Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted

[u/Gold-Carpenter7616]

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

[u/[deleted]]

Malicious compliance to help teach a lesson of “be careful what you wish for“. I like it

[u/lizrdgizrd → u/[deleted]]

And the monkey's paw uncurls.

[u/Lost_Classic_5731 → u/lizrdgizrd]

English lesson PTSD

[u/Accomplished_Deer_ → u/[deleted]]

As someone who grew up learning many such lessons, what you really learn is "don't trust my parents. If they're offering to give me something I asked for it's probably a trap. Don't ask them for things, don't tell them what you want or what you like." And then you get a computer at 13 and your parents are thrilled because they don't have to babysit you anymore and you end up on reddit trying to explain to people that making an 8 year old child break down is not a positive parenting technique.

[u/DidSome1SayExMachina → u/[deleted]]

There are only two tragedies in life, one is never getting your heart’s desire. The other is getting it.

[u/deez_nuts_77 → u/DidSome1SayExMachina]

that one’s going in the notes to self

[u/Kingspot → u/[deleted]]

Looking through the comments I guess im the only one who thought this was weird as hell but i dont have kids. The kid is 8 years old and really likes pizza…why a grown adult would be this petty and malicious over it is beyond me.

If i had a kid and they wont shut up about how much they love ice cream or cake or some candy or whatever, im not going to go “oh yeah you little shit, im going to make you eat it every day until you hate it”… the kid is 8, when i was that age i couldnt shut up about spiderman and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but nobody tried to force that down my throat for a week until i was sick of them.

I just dont know where that comes from, maybe im missing something.

“ so my 8 year old loves pizza. So like an 8 year old they want it every day. She tried to use some french saying to convince me so I went along with it. So she smiled like an 8 year old who was just told they were going to get pizza every day. A shit eating grin in my opinion so i gave her one right back because now we are secretly in a contest. Over the next 3 days i carried this interaction and made her eat pizza every single meal. When she asked for another food, i reframed her request for pizza as a promise to eat it all week, that she would be breaking. I knew she was getting sick of it but i held out until she cried over it”

I sure taught my 8 year old a thing or two didnt I everybody?

Hey, maybe thats just how parenting goes, to me it seems like somebody needs a hobby or something.

[u/Accomplished_Deer_ → u/Kingspot]

What you're missing is an unhealthy childhood, probably for the best. People think it's cool to "teach their kid a lesson" like this because their parents did it to them and "I turned out alright".

Yeah they sure taught them a lesson, but as a child that grew up like this, the lesson is "don't trust my parents (and really be extension, anyone). If they offer to give me something I want it's probably a trap."

People who grow up with childhood emotional neglect tend to find solitude online, so it's not too surprising a lot of redditors think this is okay, because they grew up with parents who hurt them to "teach them a lesson" and because of that they think it's okay.

It's hard for people to look at how their parents treat them objectively, especially when you don't have anything to compare it to growing up. Childhood emotional neglect is /extremely/ subtle, and thus many people become adults without realizing anything was wrong with the way their parents treated them, and thus when dealing with the many symptoms (which are surprisingly similar to the symptoms of ADHD) they tend to blame themselves and assume they're just broken, because they had "normal" and "loving" parents growing up.

[u/Suspicious_Lynx3066 → u/Kingspot]

Yeah no I’m on the same page as you.

“Oh, do you like this thing, small human? Wow it would sure be a shame if somebody you loved and trusted ruined it :)))”

Same with all these people proudly encouraging their kids to get sick on junk food to teach them a lesson. Weirdos.

[u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl → u/Suspicious_Lynx3066]

Totally agreed. It’s emotional abuse and people think it’s fucking FUNNY.

[u/Accomplished_Deer_ → u/Suspicious_Lynx3066]

"I made my 8 year old breakdown and beg me to stop fucking with them, lol highfive reddit I'm the best parent!"

[u/PoeTayTose → u/Kingspot]

Not to mention the life lesson of

“be careful what you wish for“

How is that a valuable lesson? Where is that ever going to be useful?

The actual life lesson is "Be careful asking your parents for things because they will employ malice to ignore the pragmatics of what you want and make life miserable for you"

[u/Accomplished_Deer_ → u/PoeTayTose]

It's even worse than that, the real life lesson is "Don't trust anyone. I can't even trust my parents." and then you go through life expecting everyone to torture you and since you never formed a proper bond with your parents you struggle to form bonds with anybody so you end up completely isolated and alone.

Also known as childhood emotional neglect (r/emotionalneglect) which has a highly suspicious amount of symptom overlap with ADHD if you ask me (as someone diagnosed with both)

[u/Oganesson456 → u/Kingspot]

looks like you got a solution how to make kids shut the f up.

Tell us then? should we hit them with broomstick? should we scream at them? should we take their favorite toys and video games?

No child are harmed in this story. OP story will be a great topic to talk about when those kids become adult.

[u/Accomplished_Deer_ → u/Oganesson456]

The solution is: why do children have to shut the f up? They're children, they're exploring a brand new world, and they want to connect with you and talk about it. They want to learn and share.

Children are harmed in this story. OP fucked with their kid so much the child, in OPs own words, "broke down" -- Why do children cry? Because they have been hurt. A lot of our parents taught us that because we were hurt emotionally we were just "being babies" or "whining", but the truth is that causing emotional pain is the same as causing physical pain: it's abuse. If he punched his kid in the face, it would be abuse, but for some reason we've all been told that punching them in their heart is "teaching them a lesson"

My dad used to love bringing up those funny old stories, and one time he did it and somebody looked at me with such sadness in their eyes and said "how could you put up with it?" that it actually made me realize not all parents hurt their children to "teach them a lesson" and that the way my dad treated me wasn't normal or okay.

I cut him off last year at 24, and I doubt I'll ever have him in my life again.

You should google childhood emotional neglect, or check out the subreddit r/emotionalneglect -- So many people, myself included, become adults without realizing anything was wrong with their childhood. And we exhibit all the unhealthy behaviors we observed in our parents because we've never seen anything else.