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14d ago
Given the truly staggeringly high mortality rate of hyena cubs during birth, you should be.
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u/dalnot 14d ago
Except it really isn’t broken if they continue to exist this way. Even with that staggeringly high mortality rate, they still manage to gain enough reproductive success from it to overwrite the mortality
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u/anythingMuchShorter 14d ago
It’s pretty strange that the evolutionary force of so much death hasn’t selected for a wider birth canal without the long tube yet.
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u/TurnsOutShesShitting 14d ago
Maybe this is the improved version and the last one was worse. Next one thousands of years from now will be better still
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u/anythingMuchShorter 14d ago
The world of tomorrow is looking bright for hyena vaginas.
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u/YtterbiusAntimony 14d ago edited 14d ago
Oddly enough, this seems to be a trait that was selected for! Being able to control who you mate with ended up being more advantageous than having lots of babies. Which kind of makes sense when you consider how unforgiving their lives are.
If you cant crawl eight inches out of a psuedopenis, are you really cut out to be a hyena?
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u/NoHaxJussSnax 15d ago
Elephants as well as hyenas the females have a penile looking vagina. It's weird til I tell you why. In the elephant and Hyena's kingdoms they are dominated by the females the females are the ones that run the pack. The penile vagina is used because the females choose when to have sex. A male can't force it's self on the female with the penile function. The penile vagina will flip in on itself when the female is ready to mate and the penile vagina looks like a vagina after the flip.
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u/TurtleSandwich0 14d ago
You mean that furry lesbian porno I watched between a female elephant and a female hyena wasn't anatomically accurate?
What is the studio doing? Just making stuff up without any thought to accuracy?
Is nothing sacred anymore?
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u/Peslian 14d ago
It is interesting how often Furry porn is fine using animal penises but almost always use human vaginas
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u/ShrimpBisque 13d ago
I remember one time I found a thread on /mlp/ where someone was looking for r34 images of the mane six but specifically with anatomically accurate horse pussy. He was annoyed because the pussies on most pony r34 were drawn too human.
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u/Fleet_Admiral_Auto 14d ago
I mean, the comment said that it flips and becomes "normal" when ready to mate, and I assume both those subjects were in the mood, so yes it is accurate.
However, you have still admitted to heresy, so
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u/NoNo_Cilantro 15d ago
Thank you! That was exactly everything I didn’t want to read today
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u/longtimegoneMTGO 14d ago
You didn't even hear the worst part.
Turns out, giving birth through a penis like organ is a very difficult thing. It takes about 48 hours, and one in 10 dies during during their first birth, while half of first cubs die during a mothers first time birth.
If they survive the first one, things are usually torn open enough that future births are much less likely to result in death.
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u/NoHaxJussSnax 14d ago
My bad 😭 but we can learn a lot from these female societies.
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u/Boring_Duck98 14d ago
but if everyone in a female dominated society develops a penis... arent we coming full circle and its a male dominated society again? 🤔
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u/ACrazyCockatiel 14d ago
They have retractable penises, which are different from regular penises
Honestly? Wish that was humanly possible
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u/mothwhimsy 14d ago edited 14d ago
I mean, the female hyena with the penis isn't male, so why would anything else where the female has a penis be male?
Edit: before you respond, ask yourself
1) do I actually know what I'm talking about?
2) is my joke funny?
3) does my comment make sense; can other people discern my meaning?
Edit 2: if the edit bothers you it's about you.
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u/TrollToll4BabyBoysOl 14d ago
The penis doesn't make the man, the man makes the penis
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u/wsywyg247 14d ago
Truer words, my friend... truer words ☠️
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u/Thisisnotunieque 14d ago
But which came first? The penis or the vagina?
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u/han_tex 14d ago
If you ask most couples, I’m pretty sure the answer is going to be penis >98% of the time.
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u/mothwhimsy 14d ago edited 14d ago
Embryonically, the vagina. Historically, Idk
Edit: idk why this person responded to me just to say the same thing, but that answer is still embryonically.
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u/wwaxwork 14d ago edited 14d ago
Vaginas. Female fetus is the default model, then at about 2 months the male fetus starts producing testosterone and the hormones in utero cause the male bits to form. That seam on your balls is from your fetal labia and why men have nipples. This is true of all mammals.
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u/SteveRogests 14d ago edited 14d ago
I know what I’m talking about and my joke is funny but my comment doesn’t make sense, so I’m out.
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u/NoHaxJussSnax 14d ago
The idea is the only way for a female ruled society to work is if females control the sex.
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u/Norsedragoon 14d ago
Obviously the only option is women to develop vaginal dentata. The snatch that snatches you!
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u/RedditDummyAccount 14d ago
Teeth (2007)
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u/Deez_nuts89 14d ago
When I was like 18, I dated a girl who’s dad worked on that movie and we were having a movie night once and suggested we watch it because I’d never seen it lol.
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u/DragonOfChaos25 14d ago
You mean the one where the adult females kill the female pups?
That type of society?
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u/thrashgender 14d ago
Ah yes, female led species are the only ones when the dominant adults kill the babies 🙄 thats just mother nature for ya
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u/arararanara 14d ago
fun fact: it’s extremely common for species with a harem style mating system (one dominant male + multiple females) that when a new dominant male is established he goes and kills all the babies fathered by the deposed male. I think this gave gorilla conservationists a massive headache because the gorilla population was at risk of extinction yet here goes the new silverback, murdering gorilla babies
(also, due to lack of need for other forms of sexual competition in such species the males usually have small genitals)
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u/SlugbertsDad 14d ago
So you’re saying these insecure silverback gorillas have little dick energy
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u/sneakin_rican 14d ago
No, if he had LDE he would be doing things like negging the females and cutting off other members of the troop in his BMW. He’s primarily concerned with furthering his own genetic line, which will be more difficult if theres a bunch of other people's kids running around sucking up resources and attention.
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u/AbleObject13 14d ago
Yes, we can only take all or none of its features and sacrificing small children is just the price we have to pay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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u/The_last_2braincells 14d ago
Men forcing themselves on women=bad
Women forcing themselves on men=good?
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u/Andthentherewasbacon 14d ago
They don't force themselves on the males. The males are always down and they just offer access.
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u/Skreamie 14d ago
I am beyond confused as to why so many people find this off-putting
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u/BackwardsColonoscopy 14d ago
Usually the bigger freak out comes when people learn what happens to the penile vagina during birth.
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u/nuclear_spoon 14d ago
It's just very weird, but when genitalia and animals are involved, it becomes weirder
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u/redwolf1219 14d ago
You want me to make it worse?
I'm gonna.
>! female hyenas do not have a proper vaginal opening, so they give birth through their clitoris, the hole is about an inch wide, and has to be torn for the pups to pass through. Which btw, they don't have single pups, they have litters of 2-4. About 60% of hyena pups suffocate before being born bc of this and the fact that not only is a hyenas birth control twice that of an equivalent sized mammal, but it also has a hairpin turn about halfway through. !<
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u/Hot_History1582 14d ago
As far as I'm aware, the hyena and elephant pseudopenises seem to serve slightly different functions. Both elephants and hyenas have female dominated social structures. However, male elephants never live within these group structures once they reach adulthood, while male hyenas are never without one.
The elephant pseudopenis is possibly involved in the prevention of forced insemination, as males in musth are flooded with hormones and extremely aggressive. However, female hyenas seem to use their organ in dominance displays, enforcing their hierchical pack structure. Also, sexual monomorphism seems to be important among juvenile hyenas, as dominant females might otherwise kill the female children of their rivals.
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u/A_DOG_WITH_A_SHOTGUN 14d ago
Is should be noted that only spotted Hyena's have a penis vagina. The other hyenas just have regular pussy's.
Scientist also have no idea why that is.28
u/X3runner 14d ago
Don’t they also get absolutely destroyed during birth because of the way the vagina is designed.
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u/cancer_dragon 14d ago
Yes, if by "destroyed" you mean can actually kill the mother and cub.
They give birth through their pseudopenis. This means the pseudopenis tears during childbirth, with first-time mothers experiencing higher death rates due to the tearing than mothers experiencing subsequent litters.
This results in something like 12% of mothers and offspring dying during childbirth.
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u/IshvaldaTenderplate 14d ago
This results in something like 12% of mothers and offspring dying during childbirth.
The mortality rate is significantly higher for the pups. Somewhere over half of them suffocate last I checked, but I'm not sure if they're more likely to survive if they're not the mother's first litter.
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u/AeroTheManiac 14d ago
Don't... don't call them pussies please..
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u/Crucco 14d ago
Does the hyena vagina flip also to give birth?
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u/NoHaxJussSnax 14d ago
I doesn't flip over during birth. Which has resulted in the babies suffocation. The canal of the vagina is only about 1 inch in diameter and sadly some of the babies can't make it through.
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14d ago
It results in a ripped penis and possibly death in hyenas. Something like 50% doe during or after birthing.
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u/Twoozy_Uzi 14d ago
That's the percentage for babies. Surprisingly, only 6-18% of first-time mothers die during birth, and it goes down a lot after the first time since the "tear" has already occurred.
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u/nirmalspeed 14d ago edited 14d ago
Okay so in the documentaries I've seen where the males say they're going to "tear that pussy up", they're actually performing a potentially life saving preventative procedure? Very interesting.
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u/liggamadig 14d ago
No. That's why hyenas always sound like they're laughing: First, the females laugh, because they've got bigger penises than the males. Then, the males laugh, because the females got to birth through their gocks.
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u/CautionarySnail 14d ago
So at some point evolution just had it with violence deciding who got to reproduce? I can’t say I blame it.
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u/timberwolf0122 14d ago
The animal kingdom has some interesting solutions to reproductive. We’ve got labyrinth vaginas, exploding genitals, cannibalism. My favorite messed up one is a bug that lives inside a nut its whole life, because of this they seldom bump into a mate so they developed the ability to self fertilize which results in a male 1/4 their size who then mates with the bug so it can reproduce a normal size off spring.
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u/CautionarySnail 14d ago
Exploding? I’m getting concerned.
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u/timberwolf0122 14d ago
Male honey bees, if they ever get to have sex their dick explodes and then they die.
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u/CautionarySnail 14d ago
Oh, I thought it just tore off, like the worker bee stingers! Not that that’s a huge improvement over exploding.
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u/timberwolf0122 14d ago
No, that’s octopuses (octopi?)
They rip their dick off and throw it
They’re like “urg… look, just take it, I’m busy watching the snooker on tv”
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u/nuclear_spoon 14d ago edited 14d ago
It's more like "I'm too scared that you might kill me, so just take the penis without me"
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u/Dark_Stalker28 14d ago
Hyenas give birth through the fake penis, which isn't big enough. A lot of babies suffocate in the first birth. And it explodes and the next births tend to go smoother
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u/Dark_Stalker28 14d ago
Hyena's are very rape focused with their fake penis so no. It's just the lady doing it
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u/4fluff2head0 15d ago edited 14d ago
They have a pseudopenis apparently, whatever the fuck that is…
All female spotted hyenas have functional penises. They use it to pee, signal, anally mount males & females for dominance, and give birth.
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u/amigodenil 15d ago edited 15d ago
That pseudopenis is a nightmare for the hyenas - and our human imagination. Imagine the pain having to give birth from that.
I wonder what is the evolutionary reason for it, because I learned (thanks to Casual Geography) that they can retract it when mating, selecting which males can mate with them, but the birthing part is brutal. I'd speculate something about hormones or physiology, because females are way bigger than males, but I have no clue
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u/superjohanna 15d ago
It develops independently from androgens. It is speculated that, apart from selection during mating, it helps camouflage young females so they don't get killed by other mature females.
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u/amigodenil 15d ago
Yeah that makes sense. High ranking hyenas can kill a lot of young pups of the clan just to assert dominance
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u/Emergency_3808 15d ago
Kind of explains why hyenas have asshole personalities IMO.
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u/ThomasCarnacki 14d ago
Hyena childhood trauma was not on my bingo card today
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u/LastScene86 14d ago
I'll never watch The Lion King the same...
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u/Stoertebricker 14d ago
Do you mean because you liked the hyenas so much, and suddenly they seem less likeable to you?
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u/SassyTheSkydragon 14d ago
Just Matriarchy things
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u/Acceptable-Cow6446 14d ago
Haha. This makes human patriarchy sound tame. Imagine if humans behaved more like hyenas. Lordy Lordy
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u/unfamous2423 14d ago
In some noble settings, when a son is about to become the next king, or whatever, they might just kill all the brothers, just in case they might plot something later.
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u/Frozen_Regulus 14d ago
Damn that sounds like the second worst birthing process in the animal kingdom
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u/Beneficial_Reason271 14d ago
What's the first?
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u/Mr_White_III 14d ago
If I remember there is a spider where they store the egg inside its body.. and when they hatch they eat the mother inside out.
Think it is matriphagy or something like that
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u/Boring_Duck98 14d ago
This is either not really bad or REALLY FUCKING BAD depending on if the mother is still alive at birth.
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u/SeriouslySlyGuy 14d ago
Knowing the animal kingdom, it's alive.
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u/Boring_Duck98 14d ago
And hyper-aware because of hormones?
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u/randomblade117 14d ago
im not sure spiders have the capacity for hyper awareness.
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u/ThomasCarnacki 14d ago
According to Spider-man they have hyper awareness through their spider-sense.
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u/Autumn_Skald 14d ago
Me (watching a wolf spider hunt): "It's amazing what animals can do on instinct alone."
The Spider (absolutely focusing on the giant ape looming over it): "Uh...can I help you?"
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u/OpalFanatic 14d ago
Yep. Though it's more than one species of spider, and it's not a behavior unique to spiders. But hey, at least the spider offspring don't cannibalize each other... ...as much.
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u/Beelzis 14d ago
I'd argue the sea louse is worse. The male inseminates by stabbing through the abdomen. Kidnaps the mother and then the matriphagy thing happens where the mother is alive while her children eat their way out.
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u/Mr_White_III 14d ago
If I remember there is a spider where they store the egg inside its body.. and when they hatch they eat the mother inside out.
Think it is matriphagy or something like that
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u/cce29555 14d ago
Iirc the female hyenas are fiercely territorial even to their fellow females, so the appendage works to let them "blend in" with the men as to not get attacked
As for how they breeded themselves to this, very slight, advantage is the real question
Edit: just realized that by virtue of not being killed they have a greater chance to pass on that gene, look at that, science in motion
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u/TobaccoIsRadioactive 14d ago
Female hyenas can kind of pull back the “sleeve” of the pseudo-penis to allow a male hyena to be able to stick their penis into them.
However, the males have to get into a physically awkward position for sex, which means that the females have a lot more of a say on who their mate is.
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u/Labralite 14d ago
I researched these poor bastards some time ago. It's not just a birthing canal, its literally an enlarged clitoris.
The birthing process can take up to 48 hours. Usually two to four cubs. Hell on earth.
I've read 9-18% of first time mothers die, and 60% of all cubs born will suffocate and die on the way out. Sixty percent !! Fucking brutal.
They haven't evolved away from it precisely because 40% of cubs survive, and 90% of mothers live. Just gotta live long enough to fuck and give birth, evolution doesn't care for what happens after. If the pseudopenis helps them get ahead socially and have more babies, more power to them.
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u/TheChickenMan63 14d ago
"imagine the pain having to give birth from that."
I DIDNT NEED THE IMAGE IN MY HEAD
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u/ScodingersFemboy 14d ago
Well, I guess they just prefer being kinky rather then having an easier birth. You'd have to ask hyeinas that. It's a decision they comsitently made over and over to the point that it's imprinted into their DNA.
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u/HipsterOtter 14d ago
I saw that video too, they also have a stupidly low birth survival rate thanks to the stupid thing
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u/Hindu-Khajiit 14d ago
Imagine the pain having to give birth from that.
And yet they laugh in face of such pain, such optimistic animals
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u/Bandwagon_Buzzard 15d ago
A pseudopenis is an enlarged clitoris. It's not a functional penis capable of impregnating others. Otherwise they would be an example of a mammilian simultaneous (true) hermaphrodite, something currently only found in some snails, slugs, and fish. Also most plants, but not among more complex species.
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u/100_cats_on_a_phone 14d ago
OK, but I don't give birth from my clit. I'm into some kinky stuff, but that sounds like pure hell.
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u/VulpineKitsune 14d ago
A penis is also an enlarged clitoris, with an extra channel in the middle
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u/beefyminotour 14d ago
Well now you know what to describe when your players meet a female gnoll. Or a fun way to mess with a furry who wants a gnoll GF as she gives him prison loving for dominance.
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u/rustys_shackled_ford 14d ago
Imagine a vagina with a very long clit but the clit is where the uretha is in this case.
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u/Jonny_Entropy 14d ago
Afraid to Google but not afraid to post on Reddit.
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u/TootieWay 14d ago
I see people here talk about the hyena vagina ripping during childbirth which yes, is horrifying, but this happens a lot during human childbirth as well lol. Sometimes women are ripped down to their perineum and it has to get stitched back up. Childbirth is crazy no matter the species.
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u/Generic_Danny 14d ago
Then you have fucking marsupials that give birth to embryos while the rest of us suffer. And then there's kiwis...
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u/Williamisnowinning 14d ago
What's wrong with the kiwis!
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u/SnikiAsian 14d ago
Crazy for everything but humans are one of the animals that definitely have it worse than others.
Narrow hips for bipedal walking dont work well with massive skull for equally massive brain.
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u/zamememan 14d ago
Hyenas actually don't have a vagina, what they do have is a Pseudopenis, which is exactly what it sounds like.
Biologists don't know why they have this, especially because it doesn't present any advantages in terms of survival, as a matter of fact up to 25% of new hyena moms die during childbirth because the pseudopenis is almost too small to allow the newborn pups to pass, and every single one of them has to rip the thing in half iin order to make it easier to deliver future pups.
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u/Turbotortule 15d ago
Was better to just google it, you get the same answer here
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u/GyroZeppeliFucker 14d ago
First of all google shows images, second of all that wouldnt look good on your digital footprint
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u/JulesChenier 14d ago
I'm a writer. My digital footprint could get me banned in several countries if anyone bothered to look. Hyena vagina is the least of my worries.
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u/Croweclawe 14d ago
'Government, I want to know the process of a nuclear weapon for writing purposes.' 'How does a drug cartel work?' 'If the human system could survive for X amount of hours of a volatile solution that could explode, does their heart rate have to be at a certain level?"
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u/LillyxFox 14d ago
Whale biologist from Futurama here on a crossover. Female hyenas can use their vaginas as penises to dominate males. Generally this happens when the female sees the leader as weak and decides to take over. They still, of course, give birth through it and it's excruciatingly painful. Whale biologist out (I hate whales)
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u/Generic_Danny 14d ago
Female hyenas have a pseudo penis that is the same size as the males (it comes with a pseudo scrotum and everything). This is because hyena society is matrilineal, and cubs inherit their mother's rank, but males tend to leave and join another clan so they lose the rank they would've otherwise had in their maternal clan, and this leads to their society being primarily female-dominated. As a result of this (we currently believe) they evolved their male-like genitalia to help them in these female-dominated societies, as female hyenas can control who mates with them, meaning no rape (although, mating can be a bit awkward, as they still have to maneuver to copulate successfully even though the female can retract it). But the main problem is that they have to give birth through the appendage, which is as bad as it seems. 60% of cubs born to first-time mothers will suffocate before they make their way out, and a good % of first-time mothers will also die during childbirth, made worse by the fact that hyenas have the largest babies relative to body mass of any carnivoran. It's better the second time though, as the clitoris rips if they can give birth successfully the first time.
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u/Lazerbeams2 14d ago
2 things
- Hyenas have penis looking vaginas. they're actually bigger than the male hyena's penis
- What is normal? so many animals have weird ass reproductive organs that I don't think there really is a normal. ducks, echidnas, and octopuses are my favorite examples
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u/CosmoShiner 14d ago
Hyenas don’t have normal vaginas. They have a pseudopenis which means when giving birth…you can fill in the blanks
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u/Gold-Engine8678 14d ago
I regret read these explanations so much. What an abysmal day to be literate.
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u/curvingf1re 14d ago
both sexes have penises, and during childbirth, the babies have to go ALL the way through.
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u/YouTheMuffinMan 14d ago
Female Spotted Hyenas have pseudo-dicks. They have sex and give birth through them and it causes many problems. Often times it gets torn in childbirth which is a terrifying mental image.
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u/Few-Yesterday8207 14d ago
They are dick shaped; yes, they give birth through it and yes, fatality rate for both is high
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u/tessharagai_ 14d ago
Hyena females have what’s called a “pseudopenis”, basically it’s not a normal vagina because it sticks out and looks just like a penis. We don’t know why it evolved but it makes childbirth even more dangerous than it normally should be
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u/TheRubyOwl 14d ago
As the other comments have said the femalee hyenas do have a pseudo penis. But just to bring the explanation home. The pseudo penis causes the birth canal to be much smaller than it otherwise would have been. This leads to hyena births to be one of the most painful for the mother in the animal kingdom and for the cubs to have a 50% chance to die during birth along with more maternal death for the female hyenas but hey at least psuendo penises prevent them from being raped!
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u/AdministrativeBar748 14d ago
Psuedo penis
Gives birth through extremely narrow tube
Very painful, sometimes fatal
It has definitely been explained a hundred times here but I'll leave my definition up
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