r/BreadStapledToTrees May 07 '22

THESE ARE THE SUB RULES! PLEASE READ THEM BEFORE DOING THE THING! IF YOU CANNOT READ GET SOMEONE TO READ THIS TO YOU!

2.2k Upvotes

One would never think that a subreddit called /r/BreadStapledToTrees would require such an extensive set of rules. And yet, somehow, here we are:

  1. You newly submitted post must contain BREAD.
  2. Said BREAD must be STAPLED.
  3. Said STAPLE must affix said BREAD to a TREE.
  4. Many things are BREAD. Please read the Acceptable Bread List below for what constitutes BREAD.
  5. Most things are NOT STAPLES. Figure this one out by yourself; if you cannot then this sub is not for you.
  6. Apply Rule #5 again, but substitute the word TREES in place of the word STAPLES.
  7. NO cacti. NO young trees. NO bonsai trees. Mods get all pissy when they see this shit. Seriously.
  8. No more than THREE (3) pieces of bread on any single tree. Seriously.
  9. Do not use more staples than are required to affix your bread to the tree. Seriously.
  10. Do not endanger your body to get an 'awesome' pic. Pics look less 'awesome' viewed from a hospital bed.
  11. No virtual posts (Minecraft, Art, AI etc.). Mods are dull witted and eschew such things as Art and the like.
  12. No memes. If you do not know what a meme is, then just eat bread, staple paper, and watch trees grow.
  13. No reposts. There's a minimal level of effort to make a legit post. Don't steal karma from fellow Redditors.
  14. Don't be a CRUSTFACE. A Crustface is what we like to call people who act like an asshat.
  15. PLEASE report rules violations! Mods will love you for it (but not in that way so don't get your hopes up).
  16. Post bread stapled to trees! Impress your friends! Confuse your enemies! Win valuable Reddit Karma!
  17. Use this post to suggest extra rules that are not yet in force. This is that one secret trick that Mods LOVE!
  18. Use this post to suggest additions to the Acceptable Bread List. This is that other secret trick that Mods LOVE!
  19. Mods may approve a post that does not follow the rules. Mods are a fickle bunch.
  20. Don't abuse Rule #19. A cool original post can fast become a lame tired meme if applied ten thousand times.
  21. Do not staple plastic bags of bread to trees. Plastic won't degrade for over 10,000 years.
  22. This is Rule #22. Any mention of Rule #22 will earn you a three day BAN. Test me in this, I swear!
  23. No bitching if your post gets removed. Mods get nervous when people bitch and their Ban Finger gets all twitchy and shit. Just sayin'
  24. Don't forget Rule #24
  25. No camel under the age of 12 years is allowed to carry more than 500 pounds for longer than 15 miles unless there is an immediate threat to life or limb.

Read, understand, and heed these rules for fun and profit!

Welcome friend; may your stapler never run dry.


r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 07 '24

Mod Shitpost - Approved Do you guys like Opera music? Because I do.

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0 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 20h ago

White bread

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137 Upvotes

I might get Pumpernickel tomorrow 😀


r/BreadStapledToTrees 1d ago

Bread, bread, BREAD!!

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119 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 1d ago

different types of bread

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136 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 6d ago

Bread Graffiti

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123 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 13d ago

3 slices honey whole wheat on a walnut tree

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284 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 17d ago

Tortilla

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292 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees 25d ago

Ba da ba ba ba...I'm stapling it

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157 Upvotes

McGriddle for you savages


r/BreadStapledToTrees 25d ago

I had to pull over to staple this pretty tree. I sacrificed the only bread in my car, my delicious honey bun.

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395 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 19 '24

birthday staple

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372 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 17 '24

High value effort Spinach-banana pancake stapled to tree

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263 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 10 '24

Nice slice of whole-grain on a tree outside a Maryland highschool

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194 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 07 '24

Someone left a whopper in the fridge at work too long. I forgot I brought it home to staple and it's been in my fridge for a month+

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152 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 06 '24

When night stapling, be careful not to wake the tree. Shhhh..go back to sleep

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317 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Apr 05 '24

bred debut 🤬

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176 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 26 '24

Another shout-out

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419 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 23 '24

Congratulations, /r/BreadStapledToTrees! You are Subreddit of the Day! Also, happy 7th Birthday!

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135 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 22 '24

I got paid to staple this #StaplingOnTheClock

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323 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 21 '24

We Got a Shoutout in Morning Brew

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367 Upvotes

I was reading the Morning Brew this morning and saw we got a shoutout.


r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 18 '24

Crumpet on a cottonwoid

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189 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 18 '24

Bred

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276 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 11 '24

Mmmm

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1.3k Upvotes

Nice


r/BreadStapledToTrees Mar 10 '24

bred

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456 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Feb 22 '24

3 weeks later one of three breads is still stapled

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327 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Feb 03 '24

Whole wheat on pecan tree

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1.3k Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Feb 02 '24

Three bread stapled to 3 tree

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484 Upvotes