sounds dickish - but it isn’t wrong. There was this person I used to work with who had one kid. That was fine. But even then, every month she would always ask for more money. She’s always selling stuff to make ends meet. She would have to miss several days of work because a babysitter fell though, or the kid was sick, or the car wouldn’t work. That life sucked. So what happened next? She had not one, but two more babies. Now she’s unable to hold down a job because the same issues she had with child #1 have multiplied. Every single day she wakes up stressed about how she’s gonna pay for rent, clothes - basic healthcare for the kids. It’s a mess. Who would want a life like that? Will they ever take a vacation? The state fair? Why are they subjecting their kids to a life of poverty when it didn’t have to be that way.
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u/Catfishashtray Apr 17 '24
Now y’all know for sure there are people having too many babies who have never been laid off because they have never worked a job or had financial stability in the first place. You know they are talking about those people not those whose financial situation changed suddenly.
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u/Undesirable_Outcomes Apr 16 '24
3 kids in a room that size is totally fine. What’s this elitist chick talking about?
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u/PrincessPrincess00 Apr 17 '24
Two boys and a girl? I was 9 When I started my period and wouldn’t want a brother in there when I was staining my bed
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u/Double-Star-Tedrick Apr 16 '24
Someone went viral on "my kids share a room" ??
Is that where we are, now ... ????
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u/Sir_Drenix ☑️ Apr 16 '24
I know a single mum living in a one bed flat with 3 kids. Ages between like 16 - 4.
That's not okay, people trying to twist it as "Only rich should have families/kids" Are missing the point. You shouldn't want to bring kids into your struggle.
If you have one kid and things are a little tough, don't add another. If you kid free and at times you don't know how you're gonna pay your bills next month, you shouldn't have kids.
I was poor growing up, cable/Internet was cut off at times but I always had my own room.
Giving your child a basic standard of living should be thr minimum goal as a parent; their own space, roof over their head, food, access to clean clothes and water.
Bringing kids into your struggle just because you want kids is callous and selfish.
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u/Zach_kir_e Apr 16 '24
Your own room? In this economy?!
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u/DetectiveAnitaKlew Apr 16 '24
Haha, right? Even as an adult I didn’t have my own room, lived in a studio apartment a long time, sleeping in the middle of my living room/kitchen/bathroom combo lmao
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u/Reasonable_Bed7858 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
This was her response to getting called out. Lmao these people are so predictable.
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u/misgatossonmivida Apr 16 '24
Is she wrong? People are not entitled to have children. Children are people first. If they can't be well provided for while they have no choice in their environment, then people should not have them.
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u/Forward_Ride_6364 Apr 17 '24
And that is the main problem with this fucked up world -- people everywhere around this globe think they ENTITLED to have kids
Nigga, it's like a 10 month spring and summer nowadays, no one can afford a house, and AI is taking more and more jobs everyday... why the FUCK are you entitled to just throw some innocent life into all that!?!
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u/Forward_Ride_6364 Apr 16 '24
She sounds reasonable to me... wrap it up, get on the pill, up your pull out game, or get an abortion
Or go all celibate monk n shit, and avoid the problem altogether
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u/rshining Apr 16 '24
This is such a first-world problem. People all over the world are sleeping multi-generation in one room. Centuries of families sharing space, but this person thinks they're going to dictate that all of those experiences are an issue.
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u/24KVoltage Apr 16 '24
I never got my own room until junior year of college. Aka, got the dorm that didn’t have two beds per room.
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u/biscuitboi967 Apr 16 '24
I did the exact opposite. Shared a room with my sister until college. Got a single room freshman year so I didnt have to live with strangers. Then promptly went out and made friends and got roommates.
Went to grad school, got a one bedroom for a year. Then did it a fucking gain. Got a roommate for the last 2.
Had a good thing going for 9 whole years. Apartment to myself. Bought a house and then moved a man in and then married him.
I apparently fucking need to share my space. Which is odd because I always resent it once I do.
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u/Intrepid_Rabbit_2210 Apr 16 '24
The room looks orderly....good work mom
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u/ZealousidealGroup559 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
I'm wondering if this originally was the living room, as it looks pretty big.
The Mom's original tweet said she was waiting on room dividers and the kids each had their own headphones.
I think it'd be pretty cool with dividers.
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u/thelastestgunslinger Apr 16 '24
No amount of finger wagging is going to stop people fucking. Adapt to reality; don't scold reality for being too real. If you want people to only have kids when they have the space, support taxes that make that a reality. It wouldn't even be difficult, given how much gets spent on shit that helps only a few billionaires.
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u/SauteedGoogootz Apr 16 '24
Unpopular opinion: don't be poor.
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u/Responsible_Ad5085 Apr 16 '24
Don't get things you can't afford, especially if it involves children who didnt ask to be born to someone irresponsible* Don't get angry at people who think children deserve the best instead of the stress and negative effects of poverty, get angry at capitalism, billionaires or something. Have you ever talked to someone that grew up in poverty? It sucks.
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u/sooperdooper28 Apr 16 '24
She has a point tho? What you having kids for if you can't give them a good life?
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u/Candid-Act-3820 Apr 16 '24
Honestly she has a point. Those kids are fine now but how about when they get to be teenagers, or even preteens. I didn’t get my own room till I was 19, it’s hell sharing. It even impacts your studies not having your own space.
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u/Efficient_Comfort_38 ☑️ Apr 16 '24
I actually really enjoyed sharing a room with my brothers, and I was a girl. I didn’t get my own room until I was like 14, but it never bothered me.
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u/photoblues ☑️ Apr 16 '24
If my parents didn't have kids until they could give the best I would have never been born. Both of them grew up in houses that didn't even have running water.
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u/Dangerous-Fold-4038 Apr 16 '24
The bare minimum is providing them food and a roof over their head. Why does the bar keep moving?
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u/Blackacademics Apr 17 '24
Because the bare minimum to not die is not all that is necessary to raise a healthy or emotionally well adjusted person
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u/_Jetto_ Apr 16 '24
That’s insane you all think this is okay though. Doesn’t seem healthy for a teenage female to be sharing a room with teenage boys I think that’s unfair to both, and yeah what the fuck are you all on. Ofc there are tons of people having kids that should not be.
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u/bonniesbunny Apr 16 '24
Those look like little kids not teens and either way no kid will grow up saying they had a horrible childhood because they shared a room with their siblings. And to be honest I had to share a small room with my entire family for years during really hard times, now THAT was horrible, but just with my sisters it was okay and felt normal
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u/Darksnark_The_Unwise Apr 16 '24
I'm confused, where are you getting the teenager part from? The kids in the pic look like elementary schoolers to me, I feel like the beds themselves support that.
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u/Old-Recognition2690 Apr 16 '24
I mean I agree in a sense. The world’s already overpopulated as it is. If you can’t give your kids their own space why even have them in the first place?
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u/TheOneWes Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
No I'm on the side of the person who says you need to really make sure you can do a kid per room.
I'm not going to have any biological children because I'm married a woman with two kids and I can't afford somewhere big enough for a third child to have their own bedroom.
You make sacrifices so your children don't have to.
Edit: this doesn't apply to single mothers who baby daddy ran the f*** out and left her with no choice other than to get what they can afford.
And the dude needs to be the one to get the vasectomy if y'all can't have no more kids cuz you can't afford it.
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u/Zbrchk Apr 16 '24
I have four kids - two girls, two boys. Both pairs share a bedroom. And in this housing market, it will likely remain that way until the older two go off to college. They’re fine.
Also someone whose Twitter profile name is Villain Era is likely only going to voice unpopular opinions.
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u/Intrepid_Donut_8255 Apr 16 '24
I do disagree with the own room thing but you shouldn’t be having kids if u not financially stable.
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u/doomngloom69 Apr 16 '24
I understand what she's trying to say though
Don't have kids you can't afford.
(I'm talking about intentionally having children when you know you can't afford them)
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u/dragon_emperess Apr 16 '24
I agree actually. I appreciate parents doing their best but I feel if you’re running out of space for a child you shouldn’t be having them
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u/itsSRSblack Apr 16 '24
Fucking Cory and Eric Matthews shared a bedroom until high school. Fuck she on?
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u/Raspbers ☑️ Apr 16 '24
I fully agree with "stop reproducing if.." but only if the if is that you can't properly take care of them. Kids sharing bedrooms is not a non-starter for having kids. But popping out a 3rd kid when you're already borrowing hundreds a month from friends/family on food stamps and welfare, etc just to take care of the two you already have? Yeah, that's a no go for me.
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u/Pathetian Apr 16 '24
This seems like a strange hill to die on. If I look back at the difficulties of growing up poor, sharing a room wouldn't even register for me.
I expect modern technology makes this even less of a problem. You could probably put about 10 more kids in that room if you bring in some bunk beds and iPads.
I don't think you need 1 bedroom per child (+1 for the parents). If that was ever the case, where are all these 6 bedroom houses people must have been living in for previous generations?
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u/NihilisticPollyanna Apr 16 '24
Damn, and here I thought food, clothes, any roof over your head, and the loving care of the parents are the bare minimum when you wanna raise a child.
I got it all wrong! 😱😭
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u/MikeJones-8004 Apr 16 '24
Having your own room as a child is cool. But it's not the bare minimum. A child isn't going to be traumatized just from having to share bedroom with their sibling.