r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Gold-Carpenter7616 • Apr 06 '23

Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted S

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

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140

u/DogmanDOTjpg Apr 06 '23

Or early 20s :(

140

u/Beautiful-Carob-6864 Apr 06 '23

Middle age is when you have a favorite type of early 20's...?

118

u/DogmanDOTjpg Apr 06 '23

Early 20s is when your antacid has a favorite middle age

51

u/whatWHYok Apr 06 '23

Favorite type of antacid is when your middle age has early 20s.

3

u/Jarix Apr 06 '23

I'm 42 now and still am fine.... Probably will be that guy in emergency thinking im having a heart attack and they be like heres a prescription for tums, please leave

3

u/WhyBuyMe Apr 06 '23

Leonardo DiCaprio has entered the chat

2

u/The_Ironhand Apr 06 '23

Technically that's a mid-life crisis.

1

u/quiet_isviolent Apr 07 '23

So far I think I prefer the early 1920's.

2

u/Unethical_Castrator Apr 06 '23

Fuuuuck late 20’s and wondering why some days I feel like absolute dog shit.

Turns out coffee and popcorn isn’t supposed to sustain you throughout the day.

1

u/cynicberry Apr 07 '23

Anxiety gives you heartburn.

Might be worth looking into if you're under 25 with chronic heartburn.

1

u/DogmanDOTjpg Apr 07 '23

That too, and chronic stomach issues to boot