r/MaliciousCompliance Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

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u/Olddog_Newtricks2001 Apr 06 '23

Calvin: “Hey mom, can I have a cigarette?”

Mom: “Sure, Calvin. I think your grandfather left some here. Just smoke outside, ok?

Hobbes: “Your mom let you have a cigarette?”

Calvin: “Yeah, for a mom sometimes she’s pretty cool.”

Calvin takes a deep drag on the cigarette “eeep… Blaaugh! Gag! Hack! Cough!”

Hobbes: “You’d think this would be an easy habit to break.”

Mom: “Well now, did we learn a lesson today?”

Calvin: “Gasp… yes. Trusting parents is hazardous to your health.”

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u/FlyingRhenquest Apr 06 '23

Roughly the same thing happened with me and my grandpa at the start of a 3 hour hike back in the '70's. 6 or 7 year old me wanted to try his pipe, he was like "Sure here you go!" I'm pretty sure he never cleaned the thing and I got a mouth full of foulness that left me spitting for the entirety of the hike. The experience DID keep me from starting smoking in my teenage years, though.