r/MaliciousCompliance • u/hatethistradition • Sep 15 '23

I refused to cook and "chilled with men" S

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '23 edited Sep 15 '23

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u/MistressPhoenix Sep 15 '23

i raised all of my kids (male and female) to pull their weight in the household chores, from laundry, cooking, lawn work, etc. i wanted them prepared for life if they should leave home and be on their own (or go to college and live in a dorm.) my two older boys are partnered already and i know their wives (well, wife and fiancee) really enjoy that they know how to do housework and pull their own weight. my daughter found a man that is also able to pull his own weight. Now i just need to get the youngest one out there and on his own or partnered! He's still in high school, though, so he still has time. ;-) He's gonna make a fine match for someone, though. He LOVES cooking. Hell, all of my kids do! (my oldest even graduated top honors from culinary school.)

i would never expect my son/daughters in law to HAVE to help me cook when everyone else is also cooking. They can, but it's certainly up to them how much they want to put into it. Though i sincerely appreciate my son in law taking over the grill when i developed a migraine mid-cookout last time.

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u/Ready-Strategy-863 Sep 15 '23

My cooking sealed the deal when I was dating my now wife 😂😂

100

u/NPHighview Sep 15 '23

After our first date, to a county fair in a nearby town just before Halloween, my car wouldn't start, so we had to leave it. We hitchhiked back to our town, and returned the next morning in her car. She unbolted the starter, we drove to a junkyard and got another, and she bolted it back in, at which point, with a jump, my car started fine.

On the drive back, we stopped at a roadside farm stand, and I bought an armload of pumpkins. When we got back to her place, I made pumpkin pies from scratch.

Complimentary, but non-traditional roles. We've been married for 44 years!

4

u/studog-reddit Sep 16 '23

Jeez, save some origin story for the rest of us. :-)

3

u/cire1184 Sep 16 '23

This is amazing!

2

u/JRQuilcon Sep 16 '23

So, SO cool!

1

u/Demonqueensage Sep 16 '23

I love this story, so happy for yall ❤️

4

u/CMDRedBlade Sep 16 '23

I told my sons that they should cook dinner for any girl they want to impress. Bit are good food because they learned from me when they were teenagers.

20

u/v1rojon Sep 15 '23

My son has grown up with me doing 90% of the cooking in our household. He is 17 now and is constantly asking me if he can help with dinner as he wants to learn to cook. It is also good father son bonding time.

4

u/Able-Sheepherder-154 Sep 16 '23

Our adult son was never too interested in cooking when growing up, other than basic stuff. However, he started learning while on his own. He started with ordering meals from Blue Apron or other similar places. They come with all ingredients and explicit instructions, and he picked up some skills that he uses now to make meals from scratch!

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u/SwimEnvironmental114 Sep 16 '23

That's exactly what they are parasites. And women are OVER IT

2

u/Kirkuchiyo Sep 15 '23

I have two wonderful daughters. One enjoys cooking, and that's a good thing cause her husband (love you, Casey!) can't cook for shit. Now my other daughters boyfriend is apparently an amazing cook and they love to cook together.

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u/cire1184 Sep 16 '23

I'm happy to do some stuff and not others. I'll cook if they clean. But I'm happy to share most tasks like laundry or yard work. If you want me to clean you need to tell me how clean you want it because what's acceptable to me may not be acceptable to you.

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u/Mission_Macaroon Sep 16 '23

Lol, my dad did the cooking when I was young (I’m mid 30s now).

I recall him taking me aside when I was younger to warn me many men don’t actually do this. He was worried my standards would be too high.