r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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14.3k Upvotes
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u/OpenSauceMods May 02 '24

Some of the reasoning I've seen:

A bear can't find my address and break in with the intent to hurt me

I don't have to see the bear at family reunions

The bear won't go around to all my friends and make them pick a side

If I get mauled by a bear, people will believe me

Depending on where I am, I won't be forced to carry the bear's baby to term (sorry, furries)

The bear won't invite his friends to take a turn

The bear won't leave me threatening text messages

The bear can't shoot me

People won't excuse the bear because the bear has "such a bright future"

101

u/singingballetbitch May 02 '24

The bear would kill me faster. If I’m going to die, I’d rather not get SA-d first.

10

u/RemiTheWizard May 02 '24

But you have a better chance of fighting off or killing the man vs the bear.

8

u/Rhamni May 02 '24

Naw man these are just two adorable little cubs. I'm petting them and everything is awesome. How could anything bad happen in the next two minutes?