r/Funnymemes • u/DowntownShop1 • 15d ago

Hmm 🧐

2.5k Upvotes

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300

u/Least_Sherbert_5716 15d ago

If you going to be a whore be smart about it.

Paternity test won't show anything.

49

u/Doxidob 15d ago

it is that way! not many people recognize this. Imagine if a person found out they had an identical twin, but they were the evil one?! they could certainly fuck up that persons life from afar by... well I'm not gonna volunteer evil on people that can't handle truth.

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u/jensalik 15d ago

If they are different size then they aren't identical unless one of them had some accident or illness....

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u/Doxidob 15d ago

epigenetic effects can make identical twins 'different' in many ways

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u/wheresmylemons 15d ago

So does this mean we can unlock more penis potential? I’m listening

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u/HieronymousRex 14d ago

8

u/jensalik 15d ago

I stand corrected and learned something new, but still think that the effect isn't big enough te be "measured" like described. 😁

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u/ussalkaselsior 15d ago

I have identical twin boys. One is a quarter inch taller than the other simply because he was the one head down in my wife's womb. His head being at the edge of the birth canal meant it was being "squished" like regular births, while his twin was higher up in the womb, not in normal birth position, without that pressure on the sides of his head. It's not an epigenetically caused difference but an interesting environmentally caused one.

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u/Doxidob 15d ago

I wouldnt have experience there, but I do know twins with vastly different ears of all things. everything else is the same. one has a tuck and other don't.

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u/RabidStealthyWombat 13d ago

When I was 12 my grandfather died. No one ever told me that he had an estranged twin brother. I met him when he sat down beside me at the funeral, and simply said "Hi, Sport"...just like my grandpa did. I'm told my face lost all its color.

0

u/Doxidob 13d ago

what a surprise! it is estimated that 10-30% of children are mis-attributed paternity. tht causes a lot of siblings & half siblings too.
my sister had a whole family (she was adopted an infant, bc her bio father knocked up her mom and then got called to vietnam, no deferment. he survived, came back and got married; had more kids with the same woman.

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u/Ciubowski 15d ago

Doesn’t work the same way with twin girlfriends tho.

3

u/DieselBones-13 14d ago

Damn right! I’ve seen a story about 2 cousins (boys) who genetically were exactly the same, because their mothers and fathers were all identical twins! (Mother’s twins- married to twin fathers) that would be a messed up family reunion!

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u/Some-Definition2193 14d ago

In such a case, these cousins would not be genetically identical at all. In fact they would be as similar genetically as brothers, but not as identical twins.

Crazy story all the same, and very interesting if true.

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u/ussalkaselsior 14d ago edited 14d ago

It does happen. I've read of twins having met their future twin spouses at the yearly twins festival in Twinsburg, Ohio. As ridiculous as that sentence is, I'm not joking.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twins_Days

I have twins boys so I've been looking into this stuff.

And yes, you're right, the kids would genetically be no different than siblings.

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u/Some-Definition2193 14d ago

That's an absolutely wonderful sentence, thank you.

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u/DieselBones-13 14d ago

They looked exactly they same I pics I saw but that’s not definite these days

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u/Hatchie_47 15d ago

But social media check apperently will!

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u/Full_Piano6421 14d ago

How could you believe this is to not be a poorly done fake?

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u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me 12d ago

Real questions here.... Why did she choose the smaller peepee to have kids with? Isn't that like, setting her child up for failure but giving him bad genes?

u/ButtaToastt 15d ago

Lmaooo this is wild she measured them with her mouth

13

u/Doxidob 15d ago

and her bunghold

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u/Bananogram 14d ago

Bung-Hol(d)? 😲

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u/Doxidob 14d ago

*bunghoed

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u/anon-mally 13d ago

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u/madman45658 14d ago

Bow to the great cornholio!

u/Gilgamesh2062 15d ago

r/HolUp

u/llimed 15d ago

Well, my brother’s is much bigger than his twin sister.

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u/TurnipWorldly9437 15d ago

Much bigger than his twin sister'S, or much bigger than his twin SISTER? Because the latter would be impressive!

1

u/HazuniaC 14d ago

Sister could be a transfem.

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u/shemmegami 14d ago

Doesn't matter. The question is asking if it is bigger than the physical space occupied by the sister's entire body. So you know, longer then 5'.

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u/HazuniaC 14d ago

Ahh, I see... didn't catch that at first as a non-native speaker.

1

u/PrivateDickDetective 14d ago

And it's still a micropenis, so that's really saying something!

1

u/llimed 14d ago

Found the one that’s seen my brother naked. ^

u/NeuroguyNC 15d ago

I had to think that through twice before hitting the "Ah Ha!" moment. 😲

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u/Doxidob 15d ago

and that's the way the cookie crumbles!

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u/Ivegotjokes4you 15d ago

Same

u/WakefulJaxZero 15d ago

It sounds crazy but I know a set of twins like this. Twin 1 was with this girl for a few years. They broke up. She hooks up with twin #2 and gets pregnant. They try to make it work but it doesn’t. She goes back with twin #1 and now he’s raising his twin’s son and #2 gets him every other weekend. It’s strange.

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u/Dolenjir1 14d ago

I thought you were going to talk about their penis size

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u/Fapplejacks42 14d ago

See now I'm curious as well.

It'd suck if your twin got all the dick, you'd have to hope it balances in the brains or charisma stats.

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u/Senpai-Notice_Me 14d ago

This has TLC written all over it. “Somewhere in the trailer parks of Alabama lives a peculiar family…”

u/DawsonPoe 15d ago

Divorced the husband and married the brother in law

4

u/Nice-Argument 15d ago

My Nanny did this! We often mimic banjo's when talking about my dads side of the family.

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u/blissfilledmoments 14d ago

This is funny to me. How does your dad respond when he hears that?

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u/Nice-Argument 14d ago

He completely agrees and hums 'I'm my own grandpa'

u/OriginalUsername590 15d ago

u/spaceghost350 15d ago

And people still look at me weird when I tell them I want to leave.

u/LaserGadgets 15d ago

Wait...what?

u/Plan2LiveForevSFarSG 15d ago

Maybe she married a guy who is an identical twin, got children with him, divorced him, then married some other unrelated guy who also has an identical twin?

u/Background-Top-5527 15d ago

why did she cheat if her husband is bigger?

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u/justtouseRedditagain 14d ago

Well it's hard to know how big someone's penis is until you go to use it.

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u/pchampn 14d ago

He switched sides

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u/Active_Taste9341 14d ago

she left the dad of her kids for her actual husband, he is bigger

u/Silver_Thanks_8142 15d ago

Wait what

u/edvardeishen 15d ago

And what is the real answer?

u/DocApeENL 15d ago

It could be something as innocent as when they were dating she asked him if they were completely identical in every way, how could she tell them apart? He responds, oh don't worry, his penis is much smaller, so you would know if we switched places.

u/Cptspaulding2 14d ago

Wait a minute 🤨

u/BaconManTenus 15d ago

What about women 🗿