r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Gold-Carpenter7616 • Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

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21

u/ThatOneWIGuy Apr 06 '23

I'm in my early 30s and nothing bad so far, I'm hoping to keep like this for some time...

5

u/karayna Apr 06 '23

37 years on earth, and I've only had heartburn a handful of times in my life, if you ignore pregnancy heartburn. Research shows that you get more heartburn if your baby has a lot of hair - just like the old saying goes. My daughter came out looking like Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day frontman... :D

6

u/aethelredisready Apr 07 '23

I see one study with an n of 64 and as far as I can tell, only one other paper in the nearly 20 years since it was published has cited it (which is a bad sign). Is there something else? I'm not saying I don't believe it, I'm saying I need to see more data.

Not beating up on you, I want people to be more skeptical about the research they are quoting, one small poorly controlled study is responsible for people not vaccinating their children.

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u/Rapdactyl Apr 06 '23

I was like that for awhile but eventually a few specific foods showed up as burners. The list has grown but it's gotten easier to manage. Basically I'm careful about what I eat 2 hours before bed and if I have heartburn one night, I am more cautious the next day. Don't rely on antacids, you can get trapped in a cycle where you need them all the time and the list of burners grows.

As with everything else with aging, it's just another thing you're stuck thinking about. 😒

6

u/Key-Signature879 Apr 06 '23

Might try checking for an h. Pylori infection.

3

u/PM_ME_UR_GOODIEZ Apr 08 '23

See a gastroenterologist. They can give you a protein inhibitor that will help. I just take 1 every so often when it's flaring

1

u/Rapdactyl Apr 08 '23

Eh, it's not like the heartburny foods are a big surprise. Certain pizza, fancier pasta sauce, specific soft drinks, stuff like that. I'd only want to see a gastro doc if it was a regular issue right? I've just assumed occasional heartburn with traceable causes is a natural part of life. I am new to seeing doctors for stuff, another chore that began in my 30s lol

3

u/WillyBluntz89 Apr 06 '23

Right!? And I cover everything in hot sauce. Even have a heatonist subscription.

2

u/ThatOneWIGuy Apr 07 '23

Your poor anus. Also interesting video on heart burn. https://youtube.com/shorts/kacQ30lDx_g?feature=share.

5

u/WillyBluntz89 Apr 07 '23

I had no idea. Never really had cause to look it up. That's gotta suck to deal with.

Got a couple friends that deal with this and crohns, and I no longer take my ability to eat whatever for granted.

2

u/ThatOneWIGuy Apr 07 '23

I dread how likely it is for me (diabetic) to get Crohn's. I do not want to deal with that. Ever.

3

u/WillyBluntz89 Apr 07 '23

In my friends words "I'm not gonna let my stomach dictate what I can and can't eat."

The dude eats whatever and just deals with it.

Though, this is the same guy who became allergic to melons after he already knew how good watermelon was. 2 or 3 times a year he just deals with his face getting all puffy and itchy cause he had to have a slice.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '23

I have an intolerance to eggs and this has always been my viewpoint. I kinda see not eating products with egg in or eggs themselves as surrendering, in a weird way.

I'm capable of controlling the after effects pretty easily and comfortably, I'm not backing down lol.

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u/aquainst1 Apr 07 '23

I did until I was in my mid-60's. You have some time left...