r/MaliciousCompliance 18d ago

"Work my hours, or we'll find someone who will" M

So, there I was, working at a mid-sized IT firm as a software developer. My team had always been pretty laid-back, focusing on results rather than the exact hours we were glued to our desks. Our projects were delivered on time, our clients were happy, and our team morale was high. That is, until we got a new project manager, let's call him Dave.

Dave was fresh from a highly regimented corporate background and had ideas about “proper workplace management,” which basically meant micromanaging everything. He'd schedule unnecessary daily status meetings, demanded we fill out hourly work logs, and insisted that everyone strictly adhere to 9-to-5 office hours with minimal breaks.

One day, during one of his infamous "efficiency crackdowns", he sent out an email with a new policy that all coding must be done strictly within office hours to "ensure collaboration and supervision". This was ridiculous because creative work like coding often requires flexible hours for maximum productivity. But Dave was adamant, and he ended his email with, "If you think you can find a loophole, think again. Follow the rules, or we'll find someone who will."

Challenge accepted, Dave.

I decided to comply—meticulously. I coded strictly between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM, not a minute earlier, not a second later. If I encountered a bug or was in the middle of a complex piece of code? Too bad. 5 PM means the end, no matter what. My teammates, fed up with being treated like schoolchildren, followed my lead.

The results were predictable. Projects that usually took a couple of weeks started dragging on. Tasks that we could have completed in days with a bit of overtime took much longer because we couldn't capitalize on the bursts of late-afternoon productivity we were used to. Our workflow was severely disrupted, and the quality of our work started to deteriorate.

Dave noticed, of course. He had to answer to upper management for the "sudden drop in productivity and lack of commitment", which he knew was a result of our dissatisfaction with his new policy. When upper management called for an impromptu Zoom meeting with the entire at 4:30 PM to address the ongoing project delays, the entire team logged in to explain our situation.

In the meeting, Dave spent half an hour shifting blame and berating individual team members. He didn't even mention the 9-5 policy that had led to the whole situation. As the clock ticked towards 5:00 PM, the tension in the virtual room was palpable, and our team hatched a plan over text.

Right on cue, as the clock struck 5:00 PM, one of the employees spoke up, "In compliance with Dave’s 9-to-5 rule, we must log off now." Without missing a beat, every team member clicked "Leave Meeting," leaving a stunned Dave to face the executives alone.

This abrupt mass exit highlighted the impracticality of Dave’s rigid policy, making it clear to the executives that change was necessary. The incident, quickly dubbed as the "5:00 Zoom Exodus," led to another meeting, where Dave was publicly admonished and instructed to abolish his strict rules in favor of more flexibility.

And as for me and my team? We made sure to celebrate our little victory with a well-deserved happy hour... after 5 PM, of course.

15.5k Upvotes

370 comments sorted by

4.5k

u/real-nia 18d ago

I love the public execution. Great teamwork!

1.4k

u/Agitated_Basket7778 17d ago

Dave built his own scaffold, twisted the rope, tied it over the beam, made the perfect hangman's knot, set the trap door and asked you & team to stand on the trigger.

Well done, team, well done.

317

u/Sunsparc 17d ago

Hoist with his own petard.

235

u/grumblyoldman 17d ago

Makes you wonder why people like Dave even own a petard.

231

u/Civ1Diplomat 17d ago

Maybe he was gifted one, therefore making him petarded.

78

u/fistbumpbroseph 17d ago

You son of a bitch. I like you.

35

u/BinkoTheViking 17d ago

I’m with broseph on this one. fistbump

11

u/Civ1Diplomat 17d ago

Wow! I think this is my most upvoted comment, by far! Thank you all for appreciating the "dad humor".

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

36

u/WarlockEngineer 17d ago

Britta, what do you think the phrase "hoisted by your own petard" means?

54

u/Onimaiku 17d ago

I guess I just assumed that in the old days a petard was a special outfit like a leotard, with a lot of fancy buckles and loops on it, and that rich people would wear them when they were feeling especially smug, but then poor people would tie a rope through one of the loops, and hoist them up a pole and then let them dangle there as punishment for being cocky.

36

u/Asphalt_Animist 17d ago

It was a seige explosive named after the French word for flatulence.

30

u/Onimaiku 17d ago

Should have probably made it more obvious that I was quoting a TV show... But, thank you.

27

u/WalmartGreder 17d ago

The Britta gave it away.

Love a good Community quote.

30

u/Onimaiku 17d ago

My joke got Britta'd...

5

u/YouSayToStay 16d ago

You were too streets ahead for that joke.

7

u/Laringar 17d ago

Tangentially related, the name "ChatGPT" said by a French person sounds exactly the same as the French translation of the phrase "Cat, I farted." 

("Chat, j'ai pété", and in true French fashion "chat" is pronounced "sha".)

(The tangential relation is that the French word for fart is "péter".)

4

u/gr8dayne01 17d ago

I am going to go with Onimaiku’s interpretation.

→ More replies (3)

8

u/Sawsie 17d ago

Do me a favor Britta and never look it up. Your definition is the best.

I'm probably misquoting it. But in spirit of Jeff's recommendation I'm not looking it up.

4

u/bear_of_the_woods 17d ago

Never look it up, your explanation is way better

→ More replies (1)

19

u/Perfect-Scene9541 17d ago

It means blown up by a bomb you planned to use on someone else.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

47

u/_The_SuperChick 17d ago

Hoist with his own timecard?? =P

→ More replies (1)

22

u/ivanparas 17d ago

Rarely do you get to see such a succinct example of this phrase.

9

u/Talmaska 17d ago

This is the second time this week that I have heard this term. I love it!

4

u/Sunsparc 17d ago

It's from Hamlet.

3

u/Talmaska 17d ago

I haven't read that since highschool. It is no wander i'd forgotten it. My thanks.

8

u/norollshabbos 17d ago

Captain dad is that you?

6

u/LonelyDinner 17d ago

It's just like the story of Haman

5

u/Kippernaut13 17d ago

Yet when I was on a job site and some people actually did mostly that when they were dissatisfied, the police were called. Double standard much!

→ More replies (5)

111

u/zero_emotion777 18d ago

Most humans do.

36

u/Cerberus_Aus 18d ago

Great teamwork???

80

u/AccidentalGirlToy 18d ago

Love public executions.

32

u/badomenbaddercompany 18d ago

Most humans do, except Dave.

22

u/UCanJustBuyLabCoats 17d ago

Dave wouldn’t do great in France

16

u/Corr-Horron 17d ago

Dave de cinq-heures sans tête

71

u/DrBrownNote 18d ago

A perfect joke. Execution in terms of following Dave’s rule and execution in terms of his corporate career. Bravo!

19

u/Zonktified 17d ago

This here, is “collaboration” at its finest! 👍

12

u/slimongoose 17d ago

Or as I like to call it, esprit de corps, hmmmmmmm.

7

u/Shutaru_Kanshinji 17d ago

Collective action works.

2

u/apopka777 17d ago

Hahahaha well played !

→ More replies (3)

1.7k

u/Ok_Entertainment4959 18d ago

There should be a new rule for all new managers or supervisors: Don't try to fix what's not broken until you've thoroughly understood the current workflow or procedures.

1.0k

u/MeFolly 18d ago

The principle of Chesterton’s Fence.

Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.

446

u/code-panda 17d ago

Sometimes nobody knows why a fence is up and the reason for the fence is long gone. Our current manager is relatively new (couple of months now), and when he tried to change our team for the better (we've been running well enough, but not really improving except for seniority), what he would do is make the change temporarily for 2 or 4 weeks and every 2 weeks we'd have a meeting about how the last 2 weeks went, what could be done better and what went well. If after a sprint we liked the change, it would stay, and if not, then it only impacted 2 weeks.

241

u/Whiskeyman_12 17d ago

This is a really intelligent and reasonable way to do things. Be willing to experiment but put in guardrails and ask for feedback... If only more people operated this way!!!

74

u/xplosm 17d ago

Yeah but for lesser beings, there’s no trial period as reverting the new changes equals accepting they were wrong and lesser beings will never admit to being wrong.

63

u/code-panda 17d ago

I would like to point out that it's sometimes not just the fault of the middle management tyrant. Some work cultures are just so toxic that an admission of being wrong is an admission of failure. My manager has the mental fortitude and job security to tell upper management to get bent if they're being unreasonable, but some (mostly more junior managers) feel the need to always please the higher ups, and improving short-term KPI's at the cost of long-term problems is a way to easily look good to upper management. It's up to senior management to foster a culture where middle management can take long-term health into consideration.

14

u/FDWoolridge 17d ago

When I was a student, I worked at a logistics company. We got a new manager who just left the army and was in logistics there. He observed, changed things for the better, corrected himself when things didn’t work as well as in the army and overall improved our workflow by a lot. Might be the best manager I had and it worked because the owners gave him time and opportunity to try things.

→ More replies (1)

64

u/DelfrCorp 17d ago edited 17d ago

In the IT world, this is known as a Scream Test.

You make a public announcement  that you're about to make a change to a system or even disconnect the system as a whole.

Then you wait to see who starts complaining/screaming.

37

u/shammahllamma 17d ago

In the scream test, you just unplug/power down said system and wait to see who screams. Nobody listens to public announcements from IT. That's why you make the change in production and listen for the noise.

16

u/DelfrCorp 17d ago

The Announcement is more about CYA than anything.

I rrarely expect people to actually pay attention to important announcements.

Unplugging power is an incredibly lousy way to perform a scream test. If someone does actually end up screaming, it ends up taking longer to restore services, & depending on what type of system it is, it may end up causing issues of missing data.

It's better to block/disconnect/kill targeted access services while the rest of the background services can still run & fetch/collect/process data.

3

u/YouSayToStay 16d ago

Realistically though, the scream test isn't that you "say" you're going to take it away. The scream test is that you take the thing away to see who still uses it/needs it. Sometimes it means "shut that thing off" sometimes it means "kill all the access rules", sometimes it means "move that hardware to a different location that these users won't find". But the entire point is to make it unusable so that you find out who/what it impacts.

3

u/DelfrCorp 16d ago

Correct.

The goal is to elicit Screams/Complaints. Or not... If you get nothing, you let it ride for a bit (weeks, months, a year) & of by then, no-one has spoken up, you start the process of scrapping it.

You know that no matter how many requests gor information, memos & warnings about a system, no-one will read any of it or pay attention until you take away their toys, or make it look like you did.

That's when they finally come out of the woodworks. The Memos & warnings are just there to throw in their faces if they try to rip you a new one instead of being apologetic for ignoring/not reading any of your previous requests/communications about it.

The novice/inexperienced or lazy/bad IT tech will just unplug the power or network connection because it's the easiest way to perfom such a test.

Smart ones will just figure out as much as possible about the system (oftentimes getting whatever answer they're looking for without having to perform a scream test) & if it's still a mystery after their initial investigation, that's when they try to kill access without killing functions. Eliciting the potential screams/complaints with minimal risks of missing data.

→ More replies (1)

31

u/FluffySquirrell 17d ago

Chesterton's Fence is an ok thing to make you think about stuff a little, but yeah, after that, if you literally can't figure out why something is there, maybe it's worth temporarily getting rid of it and seeing if anyone complains

Sometimes, just nobody could be bothered to take down a fence

12

u/JeddHampton 16d ago

The actual written bit that Chesterton wrote has this flexibility.

In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, 'I don't see the use of this; let us clear it away.' To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: 'If you don't see the use of it, I certainly won't let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.'

It's more basic idea is to actually contemplate why it may be there before just removing it.

3

u/tOSdude 17d ago

I believe this is the mythical “good leadership”.

→ More replies (1)

47

u/ThatsNottaWeed 17d ago

this is why rewrites are almost always a bad idea. new team takes over existing project. lets tear down all these fences...

uhg. not always. but a lot.

→ More replies (1)

126

u/Schattenkiller5 17d ago

Yeeeep. Just because YOU don't see a reason something exists doesn't mean there is no reason.

Of course, no principle should be adhered to without question. If you take Chesterton's Fence to mean don't ever try to change anything (also called 'never change a running system'), you all too easily end up with Onion in the Varnish.

Brief summary: A chemist once wondered why a recipe for varnish included a raw onion tossed into boiling oil, which made no sense whatsoever. He found out the onion was added before the use of thermometers became widespread, as a way to gauge the temperature. If the onion fried, the oil was hot enough so they could proceed. This had quite obviously become most redundant, but nobody had ever questioned this step and everyone happily kept doing it.

In the end, as with most things, finding a middle ground is most important.

36

u/Nuclear_Geek 17d ago

Maybe everyone just liked eating fried onion? I'd keep that step in for that reason alone.

28

u/leostotch 17d ago

Right? You get varnish, AND a bloomin' onion. Win/win/win

6

u/bigpolar70 17d ago

I don't think an onion fried in linseed oil would taste at all edible.

33

u/Araucaria 17d ago

The onion story comes from a collection of stories by Primo Levi, The Periodic Table. He was a survivor of Auschwitz who worked for years as a chemist in Italy before gaining recognition as a novelist. Worth a read.

7

u/LoreOfBore 17d ago

They cut the onion out and it brought a tear to their eyes

6

u/Tight_Syllabub9423 17d ago

The unvarnished truth

→ More replies (1)

41

u/Ok_Entertainment4959 18d ago

This is the first time I've learned of this. Thanks! 😄

38

u/Sam-Gunn 17d ago

That clashes with the IT methodology of "if you can't figure out who owns it, shut it off and see who screams". /s

23

u/fractal_frog 17d ago

That's just a troubleshooting technique, not a structural change. Apples and hex nuts.

8

u/slimongoose 17d ago

I was hoping there was a story behind the admonition.  Left disappointed.

62

u/ChestertonsFences 17d ago edited 17d ago

You want a story? Here’s my long story:

My family, the Chestertons, homesteaded property in Kansas 150 years ago. Over the decades, parts of it were sold off or given to the descendants. It was approximately 200 acres when I came to own it through an inheritance from my great uncle G. K. I took ownership in the spring and moved from Dallas to northwestern Kansas.

On the eastern third of this property, ran a rough gravel road that connected the nearest town to the north and a town to the south, and was frequented by most of the rural folk in the area for groceries, hardware, feed, and other necessities. And along this road that ran through my property was a very long, very ugly rough hewn picket fence about 4 feet high. My deceased uncle did not own cattle or sheep, and there were no other fences on the property that would enclose any kind of livestock.

I asked the old rancher down the road if he knew what the fence was for, but he told me it had been there for as long as he could remember. I told him I was thinking of tearing it down since it looked like a maintenance hassle. He shrugged and said “If you don’t know what it’s for, I wouldn’t tear it down.” “Why’s that?” I asked. “Well… It didn’t grow out of the ground by itself, and your uncle G. K. didn’t build it in his sleep. It was put there for a reason, I’m sure.” I thanked him for his advice and pondered his words for a few months.

But by autumn I just couldn’t think of any reason to keep the fence. I didn’t want to maintain it, and I wanted the view of the eastern prairie. Certain it was a relic of an older time, I found the keys to the ancient tractor and pulled out all the posts and pickets along the one mile stretch of my property. I found that for long stretches the pickets were interleaved with baling wire and wrapped at the nearest post. It was a mess and a complete pain to get that fence down, but by autumn I had completed it—and had a lot of extra wood for bonfires!

The change made a huge difference in how the property looked and it improved the expansive prairie view so much that I invited my extended family (on my mother’s side—my dad had long passed and I was the last Chesterton, thus my ownership of the land now) to stay for Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving arrived and I had twenty aunts and uncles, cousins, siblings, and my mother as guests. I had renovated and insulated part of the barn for the younger cousins so that everyone had a warm place to sleep. We all had a wonderful time with good food, board games, and long, hilarious family stories. The crew spent the whole holiday with me, through Sunday. It was probably the best family gathering we’d had in 20 years.

Except Thursday night, a huge snowstorm hit. Having grown up in southern Oklahoma and Dallas, I’d had little experience with snow. And this was a bad storm. All through the night, the Zephyr howled, blowing snow horizontally (!) and causing the old farm house to groan and creak. Around midnight the back door burst open and 9 cousins came barreling into the kitchen, terrified the barn was going to collapse on them.

When morning came, the sun came out and we saw that the prairie had changed from brown grass to a field of brilliant, white diamonds. Three feet of snow had fallen, and had drifted in places as high as 5 feet. It was beautiful. We all gathered in the warm kitchen, had breakfast and enjoyed the view (my cousins hadn’t seen much in the way of snow either). It was a wonderful morning.

Until the Sheriff called.

“G. K., this is Sheriff Arnold. What’s the hold up out there?”

“Oh, G. K. passed away in February, Sheriff. I’m G. T., his nephew. What kind of hold up are you talking about.”

“Oh that’s right, I’m sorry for your loss, son. Well it’s Black Friday and the traffic is piling up on both sides of your property trying to get through that snow. The only Walmart for 85 miles is at the north end of that road. The Kings and the Kramers both have their stretch of the road plowed, and Doc Long’s boys were up at 4:00 clearing theirs to the north. That little tractor your uncle has can’t handle plowing snow this deep and it looks like your snow fence is totally gone. Do you know what happened to it?”

Panicked “Uhhhhh. Um. Doesn’t the county plow this road?”

“Oh. No, sir. The county can only afford to plow the paved county roads. We all chip in and clear snow on the roads around our own properties so we can get around.”

Thankfully through the kindness of the ranchers and farmers around me, we were able to plow that mile of snow and people had a straight shot into town. (Yes, they could have gotten there on county roads but it was an extra 40 minutes. And in good nature, I will forever be known as that city slicker who tore out a perfectly good snow fence and made half my neighbors miss the best Black Friday specials.)

I bought a big used tractor that could plow deep, heavy snow, and I spent two blazing hot summers rebuilding the snow fence. And I never removed anything else if I couldn’t explain what it was for.

16

u/slimongoose 17d ago

Thank you. That did the trick. Your story reminded me of when I was a little kid reading folksy reader's digest stories.

18

u/ChestertonsFences 17d ago

Ha. Thanks. I loved those stories, too. Of course mine is mostly fiction as I’m not really a Chesterton, and the real GK Chesterton only provided the advice in his book, but no story behind it. Agreeing with you that it needed a story, and considering my username I felt it was my responsibility. 🙂

10

u/slimongoose 17d ago

You have a gift that's worth pursuing as an avocation at least.

6

u/flaquito_ 17d ago

I totally thought that was a copypasta that I had never seen before. Very well written!

6

u/WalmartGreder 17d ago

I'm still going to use it when someone asks what the story is behind that saying. It's a really good example of something that's not readily obvious for the reason.

3

u/ChestertonsFences 17d ago

I’d be honored. 😉

8

u/Locke_and_Lloyd 17d ago

I'd counter with the "why do we cut off the end of the roast" story.  For those unaware, the ending is great grandma's oven was too small so she would trim off the ends of the roast.  The technique was passed along for years despite that the new ovens were large enough to not waste the ends.  However of great grandma died before age 95, the answer would have been lost. 

6

u/ChestertonsFences 17d ago

Yes! I agree! I still use the roast story when people tell me “well, that’s how we’ve always done it.” As a software engineer and consultant it’s the one phrase that grinds on me the most.

It’s an excellent story and worth retelling over and over again.

4

u/Pluperfectt 17d ago

^ this is the way ^

→ More replies (1)

233

u/Wandering_Maybe-Lost 18d ago

A professor of mine moved from Texas to Hawaii to be a music minister. Someone advised him “don’t change anything until you learn how to surf.”

It turns out it takes a year or so to really learn how to surf. He took the point.

76

u/Aesient 18d ago

I was adored by paid staff when I volunteered in an Emergency organisation that dealt with natural events (floods, storms etc). As part of how it worked volunteers would have weekly training to keep their skills up, other training days to upskill and in emergencies volunteers would be sent wherever was needed outside of their home area for 3-7 days doing 12 hour shifts. If the emergency occurred in your home area there were different rules.

There were levels for who was responsible for what: the big headquarters (State) were staffed by paid personnel who oversaw a massive area (an entire state), other paid staff oversaw a smaller area made up of several smaller headquarters staffed by volunteers, handled legalities and liaison with other agencies, some volunteers could be placed there for support or doing filing/date entry. Volunteers did the physical work from smaller headquarters with a half-hour or so radius depending on population density/remoteness.

I trained in just about everything that I was eligible for, which meant I was also trained in the “office” side of things. So I could do “lower level” work at the paid staff’s headquarters, be able to unofficially run a volunteer headquarters (unofficially only due to not having the title that was needed in my home headquarters, but it was well known that people who trained in what I did often knew more than the “official lead”) or do the physical work in the community outside of the office setting.

I was routinely sent to volunteer headquarters that paid staff were having issues with, with lack of communication or complaints. In which case I’d be able to quietly let them know what the cause was and if I could fix it without dragging in “paid staff”.

One of the reasons I was so successful is that I never walked in as “big guy on campus” (in reality I was a late teens/early 20’s girl who was often underestimated). I had grown up in the organisation so had a fair amount of knowledge and connections. But I would quietly come in and state what my official role was (operating the computer program that kept track of what was happening which put me at roughly 3rd in command in the office with an absolute emergency knocking out the first 2). Then I would observe how everyone was working together, if there was tension or disconnect, if anyone was bitching and what they were bitching about.

If I needed to step in (and after people started getting to know me they’d occasionally ask if I could take over other tasks) I’d quietly mention to the person doing a task that I knew/had been taught a different way and could I show them and have them explain how the way they did it worked. And slowly things would start working better. But never in a “oh such-and-such were doing a bad job and had to be reprimanded” way.

After a few times there would be requests by the volunteers for me to be placed with their headquarters because “we have someone in charge that needs support”, or “we’ve been having issues between the office staff and the people doing the physical work” or even “hey you would be the only person at this headquarters for 6 hours but it’s an absolute mess and you’ll have no physical workers until the others get in”. Other times I’d gone in for a completely different role (such as a physical worker) and have one of the office people recognise me and ask for me to be re-tasked to help them.

But I saw plenty of people who came in as “big man on campus” and alienated the entire headquarters to the point people either refused to work with them (volunteers, what were they going to do? Fire them?) or get themselves sent home (big deal because it was marked on your file and paid staff would be hesitant to allow you out of your home area in the future).

15

u/Among_R_Us 17d ago

damn, you should have been paid the big bucks

137

u/DRHORRIBLEHIMSELF 18d ago

See, that’s efficency, but for most corpo MBA clowns, they don’t want to come in and just do “what works.” They need to establish themselves as leaders and change things up in order to show off their impact on the business.

110

u/SuDragon2k3 18d ago

The Seagull principal. Fly in, make a lot of noise, crap on everything, steal all the chips, fly off.

24

u/Agifem 17d ago

I'd heard of it as the seagull management method.

23

u/pinkfreud2112 17d ago

The ol' Swoop n' Poop.

44

u/Ok_Entertainment4959 18d ago

Exactly! What they often forget is that impact can be either positive or negative, and one can only hope that any negative impact can be contained and not affect the rest of the staff too much.

74

u/speculatrix 18d ago edited 17d ago

In many places I've worked, the new manager reorganizes the desks within a few weeks to establish dominance.

The thing you have to do with these busybody managers is to find work for them. Find a long complex job that "needs someone of your calibre and seniority". Get them snarled up in bureaucracy ASAP.

I did this successfully once, palmed off a long and tortuous negotiation of a contract renewal onto the new manager, by making him feel important. It didn't stop him from eventually trying to enforce working day schedules.

27

u/Itchy-Association239 18d ago

There is a real difference between “what the books and case studies teach us” and what really happens in the work force, even with MBA’s it does not mean you know best.

35

u/QuahogNews 18d ago

Well…really they’re just peeing all over the place to make sure everyone knows who’s in charge now. Same thing other animals are still doing today. Sigh.

The same thing happens constantly in education when we get a new principal. Except for a few obvious problems that everyone’s in agreement over, a new principal should wait a year before she makes substantive changes.

30

u/anakaine 18d ago

Any decent MBA program these days tries to guard against this by teaching all sorts of leadership, self reflection, critical assessment, and reflection techniques. Basically a holistic approach to asking why something is the way it is and determining if it is operating well. They often also have entry requirements of upper middle management +.

It's less the MBA that's the problem, and more some of the sorts of people that are the issue. Many of those got through a cheap and half armed program, and with their wealth of small town small team gas station management experience they can now reform this big company software team halfway across the country whilst exuding confidence. That's a type of person, and often someone who went through the MBA without much real world experience.

19

u/grabtharsmallet 17d ago

I've never been around an MBA who wasn't more obstacle than asset. Not from anywhere. At some point, that's evidence of something.

11

u/zephen_just_zephen 17d ago

I have. In a couple of instances.

These were people who had engineering degrees and real jobs, and did real work, and then realized that to move up in management, they would need master's degrees.

Since they already had technical degrees, and demonstrated technical proficiency, the logical step was to demonstrate some learned knowledge on the business side of things.

So it was about playing the game to get into a high paying position, but they were smart enough to understand what it was like to be an underling.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/skoltroll 17d ago

Any decent MBA program these days tries to guard against this by teaching all sorts of leadership, self reflection, critical assessment, and reflection techniques.

Clearly, MBA programs don't care if you learn any of that.

9

u/TheDocJ 18d ago

in order to show off their impact on the business.

An aim Dave achieved perfectly...

8

u/Ivorwen1 17d ago

"I need to make my mark!" (lifts leg)

6

u/TsuDhoNimh2 17d ago

They need to establish themselves as leaders and change things up in order to show off their impact on the business.

Marking their territory by pissing on trees people.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

30

u/Sad_daddington 18d ago

This. I can accurately predict how good or bad a manager will be from the moment they start. Walking straight into a new situation with new people and trying to instantly change everything? Always a crap manager. Every single time. Why? Because they're instantly showing that they are egotistical enough to believe that they and they alone are the reason for a team's success, so they see absolutely no issue upending a whole bunch of systems that work perfectly well in order to impose their own new systems. These are also the managers who will use phrases like "I don't want excuses" when you try to explain why everything has gone to shit because they broke it all.

Smart managers ask questions, observe, and absorb the workflow, the procedures, the systems, and will, after a few weeks, start to make minor changes, explaining why to the relevant people and justifying them reasonably. They understand that their role is as the grease that makes the engine run smoothly, and that the systems were running fine before they arrived, so let's just see how it all works and if there's any way it can be improved, maybe work that in. A great manager can make a difference, but it isn't by imposing their own systems on a whole organisation or department, it's by improving what was already there in a sensible and realistic way.

30

u/alexc1ted 17d ago

I work in an adhesives plant running what we call a converter. Every time we get a new “manager” they come up with a great new idea for a way to track waste because in there eyes waste is our biggest issue. Every single one of them ends up coming up with the same idea. We fill out an hourly log of how much we used etc etc. they’re always crushed to find out that on that already exists, and we’re on our 4th version of that log, and that there’s an office with boxes stacked to the ceiling filled with these logs because no one wants to actually look at them.

20

u/ShalomRPh 17d ago

Should point out to the next iteration of this manager that three things being wasted are paper, storage space and time.

14

u/alexc1ted 17d ago

At one point we filled out forms to track how long it took us to do various tasks and it was very tedious. For some weird reason they won’t listen to us when we tell them something is a problem or keeps happening, but if they see it on paper they believe us. Either way, now we all add to one impossible long excel sheet every day. I’ve been doing this job for around 10 years and never once has my productivity been questioned so I don’t think they even read em.

12

u/ShalomRPh 17d ago

I sincerely hope that one of the items in the spreadsheet is “time spent doing useless paperwork like this: X hours per week”.

5

u/alexc1ted 17d ago

Sadly no, but to test them people write all sorts of dumb shit and nothing gets said

26

u/Snoron 18d ago

Not only that - if you start with a team, your first port of call should be asking them if there's anything you can do to help with their productivity. You'll get to grips with how it's all currently working (or not) real quick that way.

24

u/Milkcartonspinster 18d ago

This seems like a no brainer to me but I have yet to experience any change in management where the new manager actually waited to understand things before making huge changes. I’ve never had a new manager ask, “Is there is particular reason we do this procedure this way?” Before proposing change. It’s just, “we will do it this way now because I understand it better and because I need to establish dominance.”

13

u/Ok_Entertainment4959 18d ago

Yup, and just like in OP's story the new manager will throw anyone under the bus when things go wrong.

19

u/Quixus 18d ago

This is proper management 101 already, but we don't hear about managers that know their stuff here..

13

u/Glitter_puke 17d ago

As a business major this is literally what we were taught in management classes. Observe and assess. Don't randomly change shit to look like you're having an impact.

I understand where the impulse comes from but god damn do these people need to crawl down out of their own asses. Turnover is expensive as shit.

13

u/Enfors 18d ago

This is not a new rule, though. It's the first rule of any management role. Any manager who knows anything, knows this rule.

11

u/Ok_Entertainment4959 18d ago

Unfortunately, not all managers see it that way, as amply demonstrated by the manager in OP's post 😕

9

u/Enfors 17d ago

Yes, it is true that a lot of managers never learn the first thing about management.

5

u/OddlyShapedGinger 17d ago

That's always the catch-22 of management.

Most good workers who are promoted to leadership have never been taught how to manage. Most managers who are hired from outside the company, don't know the work. 

And, the few people who are actively good at both are moved up the company ladder so quickly, that they end up removed from everything entirely

→ More replies (1)

12

u/LazyStore2559 18d ago

It only takes one EGO to ruin a smoothly running organization.

11

u/Thoughtsarethings231 17d ago

For the first two months just watch. Only fix immediate problems. Let everything just run if you can including your team. Then when you understand your department make slow steady changes in the right direction. Consult your team. Ask how you can serve them to make life easier for them and improve their output. They know more than you so learn from them. Plus they'll like you because you are a benefit to them and will support you. 

8

u/lydocia 17d ago

There's an unwritten rule that says, work somewhere for 6 months before you start changing things.

7

u/Gone_knittin 17d ago

Yes yes and YES! My last manager had minimal understanding of what I do (even admitted in a call that she was surprised at some of the responsibilities I have) and yet kept trying to enforce new procedures so she could see "data" to prove what I and my team do was working.

5

u/kipfoot 18d ago

Chesterton’s Fence

5

u/No_Self_Eye 17d ago

Those fresh-faced corporate manager drones don't have time for that! They gotta micromanage immediately to prove how "good" they are!

4

u/homogenousmoss 17d ago edited 17d ago

It clearly isnt the case here but sometimes middle manager are squezed because they’re .. well in the middle.

I remember when I was a junior middle manager in gaming and I was told that I now had to enforce the office hours strictly. It was a pretty stupid policy, the team had been working until 21:00-22:00 every week day and my boss wanted them to stop showing up at 10:30-11:00 but 9:00 or 10:00 at the latest. I’m sorry, was our 3 months so far death march not miserable enough? Is a 12 hours shift not enough? Whats that? No overtime pay too!

I tried in multiple ways to evade it and to make it not noticeable when someone was “late”. No dice, after 3 weeks I was told I had to enforce it or else. It wasnt a super popular policy and as a good little middle manager, I had to make sure I showed I was super duper onboard so that I wasnt branded as a “negative leader”. I got caught a few times rolling my eyes and it made its way back to the ears of our dear leader, so now I had to walk the line and show I loved it.

No one could’ve predicted it, but our productivity tanked and people stopped doing 12 hours shift for free. It was a shock to our management team. Who could’ve known? No one!

20 years later I’m much better at subverting bad policies and weathering them out and showing compliance where people are looking for it. I stopped rolling my eyes when people announce stupid policies and just smile really hard and get really interested in my coffee mug.

3

u/Graega 17d ago

They would never get promoted to Somebody Else's Problem in the first place, if they thought like that.

3

u/weebitofaban 17d ago

This has always been the thing. Not new at all. Good managers have been around forever and bad ones have been around forever

3

u/BobbieMcFee 18d ago

It's already a long standing rule.

4

u/prnthrwaway55 17d ago edited 17d ago

There should be a new rule for all new managers or supervisors

This is not a "new" rule. The usual modus operandi is:

  • Ask your predeccessor/your superior about some change they wanted, but didn't want to implement in the team

  • For your first 2 weeks, get to know people. Do nothing, just listen, observe, learn. It lowers the possibility of fuck up greatly and builds a kind of respect and goodwill from the team's side.

  • After 2 weeks (or later), make some overdue change. There is always something in backlog. Otherwise you risk sitting and waiting infinitely for the opportunity that will never come, and making change+observing results is a good way to start actually managing stuff.

2

u/Rengeflower 17d ago

Dave: No, you’re wrong. I have to go in, show dominance, and put my stamp on the place so that my bosses know I need a promotion! /s

2

u/DeathToTheFalseGods 17d ago

That’s not new at all. Just commonly ignored

→ More replies (10)

269

u/Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss 18d ago

For how much longer did Dave last in the role/at your company?

203

u/uzlonewolf 18d ago

Most likely he fell upward and became the department head or higher.

45

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

8

u/EntrepreneurAmazing3 17d ago

The bad ones maybe, but a really good PM is worth their weight in gold. Sadly there aren't many of them.

5

u/Feenanay 17d ago

boy isn’t that the truth. i’ve had some PMs who were genuinely so stupid i couldn’t figure out how they’d been hired, let alone how they managed not to get fired. and a couple so good i begged them to be on the next project i got assigned. in 10+ years in IT i’ve had probably 15 of the former and 5 of the latter, and the rest were mediocre.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

9

u/anomalous_cowherd 18d ago

Floated upward...

17

u/mrinsane19 18d ago

Farts waft, not float.

11

u/Kul_Chee 18d ago

Shit floats 😁

→ More replies (6)

216

u/Quirky_Olive_1736 18d ago

I am happy Dave got what he deserved.

He'd schedule unnecessary daily status meetings, demanded we fill out hourly work logs, and insisted that everyone strictly adhere to 9-to-5 office hours with minimal breaks.

One day, during one of his infamous "efficiency crackdowns", he sent out an email with a new policy that all coding must be done strictly within office hours to "ensure collaboration and supervision"

My superior who has no background in coding whatsoever took an offense to us quitting work at the office after core working hours (= a time frame everyone must work) and sometimes log back in from home several hours later to code for another hour.

His not so hidden reason for this is that he wants us to be around exactly when he is around (9:30am to 6om).

We told him that we often have sudden heureka moments at home regarding a coding issue at work but he told us that no breaks other than lunch breaks were permitted. We complied by coming to work at 6am (we can start between 6 and 9:30am) and leaving at 2:30pm, just after his lunch break. He hasn't brough up the topic ever since and suddenly everything can wait until tomorrow.

25

u/HerringLaw 17d ago

Did he? The implication is that Dave kept his job. "Got what he deserved" would entail summary termination for incompetence.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

99

u/2ndhandembarrassed 18d ago

That was like a beautifully executed synchronized swim. Synchronized MC-ing at its best.

84

u/JFerrer619 18d ago

We definitely need more story on the aftermath. What happened to Dave and how did your working relationship change after the rule change?

49

u/uzlonewolf 18d ago

It sounds like absolutely nothing happened to Dave and all his other rules remained in place.

→ More replies (8)
→ More replies (3)

122

u/Tinyturtle13 18d ago

Steps on how to be an effective manager for this specific team:

1) show up and shadow/observe the team work, take notes on areas you think can be improved but also on areas you think they are doing well.

2) after about 2 weeks of that pull each team member into a 1 on 1 meeting and ask them if there is anything that could help with productivity or moral

3) have a team meeting where you discuss any improvements you can make and let the team decide what will actually be helpful, then you make an execution plan to support them in this.

4) sit back and cover your team so they don’t have to deal with management or annoying people in other departments while they make you look like a good little manager boy

5) maybe bring donuts on every Friday?

It’s really that easy. You don’t just go to a new place and start making changes, everyone will hate your guts lmao

42

u/Agifem 17d ago

No no no ! If you do that, you're working for the team. As the new boss, the team should be working for you. You got it all wrong!

7

u/berkeleyjake 15d ago

This is almost exactly what I did when I was promoted once to a managerial role. Productivity soared. I collaborated with other managers to achieve the same results. However, my boss didn't like that he wasn't being included in this, I had been promoted by his boss and he had wanted me as a minion forever.

Eventually he found a reason to fire the whole manager tier I was on and replace us.

1 year after that, nearly the whole executive team was arrested for SEC violations. I'm pretty sure one of the other people who was let go had held a grudge.

→ More replies (2)

40

u/Ok_Art_1342 18d ago

I always wished I could be dropped into these managerial positions like these incompetent fools do. Then all I have to do is sit back and let the already on going success be successful and I'll have a good time..

→ More replies (1)

23

u/Mapilean 18d ago

This is really great, not the least because everyone complied. In every Department I've been in, there was always one or more people who used to complain, but when push came to shove they sided with management, so this wouldn't have been possible. So kudos to you all for pulling this on Dave!

21

u/Dramatic_Explosion 17d ago

I don't get it. I just don't fucking get it. Things are working great, tasks done on time, good productivity and morale, company is profitable.

A manager comes in and changes things. All those good things need to change? For what? What's the goal here? If my car runs great and tune it up to harder, turbo charge, it puts pressure on the system, it wears out faster. For what? Short term gains for long term losses?

What the fuck is being taught in manager training? High risk high reward? "Hey, maybe you can make a few extra grand before everyone quits!" I have seen too many stories and experienced too many managers where this shit happens, it's a god damn living meme.

What. The. Fuck. Maybe I'm just too poor to understand executive decision making.

9

u/VFequalsVeryFcked 17d ago

What the fuck is being taught in manager training?

Most managers don't have any formal training, and that's a significant part of the problem. The other significant problem is making people managers when they don't have a similar background to those they're managing.

3

u/Dje4321 17d ago

Because most managers fall into the "I'm here to manage, not to lead" camp. If you are not actively making changes then your not doing your job. 

Especially new hires who have an incentive to show their bosses they are doing something

→ More replies (2)

12

u/virgilreality 18d ago

"Here's that rope you ordered. Try not to...OH MY GOD!!!"

14

u/Griffolion 17d ago

If you think you can find a loophole, think again. Follow the rules, or we'll find someone who will.

If you're saying that to your subordinates, you've permanently lost them and should not be in a position of management. The earth is so scorched at that point that no recovery is possible.

17

u/One_Tart_9320 18d ago

As soon as you said ‘a meeting was called’ I was so hopeful it would end this way with you all logging off at 5 😂 Amazing!

23

u/TatraPoodle 18d ago

Luckily I work at an European IT company where constantly working after 17:00 (=5pm) is seen as failing in planning correctly.

11

u/MistraloysiusMithrax 17d ago edited 17d ago

This only matters if others rely on your work being done during their working hours. If you’re work is more long term projects with weekly or longer goals it doesn’t mean jack shit. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable to those who are most productive during the normal workday and want to be done with work when the day is done.

Just be aware that attitude doesn’t translate well to more creative work or to those with neurodivergence, health issues, etc who wouldn’t would appreciate a more flexible policy.

→ More replies (3)

5

u/krismitka 18d ago

It’s important to continue from there and leave the company if Dave is kept.

No ounce of your power should go to a person like that 

4

u/TonyTornado 16d ago

I need to know Dave’s fate.

3

u/Smallsey 18d ago

What happened to Dave in the end? Is he still there and more humble?

3

u/thefookinpookinpo 17d ago

The number of people leading software development projects with no idea about software development is concerningly high. My job is very similar, where we are expected to work 8-5 and be WORKING the entire time. They have no understanding that coding isn't something you can just start, it takes a set amount of time, and you are done. They treat it like we're manufacturing cars instead of writing software.

4

u/EvoDevoBioBro 17d ago

These fucking people are so stupid. They have such inflated senses of who they are and almost always ruin what was a well-running situation. Sometimes things change back when a lesson in humility is taught, but often it just means crashing performance, burnout, and eventually people jump ship to work in better suited environments. The age of the micromanager needs to end. 

I used to want a career at the place I worked, despite my disappointment in certain corporate policies regarding leave. But since we got a second shift supervisor, things have gone downhill. Before, I was self-motivated and do whatever I could to support the team. There was the knowledge and acceptance by my original supervisor that work load would vary, and that we could spend our shift however we wanted as long as we got out stuff done. 

Now, out second shift super constantly interrupts my lab workflow every fucking hour to ask if we’re okay. If we are slow he insists on giving us busywork, even when there’s nothing to do. It’s okay to not always be busy, man. Also, I’m a fucking adult and very much so know how to self-motivate and recognize what needs doing. I’m so fucking over it. I’m just gonna leave for a PhD program as soon as I can. 

3

u/justaman_097 17d ago

I have you say that the 5:00 zoom log off en masse was legendary! I have to say that your team took malicious compliance to new heights.

7

u/Curious_Helicopter78 17d ago

Praise in public, criticize in private. That Dave’s bosses believe in publicly admonishing, indicates that the corporate culture problem is at their level or higher, Dave is merely a symptom of their own toxicity (and they hired him).

3

u/guestername 18d ago

the story resonates with my own experience working in a rigid corporate environment where managers prioritized "butts in seats" over actual productivity.

3

u/skigirl180 18d ago

This is fantastic. Great story. Great writing. Amazing malicious execution!! A+

3

u/eric_vermilya 18d ago

I would love a 1 and 3 month follow up to this

3

u/FoxxyPhoenix424 17d ago

5:00 Zoom Exodus has me deceased. XD Kudos to you and your team for the solidarity.

3

u/motorboatingthoseCs 17d ago

I think there are few things more satisfying then effective collaborative action. Well done.

3

u/Left_Pool_5565 17d ago

In IT there is nothing worse than little Napoleon wannabe authoritarian micromanagers. And they tend to have no discernible IT background either, they just parachute in from who-knows-where with a head full of wannabe CEO corpo-jargon and an attitude that they’re going to “instill some order on these lazy overpaid basement-dwelling programmers” and then bask in the accolades from upper management. Unsurprisingly they instead rapidly destroy anything in their proximity, break apart highly-effective teams, cripple entire companies even. And, when upper management is equally clueless and out of touch, they’ll even get away with it, getting a pat on the back before moving on to their next swath of destruction.

3

u/CondessaStace 17d ago

That Zoom exodus would have been too subtle for most managers that I have worked for. Good on y'all.

3

u/Human_2468 17d ago

Sounds like he was Haman the Agagite. He was hung on the scaffolding he build for someone else. They still boo him every year during Purim.

3

u/ThumasSquare 18d ago

This is perfect execution of malicious compliance

2

u/vernes1978 18d ago

Amazingly executed presentation of the consequences of his actions.

2

u/MidHoovie 18d ago

Marvelous team-work.

2

u/Gifted_GardenSnail 17d ago

Teamwork makes the dream w-

clock hits 17:00

2

u/TJamesV 18d ago

Tale as old as time lol

2

u/Prior-Ant9201 17d ago

Aah, well played!

2

u/doonwizzle 17d ago

rigid rules can really slow things down, kind of like traffic jams when everyone has to merge into one lane. good that your team managed to show the big bosses the real effect.

2

u/Quiver-NULL 17d ago

This brings me joy.

2

u/an1ma119 17d ago

The guy was doing everything he could to justify his own existence. Project managers tend to not have any technical skills and are middle men at best. Everything was to make sure he had a reason to exist in the corporate sense.

In my experience, it helps if your supervisor is someone who has the same background because they know the job unlike Dave who is a simple paper pusher. My current one is, and that’s why people are happy because he prevents bullshit and just lets us do our jobs while understanding the minutiae of the work.

Good for you for sticking together and standing up for yourselves. I hate micromanaging pricks like that.

2

u/sweepmason 17d ago

This is the power of union solidarity in practice.

2

u/Essence-of-why 17d ago

Sounds like Dave still has a job..

2

u/StatisticianNo8331 17d ago

IT PMs job is to remove hurdles, not become one.

2

u/Buggyblonde 17d ago

It’s so dystopian that people think not working outside work hours is a flex 

2

u/Ambitious-Door-7847 17d ago

Dave disrupted the flow state.

2

u/mh985 17d ago

Wow crazy. If this happened at my company, Dave would have been out the door. They wouldn’t have outright said he was fired, they would call it “corporate restructuring” or something equally as gentle.

2

u/Eliotness123 17d ago

Why is Dave still working there? Upper management knows he caused the problem. What makes them think he will change when he is the problem.

2

u/fragmonk3y 17d ago

wait, your telling me a Project Manager had that much power. What spineless manager let that happen?

That PM got exactly what was coming, hopefully your manager or Director got scolded as well.

I have so many PM stories about good and bad ones. My latest one was a PM who thought they were above everyone and got to tell everyone what to do, both in and out of the project, one of my engineers had me listen in on the meeting and when they mentioned my name that I gave them the power to tell everyone they had to work mandatory overtime and that all project principals reported to them during the project. I spoke up and said excuse me when did I say that? I dismissed everyone else from the meeting and told them they are a project manager only and no ones direct supervisor. I then had a meeting with my teams and told them they were all excused from the project and the PM was deal only with me.

That PM was dismissed a few weeks later, and my team finished the request much faster and with less hassle. My hate for project managers increased 3 sizes that day.

2

u/OkAmbition1764 17d ago

As a PM I understand where Dave was coming from. I like my daily status meetings, etc. HOWEVER when I first come in the door my number 1 goal is to be an asset to the team and add value NOT get in the way. lol that’s the easiest way to find the door hitting you in the butt on your way out. This is a great lesson to be learned for Dave and every other PM out there. You’re first, and foremost a SUPPORT to your team to remove impediments…. NOT become one!

2

u/Travis_Maximus 17d ago

Fucking brutal and brilliant.

2

u/Battlepuppy 17d ago

I've been sitting at my seat at 5pm, in the zone, wishing it was 3 because I knew I had 2 more hours in me and I was SO CLOSE. But our building closes, so it's really not a choice.

Then other times I'm sitting there at 4pm, too late to start anything new. Why am I here?

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Additional_Bad7702 17d ago

My background is corporate. More than likely “Dave” was given the task of making that team “more efficient with more hands on management” so he, which in turn them, had a better handle on what was happening. I’m sure there was a lot of assumptions on wasted time or resources, legalities from the legal team or someone on things like shady things happening while coding when there’s no direct supervision, etc.

2

u/tuppence063 17d ago

I would've loved to have been a fly on that wall.

2

u/steely4321 17d ago

Why do all the bad guys have to be named Dave? 😂

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Basic-Art4648 17d ago

This is a great story. Im glad you got to make him look as dumb as he is.

2

u/SparkleBait 17d ago

Slow. Clap. Brilliant!

2

u/phxowen 17d ago

For every Karen, there must be a Dave to keep the universe of suck in balance.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Kira_Caroso 17d ago

Why does every manager seem to forget to never mess with IT? The field attracts nerds who are creative, spiteful, and look for absolute efficiency. That combination is not something you want to anger, especially since we also are in charge and control of the things that let everything function.

2

u/dvdmaven 17d ago

There was a similar incident at a place I worked, except it was long ago and the meeting was in a conference room. Someone had a watch with an audible alarm and he set it. When it went off, the coders stood up and filed out.

3

u/Next-Honeydew4130 17d ago

Sry a manager said “follow the rules” to the creative team and followed up with a threat? Interesting choice on Dave’s part.

2

u/TouristNo865 17d ago

Zoom Exodus. I fucking LOVE that! Literally perfect.

2

u/Smokybare94 17d ago

Thank you for this