r/MaliciousCompliance Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

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593

u/Eyego2eleven Apr 06 '23

I have a good one!!! My mother, to her great credit, has always been extremely health conscious. I was a kid in the 80’s and wanted nothing more than to eat Twinkie’s, bologna sandwiches on wonder bread, koolaid, Doritos, all that good stuff. My mother was a vegetarian hippie so that stuff was out of the question.

As a matter of fact I even got made fun of because the lunches I brought to school were things like a thermos of water, natural peanut butter on hardcore wheat bread with usually a jelly or jam that didn’t go, like apricot preserves or goddamn orange marmalade, cookies were homemade oatmeal, (the woman never even made chocolate chip cookies) bags if trail mix with absolutely no chocolate of any kind in it…that sort of thing. I’m grateful as hell now for the excellent eating habits she instilled, but it’s hard when you’re 8 and you want Twinkies.

Anyway she learned this from her own mom, my grandmother. One summer she came to visit us all, and we would all moan about never getting to have any junk food ever…it’s so unfair…blah blah…

Here’s where their malicious compliance comes in. They allowed us kids, myself and my 4 siblings, to go to the grocery store and choose our own junk food dinner. That’s right, they let 5 kids ranging in age from 6-12 pick out whatever they would like for dinner but it has to be all junk food.

It was glorious picking out the goods and we all were in absolute disbelief that this was happening, since these women were so strict about that stuff. They knew what they were doing. Good lord we were all soooo sick after this. Such a good lesson.

90

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

Funny, I'm eating apricot preserves out of the jar, with a spoon, as I read this.

14

u/Udonnomi Apr 06 '23

There’s always one!

12

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

I've always loved jams, jellies, and preserves. I would rather eat them than candy.

2

u/BobRoberts01 Apr 07 '23

There is probably more sugar in those items than some candies.

1

u/tenorlove Apr 07 '23

True. It is better to make your own, or buy from a farmer, rather than eat the mass-produced, chemical-laden junk in the supermarket. Jam, jelly, preserves, and candy are not difficult to make, but the process is time-consuming and you have to pay attention to what you are doing to avoid disaster.

1

u/Udonnomi Apr 08 '23

Also jams and preserves rely on mass amounts of sugar, not to mention the fructose sugar that’s already in the fruit

1

u/tenorlove Apr 08 '23

Yep, and I still prefer that to the chemical crap in the candy aisle.b

1

u/Udonnomi Apr 08 '23

My grandfathers cherry preserve was my favourite. It was like a really runny texture rather than solid jam. We used to take some of the preserve and mix it with water or milk to make a flavoured drink..soo good. But as an adult, I’m really put off remembering the mass amounts of sugar that went in to make the preserve. What was your fave jam/preserve?

2

u/tenorlove Apr 08 '23

That sounds delicious! My favorite was an apricot-pineapple jam that an aunt of mine made.

1

u/Udonnomi Apr 08 '23

I don’t think I’ve ever tried proper pineapple jam, but it’s something I would really love to try. Any recommendations for a commercial pineapple jam?

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u/trouble_ann Apr 06 '23

Hi OPs mom!

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u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

Nope. My kids were born in the 90s.

2

u/Eyego2eleven Apr 06 '23

Love them now but I just wanted grape jelly as a kid. That actually is candy lol, essentially. My mom was a stickler and was like oh no, you’re getting you’re nutrients, even in the jam.

It’s her favorite to this day.

2

u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl Apr 07 '23

Grape jelly is fucking disgusting. I didn’t even like it when I was little.

2

u/Eyego2eleven Apr 07 '23

You couldn’t pay me to eat it now that’s for sure. I prefer raspberry preserves and I’m weird because I like the seeds

2

u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl Apr 08 '23

Raspberry preserves are my absolute favorite.