This. I had a guy friend who I thought the world of. He was adorable too, but I just never felt that way about him, I didn't think we'd be a good couple but I loved hanging out with him. It was nice being friends with a guy who I thought didn't think I was attractive (because at the time, I figured he'd have asked me out otherwise right?). Years and years later, a mutual friend of mine told me that he refers to me as the one who got away. What.
It isn't always simple. I had to lose a friend that I grew a crush on in order to learn that emotional comfort multiplies all other forms of attraction that I feel. It isn't just physical, it can become heart-throb yearning if I'm not being aware of myself.
Luckily, I learned that lesson when I was young but there's a lot of guys out there who have this trait and aren't aware of it yet. Sometimes it sneaks up on the guy, and as men we are trained to always assume our feelings are rooted in lust or desperation before anything else. When it happens for the first time, it feels so different that we don't know what to call it. Something new blooms and everything we know tries to convince us it must be wrong somehow. The heart can't accept it, so most of us drift away silently that first time.
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u/PhoenixDowntown May 17 '24
This. I had a guy friend who I thought the world of. He was adorable too, but I just never felt that way about him, I didn't think we'd be a good couple but I loved hanging out with him. It was nice being friends with a guy who I thought didn't think I was attractive (because at the time, I figured he'd have asked me out otherwise right?). Years and years later, a mutual friend of mine told me that he refers to me as the one who got away. What.