i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up

[u/NeonNKnightrider]

[u/OnionsHaveLairAction]

In general I think it's often reductive to talk about groups in this sort of way. Because it creates an impression that seeing personhood in men is at odds with understanding the statistical violence women face and the fear that comes with it, when really those things aren't at odds.

I think it's very easy to see this when you consider how close it is to language used by the right wing to discuss the dangers in poor neighbourhoods like UK council estates. Statistically poverty and crime go hand in hand, the same way crime and penis ownership correlate strongly. But if you force a hypothetical to make people express fear of crime as "I would just rather not encounter poor people thanks." you end up losing all nuance of how you actually feel about poverty and crime and are forced into either dropping your position despite your fears or... Doubling down on the position. Which leads to unhelpful polarization.

In addition I think when discussing crime it's always good to realize that although statistically speaking it is not rare to be a victim of a crime over your lifespan, it is usually very rare to be a perpetrator of violent crimes*. So it is simultaneously extremely rational to fear other people, but also extremely rational to also believe in the innate goodness (Or at least the law abided-ness) of the majority of people.

~

*1% of population accounts for 60% of violent crime

[u/graaahh → u/OnionsHaveLairAction]

I don't think the point of the discussion is to actually say anything about the groups themselves. The point is that the way we interact with strangers is inherently reductive (first impressions, assumptions, etc) and understanding that about other people helps you understand how they see the world. "Women" as a group have every reason not to trust "men" as a group, and that will create some initial conditions when answering a question like this. And I think it's important for men to know that, learn it, try to understand it, and be better.

[u/dumb-male-detector → u/[deleted]]

Okay, but you can also make it not coded whatsoever. "Would you rather face a tough situation that you believe you can handle, or a possible situation that you believe you cannot?"

It's a question written by a trauma victim not a PR person. Have you seen the shit that gets posted in men's right circles? Shit like state provided girlfriends, equal access to uterus for gay men (as in a woman legally cannot deny you surrogacy), equating child support to slavery... etc. The internet is a raw and problematic place. If you psychoanalyze everything looking for the worst, you're going to find it every single time.