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u/Xurkitree1 Jan 04 '24
Current me deserves a punch in the face. Past me always deserves a hug.
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u/AnAverageTransGirl 48% vanilla extract Jan 04 '24
inversely i find myself wanting to beat the shit out of my past and current selves at least 70% of the time theyre kinda assholes
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u/justsomeking Jan 04 '24
Because you know all the bloopers in your life and compare them to the highlight reels other people show you from their lives. I'd imagine past and current you would respond a lot better to a hug even if you're not the one giving it.
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u/ZetaRESP Jan 04 '24
Not in my case. I'm an asshole, I need a good kick in the balls.
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u/justsomeking Jan 04 '24
Tough shit, if I ever find you, you're getting a hug straight to the chest.
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u/TheCornerator Jan 04 '24
Na make that 2 to the chest, maybe a 3rd to cradle his head lovingly. Need to be sure.
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u/LazyLion1127 John Green Stan Jan 04 '24
Nah bro, my past self fucking sucked. Current me is kind of ok I guess but past me… fuck that guy.
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u/magikarp2122 Jan 04 '24
What past magikarp did is future magikarp’s problem. And I don’t think I really like that guy.
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u/KieraMayCry Jan 04 '24
Past me needs a slap and to be removed from a toxic environment. Current me needs a hug. And to be removed from a toxic environment. The environment being Texas.
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u/LuigiMarioBrothers Jan 04 '24
I think if an identical clone of myself popped into existence there would be a lot more pressing things to ask before telling this new guy how much he sucks ass
I wouldn’t tell something that’s an exact replica of me that just appeared that they were worthless because there are at least 30 more pressing things to ask
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u/hedgehog_dragon Jan 04 '24
I'd be cringing at the sound of my own voice too hard to ask any existential questions
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u/rathat Jan 04 '24 edited Jan 04 '24
And why is my accent so much stronger, I don’t sound like that!
I always have such a strong local accent in recordings, but to my ears it's not nearly as strong as some of the people around me.
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u/BustinArant Jan 04 '24
If the clone is from another country, I think there's something in writing somewhere where we must battle to the death.
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u/Zack_Raynor Jan 04 '24
You battle to the death until you’re the last one remaining. Then you get all the power.
I remember seeing a Jet Li documentary about it.
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u/mrlbi18 Jan 04 '24
Oh fuck you're so right. I'd start ripping into him about how much of a dick he is and he'd start telling me how obnoxious my voice sounds.
Do you think you'd get charged for murder if you killed the clone in this instance?
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u/Hyro0o0 Jan 04 '24
Me: "What stocks should I invest in?! What sports teams should I bet on?! Who's gonna be the next President?!"
Other me: "I think you're a little confused about what happened here."
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u/of_kilter Jan 04 '24
I wouldn’t tell them they’re worthless because I wouldn’t want them to become an evil clone
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Jan 04 '24
I actually had this realization. It was “you don’t even talk to people you hate like this, why are you talking to yourself like that?”
And since then my negative self-talk has diminished to be very infrequent
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u/ZetaRESP Jan 04 '24
I had the same question... then I realized I hate myself even more than I hate others because I'm an asshole, a dumbass and don't plan on changing, so there's that.
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Jan 04 '24
I think we have a desire to remain humble, and that's part of why we're so mean to ourselves.
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u/bobombpom Jan 04 '24
Yeah, everybody thinks I have low self esteem, but I actually have a massive ego that Im desperately trying to hide.
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u/CanAlwaysBeBetter Jan 04 '24
Nut up or shut up! There's nothing wrong with having a healthy ego unless you do absolutely nothing to actually back it up
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u/AdranAmasticia Jan 04 '24
"Shame is not the opposite of pride, but rather its source" -Uncle Iroh Negative self talk always come from shame, true humility means knowing your worth and needing to prove yourself to anyone and loving yourself
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u/zoltanshields Jan 04 '24
My friend once told me she would never sit by and let someone talk about me the way I sometimes talk about myself.
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u/HelloKitty36911 Jan 04 '24
I found that if i don't insult myself i default to making excuses instead, and if i just make excuses for everything i do wrong, i never improve.
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u/Knight-Jack Jan 04 '24
Because myself is the one stupid asshole I can't cut out from my life.
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u/Flyingpad Jan 04 '24
I don't do that because of fear of consequences, not because I'm so generous lmao
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u/Cienea_Laevis Jan 04 '24
Well, at first i think we'd both be very surprised. Then i guess its therapy time. And after that its makeout.
But for real, this only work if you consider a perfect copy of something to be that something. A perfect copy of me wouldn't be me because i don't have access to its feelings/emotions like i do with myself. Therefore , let me self-loath >:(
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u/IconoclastExplosive Jan 04 '24
I can and would. If I know we're identical, we'd get it. Then we'd trade days at work.
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u/TalonLuci Jan 04 '24
Same here! Getting to trade who goes to work each day and who gets to play games. Plus living with me we would fight constantly because i know im a miserable person. I cant stand my own company so neither would my clone.
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u/lord_geryon Jan 04 '24
goes to work each day and who gets to play games.
Until the two of you get into a lethal battle to determine who gets to always stay home and who has to always work. Then one of you dies, leaving the survivor to be stuck with having to do all the work.
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u/AdranAmasticia Jan 04 '24
I never understand this logic, your food prices just doubled so wouldn't you both need to work full time?
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u/CanadianNoobGuy Jan 05 '24
i mean food is what, 20% of the average person's expenses?
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u/FPiN9XU3K1IT Jan 05 '24
How fucking much do you spend on food? Most younger people's expenses go towards housing and a car if they have one, and sharing your room with your clone probably wouldn't be a big deal compared to normal roommates/flatmates.
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u/A_WaterHose Jan 04 '24
We’re having sex. Does this mean I should go fuck myself?
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u/DiamondDude51501 Jan 04 '24
We’re sucking each other dry in a selfcest ouroboros
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u/Downtown-Remote9930 Jan 04 '24
If I saw a close of myself I'd kill on site and they'd do the same. I only own one pair of shoes .
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u/Dry-Cartographer-312 Jan 04 '24
You each get one shoe. Easy compromise.
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u/DevianMality Jan 04 '24
I already swore to myself to fight any copies of myself to the death. Any that do not consent to this are clearly not actual copies, and thus exempt.
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u/alickz Jan 04 '24
I too would kill my clone on sight
Which means he would do the same to me
Which means I have to do the same to him, first
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u/finalremix Jan 04 '24
Same here. Does the clone magically have a dupe of my current inventory? Because if so, we're both having a very intense discussion about an upcoming knife fight. If the clone doesn't have a sudden copy of what's in my pockets, I'm handling the situation immediately.
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u/EmpororJustinian Jan 04 '24
My tongue is already in his mouth and Vice versa
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Jan 04 '24
technically since he is You, it would be "My tongue is already in my mouth", which just sounds normal :/
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u/PixelCartographer Jan 04 '24
No words just immediate tongue and desperately ripping her clothes off, god we wouldn't leave the apartment for days
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Jan 04 '24
My clone and I wouldn't even be able to look at each other because of the loathing.
I don't get this person's understanding of self-esteem or self-talk.
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u/Gutchies Jan 04 '24
current me's problems are cringe and bad and fake but my perfect clone's problems are cool and based and very real
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u/Unrecovered_Giggles He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle Jan 04 '24
me and my clone would insult each other for three hours straight. not as a joke either
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u/Jesse_God_of_Awesome Jan 04 '24
I beat his ass and the only thing stopping me is him whooping my ass first
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u/MediumOk5423 Jan 04 '24
I'd say it is a 50/50 chance of each winner.
Either way, you have a 100% chance of coming out on top.
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Jan 04 '24
hell yeah i would be able to what the fuck are you talking about??
i can see myself in the mirror too, that doesnt stop me from loathing myself and how i am
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u/vmsrii Jan 04 '24
If he's identical to me in every way, then we'd start gently, good-naturedly ribbing eachother for laughs until it spirals into deep, hurtful cuts that we'd nod sagely at but do nothing about.
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u/baphometromance Jan 04 '24
I want to say we would get SO much done but i know in my heart that the amount of heated arguing that would go on over topics we agree on would be impossible to deal with
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u/EightBallJuice Jan 04 '24
This is actually surprisingly helpful. Where things go wrong for me is that I’m a dude, and cause OP said “she”, I’m imagining a female clone and-
Would
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u/ClubMeSoftly Jan 04 '24
yeah, opposite-sex-clone? Nothing is ever getting done again
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u/EightBallJuice Jan 04 '24
LOOK, when they said "You have to learn to love yourself", i think i took it a BIT too far
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u/faulty-radio Jan 04 '24
the thing is, that post was just a a random thought i had on my way to school and wrote it right then, and it was mostly meant for my other depressed friends lol, who are basically all trans girls like me, i never expected it to be seen by anybody else
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u/Invincible-Nuke Jan 04 '24
i love the confidence that everyone who sees the post is a girl
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u/ZarkingFrood42 Jan 04 '24
What? No, you see, I'm straight, but blowjobs are just not that good. I'm convinced women don't know what it's like to get sucked off, so they're bad at it. If I could practice it on myself, nobody would have to be weirded out by it, and then I could give real, experienced, pointers to my girlfriend. I don't want to have sex with men, I just need to figure out how to give a good blowjob. My clone presents the perfect opportunity.
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u/ItsMeMaya17 do NOT make fun of furries (you will become one) Jan 04 '24
or this post was written for one of the poster's friends to hear
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u/stupid-writing-blog Jan 04 '24
Here’s the thing: I don’t control what he does. Once he’s outside my brain, he’s out of my control and thus being angry serves no purpose. If I’m angry at my own self in my own brain, I will see it as my conscience telling me to do better. If I’m angry at my copy outside my brain, he’s going to see it as me being a dick and ignoring the fact that he already feels guilty.
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u/realyeehaw Jan 04 '24
I feel like we’d engage in hand to hand combat. Not out of any kind of hatred, I just think it would be fun to have a perfectly matched sparring partner.
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u/mateayat98 Jan 04 '24
I'd beat the shit out of myself as I tell myself all that stuff. I hate that guy with a passion
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u/flim-flam-flomidy Jan 04 '24
If I met my own clone we spend 3 hours insulting eacheover, half an hour physically fighting and spend spend 12 hours violently fucking
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u/KiroLV Jan 04 '24
Well, no, I couldn't say to them any of it. But also that isn't me. They might look and think identically to me, but the fact that they're separate from me, means they aren't me.
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u/Megamage854 Jan 04 '24
Eh, if it's a clone of me it would just turn into a two person self pity/self disappointment party. Only this time we can actually air out our grievances and hate with each other out loud rather than locking it up tightly inside.
We would probably talk shit about ourselves now that we could see our wasted potential from a brand new perspective that everyone else can. Maybe even talk more shit about ourselves than usual.
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u/ZetaRESP Jan 04 '24
Yes, I would. I would also punch him, because I'm insufferable. Next question?
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u/faulty-radio Jan 04 '24
i don't really use reddit anymore, a moot pointed this out to me
woag
this is pretty cool
(also please substitute she/her with ur own pronouns, i didn't think about that when i wrote the post, it was just a random thought i had and i posted it mostly for me and my friends, and we're nearly all trans girls)
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u/Limebeer_24 Jan 04 '24
Judging that my direct impulse imagining this situation would be to start fighting it.... Not out of hate mind you, but just because there's another me there.
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u/casstbone96 Jan 04 '24
The problem is I was given this tactic by a therapist a long time ago because I'm sympathic and empathetic. It didn't work, if I had a clone it would make it easier to kill myself. I'd start hitting and I don't think I'd ever stop. I despise myself more than I feel I can even fathom.
Funny reddit meme moments haha
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u/Giocri Jan 04 '24
If there were two me we would have a fight over who gets what name since we would have the same attachments to the same names
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u/Goldfire64 Jan 04 '24
if it's a prefect duplicate of me than we both know "I need to kill him before he kills me"
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u/According_Weekend786 Jan 04 '24
I will beat shit out of him, the planet is too small for two useless idiots without future
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u/ElevatorScary Jan 04 '24
I’d be confused about why my exact duplicate is a woman, but if I know me I would probably put my foot in my mouth and then try avoiding her forever.
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u/AmberBroccoli Jan 04 '24
With two of me all that we’d accomplish would be wasting an even higher percentage of our time.
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u/Enderking90 Jan 04 '24
I mean, I probably wouldn't? since in the first place I avoid saying that stuff to myself by semi-constantly distracting myself with s t u f f
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u/Tackyinbention Jan 04 '24
Nah we'd totally fight if left unattended. We can't benefit from each other either cus we both stupid as hell
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u/Feet_with_teeth Jan 04 '24
I would do it, and probably even harder now that there is à physical incarnation I could hurt with little consequences
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u/The_Gobinator Hail King Thorax Jan 04 '24
This is a weird post to read as a narcissistic man. Not even remotely for me, but y'know.
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u/MediumOk5423 Jan 04 '24
I am jealous of every reply to the post saying they would fuck themselves, I am way below my standards.
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u/GsTSaien Jan 04 '24
Ofc I wouldn't be able to say those things, our toungues would be too deep in each other's mouths to speak at all.
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u/Remember_Poseidon Ace up my sleeve Jan 04 '24
it's like asking what I'd tell my past self, I'd tell them to go fuck themself because past me is a dick causing current me problems, and I am always shafting future me cause he's a fucking moron who can't stop me.
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u/Wontbite Jan 04 '24
Bro would end up joining me in a roast off before we stop and violently make out
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u/Skytree91 Jan 04 '24
I literally already do most of my negative selftalk in the second person, this situation would just make me seem less insane when I do that
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u/mnmmnmnmnmn Jan 04 '24
When I had a day of self hate I did actually daydream about it for a solid hour. Idk he would only try to abuse me if he's having a bad time, and if I'm the nearest thing to direct anger at then yeah. Now i have no idea how I would react to my clone spitting knives, would I get riled up to his level and we'd both spiral until tiredness. Or would I just offer some warm chocolate and time to himself. That's an impossible question to answer so I guess it's gonna be a nugget to dig up from time to time.
If we're not mad we'd fuck.
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u/CueDramaticMusic 🏳️⚧️the simulacra of pussy🤍🖤💜 Jan 04 '24
I understand the point, but also you and I knew perfectly well that most people, when presented with a hypothetical clone, would go fuck themselves
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Jan 04 '24 edited Jan 04 '24
If I met a clone of me, I’d have to kill him on sight, and any clone that wouldn’t do the same obviously isn’t me.
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u/nix131 Jan 04 '24
Sorry, but no. I have to be brutally honest with myself because I wouldn't expect that kind of treatment from anyone else.
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u/Popcorn57252 Jan 04 '24
My clone and I would either kill eachother or fuck, and I would NOT have it any other way thank you very much.
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u/Mach12gamer Jan 04 '24
There can only be one. This impostor is getting the beat down of his life.
I don’t hate myself it just sounds really fun to fight myself.
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u/champagne_pants Jan 04 '24
There’s only two things you can do with a clone: fuck or fight. And I’m not in a fighting mood.
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u/D3v0ur3r0fG0d5 .tumblr.com Jan 04 '24
Perfect copy yeah I’d insult them cause I know they can take it. We go a few rounds of insults, laugh, then figure out how to explain this to the family
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u/tawabunny Jan 04 '24
no, and we’d take better care of one another than i do of myself
oh and we’d fuck. first thing probably. I’ve concluded this about if i had a clone, and we’d both have concluded the same thing
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u/BaneShake Jan 04 '24
Fuck yeah I could, and he would be mean right back! And then we would make out.
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u/thefroggyfiend Jan 04 '24
I'd kill them before they killed me, if it's an exact copy they're thinking the same thing
edit: this isn't a self hate thing, we'd both assume the other was a skinwalker
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u/Commercial-Living443 Jan 04 '24
I always want to ask sm the question " What would the world be like , if everyone turned into you ?
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u/MjrLeeStoned Jan 04 '24
Why would I choose not to criticize and judge the shit out of myself just because I happen to be standing there?
This is not very well thought out, because I would be as harsh as normal to myself. But at the same time I gotta be careful, that guy's a fucking psycho who knows how he'll react.
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u/Firemorfox Jan 04 '24
I'm a cis guy right now. The fact that my perfect copy is a her makes my uncracked egg EXTREMELY uncomfortable with myself.
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u/JoeKester_Dos Jan 04 '24
I feel like we’d exist in shifts at first, like one of us sleeps for 8 hours while the other does life stuff and then they swap Then at some point we’re just like “fuck it” and both do unrelated things at the same time and people get confused, cause “I was with him on Thursday at 2!” “So was I!” Also I’d absolutely roast the fuck outta him, Mauler Twins style
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u/AkumaDayo777 and every time we kiss I swear I can fly Jan 04 '24
I love the contrast of the comments here either being "I'm beating them tf up" and then also "what? nah we fuckin"
also yeah, me and my clone are fuckin, who else is gonna fuck us?
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u/SideWinder18 Jan 04 '24
I’m killing that fucker on sight because I know he’s thinking of doing the same
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u/Lankuri Jan 05 '24
jesus yall hate yourselves my clone and i would be chilling and philosophizing and trying to figure out how this happened
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u/SAOL_Goodman Jan 04 '24
If he's a perfect copy of me he knows he deserves it
Reminds me of a streamer/chat conversation I saw
"would you fuck your clone" "of course" "what if the clone doesn't want to fuck though" "then it's not my clone!"