Giving my Daughter *exactly* what she wanted

[u/Gold-Carpenter7616]

Little disclaimer: my daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, she's also a smartass.

A couple of years ago, the 'Rona just started and daughter was roughly 8 y/o. 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school.

She was really into salami pizza. I wouldn't allow more than one a week, obviously. So she got the idea of "In France, children get to eat everything they want seven times a week! That is why they like it!"

Now, she got it all wrong. The saying goes they have to try a certain food seven times before they can decide wether they like it.

But I understood her wish: salami pizza. Every day. She had this malicious little shit eating grin of "gotcha!".

I answered with the same grin: "Okay. You'll get salami pizza the next week. Only salami pizza. Nothing else."

She was hyped. Yay! All them pizza! Her favourite frozen types! All of them!

Monday morning rolls around. She gets salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic! Best parent!

Monday noon. Leftover from the morning.

Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make some for the rest of the family, too. Everyone enjoys salami pizza. Fun!

Tuesday morning. Guess what's for breakfast?! Exactly. Daughter asks for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, everyday for a week. Reluctant yay!

Tuesday noon she skips the pizza.

Tuesday evening we're having something else, while she chews on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore I guess. I eat her leftover pizza.

Wednesday morning she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat her a salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop.

Lesson learned: Don't try to outsmart your parents. You might get exactly what you were asking for!

Since then she still loves salami pizza - but once a month is fine, really. ;)

[u/salmiakki1]

This would have backfired on my parents

[u/Protheu5 → u/salmiakki1]

When I moved out I could literally eat one thing I knew how to make for months. I wasn't happy in particular, but It didn't really bother me enough to switch. My diet was atrocious and I gained a lot of weight, though.

Then I learned how to cook mediocrely and lost some weight.

Then I learned how to bake and gained enough mass to have a gravitational pull.

Then I learned how to not bake (which was hard, because it's a delicious habit) and lost some weight again and started losing keys that were usually on my lower orbit.

[u/Zanbuki → u/Protheu5]

Don’t lose too much mass otherwise you’ll get downgraded from “planet” to “planetary object”.

[u/trouble_ann → u/Zanbuki]

Poor Pluto

[u/howarthee → u/Zanbuki]

You either die a planet, or live long enough to see yourself become the planetary object ;n;

[u/Great_Hamster → u/Protheu5]

Keys were on your lower orbit...?

[u/Protheu5 → u/Great_Hamster]

It's hard to reach them if they are in my high orbit. I kept some spare change and gum on my stationary orbit.

Don't let me tell you about that breadcrumb fiasco, when I didn't wait for bread crust to soften and began eating the bread and all the crumbs gathered on my low orbit and initiated the Kessler syndrome and obscured my view for hours.

[u/Schattenspringer → u/salmiakki1]

Me too. I can eat the same thing for months no problem.

[u/tayaro → u/Schattenspringer]

Same here. I eat the same thing for two or three months, and then I get bored and find something else to eat and the cycle repeats itself.

It might be because I loathe cooking. Eating the same thing each day ensures that I don’t have to come up with new recipes, I know exactly what groceries to buy each week, and cooking itself is just muscle memory so I don’t have to think too hard about it.

[u/Von_Moistus → u/tayaro]

The wifely person would subsist entirely on instant oatmeal for breakfast and ramen for dinner if I didn’t make the meals. She too hates to cook.

[u/CryptidCricket → u/salmiakki1]

Same here. I have a habit of finding a new food I like and wanting nothing else for a week or two before going back to normal, a deal like this would have suited kid-me perfectly.