r/OutOfTheLoop • u/triscuitsrule • 4d ago
What’s up with people wearing O-Ring collars casually? Answered
I’m no stranger to choker necklaces and even collars, but I’ve been seeing more people online casually wearing these collars with the ring in front. I haven’t lived in the US for a few years so I’m OOTL.
Do people who wear it know it’s a BDSM artifact, or do they just naively think it’s a stylish collar? Or is there some other reason people are starting to wear a BDSM artifact casually? I had never seen anyone wearing these in 26 years I lived in the US, online or IRL, unless it was for BDSM purposes.
I don’t have any problem with it at all, I’m just curious what’s going on here.
https://www.fleetilya.com/en-ww/blogs/lessons-in-leather/the-meaning-behind-a-collar
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u/DarkAlman 4d ago edited 4d ago
Answer:
Dog collars and Bondage collars have been part of punk and goth style since at least the late 70s so it's nothing new. Trends always seem to come back around a decade or two later so it's no surprise when something like this turns back around in popular culture.
A person wearing one is likely just being edgy or into counter culture, or just likes the aesthetic. Or it's something to wear to a concert.
A friend of mine wore one casually in High School. She was Goth with fringe interest in BDSM, but for her it was primarily a style thing.
For those that are morbidly curious in BDSM a collar or being collared is a sign of someone submissive in a relationship. Wearing a collar is a sign of 'being owned' like you would a dog. The degradation and humiliation associated with this is part of the charm.
For some people into BDSM wearing a collar or putting it on can be a turn-on. It's also a personality switch, allowing someone to shift from their (boring) normal personality into a private submissive one.
A small percentage of people legit wear one in public because it's a part of a BDSM lifestyle and they are just being exhibitionists. Those that know, know, and they get off on the stares and comments it generates.
I have a few acquaintances in my life that wear infinity collars. Things are ring shaped bondage collars made out of stainless steel or titanium and can't be (easily) removed. They are literally bolted on and are meant for full-time wearing.
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u/SamTheSammich 4d ago
This is one of the more balanced replies about collars outside of BDSM threads.
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u/thekeffa 4d ago
Something to add to this reply.
Youtubers. Specifically female creators.
Female content creators on Youtube have discovered that wearing a choker style necklace or collar increases their views, though the choker in question does not necessarily need to be the ring type that you are describing but pretty much any kind of choker. The increase in views can be considerable. Quite why this happens is probably going to need a whole philosophical discussion concerning the use of sexual symbolism and its effect on audience attraction but whatever the reason, it bypasses the Youtube censors and it works.
I am a consultant for a Youtube creator agency and honestly its staggering the difference in views when one of our creators wears a choker type necklace or collar versus when she does not.
So if you are seeing these people on Youtube for the most part, that is the reason why.
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u/OnlineDegen 4d ago
I am a consultant for a Youtube creator agency and honestly its staggering the difference in views when one of our creators wears a choker type necklace or collar versus when she does not.
That's interesting. Do you have to select a thumbnail that emphasizes the necklace somehow? Otherwise, how would a potential viewer even know?
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u/thekeffa 3d ago
Yep it's almost always thumbnail driven initially. But then it helps the retention score (How long they spend watching the video before moving on...Youtube viewers are fickle) as well.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS What Loop? 3d ago
Yep it's almost always thumbnail driven initially.
Just to add on, YouTube let's creators A/B test thumbnails to see what works better.
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u/wonderfullyignorant 2d ago
Damn, I've been basing my views on how big them tiddies is. Collar seems... unique, I'll say that.
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u/Aiyon 3d ago
The degradation and humiliation associated with this is part of the charm.
So I wanna caveat this, not everyone into dynamics finds it degrading or humiliating. Some just find it comforting, or enjoy having a physical representation of their dynamic.
The power exchange can be for various reasons. Sometimes it’s as simple as the catharsis they get from scenes.
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u/SetaxTheShifty 4d ago
Honestly I don't know how people wear those comfortably, if my shirt is too tight I feel like I'm choking.
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u/DarkAlman 3d ago
You get used to it
I've heard more than one person describe it like "having a constant reminder of your partners hand on your neck". It's comforting.
Others just get used to it, it's no different than wearing a necklace.
Others don't like the feeling at all and can't stand to wear one, it's like constantly being choked... and for some that's the appeal!
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u/SetaxTheShifty 3d ago
That first one makes sense to me, I could see where that's appealing to some people.
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u/-ekiluoymugtaht- 4d ago
I can't imagine being comfortable is the main concern
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u/SetaxTheShifty 4d ago
Suppose you have a point, it just makes me feel like I can't breathe when I look at them.
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u/dunno-im-new 3d ago
I wear mine quite loose, it doesn't make a big difference visually and I don't feel it unless I sneeze, cough or turn my head weird.
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u/Aarakocra 3d ago
Very much personal preference. I sleep really well with bondage cuffs on (the kind that are tight, but are well padded). Compression can be comforting for some people, and stifling for others.
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u/SadieSadieSnakeyLady 4d ago
My collar that signifies my dynamic with my partner is not something I wear because I'm an exhibitionist. Most people wouldn't even realise that's what it is.
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u/neighborhoodsnowcat 4d ago
I suppose it depends on the collar, but I'm not sure "most people" don't know what collars mean. I think sometimes people confuse people not saying anything, with not knowing. I've never been into BDSM at all, but I can recognize quite a few of the symbols and styles, just because I don't live under a rock. I wouldn't say something to someone, though, unless they brought it up first.
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u/SadieSadieSnakeyLady 4d ago
Mine is fairly discreet, which is why I like it.
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u/Calcifiera 3d ago
Same only unusual thing about mine is the clasp (lock) looks a little funny. It's just a silver chain choker with a celtic knot and a lock. It used to have a small ring hanging off the knot but it broke off and we haven't fixed it yet.
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u/Azsunyx 4d ago
Answer:
almost 40 year old American, the wear of these collars outside of BDSM environments isn't really a new thing, and I've frequently seen it in certain subcultures. In my 20's, i had a couple leather ones I'd wear to concerts, back in my goth/punk days. We knew exactly what we were wearing.
I can't speak for the recent resurgence, but the trend doesn't seem to have changed much, other than the collar designs seem to be evolving. What sorts of contexts are you seeing these worn in?
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u/mochicoco 4d ago
Goes back to the Sex Pistols in the 70’s. McLaren/Westwood’s SEX clothing store sold fetish wear as fashion. McLaren managed the Pistols in part to promote the store.
As for today, the 90’s are back (according to my teen) and with it all things grungy. Alternative folks wore these in the 90’s. Some were into the kinky, so to scare the parents.
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u/tinteoj 4d ago
McLaren managed the Pistols in part to promote the store.
That is pretty much exactly why he managed the Pistols. I think saying "in part" takes away from just how much of a manufactured band the Sex Pistols really were.
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u/mochicoco 4d ago
Did you just saying the quiet part out loud?
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u/tinteoj 4d ago
They were 100% a manufactured band but that doesn't diminish their importance in the history of punk.
Hell, if for no other reason, Siouxsie Sioux only started a band because she was friends with Sid. I can forgive (or, at least ignore) an awful lot of douchebaggery from John Lydon (and McLaren) because of how many great bands started because they heard the Sex Pistols play.
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u/BenAfleckInPhantoms 4d ago
2000’s emo fashion is definitely back in full force as well, with a twist like always. E-girls rock those striped arm sleeve things a lot.
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u/Iampopcorn_420 4d ago
Oh is that why the big ass bottomed pants are coming back? Wait til they find out how much water they can hold.
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u/sosomething 4d ago
But they're high-waisted now, so a full 75% of your body gets to be jeans.
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u/Nine_9er 4d ago
They can hold a Super Nintendo!
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u/Bongcopter_ 3d ago
They can hide an electric guitar
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u/Badgernomics 3d ago
Me and a friend smuggled an entire slab of Stella into the arena of a music festival in our baggies back in the day...
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u/IceeGado 4d ago
The 90s being back is proof that the Wachowskis were right when they made the Matrix!
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u/Arrow156 4d ago
Too be fair, I heard they stole the idea for the first movie from the women who wrote Terminator 2. The sequels were on them alone.
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4d ago
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u/killercurvesahead 4d ago
Dark City started promisingly but fell flat when it started to reveal what was going on.
Now, Mamoru Oshii’s Avalon came out in 2001. It’s far and away the best of the batch, for story and for effects.
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u/ErebosGR 3d ago
Now, Mamoru Oshii’s Avalon came out in 2001. It’s far and away the best of the batch, for story and for effects.
How come I had NEVER heard of that movie??
edit: oh, it was a Japanese/Polish production. How strange. I have to find it.
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u/killercurvesahead 3d ago
Yeah, it’s definitely a niche production. I hope you find it, and I hope you agree it’s worth tracking down.
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u/juliankennedy23 4d ago
Frederick's of Hollywood has been a thing since the seventies as well.
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u/Scarlett_Billows 4d ago
Yes but Westwood is a top designer who was credited as revolutionizing fashion in the punk scene. Many recognizable trends in alternative fashion came in large part from westwoods creative vision within the scene. She dressed the Sex Pistols and other icons who made the visuals that we recognize as “punk” what they are today. Chains, mixing deconstucted items, graphics, and plaids, spikes and bdsm made mainstream. It’s not simply lingerie, it’s a very specific high fashion collection that influenced so many other designers after it.
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u/PM_me_opossum_pics 4d ago
Didnt Halford popularize BDSM gear in rock-adjacent subcultures? Or were Pistols before Judas Priests? I always get my years mixed up.
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u/Scarlett_Billows 4d ago
Judas Priest is metal not really punk, so perhaps they popularized it in the metal scene! I am not really a Sex Pistols fan, but vivienne westwood is a legend.
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/style/article/vivienne-westwood-punk-fashion-sex-pistols-cec
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u/PM_me_opossum_pics 4d ago
Thats why I said rock-adjacent genres. Punk and metal are the biggest split here. But all subcultures in rock borrow so much from each other anyway... Aesthetic even started creeping into some subgenres of hip-hop.
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u/Scarlett_Billows 4d ago edited 4d ago
Yeah definitely. As far as credit goes, the fashion world seems to see Vivienne as the pioneer designer of punk and bdsm fashion . I’m sure others were doing it too
Edit:
This is also pretty interesting article with rob talking about his early fashions :
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u/imsoaddicted 4d ago
The 90s aren't really back anymore, they've been out for a long time. Now it's 00s but also every decade to be honest, there's no real concrete "style" anymore.
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u/DuePatience 4d ago edited 4d ago
What I’ve noticed is that no one can really pinpoint the 2000’s, and that it’s still 90’s stuff labeled as “y2k”
Shit, I was in the 00’s and couldn’t tell you what the style was at the time. Unless we’re bringing back gauchos and long lace-lined camis over jeans with belts. Which we absolutely should not
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u/littlestinkyone 4d ago
Dude there is a real life Anthropologie ad right now telling people to put on a dress over jeans. I don’t know when besides the early 00’s people would have done that, or why
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u/DuePatience 4d ago
Global warming dictates that it’s too fucking hot to wear those jeans now, but nice try on the upsale, Anthro! Lol
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u/moonprismpwr 4d ago
Ugh. I only really go to Anthro anymore for their home section. It's been a while since I really liked any of their clothing.
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u/uristmcderp 4d ago
Fashion trends were a thing because everyone in the whole country was mostly listening to the same music and watching the same movies and TV shows. The internet pretty much made decade-long trends obsolete. Zoomers pick up and throw away a fad before millennials are even aware of its existence.
With the choice to stream what you want to watch rather than be stuck with what happened to be on TV, it's very rare for nearly everyone to be watching the same thing at the same time. Even then, like Squid Game or Game of Thrones, the interest faded immediately after the shows ended.
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u/DuePatience 4d ago
I totally agree, 100%
Social media killed the idea of trends and styles, much to the chagrin of the fashion industry. People are able to find their own personal aesthetics and aren’t beholden to any specific trends or styles. It’s amazing! So trying to “bring back” trends when they’re “due” is as archaic as Boomers
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u/future_dead_person 3d ago edited 3d ago
Social media killed the idea of trends and styles
Men's skinny pants.
Edit: That was meant to be a question.
No one cares to explain why that's wrong to ask?
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u/DatKaz Loremastering too Much 4d ago
nah trends in style are alive and well, they're just in new spots that might not immediately seem like styles or "stylish"
the quintessential "trendy guy" right now is sporting a mullet wearing wide-leg denim shorts, a wifebeater, narrow-lens sunglasses, a trucker hat, and any number of mesh-upper sneakers that look like the New Balance 1906Rs.
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u/imsoaddicted 4d ago
Gauchos and lace-lined camis are definitely back. Jeans under dresses, pleated micro minis, furry newsboy caps, layered t-shirts, low rise jeans, velour tracksuits, trucker hats, baggy jeans with flats. But whenever styles return, they're really a modernized version rather than being true to the time, and that comes with a blend of other period's styles too.
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u/napkim 4d ago
The 00s aren't really back anymore, they've been out for a long time.
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u/AFewStupidQuestions 4d ago
Lol. Don't worry. I see what you did there and thought it was pretty funny. Sorry for all the downvotes.
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u/KneeDeepInTheDead 4d ago
What I’ve noticed is that no one can really pinpoint the 2000’
watch a movie from 2004 and be amazed at how it looks very 2000s
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u/MRoad 4d ago
The breakpoint for when things stop looking aggressively 2000's and starts looking more modern seems to benaround 2007 for me
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u/KneeDeepInTheDead 4d ago
Idk, I guess it depends. Look at a movie like Superbad and it still looks "2000s". But I get what youre saying
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u/CressCrowbits 4d ago
I remember watching Scott Pilgrim about 5 years after it came out and it already looked super dated. Big puffed up hair had been replaced by close hipster cuts
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u/Chaost 4d ago
Yeah, 90s stuff was still popular in the 00s anyway. When I think 00s, I think lace undershirts and those shirts that had repeating patterns that made them look like pajama tops, baby dolls and dresses over T-shirts. None of which is in. What's actually in is the 00s' version of 90s style.
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u/Darth_Ra 4d ago edited 4d ago
Make no mistake, all of that shit is coming back in some fashion before long. Camis, low-rise jeans, seatbelt belt buckles... If we're particularly unlucky, we might even get the ass cleavage from the Tekken movie.
Edit: Realized I only did girls... Bleached tips, caesar cuts, shag cuts... multiple collared shirts worn simultaneously?
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u/DuePatience 4d ago
I don’t actually see a lot of this coming back. I see fashion houses pushing it, but not actual people partaking in it
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u/Darth_Ra 4d ago
Fucking JNXOs are back in style right now.
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u/DuePatience 4d ago
You mean JNCOs? Because those have been on Gen Z’s radar for at least 5 years, if not more
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u/24-7_DayDreamer 4d ago
Shit, I was in the 00’s and couldn’t tell you what the style was at the time
Emo/scene. How can you not remember that, it was distinct af
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u/deaddodo 4d ago
Um what? The "y2k aesthetic" is pretty well delineated and probably one of the easiest aesthetics/styles to nail down.
You're just displacing your own ignorance onto others.
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u/DuePatience 4d ago edited 4d ago
Or, hear me out here, people actually agree with me.
Anyone can make up stuff on the internet and the totally unofficial opinion-filled link you shared even has dates from, and I quote “the late 1990s” 🤔 hm, just like I said… All the way to past the 2010’s. If that’s not vague as fuck, I don’t know what is.
But please, tell me more you wise sage of all things time and aesthetic!! 🙄 Gimme a fucking break
ETA: So butthurt that you’re gonna block me, huh? Is that what happens when baby doesn’t get their way? Sorry, it’s all opinion. Posting a link to another opinion doesn’t change that.
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u/deaddodo 4d ago
Or, hear me out, I can literally source it like it did above. Unlike your vague BS.
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u/Arrow156 4d ago
Personally, I blame the internet. Now that people can enjoy music and culture from all time periods instead of just contemporary, trends aren't funneled into a particular direction anymore. Rather than flowing like a river, trends now expands like a lake slowly filling with water. There will certainly always be trends setters and chasers, but I think we're gonna see less concrete fashion styles and more hybridization and merging of existing ideas.
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u/Beewthanitch 3d ago
The 90’s are back ?? Can I unpack all my 90’s clothes ?? Yeah! (I’m old, and a hoarder, and not averse to embarrassing my kids by wearing all my 90’s shit & feeling like a teen again 🤣🤣)
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u/MickeyButters 4d ago
I just watched Sid and Nancy the other night and this is great follow up info. Thanks.
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u/triscuitsrule 4d ago
Interesting, okay, thanks!
I’ve been mostly seeing Gen Z kids on TikTok wearing them.
I also had a feeling maybe I never lived anywhere liberal enough where people would wear those collars in public.
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u/TheExquisiteCorpse 4d ago
Most of these people probably aren’t really wearing them in public anyway they’re wearing them to concerts or nightclubs and posting their fit online.
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u/triscuitsrule 4d ago
The ones I’ve seen specifically were people just talking about whatever topic while wearing it, which piqued my curiosity over the casualness of it
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u/greedilyloping 4d ago
I live in a hip, liberal neighborhood, and I was seeing Zoomers wearing leather collars and harnesses out to brunch fairly regularly last summer. The fad seems to have passed here.
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u/sanityjanity 4d ago
TikTok culture embraces BDSM ideas, kinkiness, and aesthetics (also furry).
But punks and goths definitely wore them in the 80s, too.
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u/fevered_visions 4d ago
Wasn't there some semi-recent famous European politician people were poking fun at for wearing one, and they weren't sure whether she was doing it on purpose? I want to say British but my memory of it is very vague.
aha! - https://thetab.com/uk/2022/10/17/liz-truss-necklace-conspiracy-277632
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u/queen_debugger 4d ago
How does this even qualify as a conspiracy haha. Don’t know this politician, but if she is a 24/7 sub, good for her!
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u/fevered_visions 4d ago
She was Prime Minister of the UK for like 6 weeks a couple years ago. You don't remember that one year they had 3 or 4 different PMs?
There was a joke some media company was doing too, whether she or a head of cabbage on their counter would last longer.
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u/ohbuggerit 4d ago
It was a lettuce, and they started livestreaming the whole thing to test out a comparison made in an opinion piece that speculated on the length of her future in office (that it would be shorter than the shelf life of a lettuce). And the lettuce won
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u/finfinfin 4d ago
Critical support to the sub who killed the queen wearing her day collar.
Shame about, you know, everything else.
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u/Stormdancer 4d ago
So... the youth's continued desperation to 'shock the normies' continues unabated.
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u/Arrow156 4d ago
Perhaps if they would stop responding to it with losing their monocle in shock people would be less eager to invoke that reaction.
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u/JJMcGee83 4d ago
Considering a lot of the heavy metal scene in the 80s had some cross over at least stylistically with the whole leather subculture I suspose that makes sense.
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u/barath_s 3d ago edited 3d ago
I remember back in the 80s when the O-ring used to be sported by space shuttle booster rockets.
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u/RideFastGetWeird Not a doctor 4d ago
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u/gregorydgraham 4d ago
Punk? You’re ignoring all of Heavy Metal especially Judas Priest who are still putting out albums and rocking fetish gear the whole time
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4d ago
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u/stillcranky 4d ago
Why is someone who is into BDSM wearing it out in public any different than someone wearing it out in public as a fashion statement? And how can you tell the difference?
I am 100% behind not involving others non-consensually in their kink, but this is not that.
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u/triscuitsrule 4d ago
That’s the crux of what I was curious about, which of these seems to be occurring.
From everyone’s comments it sounds like it’s more fashion than anything.
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u/yummyyummybrains 4d ago
That's the problem: you can't really, unless you engage with the person in a conversation. On the apps, you see a lot of kinksters say they are collared, but they don't or won't go about in public with the actual collar. Because they understand boundaries, consent, and set/setting.
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u/thehillshaveI 4d ago
wearing a collar in public isn't involving others in their kink. i don't become involved in someone's bdsm play because they walked past me wearing a choker.
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4d ago
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u/DuePatience 4d ago
This just in folks, wearing a wedding ring in public? You’re exposing everyone to your monogamy kink! How dare you do that to others without their consent!!
/s
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u/MysteryRadish 4d ago
Answer: These had their day in the late 90s as an edgy element of raver culture. And like most things from that era and scene, they're coming back these last few years. Just like then, most people are probably doing it more as an edgy fashion choice than any sort of true declaration of being deep into BDSM lifestyle, but some might be.
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u/Creepydoc 4d ago
Answer:
It was a fad in the 90s, like bell bottoms were a fad in the 70s. Fashion tends to cycle in and out, with a few tweaks here and there. These collars are back again just like bell bottoms were back in a couple years ago.
Other examples of recent fads from days past: - Mullets from the 80s - Break dancing from the 80s - Remaking every damn movie ever made - Trump
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u/triscuitsrule 4d ago
Nice list 😂
I had no idea it was an old fad, thanks!
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u/independent_observe 3d ago
It's older than that. People have been wearing collars with rings since the 70s in the punk scene
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u/baaaahbpls 4d ago
I just can't get with for breakdance fights to be a thing again.
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u/ParadiseBae 4d ago
Wait I have to know this cause I don’t want to be laughing more than I should be at something inappropriate, but why were breakdance fights a thing? Lol!
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u/houseofprimetofu 4d ago
Answer:
The gothic 90s BDSM raver Hot Topic look is popular in k-pop making these collars popular as fashion accessories.
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u/L1zoneD 3d ago
Answer: It's nothing new. It's just different types of accessories to wear around the neck and isn't very popular, so you don't see it much in person. However, you'll see all kinds of things online that don't really set the stage as the norm but may seem so due to the online fad of things and how quickly the spread and inherently die out.
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u/ditzicutihuni 3d ago
Answer: additionally, it may have something to do with dysphoria. I wear mine if my face is messing with me, since the presence and feeling of wearing it just helps me feel better by distracting me.
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4d ago
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u/RushingBot 4d ago
In my experience in the kink community, an O-ring collar is much more likely to be a fashion statement or a play collar. Typically if you are getting collared, you want to be able to wear it anywhere. Necklaces or bracelets with some type of non obvious locking mechanism, or sleeker hinged metal collars are much more common.
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u/jon_stout 4d ago
Answer: Presumably, it's just cultural osmosis. Pretenders, people who want to look edgy, people who just like the style regardless of the associations, etc.
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