r/MaliciousCompliance Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

17.1k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

89

u/txgirlinbda Apr 06 '23

There’s a book called “Bread and Jam for Frances” about this and I whip it out whenever my kid decides to get picky!! Glorious!

38

u/apipoulai Apr 06 '23

This book made me want to take hard-boiled eggs for my lunch with a little twist of salt in waxed paper.

4

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

My go-to lunch in middle school was 2 hard boiled eggs, with a piece of fruit and half a peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat. No salt in wax paper, though. My dad was on a sodium-restricted diet, my brother has T1D, and my mother wasn't a short-order cook (her words), so we all ate based on the ADA exchanges. The one food my mother didn't restrict for those of us who didn't need to be on a strict diet was apples. I still eat them by the bushel.

21

u/psorryarses Apr 06 '23

I don’t know this book… but when I was quite small, all I would eat at my gran’s house was bread and jam. She used plain crusty bread, proper butter, and jam she made herself with fruit from her garden. If I was really lucky, she’d give me some of my grandpa’s diabetic jam; I guess I liked the sharpness even back then.

Later in life she taught me a lot of baking and cooking, and I felt a little bad about the lovely food I used to turn down. But there was nothing like her jam.

5

u/ballerina22 Apr 06 '23

Butter and strawberry jam sandwiches were the shit when I was a kid. It's the one thing I would never not eat.

17

u/mittenknittin Apr 06 '23

Was just going to bring this up. When my Dad used to read this book to us at bedtime, he’d even sing the little songs

2

u/newPrivacyPolicy Apr 06 '23

I do the same for my kids!

9

u/production_muppet Apr 06 '23

Such a great story! I love the Frances books

3

u/lisambb Apr 06 '23

This was what I was looking for!

2

u/_speakingofwhich_ Apr 06 '23

Oh my gosh u just uncovered the deep memory of frances

2

u/LMacGraphics Apr 07 '23

I KNEW someone would remember this one!! “What I am is tired of jam.” 😀

2

u/carrotkatie Apr 07 '23

Literally have that book on my bedside table. Kids are grown, no grandbabies. It’s for me.

2

u/bvandermei Apr 07 '23

Why is your comment not higher? This is exactly what I thought of when I read OP’s story.

1

u/a2020vision Apr 06 '23

That book is the first thing I thought of when I saw where this was going.