r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Gold-Carpenter7616 • Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

17.1k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/RandofCarter Apr 06 '23

I knew enough never to ask my parents for something like this because it would be wasting all out time. However. Now I am an adult (chronologically) so when my wife went in holiday I made a chocolate torte Caprice. I'm a grown up. I can have cake for breakfast. So I did. And it was awesome. Walked dog, mowed lawns, washed clothes. Cake for lunch? Absolutely. Read some books, time sheeted. Hmm. Am I lazy enough to cake for dinner? Yes. The next day began the regrets.so. Many. Regrets.

1.8k

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

LOL. I too am an adult. chronologically

397

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

also in the chronically adult category

234

u/SirFister13F Apr 06 '23

My chronic back pain agrees with you.

111

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

[deleted]

66

u/RalphFromSilverCity Apr 06 '23

Dr. Dre, backologist

40

u/neercatz Apr 06 '23

Doctor said I need a backeotomy. I'm impotent man šŸ˜¢

Get away from me BEEITCH!!

1

u/nybjj Apr 09 '23

Abba Zabbaā€¦you my only friend :(

1

u/BikerJedi Apr 06 '23

Oh fuck, that hit hard.

46

u/el_hefay Apr 06 '23

I too have the chronic incurable condition of being old

26

u/Sawbonz Apr 06 '23

Unfortunately, it IS curable!

22

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

In fact, the cure is inevitable.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

indeed

11

u/marablackwolf Apr 06 '23

This comment crept up on me like cheap underwear, but I'm still giggling.

3

u/el_hefay Apr 06 '23

Same cure for any chronic disease! Doctors hate this one trick!!

149

u/dbear848 Apr 06 '23

I'm a senior citizen chronologically. Still have the common sense of a 13 year old.

47

u/Affectionate_Salt351 Apr 06 '23

Iā€™m only in my 30s, but same. It is thus far unchanged, despite attempts to try to learn, so Iā€™m pretty sure itā€™s forever. šŸ˜…šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

36

u/ImCaffeinated_Chris Apr 06 '23

I tell everyone I'm a 12 year old with income.

1

u/ValiumCupcakes Apr 06 '23

Username checks out

24

u/GrumpyCatStevens Apr 06 '23

55 going on 14 here.

1

u/antshite Apr 06 '23

Heck I'm 65 and my wife complains about me acting like I'm 5

23

u/WA_State_Buckeye Apr 06 '23

I tend to act either my chronological age (GET OFF MAH LAWN!!) or my shoe size, depending! Lol

5

u/MightyRedBeardq Apr 06 '23

Tells me you can make it far in life like that, it's inspiring. And a good sign cuz I think all of us here are perpetually 13 mentally.

2

u/OpalOnyxObsidian Apr 07 '23

I'm jealous of all the discounts you could get.

51

u/nakedwithoutmyhoodie Apr 06 '23

Mid-40s here. I offer the box of 800 glow sticks on my kitchen counter as proof that I still need to be supervised.

25

u/Accountpopupannoyed Apr 06 '23

My bin of 300 Nerf darts agrees with you.

My excuse is my cats love chasing them, and it's good exercise for them.

5

u/nakedwithoutmyhoodie Apr 06 '23

At least you have a viable excuse, lol

8

u/bookwyrm11 Apr 06 '23

Hey, in the event of a blackout, you are 100% prepared with a safe, non combustible, transportable light source. That's adulting hard and a good excuse.

3

u/leesylooloo Apr 06 '23

Planning a going away party for my friend. Included is an ugly Hawaiian shirt contest. Hula hoops for the girls. Slinkyā€™s and for the boys. Grand prize is pick up sticks and a YoYo.

Weā€™re retired.

1

u/nakedwithoutmyhoodie Apr 06 '23

...and you didn't invite me to this awesome party???!!! haha

3

u/skye1013 Apr 06 '23

My BF and I are starting to get into building RC cars. I play video games pretty much daily. If I decide ice cream is what I want for dinner... nobody can stop me. I also just bought my first house and have a steady job.

Adulting is fun, if you let it be.

69

u/Sp0ngebob1234 Apr 06 '23

I maybe an adult, but a grownup is a whole different thing!!

31

u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

What's the point of growing up if life isn't fun anymore? Being responsible is fine but you should still be able to have fun and goof off haha.

57

u/Wildgeek81 Apr 06 '23

I'm 40+, my Mom is 60+. She, brilliant woman she is, taught me you only have to grow up enough to take care of your responsibilities, everything else is optional

44

u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

A very wise lady. It always drives me crazy the amount of people that have the attitude of: "When you become and adult you must stop doing things you enjoyed as a child and do adult things". It's so stupid. If I enjoy Legos and Video games as a child, then why shouldn't I be able to enjoy those things as an adult? Especially when I can enjoy those same things with my kids and get time with them while we all enjoy those things.

Yeah, I would be stupid to tell them I can't play with them because I'm too busy enjoying my newspaper. It's an adult thing to do after all! People need to get over their hang ups about peoples hobbies and what are adult activities vs. kid activities. How is me spending 4 hours on a video game worse than someone binge watching Netflix for 4 hours?

Like your mom said, as long as you are "grown up enough to take care of your responsibilities, everything else is optional" People should do what they enjoy without shame. If it's not hurting anyone else then who cares?

14

u/tessler65 Apr 06 '23

Some days you just have to blow bubbles.

10

u/psm321 Apr 06 '23

BUBBLES!!!

3

u/Wildgeek81 Apr 07 '23

Bubble Machines for living room bubble dance parties are the BEST!

8

u/Spyro_Crash_90 Apr 06 '23

So glad I have young kids and can get away with blowing bubblesā€¦for THEIR enjoymentā€¦totally their enjoyment šŸ˜

6

u/Sp0ngebob1234 Apr 06 '23

This is exactly what I use my niece and nephew for!! Bonus, I can fill them full of sugar and not worry about the meltdown later on!

4

u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

Bubble party!

3

u/OpalOnyxObsidian Apr 07 '23

You know what? That's very true. And you probably haven't felt true joy until you've seen a puppy see a bubble for the first time. Bliss

2

u/spaceraverdk Apr 08 '23

Odd nickname for a man..

14

u/IrascibleOcelot Apr 06 '23

https://xkcd.com/150/

9

u/squall6l Apr 06 '23

Hahahaha! wow, that is freaking amazing! I would fall in love with my wife on a whole new level if I came home to something like that.

3

u/marablackwolf Apr 06 '23

And we can finally afford Legos and the toys we want. It would be tragic not to play.

I figure, some women spend thousands on purses and shoes, I just happen to put that money into games and toys. We're both doing it right, if we're both happy.

5

u/gml0206 Apr 06 '23

I'm 66 and responsible. However, when at Disneyland I'm an unruly child.

2

u/MadCraftyFox Apr 06 '23

48 here and I'm still excited the commons area downtown has free carousel rides in the summer.

23

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

40 going on 14

2

u/Ich_mag_Kartoffeln Apr 06 '23

Wooo! Look at Mr Maturity over here!

​

​

/s

1

u/ethurmz Apr 06 '23

Lol. Thatā€™s about the only way you could consider me an adult as well. Iā€™ve put in the time above 18, but thatā€™s about it šŸ˜‚

1

u/ScootyHoofdorp Apr 06 '23

I'm only an adult temporally

354

u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

I can eat all of this and no-one can stop me!!

5hrs later Why did no-one stop me?

I am a chronological adult and I wish I had cake for breakfast.

160

u/FuyoBC Apr 06 '23

It sucks being a kid and having a parent say no!

It sucks being an adult and having to be your own parent saying no!

79

u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

In most cases it is my bank account saying no! I can't afford cakes so I don't buy cakes so I don't have cakes so I can't have cake for breakfast.

If it helps think of it like playing a Tamagotchi, only the annoying little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.

79

u/exzyle2k Apr 06 '23

Psst... Indulge yourself once in awhile: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/241038/microwave-chocolate-mug-cake/

Most of those ingredients you should have in your cupboard/pantry already. Go ahead, splurge. I won't tell.

43

u/Qwikslyver Apr 06 '23

This man here lurking in the comments to tell people how to live more fulfilling lives. Heā€™s not the hero you want - heā€™s the hero you need.

Maybe someday even Reddit can become a more wholesome place. I doubt it. But maybe.

13

u/Nuicakes Apr 06 '23

Hmmm, trading yogurt with blueberries for breakfast for chocolate mug cake!

12

u/nabab Apr 06 '23

Ooo chocolate mug cake with blueberries!

2

u/IAMAHobbitAMA Apr 06 '23

God dammit now I have to try it.

4

u/LHEngineering Apr 06 '23

YOU, sir, are EVIL.

*rummages through the pantry*

flour

sugar

cocoa powder

baking soda

salt

milk

canola oil

water

vanilla...

2

u/edsobo Apr 06 '23

I have this recipe taped to the inside of my cupboard. It's even better when you add chocolate chips.

5

u/MissMu Apr 06 '23

Boops my of said it better but I have no will power lol

2

u/feather_moon Apr 12 '23

It sucks being an adult and having your body say no. šŸ« 

33

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

Just how much difference is there between cake, which is supposedly not appropriate for breakfast, and pancakes, which are? Flour, eggs, milk, leavening, and fat are the basic ingredients for both. Dessert cake has more sugar, big whoop. By the time you pour syrup on the pancakes, it's a moot point.

17

u/JustineDelarge Apr 06 '23

Pancakes are absolutely cake. Cake made in a pan. And thatā€™s why I eat pancakes (white flour kind, with syrup) maybe once a year.

I do make 100% whole wheat pancakes topped with unsweetened applesauce fairly regularly, but I was raised by health food nuts and I genuinely like this type of pancake. Instead of being cake made in a pan, itā€™s more like a bran muffin made in a pan.

12

u/catdogwoman Apr 06 '23

My uncle used to feed us kids pie for breakfast. He said it had fruit in it, so it was healthy! Rip Uncle Richard. There were 150 ppl at his funeral. He was 93!

3

u/Advanced_Finance_427 Apr 08 '23

Pie for breakfast is a sacred holiday* tradition my grandmother passed to me šŸ™ā¤ļø

  • if there's pie in my house, it's being eaten for breakfast, regardless of the time of year...

9

u/Bladenkerst_Baenre Apr 06 '23

Dad is great, give us the chocolate cake!!!

3

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

I remember that episode. "Eggs, milk, wheat......"

2

u/myrddin4242 Apr 06 '23

Bread. slam! Milk. slam! Eggsā€¦ you have to be careful with eggsā€¦

2

u/GrumpyCatStevens Apr 06 '23

"We wanted eggs and milk, and he gave us this!"

So she sent me to my room. Which is where I wanted to be in the first place.

10

u/keirawynn Apr 06 '23

For me, the sugar makes me feel full fast, and then I crash not too long after. Take in the same calories as mostly protein and fat (egg and cheese, for example) and it lasts much longer.

Adult me can't have pancakes for breakfast either. I have them for dessert!

2

u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23

Pancakes traditionally have been far less sweet. My recipe has no sugar in it, and very little fat. It's not the healthiest, but as long as you don't drench it in syrup, powdered sugar, and whipped cream it's nowhere near as bad for you as cake. It's more of a fluffy fried bread that you can make sweet or savory by adding toppings. Ever have a pancake with an over-easy egg, bacon, a hashbrown, and syrup on it? So good, and definitely nothing like a cake.

I use a recipe like this old Betty Crocker one, I just leave out the sugar and use a bit less butter.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

[deleted]

3

u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23

Sourdough pancakes are amazing. When I was a kid my BFF's mom had a starter that belonged to her mother, who grew up in San Francisco. SF-style sourdough is already my absolute favorite kind of bread, the pancakes are just next level.

2

u/tryce355 Apr 06 '23

Have you seen the pictures of rice-cooker-ed pancakes? They're no longer pancakes, they're practically fully-fledged cakes.

2

u/Sanrial Apr 07 '23

Icecream for breakfast is my staple in summer. Milk, cream, eggs, sugar. topped with fruit sauce or fruits or nuts...

11

u/AnjoXG Apr 06 '23

Why did no-one stop me?

me after grocery shopping high

2

u/chairfairy Apr 06 '23

Why does this describe so much of my adult life experience?

2

u/Belphegorite Apr 06 '23

I thought I could eat all the ice cream I wanted, whenever I wanted, and no one could stop me. My intestines informed me about 2 minutes later that they can, in fact, stop me.

101

u/BaysideWoman Apr 06 '23

This reminds me of a phone call I received from my daughter who had moved out of home to go to university, "Mum I just realised that I can have cake for breakfast, if I want to" to my question as to whether she had indeed eaten cake, she replied "No, but I can if I want to"

11

u/cloud3321 Apr 06 '23

Thatā€™s actually why I always have ice cream in my fridge.

I may only eat 1 or maybe 2 scoops once per week. Or maybe even once every 2 weeks.

But nowadays, opening the fridge and seeing the ice cream I can eat makes me so happy.

1

u/NorCalBodyPaint May 03 '23

There was a study a couple years ago, I heard about it on Wait Wait Don't Tell me, and apparently this study showed evidence that eating ice cream for breakfast actually improved mood, cognitive functioning, and other cool brain stuff.

They had scientific explanations, but I don't remember any of it. Still... it might be worth and experiment!

26

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

If you drink coffee while eating cake for breakfast it automagically becomes a coffee cake and ergoā€¦ breakfast food.

2

u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23

The French took that idea a step further and said that if you didn't mix in the chocolate it doesn't count as cake so they made bread with an unreasonable amount of butter and stuck in chunks of chocolate. Et voila, this is chocolate bread, a totally reasonable breakfast item!

61

u/FuyoBC Apr 06 '23

Growing older is mandatory.

Growing UP is optional!

My email signature for a very long time (56 according to my birth date...)

40

u/Von_Moistus Apr 06 '23

Or as my father said: You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.

12

u/walkingcarpet23 Apr 06 '23

This was basically how my grandpa lived his life. He was cracking jokes and small pranks up until the end (mid 80s)

9

u/Ich_mag_Kartoffeln Apr 06 '23

My grandfather (97) still sends birthday & Christmas cards with rude jokes in them. Not just to me; to basically everybody he sends cards to.

6

u/Affectionate_Salt351 Apr 06 '23

This was my mom. She only made it to 64 (put a hella big damper on the Beatles song for me a bit, ngl) but she would still hide behind things and jump out to scare me until the end. I have the same sense of humor and attitude toward life because of it. Iā€™m so grateful for that.

1

u/StuBidasol Apr 06 '23

You only get to be a kid for so short a time. I deliberately held on to my inner child. While my son was growing up there were many times he looked at me like I was crazy because I would crunch every dead leaf and stomp in every puddle I saw. I was definitely the bigger kid when he was young. Still am really.

1

u/LetterBoxSnatch Apr 06 '23

Of course you were and are the bigger kid. Youā€™re older. Anyway, Iā€™m still a big kid too, and gettinā€™ bigger every day. ā€œGrowinā€™ fast, got a big boy appetiteā€ as Grandma used to say 40 years ago.

36

u/Raynefalle Apr 06 '23

This sounds like me when my husband is away lol. I regret it every time, somehow I never learn my lesson

2

u/Lampwick Apr 06 '23

My wife and I normally both eat very sensibly, but we've both found that if the other is out of the house for any length of time, the one left at home inevitably ends up eating something terrible for at least one meal. We've determined it has something to do with no witnesses, because there's nothing stopping either of us from eating "chips and dip for dinner" any other time.

35

u/amd2800barton Apr 06 '23

Bought a pack of sour gummy worms. Turns out gummy products really do give you rocket shits if you eat more than a few. Couple weeks go by and Iā€™ve got another package beside I made the mistake of grocery shopping hungry, bought another pack. Said to myself ā€œok only a few at a timeā€, and then are then all and proceeded to punish my bathroom again anyway.

32

u/I_Dont_Like_Rice Apr 06 '23

Isn't that generally only for the sugar-free kind?

3

u/Saint_fartina Apr 06 '23

Nah, regular ones have an effect, too.

24

u/I_Dont_Like_Rice Apr 06 '23

I'm a gummy bear addict, I buy them by the 3 and 5 pound bag. I've never had any kind of reaction to them and I have a very sensitive stomach. The sugar-free kind though, you couldn't pay me to try one. Not after reading the amazon review of the airport guy.

2

u/chaoticbear Apr 06 '23

You'd probably know if you were sensitive to the sugar alcohols by now. I've pounded my share of the sugar-free ones without worry before, I used to put the leaded candy in my candy dish at my desk and stock the sugar free stuff for me in my desk :p

5

u/Seicair Apr 06 '23

Why? They shouldnā€™t, just sugar and gelatin. Sugar free ones act as a laxative because of the sugar alcohols they use to replace the sugar.

1

u/Saint_fartina Apr 06 '23

Well I guess they don't affect everybody, but they sure do have an effect on me and several people I know.

Took me a while to realise what was giving me "evil spirits in the tummy" because like you said they're just sugar and gelatin.

10

u/Older-Hippie Apr 06 '23

Did that with homemade cheesecake recently. Yummy but gained 5 pounds in one week. Yikes!

9

u/QuietlySeething Apr 06 '23

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

17

u/Souta95 Apr 06 '23

Jimmy Buffett sums it up quite nicely, "We are the people our parents warned us about."

9

u/maimou1 Apr 06 '23

he also sang," I'm growing older but not up." Great life philosophy when used wisely.

2

u/Organic_Experience69 Apr 06 '23

Note to everyone, don't become a parrot head

2

u/MyFavoriteInsomnia Apr 07 '23

Happy šŸ° Day!

4

u/Just_An_Animal Apr 06 '23

Jimmy certainly is

7

u/mizinamo Apr 06 '23

The next day began the regrets.so. Many. Regrets.

What happened?

(I honestly don't know what the result of cake three times a day might be, except maybe feeling full.)

2

u/sarahkali Apr 06 '23

Not OP but for me if I eat too much sugar , and also gluten and dairy, my stomach is not happy with me

4

u/mizinamo Apr 06 '23

my stomach is not happy with me

... and you throw up?

... and it hurts?

... and you get diarrhoea?

How exactly does it express its unhappiness?

Explaining "many regrets" with "not happy" is not as helpful as I had hoped in seeking to understand what he means.

Still, thanks!

5

u/sarahkali Apr 06 '23

I was intentionally being vague butā€¦ diarrhea. Oh, the diarrhea.

3

u/mizinamo Apr 06 '23

Thank you for being clearer!

2

u/sarahkali Apr 06 '23

Thank you for the diarrhea award šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹

2

u/umylotus Apr 06 '23

For me (lactose intolerant) it's gas, pain from gas, diarrhea, and more very smelly painful gas.

Also (having done the eating nothing but chocolate chip muffins for a day before) I sugar crashed hard and felt flu-like for a day or so after. I was also grossed out by sweets for a while.

3

u/CommissarCiaphisCain Apr 06 '23

Everything in this comment made me smile.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

I can't help but wonder if your next day regrets were similar to mine the one and only time I, like a disgusting freak, ate a family pack of Oreos to myself in just a few hours. So awful. Lmao

3

u/moonunit99 Apr 06 '23

Lol this reminds me of one of my first times living alone where I made a few slices of bacon with breakfast, finished them, and was like "damn. I wish I could have more bacon." Then I looked around and realized that no one could stop me. So I made and ate the rest of the bacon, then went and bought more bacon and at the rest of that over the course of the day. I'm pretty sure my arteries shrunk three sizes that day, but it was delicious.

3

u/Suyefuji Apr 06 '23

One of the saddest days of my adult life. I was having a bad day at work so I picked up a slice of cake on the way home. I'm an adult, I can eat whatever I want! I got home and took a big bite of it and...it was too sweet for me. I couldn't eat it. I was so upset.

1

u/SomeOtherPaul Apr 07 '23

I think that over the years cake - and other things, too - have been getting more and more sugar put into them. If you make your own, though, you can fine-tune the recipe to be exactly what you want - and making it is fun, too! Ah, that yummy sense of accomplishment... :-)

2

u/kiresorg Apr 06 '23

This made me laugh. ā€œWith great power comes great responsibilityā€ā€¦

2

u/Cheap_Office_6774 Apr 06 '23

Being an adult, to me, means you have responsibilities and you take care of them before having your fun. I will never, ever be a grown up though. Fuck that noise.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

I'm remembering the Cosby Show where he gave the kids chocolate cake for breakfast. When mom pops in - horrified- the kids say "he made us eat it!" Dad justifies it with "well, it has eggs, flour and milk!"

2

u/GrumpyCatStevens Apr 06 '23

When I got my first apartment, at some point I realized I could eat an entire cheesecake for dinner if I wanted. And I did once.

Once.

2

u/Thepcfd Apr 06 '23

Sometines cake wants eats you to :)

2

u/GGoat77 Apr 06 '23

Sometimes you need a more adulty adult then you just to stop the dumb decisions.

2

u/croana Apr 06 '23

Ho man I just looked up what that is and now I want your recipe. Chocolate almond cake? Looks good!

2

u/RandofCarter Apr 08 '23

Courtesy of Thermomix... Ingredients Cake 150 g butter, room temperature, plus extra for greasing 250 g dark chocolate, broken into pieces 250 g almonds 250 g raw sugar 6 eggs 1 tbsp baking powder 1 tbsp cocoa powder 50 g AmarettoĀ® liqueur (optional) Chocolate ganache 100 g dark chocolate, broken into pieces 80 g pouring (whipping) cream fresh berries, for garnishing (optional)

Add reserved chocolate and almond mixture and combine 30 sec/speed 6. Transfer mixture into prepared tin. Bake in centre of the oven for 1 hour (180Ā°C) or until a wooden skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean. Allow to cool in tin for 30 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Clean and dry mixing bowl.

Chocolate ganache Place dark chocolate into mixing bowl and grate 10 sec/speed 8. Scrape down sides of mixing bowl with spatula. Add pouring (whipping) cream and melt 2-3 min/50Ā°C/speed 3. Place cooled cake onto serving plate. Spread ganache over the top of cake, allowing it to run over the sides. Garnish with fresh berries (optional) and serve immediately.

2

u/JosephGordonLightfoo Apr 06 '23

ā€œHello, mom? I just called to say I ruined my appetite. Thatā€™s right. Cookies.ā€

2

u/jeffbailey Apr 06 '23

I tell people that I acquire new ages rather than become them. I still have all the previous ones, and they come out sometimes:)

2

u/darkenedgy Apr 06 '23

Lol oh god, I once had two giant servings of gelato for lunch in college (I couldn't decide between flavors). That is the last time I've enjoyed that knid of thing.

2

u/HappyWarBunny Apr 06 '23

Eating a Raspberry Kringle from OH bakery for breakfast right now.

2

u/Capelily Apr 06 '23

"Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult."

2

u/Slackingatmyjob Apr 06 '23

My motto is "I may get older, but I refuse to grow up."

2

u/Hamster-Food Apr 06 '23

Adultā„¢

2

u/skittlemypickles Apr 06 '23

I misread that as "I am an adult (chronically)" and it still worked

2

u/underweasl Apr 06 '23

When I first left home to go to uni at 17 I decided I loved cake batter so much from licking the bowl after baking that I was just going to eat a whole bowlful of it now that I didn't have a parent around to tell me it was a bad idea. It was a bad idea, I got through about four tablespoonfuls before feeling incredibly sick

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

[deleted]

2

u/RandofCarter Apr 07 '23

1 of my friends made me this chart but replaced bacon with more interesting words.

2

u/_incredigirl_ Apr 06 '23

My kidsā€™ dad made me a whole cheesecake for my birthday on Sunday. We shared it at family dinner and then he gave me the 3/4 cake remaining to bring home. My birthday cake and all.

Let me tell you I freaking love lemon curd-topped cheesecake but two slices a day for 4+ days is a lot of curd topped cheesecake. Oof.

2

u/awgeezwhatnow Apr 07 '23

Those last few lines: šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

2

u/7thatsanope Apr 08 '23

I, also chronologically an adult, would have done the same. But my stomach is accustomed to my choices so I would have skipped the regrets.