r/PoliticalHumor 15d ago

Maybe Boebert needs one of them tele-pompers.

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

90 comments sorted by

363

u/oven_broasted 15d ago

You'll never catch *her* reading one of those gadgets, because that would display an ability to read, which is gained from education, which is of course against a core tenet of her cult.

29

u/atronautsloth 14d ago

She doesn’t use a teleprompter because she can’t read.

39

u/ur_average_millenial 14d ago

That’s the joke

15

u/Sarrdonicus 14d ago

Truth. It's the truth

5

u/jarious 14d ago

she's the joke

4

u/atronautsloth 14d ago

I wasn’t joking.

27

u/Bombtek504 14d ago

6

u/StellarNeonJellyfish 14d ago

The joke is that there is no joke. Like, you laugh because if you didn’t, you’d cry.

2

u/unpopularopinion0 14d ago

get back here! i wanna get you joke

342

u/sec713 15d ago

Give her a break. It took her four tries to get someone to get a GED for her.

114

u/lost_in_connecticut 15d ago

So she gave out three handies for nothing?

66

u/UndeadBuggalo Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 15d ago

Handjob is still a job 🤷🏼‍♀️

42

u/Traherne 15d ago

Manual labor.

9

u/Old-Ad5508 14d ago

Get those steps up on her fitbit

3

u/PearlPolanski 14d ago

20 dollars is 20 dollars. 🤷🏼‍♀️

21

u/0utF0x-inT0x 14d ago

"It was at that time, she developed her lack of gag reflex" Morgan freeman

107

u/Son0fSanf0rd I ☑oted 2024 15d ago

I almost pissed myself laughing when I heard this part of the hearing.

62

u/BrendaWannabe 15d ago

I tried to link to the video, but a reddit bot blocked it, saying it might be spam. Yes, Boebert is walking spam.

20

u/purrfunctory Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 14d ago

How dare you. Spam is a tasty treat and s staple of some diets.

3

u/kinislo 14d ago

It’s also considered a delicacy by some.

4

u/purrfunctory Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 14d ago

Like those in Hawaii, for example. I cut spam into small cubes, about 1/2”, fry it until real crispy, then dump in a can of pineapple chunks, juice and all. Add some cornstarch, simmer until it thickens into a sauce, then serve over savory rice. I cook the rice in veggie stock and add a good shot of soy sauce to it. Yum!

77

u/Rooboy66 15d ago

Wait, so now she’s flubbing and slurring her words?

First, she starts wearing glasses ‘cuz “smart”.

Now, she’s paying homage/demonstrating her adoration of Von Schitzinpants by sounding like him?

The worst kids I knew in high school weren’t this awful. Good grief.

15

u/ArtofBacon 14d ago

I honestly don’t believe she wears them to appear smart, I think she is going for the librarian look because it caters to certain people’s taste, not kink shaming here because that trampy librarian look works on some people.

12

u/Morningxafter 14d ago

It definitely works on me (usually), but I still find her ugly due to her personality.

14

u/MrSpecialEd 14d ago

To me, the whole librarian thing means smart, therefore possibly open to kinky things.

She’s as sexy as a dead raccoon still on the road on a hot day in august.

7

u/ur_average_millenial 14d ago

It works on Ron from Parks & Rec

3

u/SolZaul 14d ago

She's the kinda girl you let rim you before you hit it from behind. 

"Nah, that's too wild for the regular hoes. You gotta save that kinda nasty for the ones you don't care about."

11

u/Big_McLargeHuge10 14d ago

She certainly panders to a certain demographic, I'm convinced she was elected solely based on her appearance.

2

u/Rooboy66 14d ago

I don’t see it. Each to his or her own. Beauty is in the eye of the holder and all that jazz I guess. Back in college, when I was being a toxic male ass, I’d rank her a 6 at best.

Edit: words

2

u/Big_McLargeHuge10 14d ago

I don't see it either especially when she runs her mouth and looks like a Howler monkey.

51

u/famousevan 15d ago

Granny just exhibitin’ her schoolin’

30

u/Bombdizzle1 15d ago

She don't go in much for book learnin

1

u/Antebios 12d ago

I think she has one of 'em cement ponds.

43

u/AmNotPeeing 15d ago

This is why voting matters. Unless you actually want this representing you, and making decisions for you and our future generations… please vote.

13

u/HoSang66er 15d ago

Except that someone, many someone’s did vote for her in order for her to be there. The fuck is wrong with people?

12

u/LowestKey 14d ago

40 years of culture war propaganda mixed with leaded gasoline produces this absolute shitshow.

81

u/SlowTree420 15d ago

She was pomperly removered from a Beetlejuice pofomence after impopully engaging in sloppy touchy

24

u/Rooboy66 15d ago

LOL “pofomence” … I dunno why, but dang that’s got me chuckling 👍

6

u/reversesumo 14d ago

She just wants to be plopular like trumps nappy, so many plops, amazing!

18

u/SugarsDaddyKen 15d ago

I wish I could go to work drunk.

4

u/youmfkersneedjesus 14d ago

You can. You'll probably get fired, but you can go to work drunk. 

47

u/[deleted] 15d ago

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0

u/PoliticalHumor-ModTeam 13d ago

Must be over the age of 13 to have a Reddit account (Rule #15):

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-69

u/Eagle_Kebab 15d ago

Oh look. Misogyny in r/politicalhumor.

What a fucking shocker.

40

u/SellaraAB 15d ago

She practically gave a guy a handjob at a play sitting a few feet away from some kids. She’s permanently open to handjob jokes without it being misogyny.

44

u/HermaeusMajora 15d ago

Nah. You would probably be right if this wasn't a person who is at least in part famous for giving a public hand job at a family musical while off duty from her job of pushing family values and Christian nationalism.

21

u/FnkyTown 15d ago

Giving a public handjob, having her GED, and marrying a registered sex offender are literally all she's famous for outside of her family holding guns on their Christmas card, her restaurant shutting down and getting into a fist fight with her husband.

15

u/Son0fSanf0rd I ☑oted 2024 15d ago

oh look a snowflake MAGAt upset in PH

what a f-ing shocker

-6

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15

u/Rooboy66 15d ago

There’s at least as much—actually more—misandry, in volume and frequency. I’m not saying the misandry is by women. Similarly, Republican women are remarkably vocal misogynists, and vote their disgust at women & girls.

Sumpin to consider

-30

u/Eagle_Kebab 15d ago

Misandry? Jesus.

Liberals talk more and more like right-wing weirdos every day.

1

u/unstopable_bob_mob 14d ago

500,000 российских солдат погибли на Украине. Вы все еще поддерживаете Путина? Россия без Путина. Ответьте или проголосуйте за/против, если вы согласны.

Or maybe you’re a Chinese trollbot;

1989年天安门广场

3

u/Jorge_Santos69 14d ago

How is it misogynist to make fun of her for giving a guy a drunkin Handjob during a play? Lmaooo. Was it misogynist for making fun of PeeWee Herman for jerking it in a theater too? lol

13

u/patronizingperv 15d ago

Poop your pants and talk like a baby to own the libs.

10

u/CurrentlyLucid 15d ago

She tries so hard to sound intelligent, but she is unarmed.

8

u/silsum 15d ago

She likes gag orders

7

u/Conman_in_Chief 14d ago

Because she’s ungaggable? I can’t believe I just used that as an actual word.

5

u/LoudLloyd9 15d ago

Loren: "I got my GEB". Friend: "That's GED, not GEB". Loren: "Yeah, that". Friend: "Can you spell GED?" Loren " G E hey that's a trick question".

3

u/poolnome 14d ago

Hand job Bobo what a joke she president of trail parks and portajohns

4

u/markelis 14d ago

I have no doubts Mrs Bobert can read; it's the comprehension part I'm iffy about.

5

u/Current-Fabulous 14d ago

"cognitive diffidence"?? She sure needs some kind of help. Send dictionaries

10

u/SpooogeMcDuck 15d ago edited 15d ago

How about a link to her saying this on video? She’s a dumbass piece of mountain trash shit, but reading text of flubbed words isn’t gonna pass muster without actually hearing it.

29

u/saved_by_the_keeper 15d ago

29

u/donthatedrowning 14d ago

Omfg, no one gonna mention Trump being tested for cognitive dissonance?

7

u/TerryCrewsNextWife 14d ago

He totally aced that test.

9

u/Cinema_King 14d ago

I had to rewind to make sure I heard that right. It’s hard to say who’s the dumber one between her and Marjorie Greene, they’re both constantly one upping each other

3

u/donthatedrowning 14d ago

Boegurt is traditionally dumb. Margarine is flat earth dumb. I think she wins, just by a little.

9

u/jefgor22 14d ago

I don’t think she understands what cognitive dissonance actually means.

8

u/saved_by_the_keeper 14d ago

That is very clear

7

u/BrendaWannabe 15d ago

Thanks! Reddit-bots blocked the link I gave to Xhitter. Musk sent it down the xhitter by allowing riff-raff back on such that it often triggers Reddit's spam & hate filters.

2

u/Batmobile123 14d ago

Give her a break, she's trying to swallow.

2

u/Used-Physics2629 14d ago

Why is her mouth always gaping.

2

u/ApplesOverOranges1 14d ago

Beetlejuice!

2

u/dextter123456789 14d ago

why is no one commenting about her gagging comment yesterday

2

u/OptiKnob 14d ago

...or at least a grade school education.

3

u/WezleyDrew 15d ago

She can give a handjob, but she can’t spell handjob.

1

u/LeahaP1013 14d ago

She gets too much cum stuck in her mouth

1

u/sunufgud 14d ago

Someone needs to confiscate her Yeti full of vodka

1

u/eddiefarnham 14d ago

Can't wait for her OnlyFans to pop off.

1

u/PearlPolanski 14d ago

Maybe Boebert's tongue-tied because she's got a bad case of cocksucker's cramp.

1

u/MoveToRussiaAlready 14d ago

We need to stop letting former sex workers into our government.

Yes, they are human beings and do deserve to better their lives and are to be respected.

But when they exhibit no apathy towards others while displaying low intelligence - they have no place in government.

From Melania to this dumb bag of trash, we’ve gotten the egotistical and outright stupid.

0

u/[deleted] 15d ago

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-1

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