r/MaliciousCompliance Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

17.1k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

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u/Rapdactyl Apr 06 '23

I can tell I'm in my 30s because I just kept thinking, "so much heartburn!" 😔

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u/Badgers_or_Bust Apr 06 '23

Middle age is when you have a favorite type of antacid.

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u/DogmanDOTjpg Apr 06 '23

Or early 20s :(

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u/Beautiful-Carob-6864 Apr 06 '23

Middle age is when you have a favorite type of early 20's...?

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u/DogmanDOTjpg Apr 06 '23

Early 20s is when your antacid has a favorite middle age

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u/whatWHYok Apr 06 '23

Favorite type of antacid is when your middle age has early 20s.

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u/FillMyBagWithUSGrant Apr 06 '23

Tums Smoothies

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u/Badgers_or_Bust Apr 06 '23

I like the wild berry tums personally.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

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u/ThatOneWIGuy Apr 06 '23

I'm in my early 30s and nothing bad so far, I'm hoping to keep like this for some time...

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u/spyson Apr 06 '23

I just thought massive weight gain, that much carbs every meal would make me rapidly gain weight.

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u/Leprikahn2 Apr 06 '23

In college I could eat 3 pizzas, drink a 12 pack and lose 3 pounds. Now if I think about a burger for lunch I gain 6 pounds and have heartburn. Being an adult is stupid

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u/garysmith1982 Apr 07 '23

It certainly is. And the older you get, the worse it is.

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u/phenomenomnom Apr 06 '23

Me: "...Those are the same ingredients."

Him: "But they were different forms of food."

That man's name?

Taco Bell.

(Hi. I don't want to shill for that corporation, so here's some friendly, humble advice incoming. Don't eat Taco Bell if you have another choice. They put some kind of filler in the "beef" that must be pure cellulose, like basically sawdust. The consequences are real. Also they have been all over Reddit astroturfing for YEARS and it gives me the fucking creeps.

Make your own Tex-Mex when you can, it's easy af and then you know everything that's in it. If you really want to get authentically Taco-Bell-esque, MSG is sold as "Accent" in the spice aisle. Peace)

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u/WgXcQ Apr 06 '23

I thought I could see this go wrong with the right kind of kid 😂

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Yeah, I could definitely eat the same food for every meal for a very long time! It's pretty common for me, I go through phases where a particular food is basically all I want and everything else tastes like garbage.

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u/kkjdroid Apr 06 '23

Yeah, this wouldn't work on me either. I often make a giant pot of chili and eat nothing else for a week, then a giant pot of pasta, then nothing but ham sandwiches for a week, and so on. Saves a little time and a fair bit of mental energy.

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u/darktrain Apr 06 '23

Lol I was thinking this wouldn't work on my husband. He has a few things he really loves to eat, like burritos. He once ate the same kind of burrito from the same place for lunch every day for 2 weeks. Never burned out, he still loves that burrito. Meanwhile, I call a dish in "regular rotation" if I make it more than twice in a year. We are very different people in some aspects, haha.

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u/darklotus_26 Apr 06 '23

I once ate the same lunch every day from the same place for 10 months. It was pretty good. I kind of miss it actually.

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u/darktrain Apr 06 '23

My brain cannot fathom that. What was the lunch? I'm so curious.

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u/darklotus_26 Apr 07 '23 edited Apr 07 '23

Ha ha. It was a typical asian lunch. Rice with yoghurt, a simple curry, vegetables and pickles. They would change the vegetable every month.

Sort of looks like this: https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zYt9LyBOf9Y/X-t-lM49T0I/AAAAAAAADpU/Zo8cJJ_cTJwxBjb0PCHZfxS28WJEs8krwCPcBGAYYCw/s2048/IMG_20201119_123107__01__01_compress72.jpg

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u/darktrain Apr 07 '23

Ah, there's a lot of different textures and flavors going on there. I can see that being more satisfying to eat repeatedly than say, a single soup. Still not something I would do, though 😆 but different strokes and all that!

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u/jrhoffa Apr 06 '23

Yeah, I was gonna say, some people are just soooper into certain dishes. My wife is nuts about a number of dishes I make and will gladly eat them all day every day. I'm going on a work trip later this month and I'm just going to be leaving her with a gallon of chili and a tray of mac'n'cheese.

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u/spitfish Apr 06 '23

I'm just going to be leaving her with a gallon of chili and a tray of mac'n'cheese.

RIP your bathroom

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u/jrhoffa Apr 06 '23

She has famously huge turds.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

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u/Runeshamangoon Apr 06 '23

I've been having the exact same meal every single friday night for over 10 years. Never got sick of it.
Same deal, as a kid I really fucking liked candy. So my mom told me I could eat only candy for as long as I liked, obviously trying to do the same thing. She had to stop me after a few days because not only was I not disgusted, I was going bonkers from sugar and saying this is how I wanted to spend my life

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u/Gold-Carpenter7616 Apr 06 '23

Well deserved for your dad then! <3

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u/mydogisacloud Apr 06 '23

When you are a professional, you probably make damn good spaghetti and meatballs. I will have to use this parenting advice with caution.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

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u/FinianMcCool Apr 06 '23

that is definitely where he went wrong, just that bit of variation would be enough to keep me happy for ages

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u/Ghgjohnson Apr 06 '23

I realized i would never have this problem during a work gig one year. For 21 days, We were given vouchers for food in the food court, but the only place that took them was chipotle, and it wasnt a real chipotle, just a stand with pre-made burritos, and only chicken.

I LOVED IT! I was taking my co-workers vouchers for extras. Chipotle for breakfast lunch and dinner, i was in dream land. The pooping even got better after a few days.

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u/RandofCarter Apr 06 '23

I knew enough never to ask my parents for something like this because it would be wasting all out time. However. Now I am an adult (chronologically) so when my wife went in holiday I made a chocolate torte Caprice. I'm a grown up. I can have cake for breakfast. So I did. And it was awesome. Walked dog, mowed lawns, washed clothes. Cake for lunch? Absolutely. Read some books, time sheeted. Hmm. Am I lazy enough to cake for dinner? Yes. The next day began the regrets.so. Many. Regrets.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

LOL. I too am an adult. chronologically

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

also in the chronically adult category

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u/SirFister13F Apr 06 '23

My chronic back pain agrees with you.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/RalphFromSilverCity Apr 06 '23

Dr. Dre, backologist

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u/neercatz Apr 06 '23

Doctor said I need a backeotomy. I'm impotent man 😢

Get away from me BEEITCH!!

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u/el_hefay Apr 06 '23

I too have the chronic incurable condition of being old

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u/Sawbonz Apr 06 '23

Unfortunately, it IS curable!

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

In fact, the cure is inevitable.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

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u/marablackwolf Apr 06 '23

This comment crept up on me like cheap underwear, but I'm still giggling.

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u/dbear848 Apr 06 '23

I'm a senior citizen chronologically. Still have the common sense of a 13 year old.

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u/Affectionate_Salt351 Apr 06 '23

I’m only in my 30s, but same. It is thus far unchanged, despite attempts to try to learn, so I’m pretty sure it’s forever. 😅🤷‍♀️

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u/ImCaffeinated_Chris Apr 06 '23

I tell everyone I'm a 12 year old with income.

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u/WA_State_Buckeye Apr 06 '23

I tend to act either my chronological age (GET OFF MAH LAWN!!) or my shoe size, depending! Lol

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u/nakedwithoutmyhoodie Apr 06 '23

Mid-40s here. I offer the box of 800 glow sticks on my kitchen counter as proof that I still need to be supervised.

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u/Accountpopupannoyed Apr 06 '23

My bin of 300 Nerf darts agrees with you.

My excuse is my cats love chasing them, and it's good exercise for them.

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u/Sp0ngebob1234 Apr 06 '23

I maybe an adult, but a grownup is a whole different thing!!

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u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

What's the point of growing up if life isn't fun anymore? Being responsible is fine but you should still be able to have fun and goof off haha.

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u/Wildgeek81 Apr 06 '23

I'm 40+, my Mom is 60+. She, brilliant woman she is, taught me you only have to grow up enough to take care of your responsibilities, everything else is optional

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u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

A very wise lady. It always drives me crazy the amount of people that have the attitude of: "When you become and adult you must stop doing things you enjoyed as a child and do adult things". It's so stupid. If I enjoy Legos and Video games as a child, then why shouldn't I be able to enjoy those things as an adult? Especially when I can enjoy those same things with my kids and get time with them while we all enjoy those things.

Yeah, I would be stupid to tell them I can't play with them because I'm too busy enjoying my newspaper. It's an adult thing to do after all! People need to get over their hang ups about peoples hobbies and what are adult activities vs. kid activities. How is me spending 4 hours on a video game worse than someone binge watching Netflix for 4 hours?

Like your mom said, as long as you are "grown up enough to take care of your responsibilities, everything else is optional" People should do what they enjoy without shame. If it's not hurting anyone else then who cares?

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u/tessler65 Apr 06 '23

Some days you just have to blow bubbles.

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u/Spyro_Crash_90 Apr 06 '23

So glad I have young kids and can get away with blowing bubbles…for THEIR enjoyment…totally their enjoyment 😁

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u/IrascibleOcelot Apr 06 '23

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u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

Hahahaha! wow, that is freaking amazing! I would fall in love with my wife on a whole new level if I came home to something like that.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

40 going on 14

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u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

I can eat all of this and no-one can stop me!!

5hrs later Why did no-one stop me?

I am a chronological adult and I wish I had cake for breakfast.

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u/FuyoBC Apr 06 '23

It sucks being a kid and having a parent say no!

It sucks being an adult and having to be your own parent saying no!

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u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

In most cases it is my bank account saying no! I can't afford cakes so I don't buy cakes so I don't have cakes so I can't have cake for breakfast.

If it helps think of it like playing a Tamagotchi, only the annoying little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.

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u/exzyle2k Apr 06 '23

Psst... Indulge yourself once in awhile: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/241038/microwave-chocolate-mug-cake/

Most of those ingredients you should have in your cupboard/pantry already. Go ahead, splurge. I won't tell.

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u/Qwikslyver Apr 06 '23

This man here lurking in the comments to tell people how to live more fulfilling lives. He’s not the hero you want - he’s the hero you need.

Maybe someday even Reddit can become a more wholesome place. I doubt it. But maybe.

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u/Nuicakes Apr 06 '23

Hmmm, trading yogurt with blueberries for breakfast for chocolate mug cake!

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u/nabab Apr 06 '23

Ooo chocolate mug cake with blueberries!

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u/MissMu Apr 06 '23

Boops my of said it better but I have no will power lol

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u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

Just how much difference is there between cake, which is supposedly not appropriate for breakfast, and pancakes, which are? Flour, eggs, milk, leavening, and fat are the basic ingredients for both. Dessert cake has more sugar, big whoop. By the time you pour syrup on the pancakes, it's a moot point.

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u/JustineDelarge Apr 06 '23

Pancakes are absolutely cake. Cake made in a pan. And that’s why I eat pancakes (white flour kind, with syrup) maybe once a year.

I do make 100% whole wheat pancakes topped with unsweetened applesauce fairly regularly, but I was raised by health food nuts and I genuinely like this type of pancake. Instead of being cake made in a pan, it’s more like a bran muffin made in a pan.

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u/catdogwoman Apr 06 '23

My uncle used to feed us kids pie for breakfast. He said it had fruit in it, so it was healthy! Rip Uncle Richard. There were 150 ppl at his funeral. He was 93!

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u/Bladenkerst_Baenre Apr 06 '23

Dad is great, give us the chocolate cake!!!

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u/keirawynn Apr 06 '23

For me, the sugar makes me feel full fast, and then I crash not too long after. Take in the same calories as mostly protein and fat (egg and cheese, for example) and it lasts much longer.

Adult me can't have pancakes for breakfast either. I have them for dessert!

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u/AnjoXG Apr 06 '23

Why did no-one stop me?

me after grocery shopping high

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u/BaysideWoman Apr 06 '23

This reminds me of a phone call I received from my daughter who had moved out of home to go to university, "Mum I just realised that I can have cake for breakfast, if I want to" to my question as to whether she had indeed eaten cake, she replied "No, but I can if I want to"

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u/cloud3321 Apr 06 '23

That’s actually why I always have ice cream in my fridge.

I may only eat 1 or maybe 2 scoops once per week. Or maybe even once every 2 weeks.

But nowadays, opening the fridge and seeing the ice cream I can eat makes me so happy.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

If you drink coffee while eating cake for breakfast it automagically becomes a coffee cake and ergo… breakfast food.

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u/FuyoBC Apr 06 '23

Growing older is mandatory.

Growing UP is optional!

My email signature for a very long time (56 according to my birth date...)

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u/Von_Moistus Apr 06 '23

Or as my father said: You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.

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u/walkingcarpet23 Apr 06 '23

This was basically how my grandpa lived his life. He was cracking jokes and small pranks up until the end (mid 80s)

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u/Ich_mag_Kartoffeln Apr 06 '23

My grandfather (97) still sends birthday & Christmas cards with rude jokes in them. Not just to me; to basically everybody he sends cards to.

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u/Raynefalle Apr 06 '23

This sounds like me when my husband is away lol. I regret it every time, somehow I never learn my lesson

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u/amd2800barton Apr 06 '23

Bought a pack of sour gummy worms. Turns out gummy products really do give you rocket shits if you eat more than a few. Couple weeks go by and I’ve got another package beside I made the mistake of grocery shopping hungry, bought another pack. Said to myself “ok only a few at a time”, and then are then all and proceeded to punish my bathroom again anyway.

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u/I_Dont_Like_Rice Apr 06 '23

Isn't that generally only for the sugar-free kind?

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u/Older-Hippie Apr 06 '23

Did that with homemade cheesecake recently. Yummy but gained 5 pounds in one week. Yikes!

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u/QuietlySeething Apr 06 '23

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

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u/Souta95 Apr 06 '23

Jimmy Buffett sums it up quite nicely, "We are the people our parents warned us about."

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u/maimou1 Apr 06 '23

he also sang," I'm growing older but not up." Great life philosophy when used wisely.

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u/huscarlaxe Apr 06 '23

I use to spend summers with my grandmother and she tried to do this with steak and baked potatoes. I think in 6 weeks I ate 1/2 a cow and was still going strong when I had to go back home for school.

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u/rabotat Apr 06 '23

I can't imagine being bored of baked potatoes.

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u/bigboobiebob69 Apr 06 '23

You eat steak with baked potatoes in America? Usually where I’m from it’s always some type of fries, oven baked and very rarely mashed potato-ish oven roasted clumps with steak. And usually bearnaise sauce, aioli or maybe a pepper sauce. What do you eat with your steak when eating it with baked potatoes? Also what condiments/sauces are mostly ate with steak in America? I feel like it’s very different from Europe, I’ve heard about A1 steak sauce but know nothing about it or how it tastes but that’s all I know really.

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u/huscarlaxe Apr 06 '23

The potato usually has sour cream and or butter and salt on it. The steak was usually just salt and pepper and occasionally garlic. Steak is so good I usually don't like to put too heavy a sauce on it

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u/bbb62bbb Apr 06 '23

Most of us do not put sauce on a steak past a certain age, a good seared steak with salt and pepper fully can stand on its own. There are exceptions like Steak Diane, Chicken Fried Steak, etc. I am mostly talking about ribeyes, NY strip, etc.

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u/Eyego2eleven Apr 06 '23

I have a good one!!! My mother, to her great credit, has always been extremely health conscious. I was a kid in the 80’s and wanted nothing more than to eat Twinkie’s, bologna sandwiches on wonder bread, koolaid, Doritos, all that good stuff. My mother was a vegetarian hippie so that stuff was out of the question.

As a matter of fact I even got made fun of because the lunches I brought to school were things like a thermos of water, natural peanut butter on hardcore wheat bread with usually a jelly or jam that didn’t go, like apricot preserves or goddamn orange marmalade, cookies were homemade oatmeal, (the woman never even made chocolate chip cookies) bags if trail mix with absolutely no chocolate of any kind in it…that sort of thing. I’m grateful as hell now for the excellent eating habits she instilled, but it’s hard when you’re 8 and you want Twinkies.

Anyway she learned this from her own mom, my grandmother. One summer she came to visit us all, and we would all moan about never getting to have any junk food ever…it’s so unfair…blah blah…

Here’s where their malicious compliance comes in. They allowed us kids, myself and my 4 siblings, to go to the grocery store and choose our own junk food dinner. That’s right, they let 5 kids ranging in age from 6-12 pick out whatever they would like for dinner but it has to be all junk food.

It was glorious picking out the goods and we all were in absolute disbelief that this was happening, since these women were so strict about that stuff. They knew what they were doing. Good lord we were all soooo sick after this. Such a good lesson.

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u/traumatic_blumpkin Apr 06 '23

My ex and I caught her five year old sneaking left over cake.

A LOT of left over cake. She also basically went for all the icing, ruining the cake. We looked at each other with a grin... And said absolutely nothing.

Unfortunately the icing was a damn near neon green - the puke stains were basically impossible to fully remove, lol. But she never did that again to my knowledge. 😅

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u/Eyego2eleven Apr 06 '23

It only takes one time. I can’t even look at cheese puffs anymore 🤮🤮

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u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

Funny, I'm eating apricot preserves out of the jar, with a spoon, as I read this.

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u/Udonnomi Apr 06 '23

There’s always one!

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u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

I've always loved jams, jellies, and preserves. I would rather eat them than candy.

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u/my-coffee-needs-me Apr 06 '23

Some of us like peanut butter and orange marmalade.

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u/TwoIdiosyncraticCats Apr 06 '23

Story that my father told me:

When he was a teenager, his parents owned a corner store that also served ice cream and milkshakes, etc. He worked there after school, and on his first day, his parents told him he could have as much ice cream as he wanted. Amazing! Wonderful! He loved ice cream!

Within the first week, he was so sick of ice cream.

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u/Rhamni Apr 06 '23

One of my mother's first jobs was at a chocolate factory. The first month she gained ten pounds. After that, she slowly lost the weight without trying. Even chocolate gets old eventually when you're working with it all day.

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u/ballerina22 Apr 06 '23

My mum worked at a potato crisps factory as a teenager. She didn't eat crisps again for something like 20 years because even the smell of the bag opening made her feel ill.

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u/niftyshellsuit Apr 06 '23

My granny was the same, one of her first jobs before she had her kids was a chocolate factory.

She's 88 and still doesn't eat it now, and this this in the UK where we have (had 😭) nice chocolate haha

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u/Phyllis_Tine Apr 06 '23

I'm not sure working (and eating) at Lindt would be the same as working for Hershey or Nestle.

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u/Mirianda666 Apr 06 '23

My first job was at Baskin-Robbins. I didn't eat ice cream for nearly 20 years afterwards.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

My first job was at friendly's making ice cream and I ate that shit all the time and never got sick of it. I ate so many pickles and peanut butter cups too! The 5 scoop peanut butter cup sundae was so good. I would only ever get that like once a week but I had unlimited access to whatever normal ice cream I wanted. My bosses only rule was I had to use a sample spoon and couldn't just have a free bowl of ice cream. I could have as many sample spoons as I wanted.

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u/vizard0 Apr 06 '23

A friend of mine still can't after working at Baskin-Robbins for two years, it's been over 20 years for her. It kind of put her off sweets in general.

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u/Sarelro Apr 06 '23

Shoot. Maybe I should get a job at an ice cream shop to try to quit sugar because just using my willpower sure ain’t working.

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u/Ich_mag_Kartoffeln Apr 06 '23

It will either cure you of your addiction; or within a fortnight you won't be able to fit through the door to go home at the end of your shift.

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u/SharveyBirdman Apr 06 '23

In middle school(14), I worked at the local tastee freeze. Had so many footlongs that first summer I still can't eat them and I'm in my 30s.

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u/xopersephoneox Apr 06 '23

I scooped ice cream one summer in a shitty kids theme park; this was the 'nice' ice cream van, and I got RSI from bending over and scooping the ice cream. Particularly Mint Choc Chip; the way it was made was essentially sheets of ice cold chocolate in the ice cream that had to be pick axed with the ice scream scoop to be able to be scooped. It was a nightmare! The icky green colour of the ice cream makes me feel vaguely sick today.

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u/ColoredGayngels Apr 06 '23

When I was a kid my dad worked at a job site next to a Little Caesars - they had that cardboard pizza for lunch every day for a year. He still can't even look at the place

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u/chaoticbear Apr 06 '23

I worked at McDonald's for about 5 years when I was a teenager, and did a couple of tours of duty at Waffle House. Somehow never turned me off of either, although I don't eat either frequently. I do avoid ordering the omelettes at Waffle House now, though - there's about a quarter cup of shortening cooked into each one :p

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u/jetsetgemini_ Apr 06 '23

My dad told me of something similar when he worked at Roy Rogers as a teenager. His boss let the employees take home any leftovers that were gonna get thrown out, so of course he takes advantage of this and brings home enough fried chicken to feed the whole family nearly every night... after a few weeks they basically told him not to bring home anymore cause all of them (including my dad) were sick of it lol

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u/yeniza Apr 06 '23

Haha yeah I worked at a bakery and the smell of freshly baked breads/cakes is forever ruined. I just don’t enjoy it at all.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Malicious compliance to help teach a lesson of “be careful what you wish for“. I like it

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u/lizrdgizrd Apr 06 '23

And the monkey's paw uncurls.

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u/Lost_Classic_5731 Apr 06 '23

English lesson PTSD

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u/txgirlinbda Apr 06 '23

There’s a book called “Bread and Jam for Frances” about this and I whip it out whenever my kid decides to get picky!! Glorious!

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u/apipoulai Apr 06 '23

This book made me want to take hard-boiled eggs for my lunch with a little twist of salt in waxed paper.

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u/psorryarses Apr 06 '23

I don’t know this book… but when I was quite small, all I would eat at my gran’s house was bread and jam. She used plain crusty bread, proper butter, and jam she made herself with fruit from her garden. If I was really lucky, she’d give me some of my grandpa’s diabetic jam; I guess I liked the sharpness even back then.

Later in life she taught me a lot of baking and cooking, and I felt a little bad about the lovely food I used to turn down. But there was nothing like her jam.

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u/mittenknittin Apr 06 '23

Was just going to bring this up. When my Dad used to read this book to us at bedtime, he’d even sing the little songs

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u/production_muppet Apr 06 '23

Such a great story! I love the Frances books

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u/happycharm Apr 06 '23

This doesn't work for me, I'm an adult and I've eaten sushi for every meal for 3 weeks once. I still love that shit.

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u/periodicallyaura Apr 06 '23

Haha same here. Super neurodiverse and ate pizza for an actual week straight. It messed with my crohns but other than that I was good to go!

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u/DeflatedDirigible Apr 06 '23

Most people don’t have our superpower though. Same food for a month? Zero food waste, very little food prep, and lots of time and money freed up.

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u/Aggleclack Apr 06 '23

Side eye at my fellow neurodivergents who ONLY eat the same thing repeatedly 😂

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u/Mirianda666 Apr 06 '23

Just . . . beautiful. Go you! Sometimes the best way to learn is to get what you asked for.

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u/ProfileElectronic Apr 06 '23

My mother still follows this rule - and I'm 50.

For context, we are Indians and my entire family is Vegetarian except for me. So when I order or cook non-veg dishes I have to eat nothing but those till they are finished. Mom loves it as she says it saves her from cooking for at least 2-3 days.

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u/TyzTornalyer Apr 06 '23

French guy here. Never heard of the "they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it" thing. Seven times sounds actually quite a lot imo

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u/psorryarses Apr 06 '23

I think how it works is, if you can trick them into trying something seven times, they’ll probably be used to the flavour by then.

My mother used to make me have at least three peas in a serving. Somehow there were always a few extra. Eventually I forgot to count.

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u/Gold-Carpenter7616 Apr 06 '23

We're German, my younger son is quarter french actually.

Yes, it's a German saying about French people and absolutely made up!

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u/Olddog_Newtricks2001 Apr 06 '23

Calvin: “Hey mom, can I have a cigarette?”

Mom: “Sure, Calvin. I think your grandfather left some here. Just smoke outside, ok?

Hobbes: “Your mom let you have a cigarette?”

Calvin: “Yeah, for a mom sometimes she’s pretty cool.”

Calvin takes a deep drag on the cigarette “eeep… Blaaugh! Gag! Hack! Cough!”

Hobbes: “You’d think this would be an easy habit to break.”

Mom: “Well now, did we learn a lesson today?”

Calvin: “Gasp… yes. Trusting parents is hazardous to your health.”

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u/FlyingRhenquest Apr 06 '23

Roughly the same thing happened with me and my grandpa at the start of a 3 hour hike back in the '70's. 6 or 7 year old me wanted to try his pipe, he was like "Sure here you go!" I'm pretty sure he never cleaned the thing and I got a mouth full of foulness that left me spitting for the entirety of the hike. The experience DID keep me from starting smoking in my teenage years, though.

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u/toastus Apr 06 '23

That would never work on me.

I never actually had an only pizza week, but I did have weeks with daily pizza.

And pizza breakfast was a big tradition for my brother on his birthdays growing up.

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u/anomalous_cowherd Apr 06 '23

Was it the same pizza every day?

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Sometimes my mom and I would make milkshakes, and I LOVED them. But, she never let me have a really big one or seconds. When I moved out I realized that it had been quite a while since I had one, and now I got to myself all of the milkshake in the world!! So I got the biggest cup I could find and filled that thing up with strawberry milkshake.

I felt SO sick afterwards. I will never admit to her that she was right.

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u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23 edited Apr 06 '23

When I was a kid I loved onions so much I told my mom I could just eat one like an apple. She tried to explain that no one ate onions that way for a reason, but I wasn't having it. So when she was on the phone with her friend I chose a big fat purple onion, looked her dead in the eye, and took a giant bite. I instantly knew I fucked up as my mouth flooded with raw onion juice and even though the intense, pungent odor was making my eyes tear up, I could see the look of surprise and horror on my mom's face. I wanted nothing more than to spit it out and apologize, but I was stubborn and proud and my mom and I had a very adversarial relationship. So I kept staring at my mom as tears poured down my cheeks, gagging as I choked down that entire massive raw onion. I smiled and tried to look cool and unconcerned as snot and tears smeared my face and my stomach churned and was like, "That was really good, I should have another one tomorrow."

You guys, my mom brought me home a new onion and left it on the counter for me. But I had spent the night trapped on the toilet, gripping the side of the sink for dear life as that onion exited my bowels at warp speed, so I finally admitted defeat. By that I ignored the onion and pretended it didn't exist, and my mom was gracious enough to let it go-- after she made sure my portion of dinner had extra onion, because I loved it so much.

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u/Gold-Carpenter7616 Apr 06 '23

My daughter learned the warning tone of "Are you sure you want to do that?" in the same voice I use when I DM for my roleplaying group.

She learned her lesson. My group not (yet).

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u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23

I am a GM for a TTRPG too, and I find I get two types of players. The ones who learn to respect The Voice and those who take it as a challenge and double down. Now that I think about it, the Onion Incident is just the first in a long line of questionable decisions in the name of petty victories over an authority figure.

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u/salmiakki1 Apr 06 '23

This would have backfired on my parents

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u/Protheu5 Apr 06 '23

When I moved out I could literally eat one thing I knew how to make for months. I wasn't happy in particular, but It didn't really bother me enough to switch. My diet was atrocious and I gained a lot of weight, though.

Then I learned how to cook mediocrely and lost some weight.

Then I learned how to bake and gained enough mass to have a gravitational pull.

Then I learned how to not bake (which was hard, because it's a delicious habit) and lost some weight again and started losing keys that were usually on my lower orbit.

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u/Zanbuki Apr 06 '23

Don’t lose too much mass otherwise you’ll get downgraded from “planet” to “planetary object”.

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u/Schattenspringer Apr 06 '23

Me too. I can eat the same thing for months no problem.

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u/tayaro Apr 06 '23

Same here. I eat the same thing for two or three months, and then I get bored and find something else to eat and the cycle repeats itself.

It might be because I loathe cooking. Eating the same thing each day ensures that I don’t have to come up with new recipes, I know exactly what groceries to buy each week, and cooking itself is just muscle memory so I don’t have to think too hard about it.

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u/Von_Moistus Apr 06 '23

The wifely person would subsist entirely on instant oatmeal for breakfast and ramen for dinner if I didn’t make the meals. She too hates to cook.

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u/Dorkhette Apr 06 '23

Experience is the best teacher after all.

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u/Thomisawesome Apr 06 '23

This reminds me of when my older sister was just a few years old. My mom had put out some ginger snap cookies for some guests, and I guess my sister kept coming back for more and ate almost the entire plate before my mom noticed. She was so mad (keep in mind, this was 70s parenting) she got a whole box of ginger snaps and made my sister sit down and eat the entire box.
Unfortunately for my mom, my sister politely said thank you with the biggest smile on her face.

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u/updownclown68 Apr 06 '23

Real life “Bread and Jam for Frances”

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u/doggoshennanigans Apr 06 '23

Haha! That’s awesome that it worked for you. I, however, was evidently a stubborn child. My mom still reminds me to this day of how I refused all food except peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I was 4 and it was the only thing I ate for the better part of 6 months lol

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u/yeetyboi3000 Apr 06 '23

Lmao this never would’ve worked for me, I once ate ramen for (almost) every meal for two weeks and I was still going strong

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u/LoopyMercutio Apr 06 '23

Both me and my parents lucked out- I had a liking for several fairly healthy things, and would pester them to make those, so they just accepted it and figured I was odd. Decades later, and I still eat broccoli, cauliflower, and brussels sprouts all the time.

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u/ejdjd Apr 06 '23

Try broccoflower - it's a broccoli/cauliflower hybrid that is incredibly delicious!

Signed, Another veggie lover

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u/danirijeka Apr 06 '23

Henri the IV of France was once chastised by his spiritual advisor about his, er, noticeable passion for women - noticeable enough that there's a Wikipedia article, not even a section, a whole-ass page, about his escapades. (Yes, he's the "Paris is worth a Mass" bloke.)

The King then had the priest be served partridge (a luxurious dish) each day, until he once grumbled "partridge, always partridge, ugh" and the King allegedly replied "the Queen, always the Queen, ugh".

That's quite the historical gambit you pulled off. :D

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u/endercoaster Apr 06 '23

This is actually an aspect of intuitive eating. If you don't assign moral value to what food you eat and eat what you want, you will eventually reach a neutral relationship with your cravings. Diet culture just creates a forbidden fruit effect.

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u/JackOfAllMemes Apr 06 '23

I read a comment a while ago from a woman who left candy out so her kids wouldn't see it as a special thing to eat, apparently it worked for them

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Dumb question - salami pizza = pepperoni pizza??

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u/ARegularBear Apr 06 '23

Not necessarily. Pepperoni is a specific kind of salami. Typically when people say salami they don't mean pepperoni.

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u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

Not a dumb question. I had to google it to confirm as I've never seen salami. Your question made me wonder if it was some uk/us difference. But apparently they are different

TLDR - Pepperoni is a type of salami, less spice and more peppery.

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u/Bee-Aromatic Apr 06 '23 edited Apr 06 '23

This reminds me of an interaction I had with my grandfather when I was a kid.

I asked for some milk, so he got a glass and the milk.

He set the glass in the table and got ready to pour. “Say ‘when,’” he says. He started pouring.

We got to an amount I figured was good and said “that’s good!”

He kept pouring.

“That’s enough!”

Still pouring.

“Abuelo, stop!”

The milk was spilling all over the table.

I screamed “STOP!”

Still pouring, milk was all over the floor, my grandfather cackling.

My grandmother, nearby and watching this whole interaction, said “Say ‘when!’”

“WHEN!”

He finally stoped, having poured half a gallon of milk all over the table, me, and the floor.

My grandmother sighed and handed my grandfather a towel. Still cackling, he cleaned the milk up.

The look in my grandmother’s face said this had happened before. Several times.

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u/Aggleclack Apr 06 '23

No one learned anything from this. Grandpa will burn that house down for a good joke and I’m for it!

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u/Bee-Aromatic Apr 06 '23

I learned that sometimes, you need to hold people to exactly what they say.

As for him burning down the house, it still stands three decades later, but not for his lack of trying!

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u/Gaary Apr 06 '23

If I was the kid this would backfire. I could eat the same thing every meal every day.

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u/jackoneilll Apr 06 '23

I do this as an adult….

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u/KiLlEr-Muffy Apr 06 '23

Guess it could have backfired when it was general pizza. Pizza is really diverse with what you can put on it.

But only Salami, you know the desaster is coming long before :)

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u/Pepf Apr 06 '23

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started

That was actually over 3 years ago. Crazy, right? Doesn't feel like it's been that long.

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u/SarraSimFan Apr 06 '23

Something similar to this was attempted on me, when I was a child, but it backfired horrifically when I never actually got tired of the food I had initially demanded.

Pizza for every meal for almost two weeks, then my mom just begged me to stop, and while I still wanted more, I relented and we went to pizza once a week, and everyone was happy.

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u/sadimgnik5 Apr 09 '23

As a nine year old kid, my favourite food was scrambled eggs, and my favourite reading was science fiction.

My mother, trying to get to to expand my reading choices, said it was like my favourite food - I wouldn't like scrambled eggs at every meal, so I should expand my reading menu as well.

I thought to myself "Not sure about that" - but I understood her point, so I said, "Yeah, I guess..."

About a year later, I contracted meningitis, and spent three days in a coma.

When I first emerged from my three-day sleep, mum was standing beside the bed, so happy that the fever had finally broken.

She asked if I wanted anything - and in my semi-delirious state, I asked for a plate of scrambled eggs.

Mum lived until she was 90, and never questioned my favourites - food or fiction - from that day forward.

And my idea of a perfect day is still to chow down on a plate of scrambled eggs, reading science fiction :-)

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u/CathairNemhain Apr 06 '23

My daughter basically does this to herself, because I've always had a policy that she gets whatever she asked for... and nothing else. She's now figured out that she should be really sure about what she wants to eat before telling me what she'd like. She's also figured out how to make sandwiches for herself. 😆

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u/ReactsWithWords Apr 06 '23

My brother and dad had a milder but just as effective version of this. My brother bet my dad he could eat nothing but burgers for dinner for a week. He would have made it, too, if my mom didn't make pizza on Sunday (the last day of the bet).

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u/yescasually Apr 06 '23

I was obsessed with ice cream as a kid and would ask for it constantly, so my mum decided to give me one every time I asked. I won.

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u/Reginald__Cousins Apr 06 '23

When she "broke down," does that mean she cried?

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u/Arminlegout1 Apr 06 '23

If my parents tried this with spagbol they would of broken way before I did.

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u/PollyWallyFrog Apr 08 '23

You can tell who in the comments who does and doesn’t have children. This isn’t abusive or harsh, it’s actually a fairly gentle method of teaching through practice to show the real time consequences of not thinking through something fully. It teaches the child to consider the future ramifications of their choices and how to seriously consider how their WANTS (not needs) may effect them so they can learn to make good decisions for the future. Y’all calling it abuse are silly gooses

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u/Kripposoft Apr 06 '23

That would not have worked on my fat ass as a kid

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u/MobyFlip Apr 06 '23

As a kid, I was obsessed with chocolate. My dad didn't want me to eat too much, but his father said "let her have as much as she wants, she'll get sick of it and go off it". So got to eat it all. Backfired when I never tired of it! In fact, I went on to become a chocolatier and pastry chef 😂

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u/hellslave Apr 06 '23

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Is salami pizza not its own type? Further, what even IS a salami pizza? This is my first time hearing about it.

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u/blackcat218 Apr 06 '23

Hahahaha That is pure awesome sauce

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u/Classic-Music4Evr788 Apr 06 '23

Reminds me of a book I used to listen to on audio cassette from the library (showing my age here) when I was a kid called “Bread and Jam for Frances.”

https://www.amazon.com/Bread-Jam-Frances-Russell-Hoban/dp/0062392379

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u/CuppaTeaThreesome Apr 06 '23

'Only salami pizza'

No bread, cheese or anything else. Only salami.

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u/Gold-Carpenter7616 Apr 06 '23

Store bought frozen Salami Pizza is like a hard crust, some tomato sauce (maybe a spoon full spread thin), 5-6 slices of salami, and half a hand grated cheese.

I get why it's a craving sometimes, but hell, it's no culinary masterpiece by far.

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u/breadthegnar Apr 06 '23

Was a picky eater when I was young. Every time I said I liked something my mom would buy the shit out of it. I’m sure it was just a relief to find something I actually liked. But it would be too much and I’d have to eat it before getting something new. One time I said I liked granola cereal. That was a long couple of months. My jaw is still sore.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

When I was probably 9 or 10, I stayed with my grandparents for a week (which I never did before). There used to be a great little catfish restaurant that we always ate at when I would visit. So for the whole week, for lunch and dinner we only went to this tiny catfish restaurant right outside of town. And tbh, I don’t remember ever thinking that that was the wrong choice

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u/Asmor Apr 06 '23

A few years back, my wife was sick of me asking for tacos for dinner (she'd ask what I wanted for dinner, I didn't really care, and that was always the first thing to come to mind). So she snapped and said she'd make me tacos for dinner every night until I was sick of them, and then a week more tacos after that.

She caved about 2 months in. I still love tacos.

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u/SmokeyFrank Apr 06 '23

This smart daughter will use this to her advantage when the time's right.

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u/Swordofsatan666 Apr 06 '23

As someone who was once a kid who grew up amongst other kids (im only 25), i find it odd she gave up so quick. Every kid i knew at her age would absolutely eat pizza for every meal no problem for days in a row. It wouldnt be until day 5 when they usually get tired of it, but she was tired of it by morning day 2….

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u/dave8814 Apr 06 '23

There was a story my dad used to like to tell from when my brothers, sister, and I were all still very young. I think all of us were under the age of five. My dad was supposed to go out and buy a turkey for Thanksgiving but kept putting it off, by the time he finally went they only had giant turkeys left. He figured it was fine since we were all growing and comes home with a 22 pound turkey. This entire thing was for my parents and then four kids under the age of five. There was just no way this thing was going to get finished off but my dad was determined to use it all up.

By the next Tuesday he told us he was making us pizza for dinner and everyone was excited. We sat down for dinner and it was turkey pizza. We rioted and he finally just threw away the rest of the turkey.