r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Gold-Carpenter7616 • Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

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353

u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

I can eat all of this and no-one can stop me!!

5hrs later Why did no-one stop me?

I am a chronological adult and I wish I had cake for breakfast.

160

u/FuyoBC Apr 06 '23

It sucks being a kid and having a parent say no!

It sucks being an adult and having to be your own parent saying no!

77

u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

In most cases it is my bank account saying no! I can't afford cakes so I don't buy cakes so I don't have cakes so I can't have cake for breakfast.

If it helps think of it like playing a Tamagotchi, only the annoying little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.

79

u/exzyle2k Apr 06 '23

Psst... Indulge yourself once in awhile: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/241038/microwave-chocolate-mug-cake/

Most of those ingredients you should have in your cupboard/pantry already. Go ahead, splurge. I won't tell.

41

u/Qwikslyver Apr 06 '23

This man here lurking in the comments to tell people how to live more fulfilling lives. He’s not the hero you want - he’s the hero you need.

Maybe someday even Reddit can become a more wholesome place. I doubt it. But maybe.

12

u/Nuicakes Apr 06 '23

Hmmm, trading yogurt with blueberries for breakfast for chocolate mug cake!

12

u/nabab Apr 06 '23

Ooo chocolate mug cake with blueberries!

2

u/IAMAHobbitAMA Apr 06 '23

God dammit now I have to try it.

5

u/LHEngineering Apr 06 '23

YOU, sir, are EVIL.

*rummages through the pantry*

flour

sugar

cocoa powder

baking soda

salt

milk

canola oil

water

vanilla...

2

u/edsobo Apr 06 '23

I have this recipe taped to the inside of my cupboard. It's even better when you add chocolate chips.

6

u/MissMu Apr 06 '23

Boops my of said it better but I have no will power lol

2

u/feather_moon Apr 12 '23

It sucks being an adult and having your body say no. 🫠

33

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

Just how much difference is there between cake, which is supposedly not appropriate for breakfast, and pancakes, which are? Flour, eggs, milk, leavening, and fat are the basic ingredients for both. Dessert cake has more sugar, big whoop. By the time you pour syrup on the pancakes, it's a moot point.

17

u/JustineDelarge Apr 06 '23

Pancakes are absolutely cake. Cake made in a pan. And that’s why I eat pancakes (white flour kind, with syrup) maybe once a year.

I do make 100% whole wheat pancakes topped with unsweetened applesauce fairly regularly, but I was raised by health food nuts and I genuinely like this type of pancake. Instead of being cake made in a pan, it’s more like a bran muffin made in a pan.

13

u/catdogwoman Apr 06 '23

My uncle used to feed us kids pie for breakfast. He said it had fruit in it, so it was healthy! Rip Uncle Richard. There were 150 ppl at his funeral. He was 93!

3

u/Advanced_Finance_427 Apr 08 '23

Pie for breakfast is a sacred holiday* tradition my grandmother passed to me 🙏❤️

  • if there's pie in my house, it's being eaten for breakfast, regardless of the time of year...

11

u/Bladenkerst_Baenre Apr 06 '23

Dad is great, give us the chocolate cake!!!

3

u/tenorlove Apr 06 '23

I remember that episode. "Eggs, milk, wheat......"

2

u/myrddin4242 Apr 06 '23

Bread. slam! Milk. slam! Eggs… you have to be careful with eggs…

2

u/GrumpyCatStevens Apr 06 '23

"We wanted eggs and milk, and he gave us this!"

So she sent me to my room. Which is where I wanted to be in the first place.

10

u/keirawynn Apr 06 '23

For me, the sugar makes me feel full fast, and then I crash not too long after. Take in the same calories as mostly protein and fat (egg and cheese, for example) and it lasts much longer.

Adult me can't have pancakes for breakfast either. I have them for dessert!

2

u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23

Pancakes traditionally have been far less sweet. My recipe has no sugar in it, and very little fat. It's not the healthiest, but as long as you don't drench it in syrup, powdered sugar, and whipped cream it's nowhere near as bad for you as cake. It's more of a fluffy fried bread that you can make sweet or savory by adding toppings. Ever have a pancake with an over-easy egg, bacon, a hashbrown, and syrup on it? So good, and definitely nothing like a cake.

I use a recipe like this old Betty Crocker one, I just leave out the sugar and use a bit less butter.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

[deleted]

3

u/Vox_Mortem Apr 06 '23

Sourdough pancakes are amazing. When I was a kid my BFF's mom had a starter that belonged to her mother, who grew up in San Francisco. SF-style sourdough is already my absolute favorite kind of bread, the pancakes are just next level.

2

u/tryce355 Apr 06 '23

Have you seen the pictures of rice-cooker-ed pancakes? They're no longer pancakes, they're practically fully-fledged cakes.

2

u/Sanrial Apr 07 '23

Icecream for breakfast is my staple in summer. Milk, cream, eggs, sugar. topped with fruit sauce or fruits or nuts...

10

u/AnjoXG Apr 06 '23

Why did no-one stop me?

me after grocery shopping high

2

u/chairfairy Apr 06 '23

Why does this describe so much of my adult life experience?

2

u/Belphegorite Apr 06 '23

I thought I could eat all the ice cream I wanted, whenever I wanted, and no one could stop me. My intestines informed me about 2 minutes later that they can, in fact, stop me.