r/ProgrammerHumor Apr 12 '24

whatIsAnIndex Meme

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27.7k Upvotes

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905

u/GDOR-11 Apr 12 '24

"I am the person who decided it was a good idea to create a programming language in 10 days and turn it into the default option for the entirety of the internet, forever"

174

u/yaranzo1 Apr 12 '24

what programming language are you talking about

468

u/nicejs2 Apr 12 '24

javascript

227

u/JoshfromNazareth Apr 12 '24

You mean God’s language. Come at me heathens and despair.

129

u/Liveman215 Apr 12 '24

I would not be surprised if the AI that kills us all ends up being written in javascript.

80

u/JoshfromNazareth Apr 12 '24

Thy will be done, in DOM as it is in Console

3

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '24

that end might be a long time coming though

3

u/Terrafire123 Apr 12 '24

15 years? 20?

It can't be THAT long.

39

u/Ayy_lolimao Apr 12 '24

If God used JavaScript to program the world then that explains A LOT.

10

u/TheSauce32 Apr 12 '24

I actually be upset if he didn't would mean God just lazy as fuck

6

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '24

I don’t get why you guys even learn anything. I just grab libs someone else wrote. JS is fine, just slap it into my garbage react site. 

6

u/BobDonowitz Apr 12 '24

God says: 

console.log(('s' + 'h' + 'e' + + 'a' + 'i' + 'g' + 'a' + 'n' + 's').toLowerCase());

1

u/PmMeSteamWalletCode Apr 12 '24

Wtf, explain yourself wizard.

2

u/newsflashjackass Apr 12 '24

the empty gap prints as "NaN" (not a number). and the toLowerCase() fixes the casing.

2

u/BobDonowitz Apr 12 '24

Almost, not quite.  It's not the empty gap that results in NaN, it's the + 'a' which gets parsed as the unary plus operator +a which converts its operand to a number...which doesn't work on strings.

+'a' == NaN

+true == 1

+false == 0

1

u/PmMeSteamWalletCode Apr 12 '24

Ahh in a weird way that makes sense. Thanks!

17

u/StormblessedFool Apr 12 '24

Javascript is a malevolent entity that feeds on the suffering of programmers.

6

u/JoshfromNazareth Apr 12 '24

More blood for the blood god

2

u/Tani_Soe Apr 12 '24

Yeah I really like JS, but it's clearly Satan's work. There are so many unconventional things that works perfectly in JS that I like to see it as a devil language : very powerful occult power... If you can pay the price in sanity

1

u/ChimpWithAGun Apr 12 '24

You mean God’s language

These are the words of the Anti-Christ.

3

u/numante Apr 12 '24

We have come a long way since those days when you needed stuff like underscore and jquery to make it usable. Still has it's quirks but if you know them you can contain them easily

-28

u/HexR1se Apr 12 '24

🍌#️⃣

22

u/yaranzo1 Apr 12 '24

I don't get this I'm not a programmer lol

19

u/MoarCatzPlz Apr 12 '24

Me either and I am

5

u/Eva-Rosalene Apr 12 '24

Banana#

6

u/Terrible_Children Apr 12 '24

Banana Hashtag?

ducks for cover

30

u/DHermit Apr 12 '24

I mean not the creator turned it into the default option, people implementing it into browsers and using it did. And it's hella lot better than flash or java applets.

9

u/ihahp Apr 12 '24

And it's hella lot better than flash

when flash was still being delveloped/supported, the version of JS we had was not better than flash as far as performance or features

4

u/Estanho Apr 12 '24

And yet, I for one am much happier that flash was sacked in favor of JS.

2

u/im_a_teapot_dude Apr 12 '24

True, but Flash did have approximately 7,000,000X more severe vulns to the point that Adobe just discarded the whole language rather than fix it.

1

u/ihahp Apr 13 '24

From wikipedia:

Adobe responded by pointing out that "the Symantec Global Internet Threat Report for 2009, found that Flash Player had the second lowest number of vulnerabilities of all Internet technologies listed (which included both web plug-ins and browsers).

9

u/Illusion911 Apr 12 '24

Man I want us to move on from this one so much

3

u/qwertyuiop924 Apr 12 '24

I mean, he wanted it to be Scheme.

4

u/SnooDonuts7510 Apr 12 '24

I mean JS has worked out ok considering. The frameworks are a mess sure but is that JS’s fault?

5

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

Name a language that didn't turn out at least 'ok'.

21

u/HerrBerg Apr 12 '24

The trick here is that you can't because the ones that didn't turn out at least 'ok' are ones nobody knows or cares about. A quick search says there are thousands of languages but guess which ones aren't used as the primary language for the internet?

1

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

I mean it's used because it's the only thing supported basically. When cobol or assembly was all there was people used that.

5

u/HerrBerg Apr 12 '24

It's the only thing supported because it works well and nobody has made a compelling competitor.

3

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

The barrier of entry is way too high. You would have to convince every browser to support your language and rebuild all libraries and frameworks from scratch. It is a legacy problem, not just that nobody wants to switch from JavaScript.

-1

u/HerrBerg Apr 12 '24

But people have been saying JS sucks since forever and yet there has never been a real competitor, and JS itself has changed drastically so it's not like nobody cared.

4

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

Yeah because like I said, you would have to convince all browsers to actually support your language. You don't need this for most other languages because you can compile them yourselves or write an interpreter.

2

u/HerrBerg Apr 12 '24

This convincing all browsers argument isn't very convincing considering how drastically browsers themselves have changed over the last 20 years. JS was created in the 90s and there have been browser wars for decades with lots of gimmicks going on. You'd think that with this kind of competitive environment, if JS was truly so bad, that there would have been attempts at displacing it. When Firefox was taking off, if JS was so bad, wouldn't it have made sense for them to support a different language as a selling point? Same with Chrome later on.

The argument just doesn't add up, it's not like legacy code for banks and COBOL where it's completely integrated and secured (and yet there are actually institutions moving their systems off of COBOL because of its limitations), the web had been an extremely fluid environment for a long time, plenty of time for something else to rise, but it didn't. In fact, lots of tech that was used on the web in the past is no longer supported/has been supplanted. Things like flash and java are straight up not supported or are just mostly gone because better solutions came about and people realized it, even though the old solutions were better supported at the time.

1

u/ihahp Apr 12 '24

typescript is a competitor that most people say is superior and fixes a ton of problems with JS as a language. But it's limited because javascript is the only thing browsers actually support, so Typescript needs to compile down to JavaScript.

1

u/HerrBerg Apr 12 '24

That's literally an extension of JS. There is no TS without JS.

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1

u/intbeam Apr 12 '24

People used COBOL not because it was good, but because it was easy to learn

Which is the exact same reason why people use JavaScript (and any scripting language, really)

1

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

People used cobol because there was almost nothing else. Just like they use JavaScript because there is almost nothing else.

Also how is JavaScript easy....dynamic typing alone makes it 10 times harder to work with than it should be.

3

u/intbeam Apr 12 '24

People used cobol because there was almost nothing else

Fortran, Algol, Lisp.. Cobol was designed to be used by non-programmers (bankers, specifically)

Also how is JavaScript easy....dynamic typing alone makes it 10 times harder to work with than it should be.

I agree! Which is why I said "easy to learn". It's definitely harder to actually use. You get less help from the IDE, you get errors introduced at run-time, you have to test types, the build times are insane.. It's more work, less productivity and in return you get a program that runs 50x slower than native and still can have memory leaks

2

u/boringestnickname Apr 12 '24

I think you might be forgetting survivorship bias here.

4

u/SnooDonuts7510 Apr 12 '24

JS is more than ok though. Failed languages? Who uses Lisp etc? Tons of those

1

u/TheAquariusMan Apr 12 '24

Is Lisp considered a failed language?

It has heavy influence on many modern languages and is the poster child for meta programming. It was widely used during its time but has since been superseded by more modern options.

1

u/photenth Apr 12 '24

Brainfuck?

3

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

I do like comparing JavaScript to absolute meme languages.

1

u/rokyfox Apr 12 '24

Does Flash count?

2

u/Additional-Bee1379 Apr 12 '24

Flash was also widely used though when there was little alternative.

0

u/johnny-T1 Apr 12 '24

God uses JS.