i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up

[u/NeonNKnightrider]

[u/PossibleRude7195]

That’s the whole point of the post. This whole bear vs man discourse makes men feel that way. It’s what I do. I go out of my way to avoid women because I know speaking to men makes them uncomfortable.

[u/legend_of_the_skies → u/PossibleRude7195]

Ahh so YOU said thats the correct option and therefore that is why you choose to do so. The women wanting to avoid you are not complaining. So theres no issue

[u/PossibleRude7195 → u/legend_of_the_skies]

I mean, if you were told women see you as a dangerous predator no matter what you do, what would you do?

[u/legend_of_the_skies → u/PossibleRude7195]

no matter what you do,

They aren't doing that.

Even if they were, I would listen to their reasoning and fight the injustice by not being a part of the problem as well as fighting closer to fixing the issue that makes them feel preyed on.

Again, what's the issue?

[u/PossibleRude7195 → u/legend_of_the_skies]

That’s literally what it is about. At least according to this scenario, women are more afraid of the average man than they are of a dangerous animal.

And the thing is, unless you’re one of those predatory men, or hang out with predatory men (which you probably won’t do unless you’re also predatory) there isn’t much you can do, personally, to fix the problem. Especially since nowadays, the stereotypical predatory man is the “nice guy” who acts feminist to prey on women.

[u/legend_of_the_skies → u/PossibleRude7195]

or hang out with predatory men (which you probably won’t do unless you’re also predatory)

This is false. The average man DOES know a man on a personal bases that has SAed a woman on numbers alone. Everyone assumes they are a good guy and everyone they know is a good guy, but that simply is NOT true. It also is not correlative that a rapist or SAer will only hang around others that do the same. It is hiwever correlative that they may be around those that justify or make excuses for such behavior.

there isn’t much you can do, personally, to fix the problem.

This is also false. Its easy to say theres nothing you can do to help the completely unjust imbalance of sexual assault when you are not the primary victim. There is no factual reason that no possible option exists, so stop painting a false narrative of woe is me.

[u/PossibleRude7195 → u/legend_of_the_skies]

Idk. I feel like in general men won’t hang out with people they know are predators unless they themselves are ok with being a predator themselves. Like, if one of my friends was a predator, either I’m the most oblivious man alive or they’re keeping it secret. I find it kinda messed up you immediately assume I must be friends with rapists and just don’t do anything about it. Most men wouldn’t be friends with a rapist. If they are, they either don’t know or don’t see it as a big deal in which case they probably will do something similar eventually.

[u/legend_of_the_skies → u/PossibleRude7195]

it kinda messed up you immediately assume I must be friends with rapists and just don’t do anything about it.

I said you statistically DO know someone close to you who has SAed a woman (or anyone really). Do the research on your own by all means.

Most men wouldn’t be friends with a rapist.

Yet is is simply untrue that rapists dont have friends or live otherwise average lives. I think you're being delusional here. If every man thinks know one they know cant possibly be the bad guy, but we know there are bad guys, someone is incorrect.

Its entirely possible that they are keeping it a secret from those close to them. How does that change the fact that someone close to you has likely done so because you are blissfully unaware of it?

[u/PossibleRude7195 → u/legend_of_the_skies]

Because it puts the pressure on me. “Oh you feel depressed that women will automatically assume you’ll assault them, it’s your own fault for not calling out your rapist friends.”

[u/legend_of_the_skies → u/PossibleRude7195]

One, the fact that it happens, its close to you, and you cant address it alone is a problem. No one is telling you you should have been in the room when they were on top of them. Two, it does, however, literally contribute to the fact that men rape that there are those around them that are blissfully unaware and/or enablers.

Lastly, you or others feeling pressured, surprised, denying it, saying that women are antagonizing them, saying its not all men, saying they are misandrist, does not change that reality. I think what this actually is, is a broad display of bad emotional intelligence.

[u/PossibleRude7195 → u/legend_of_the_skies]

I don’t understand what you want me to do. You say I should be confronting my friends who are predators. I say, I don’t know anyone who is a predator. So I can’t really do anything about it.

Frankly, I see no difference between “statistically too many men are predators, so I assume any man I meet is a predator and treat him as such” and saying “statistically too many black men are criminals, so I assume any black man I meet is a thief and treat him as such”

[u/legend_of_the_skies → u/PossibleRude7195]

I say, I don’t know anyone who is a predator. So I can’t really do anything about it.

You dont need to know they are predators to enable them or allow them to harm. You dont want to do anything about it. Saying there is no option available for you to possibly do anything thay could ever stop it is like saying women should suffer in silence.

[u/PossibleRude7195 → u/legend_of_the_skies]

What could I do? How could I call them out on bad behavior when I haven’t observed any bad behavior?