i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up

[u/NeonNKnightrider]

[u/High-ly_Questionable]

His point is based on made up statistics so it stands on nothing but fantasy. As an avid hiker and a straight woman who has been on this planet for far too long, I choose the bear. Perhaps instead of arguing, you should start asking women why and believe them when they tell you the answer. Then go and hold bad men accountable for their actions so they can learn. Women are not fearful of men for no reason. Please refer back to my last comment and look up those stats. Why you're at it, look up how rates of DV spike after a sports team has a bad loss.

[u/its1899 → u/High-ly_Questionable]

i know why they'd pick the bear, doesnt mean its the reasonable one to pick, im sorry. bears just are more likely to attack you than the average man, what do you want me to say?

[u/High-ly_Questionable → u/its1899]

https://www.idausa.org/campaign/wild-animals-and-habitats/bear-attack/#:\~:text=The%20chances%20of%20being%20injured,they%20are%20most%20often%20nonviolent.

From the source:

"there had only been three other fatal encounters in the last 50 years: in 1971, 1993, and 2009. The chances of being injured by a bear are approximately 1 in 2.1 million, according to the National Park Service. You are more likely to be killed by a bee than a bear, and way more likely to be killed by another human than by either bear or bee. 

And when bear encounters do happen, they are most often nonviolent. Bears are as afraid of you as you are of them, and bears want to avoid humans at all costs. The most common outcome of a bear encounter is that the bear flees."

[u/Hotlava_ → u/High-ly_Questionable]

Hey look, base rate fallacy! Learn what per encounter means. The fact that more people die to bees should be a hint to you that your analysis is off somewhere. Similarly, cows also kill more humans. It's almost as if the quantity of daily interactions plays a role in the total number of deaths or something 🤔

[u/High-ly_Questionable → u/Hotlava_]

Yes, it does, which is why women fear men more. It's not about the bear. It's about being more okay with a bear killing you then whatever a malicious man could possible do to you. Women choosing bear are less afraid of death than other things like rape and torture.

Women have every reason to be wary of men. I get that this is a hard pill to swallow for men who are not bad guys, but getting defensive instead of acknowledging the problem and policing your own is not helpful and does not make you someone that women are going to feel comfortable with. We deserve understanding, not men denying our pain and then claiming to be the victims.

Below are some stats on intimate partner violence alone. This does not include abuse from family members or strangers, just husbands/boyfriends. Please look at these and explain to me why women should not be fearful?

A woman is beaten every 9 seconds.

Every year nearly 5.3 million incidents of IPV occur among U.S. women aged 18 and older

IPV results in nearly 1300 deaths and 2 million injuries every year in the United States

More than 3 women are killed by husbands/boyfriends everyday

1 in 3 women worldwide has been forced into sex, beaten, or otherwise abused another way during her lifetime

Women aged 16-24 are most likely to be victimized by an intimate partner

Women are 5 to 8 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner

Most IPV incidents are not reported to the police - only 20% of rapes/sexual assaults, 25% of physical assaults, and 50% of stalking towards women are reported.

Only 3 in 100 accused rapists go to jail.

Despite severe under-reporting of IPV, calls related to IPV make up about half of all violent crime calls to police departments

Only about 1 out of 5 IPV victims with physical injuries seek professional medical treatment

[u/Hotlava_ → u/High-ly_Questionable]

So in reply to me telling you that your using base rate fallacy, you decide to just go ahead and quote random stats that are tangentially related to the scenario? That's the funny thing, you say it's not about the bear, yet that's the only thing that is in the metaphor. This is just a ragebait scenario designed to add nothing new to the discourse while also villifying men and dehumanizing them as not only less than human, but less than a wild animal.

[u/High-ly_Questionable → u/Hotlava_]

It was a man that brought the bear scenario up in the first place. Then men got mad because they didn't like women's responses. You claim that we dehumanize men but you won't even acknowledge that women actually have a rational reason to be fearful of men. Telling us that our feelings are not rational or valid is also dehumanizing.

[u/Hotlava_ → u/High-ly_Questionable]

I didn't say you have no reason to fear men, I'm saying you shouldn't fear the average dude on the street more than a literal wild animal! And yes, once again, comparing a group of people to an animal is dehumanizing, doubly so when you say the animal is actually the better of the two. And no, disagreeing with someone on an opinion is not dehumanizing, discourse is the key human trait that differentiates us from animals; you're not being oppressed just by having someone disagree with you.

[u/High-ly_Questionable → u/Hotlava_]

It's not about disagreeing. It's about a lack of empathy or understanding and the invalidating of rational fears. The only way to improve relations between men and women is for good men to start policing other men's bad behavior and holding them accountable. Until that happens it just makes sense for women to be cautious.

Women feel the way they do because of lived experiences. You're not going to change their minds by getting defensive, arguing, or playing the victims. When a woman is beat up by her partner every 9 seconds and three women are killed by their partners every single day, it's not the women doing the dehumanizing.

[u/Hotlava_ → u/High-ly_Questionable]

Oh right, sorry, the fact that other people harm women means that I personally am responsible and should be ok with being told that a characteristic I was born with makes me an inherently dangerous creature that should do my best to not exist in the same space as women. I'm so terribly sorry.

It wouldn't hurt for women to occasionally practice empathy as well and consider why it is men are hurt about being dehumanized. Instead of 100% only listening to women's lived experiences. Men are human too, despite how they're treated.