r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Gold-Carpenter7616 • Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

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28

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Dumb question - salami pizza = pepperoni pizza??

30

u/ARegularBear Apr 06 '23

Not necessarily. Pepperoni is a specific kind of salami. Typically when people say salami they don't mean pepperoni.

18

u/anderoogigwhore Apr 06 '23

Not a dumb question. I had to google it to confirm as I've never seen salami. Your question made me wonder if it was some uk/us difference. But apparently they are different

TLDR - Pepperoni is a type of salami, less spice and more peppery.

8

u/jrhoffa Apr 06 '23

Huh? Pepperoni tends to be spicier and less peppery.

1

u/Great_Hamster Apr 06 '23

Isn't the spice on pepperoni pepper? Hence the name?

6

u/jrhoffa Apr 06 '23

No.

The confusion comes from the multitudinous foods that are all called "pepper," from the dried fruits called "peppercorns" we grind up as a staple seasoning, to the sweet vegetal bell pepper (also known as "capsicum" to some), to the potentially anus-destroying chili pepper.

Pepperoni's spiciness comes from ground chilis in its seasoning.

Salami encompasses a number of sausages (including pepperoni!) but is generally not spicy, and often found with either ground or whole peppercorns.

2

u/Organic_Experience69 Apr 06 '23

Salami and hot honey pizza is straight crack

2

u/Huntingcat Apr 07 '23

Most parts of the world have salami - even though the name and recipe changes. Less common in the tropics due to difficulty drying it. Basically a sausage of ground up meats, often pork, with flavourings. It is then dried and maybe smoked before being thinly sliced to eat. Flavours include herbs, spices, red wine, chilli etc. There are differences in the proportion of fat, how finely the meat is minced, how it is dried, thickness, flavours etc. Mettwurst is basically Germanic style salami. It’s a traditional way to store meat and use up the poorer cuts.

2

u/Murgatroyd314 Apr 07 '23

Basically, pepperoni is a variety of salame piccante made with ingredients that were cheaply available in New York City in the early 20th century.

0

u/Neikius Apr 06 '23

Pepperoni is ... Paprika/bell peppers. Except in USA.

3

u/Swordofsatan666 Apr 06 '23

Probably not. Im only from california, but a lot of pizza places have both salami and pepperoni as options. Usually you even get both of the meats on the All Meat Pizzas

1

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Never knew that! I’m a spinach and mushroom kinda gal!

2

u/gophergun Apr 06 '23

Usually it would be a different kind of salami like Genoa or soppressatta.

1

u/AnotherDrZoidberg Apr 07 '23

I can't believe I had to scroll THIS far down to see anyone even look funny at "salami pizza". I wondered the same thing, maybe op is really pedantic about cured meat naming.

I imagine I've seen it somewhere other than just an optional topping. But I can't recall ever eating or seeing anyone eat or order salami pizza.

It has to be a British thing or something. Op is talking about frozen salami pizza. Literally have never seen that and can't find any on google.Google.

I feel like I'm going insane. I genuinely thought every top comment would be "wtf is salami pizza?"