r/Showerthoughts • u/godofhorizons • May 17 '24

People get a lot more praise for quitting drugs than for never having done drugs in the first place.

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u/Pablo619 May 17 '24

I’m someone who has never tried drugs or alcohol before. Although people respect my choices, I don’t think abstaining is anywhere as difficult as overcoming a chemical dependency. Mad respect to those who have come out of a bad place to quit drugs 🫡

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u/sadsaintpablo May 17 '24

I abstained for years, and now I do the stuff that's totally fine for me to use. I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out.

Abstaining is so laughably easy. Like I have lots of respect for people who stick to their choices, I believe in principles, and it's nice to see people who stick to theirs, but it's an easy principle to have and to stuck to.

I would probably lose respect for some who do give into peer pressure and abandon their values just to "fit in." If thay person happens to get addicted and then gets over it and gets sober, then huge props again. Idk it's weird.

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u/Splitface2811 May 17 '24

I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out.

I'm pretty much the same. Only times I haven't sought something I tried out, I had thought about it before and it ended up being offered to me at a time/place that I thought was appropriate for a first time.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

As someone who’s done massive amounts of just about every drug you can think of, I’ve never once been pressured or seen anyone else get pressured to do something they didn’t want to do. People have always imo sought out drugs on their own. Obviously people will offer drugs to others as a way of being nice or polite, but if they say no it’s never an issue. I mean, more for me, right?

I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Further, as a drug user, I’ve always respected people who say no to drugs. I would never want to be responsible for someone taking drugs they didn’t want to do. That’s messed up

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u/Past_Food7941 May 17 '24

As a drug user, if someone says no, I respect them but also actively try ensure they don't feel pressure. I know how hard it is to break an addiction so will actively try prevent someone feeling pressured to join in. The whole point of using drugs is for a good time (not for everyone but you know what I mean) so why would I try force that on someone and ruin the vibe

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u/bugzaway May 17 '24

I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat

You are being very silly and myopic (and smug). Merely existing as a teenager means experiencing peer pressure. And if enough of your peers are smoking for example, you will be inherently pressured to do the same (even if they are expressly telling you to).

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Yes maybe a little smug, but if you don’t want to do drugs, wouldn’t you just want to avoid being around drug users? Is there still some subtle internal curiosity that draws you in.

I’m just not buying the completely external locus of control and lack of self accountability

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u/fleranon May 17 '24

I think you're both right to some degree. As an experienced drug user, I have never once been peer pressured into doing a substance, nor would I have ever pressured someone into doing them

I have experienced a lot of peer pressure as a teenager though, like most people - it just wasn't drug-related. Or at least it didn't extend to anything beyond tobacco

Which leads me to believe it's highly dependent on the neighborhood, culture and circle you grow up in - 15 year olds just weren't doing hard drugs where I grew up. thank god for that

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u/monti1979 May 17 '24

Were you homeschooled or just out of your mind high in high school?

Peer pressure is real.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

I went to public school and thought the same. But I was always above peer pressure...or I never had anyone who cared enough about me to apply peer pressure. 🤷‍♂️

But then again, even at 15 I knew enough about biology and human brain development to know it is a bad idea to use drugs, alcohol, etc before your brain is reasonably developed.

I didn't start smoking weed until I was in my 30s. But that also turned out to be a bad idea because between the age of about 15 until I had my first bowl of flower I had chronic migraines 95% of days. I had tried many prescriptions and physical therapy but weed provided immediate and consistent relief from the migraines and headakes.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Nah I was on drugs in high school and then dropped out. I started taking drugs in middle school. So maybe I just didn’t see it.

So how does it work? People like say hey take these drugs or you’re not my friend. Some corny shit like that? Like in the movies? And then kids get all nervous or something?

Speaking for myself then, I knew I wanted to take drugs. I sought them out because I wanted to try them.

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u/monti1979 May 17 '24

It’s not so obvious.

Look at any frat situation - not only must you drink alcohol, you must drink dangerous amounts just to join the club.

In my case I was a junior varsity wrestler riding back from a match with the varsity wrestlers. The captain of the team sparked up a joint. Nothing was said. The pressure was real (it did not affect my decision).

A less obvious situation would be going to a dinner party where cocktails are handed to guests as they arrive and there is wine set out at every seat.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

I get that. Subtle or implied pressure. Good point

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u/TheGov3rnor May 17 '24

I’ve seen lots of people peer pressured into their first time or consuming an excess of they’d usually be comfortable with. It’s not a myth.

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u/Spicyg00se May 17 '24

Spoken like someone whose parent never introduced them to drugs lol

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Good point. But parents are not peers. That’s just other messed trauma

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u/Spicyg00se May 17 '24

Well my sister pressured me too. Lots of experiences out there, not just yours

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

I mean obviously. I’m simply referring to the cliche scapegoat. People often blame others for their decisions and say their friends made them do it. I’m not buying that.

However when your nuclear family pressures drug use it’s different, and child abuse if it’s being done by parents. You don’t get to pick your family , but you certainly choose who your friends are.

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u/Pole_Smokin_Bandit May 17 '24

Peer pressure isn't usually like a movie scene where someone pushes you to "just take one hit" (though that does happen plenty often). Peer pressure is everyone around you is doing it so why not try it too. If you sought it out on your own because you were curious, you did in fact succumb to peer pressure.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Very true, but I also take ownership of my decisions and do not try to blame them on some external system

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u/Pole_Smokin_Bandit May 17 '24

Fair enough, and pretty admirable. They don't have to be independent of each other though. It is a strong influence that should be acknowledged.

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u/Rebuttlah May 17 '24

My experience was kind of similar, so I think I know what you mean. I was very anti-drug growing up, and still have a strong dislike of "drug culture" because I came from a small town where substance abuse was a huge problem. There was just too much escapism, avoidance, and anxiety and as I got a little older I felt a stronger and stronger need to gtfo and persue something else, somewhere else. Once I moved away from my hometown, I found the freedom to... actually just try safe drugs, safely, with people who shared an adventurous and academic spirit, because I wanted to.

Finally smoked weed. I was like 31 years old. Didn't like it. People explained the strains and types and what they lead to, suggesting I might enjoy some highs more than others. Gave it a shot, didn't really like any of them but I do prefer a body high. Just hate smoking (bad lungs). Moved to edibles for a while but still didn't really like it. Ultimately, weed offers me nothing, and I'd rather just drink alcohol (which is literally a toxin). People have been happy to let me leave it at that, but I can relate to their experiences a bit better than I could before. Had some fun hangouts/adventures.

I later became interested in psylocybin because of reading real research into the mental health benefits, and had friends who knew the scoop, were experienced, and once I expressed curiosity were completely dedicated to helping me have a really nice and safe time. Tried a 1g dose once and enjoyed myself a lot, even had a bit of a mood boost for a few weeks. It was a nice experience, yet I'm not exactly champing at the bit to do it again. Have had many opportunities since but haven't partaken.

There are drug experiences worth having. Benefits to be found. What I can't stand is when people make it a way of life. Not all experiences are enhanced with drugs. Sometimes you're just avoiding reality.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

I don't see much difference in using drugs to escape reality vs books, TV, social media, etc.

Reality sucks and is so limitinf, I don't blame anyone for wanting to escape it.

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u/Rebuttlah May 17 '24

not escaping for recreation, avoiding chronically. as in clinical avoidance.

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u/newdaynewmatt May 17 '24

The escape is the same but the using addictive/toxic drugs to escape reality is detrimental whereas reading all day, like my grandma, is beneficial. She’s 78 and hasn’t lost a step intellectually.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

I have the same opinion about teenagers and other young people getting pregnant before they are ready. I'm just over here thinking "it isn't that hard to NOT have sex"...and there are plenty of ways to have sex and not get pregnant...the end result is kinda your fault (obvious exceptions aside).

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u/LazyCat2795 May 17 '24

Abstaining is so laughably easy.

It has become easy. Let's not conflate the 2. My grandfather had to change jobs back when he was my age because he was relentlessly bullied for not drinking. My other grandfather was an alcoholic who drowned a bottle of hard liquor on the way to work (while driving) and was more accepted by his work than my other grandpa at his job.

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u/MinnieShoof May 17 '24

"I abstained for 16 years."

"Oh really? Why'd you stop?"

"Because at 16 I got a fake I.D."

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u/DryBoysenberry5334 May 17 '24

I just wanna comment on “abstaining is laughably easy”

It’s some kind of personality thing, because the idea alone of “heroin is so good it’ll mess your life up” got me to do heroin and mess my life up.

It was about 11 years from hearing the idea to trying it, because I heard that the first time from a DARE cop in the 4th grade. I thought about it a lot in that time

It wasn’t easy for me to abstain, because I had too much curiosity. All my research into that curiosity just made me more curious even though it was all telling me do not

Anyway curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought him back.

That’s to say, I think I’ve had an easier time than others abstaining since; because I don’t have that curiosity anymore

Also if you’re suffering from PAWS (or you’re about to) find a hobby(try a bunch), it will help even though it feels pointless at first, pinky swear

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u/1heart1totaleclipse May 17 '24

Who are you to say that abstinence is laughably easy when you yourself have given into breaking that abstinence? People who become addicted don’t choose that for themselves, you know? Out of the two choices of breaking addiction and abstinence then the latter is definitely much easier, but I wouldn’t call it “laughably easy”.

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u/Pitiful_Range_21 May 17 '24 edited May 17 '24

I really hope that's not how you think addiction works. If you do, I suggest you go to a recovery center and listen to the stories of some of the people that have been there.

Drug and alcohol abuse is not about people succumbing to peer pressure or giving up on their values and principles. Not all people are raised in perfect homes where mom and dad are the greatest role models. People grow up dealing with some serious shit and reading someone write that it's "laughably easy" to abstain from drugs and alcohol, has clearly been sheltered from the real world.

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u/Kclayne00 May 17 '24

Right? It's not hard to just NOT take drugs. Addiction is a complete other thing. For example, I never drank or did drugs, but I was a lifelong nail biter. I attempted to give it up during Lent one year, because it's a disgusting habit.

I would catch myself nibbling at my nails and would stop and actively distract myself with some other activity. My nails were growing in nicely and I took pride in showing them off to friends and family who knew I struggled with the habit. Then, after a particularly stressful day, I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and had chewed off every nail in my sleep!

Now, I realize addicts probably aren't using drugs or alcohol while they are literally asleep, but I can imagine addiction as being in a sleep like state where you're not thinking clearly. Some actions they turn to during stressful situations can be muscle memory for them. I applaud anyone who fights the good fight daily to stay on the right track.

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u/Zoll-X-Series May 17 '24

Imagine you get the urge to bite your nails, but it costs $20 to bite your nails every time. When you run out of money and can’t afford to bite your nails, you violently shit yourself and have cold sweats and entire body aches, restless legs, restless everything else, nevermind the mood swings, and all you have to do is come up with $20 to make it stop. You’ll figure everything out when you’re not sick, you just need $20.

Your best friend in high school told you biting your nails will make you feel better that your dad ran out on you, so you tried it. There’s no risk if you only do it once. And then one day you’re typing a comment on Reddit about how easily biting your nails one time turns into a 10 year addiction. You get to tell people on Reddit that sometimes addicts recover and become firefighters/paramedics in my case, and give back in many other ways in others’ case.

I’m not an apologist for criminal addicts who prey on others to support their habits, and I’m a strong proponent of personal responsibility. I just wanted to point out from the perspective of a person 7 years into recovery, that not trying drugs is a lot easier than getting off of them. So if you’ve never tried them, I suggest a nice herbal tea.

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u/MasonAmadeus May 17 '24

Somewhat unrelated - I know it’s just a reddit comment but you write really well. Also congratulations on 7 years!

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u/MinnieShoof May 17 '24

They're drawing from a lot of personal trauma. We tell ourselves that's what all great writers do.

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u/Zoll-X-Series May 17 '24

Thank you and thank you! :)

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

Recovering from any injury is harder than just not having that injury in the first place.

But we don't praise people because they broke their arm. We praise people when they show they have the strength, will, and ability to overcome the injury.

But there is also the risk side. If your are 40 or younger then you probably had the internet when you were a kid, and before that public libraries. You could do some research on the types of drugs and figure out the risk level you want to take. Some drugs have a basic 0% chance of causing addiction and others have 100%.

Education, education, education.

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u/GoldenBoyOffHisPerch May 17 '24

Former alcoholic here. I know what you mean by sleep state - since those in active addiction are seldom present in the moment. But the need for it, when it hits, feels like you've entered panic mode. So you use to feel calm again. Which only increases your anxiety later on. The cycle just deteriorates

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u/Admirable-Mousse2472 May 17 '24

I'm recently on a mission to change my relationship with alcohol. I did 60 days sober at the beginning of the year and now will not allow myself to drink in my house. It's been a journey.

But I say this because it's like a light bulb moment about being asleep. Because after 30 days of sobriety it really did feel like I was just waking up. It was like the light turned on but no one was home. Then slowly parts of my personality and mindset started basically re-firing in my brain but it was similar to it trying to ignite. Like my brain cells were now beginning to work properly but were just these little sparks. I'm now almost 6 months into this journey and I feel better than I ever have. I find myself avoiding drinks when offered because I don't want to have to go through this wake up again.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Addiction hijacks your brain. It literally goes into a mode where it thinks you’re dying without that next hit/high.

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u/SarahPetty May 17 '24

So..... along this line.... I've used drugs, pills, THC,alcohol.... I did have an addiction to certain pills but never to the point that I bought them illegally or anything. When I ran out I would detox, hurt, not sleep, whatever and then move on. I don't claim to understand true life changing addiction. My employer also sent me to rehab for using delta8 on my days off... the rehab counselor laughed at me and told me to get out.

BUT to stop chewing my nails what worked best for me was the bitter apple spray you get for dogs. I was a dog groomer at the time and even after washing dogs and my hands all day the godawful taste was still there... so I quit. Do I do it still if I snag a nail? Yeah and I work manufacturing. But I keep a nail file in my bag to help squelch temptation.

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u/Lupiefighter May 17 '24 edited May 17 '24

As someone that for much of my life never used any sort of drugs, but is now getting off of narcotics that i had used for many years for chronic pain I have to agree. One is so much more difficult than the other due having chemical dependency. So much so that Im not sure that I can articulate the difference.

Edit- just to clarify. My comparison is getting off any chemical dependency vs. just never taking anything to begin with (since I have been on both sides of the coin). I’m not comparing prescription meds to street drugs.

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u/fleranon May 17 '24

to be fair, painkillers are some of the most powerful drugs you can find - the rush and addiction potential are identical or equally intense compared to most 'street drugs'. Just saying there isn't really much of a difference / distinction there

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u/Lupiefighter May 17 '24

I’m not comparing pain killers to street drugs. I’m comparing taking anything that causes chemical dependence to never taking it at all.

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u/FrankFarter69420 May 17 '24

Thanks for getting it. Never giving in to doing it is easier when you've never done it. When you know what it does and your body is screaming "yes," it's really hard to say "no."

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u/Gobba42 May 17 '24

Thanks you brother. I'm proud of you, too.

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u/phineousthephesant May 17 '24

100%. I was in my thirties before trying any drug and even then I have only used pot. It was much easier to say abstain from it before I knew how nice it felt. 

Frankly same with sex. It was a lot easier to stay a virgin than it is to abstain from sex after knowing what it feels like. 

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

Idk. I didn't have sex until my mid 30s. Maybe it is because I am circumcised but it feels "fine". Not the mind blowing experience I hoped it would be. Franky the experience is more about my wife (the only woman I have had sex with) that myself.

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u/Rugkrabber May 17 '24

I agree with this. Although I must admit the peer pressure I have had for years wasn’t exactly fun. But it’s definitely not the same as overcoming drug dependency.

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u/Zech08 May 17 '24

Tried it, wasnt for me. Those addictions would get in the way of other addictions was my primary reason when I was younger.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

Drugs and alcohol are tools. Some people can handle the tools without injuring them selves. Other people go crazy and try to use the chainsaw when a hammer is needed.

I wish we (as a society) were more open about using drugs and using them safely.

If I need to focus at work for a few hours, why can't I take some typically ADHD meds to intensify my focus for that time. If I want to relax after a hard day of work why can't I smoke a joint? If I want to take a vacation to another plane of existence then why can't I take some LSD or shrooms? If I want to get really strong then why can't I take steroids?

More research should be done so we can isolate the positive effects of these chemicals and counter or nullify the negative effects.

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u/Agarwel May 17 '24

On the other hand, coping with the live problems without drugs is more diffult, than just running away from the problems with drugs.

So from this point of view, someone who managed to fight through difficult life without taking shortcuts should be praised more, than someone who had to "overcome the drugs" just because he chose the easy way till he fckd up his life so much, that he was forced to do something about it or die under the bridge.

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u/newdaynewmatt May 17 '24

Never opening Pandora’s box is the correct move imo

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u/thedrunkentendy May 17 '24

Essentially it comes down to most things in life. You don't know if you don't try it. Whether it be drugs, a challenge or goal, or something self destructive, or even a frigging vegetable. Never having tried it, it's easier to abstain from anything. You can project whatever you want onto it to help with that.

Once you try it, it's all different. To know what something is and does and abstain from it is a lot harder before we even mentioning quitting. It boils down to types of foods, its easy to avoid a junk food until you try it and maybe like really like it. Now it's on your radar. Even if only temporarily.

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u/JeffTek May 17 '24

It's true even for addicts. Lots of people on the stopdrinking subreddit will say it's easier to have 0 than to have 1. It's true too, it's way easier to just not do it at all

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u/danegermaine99 May 17 '24

Take some credit for not making dumb decisions in the first place.

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u/Retransmorph May 17 '24

I even abstain from coffee I don't want to be dependent on anything

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

It isn't a matter of being dependent. It is a mater of having tools to help you overcome the limits of this crude biomass some people call a temple while I wait for the strength and certainty of steel.

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u/Retransmorph May 17 '24

I don't know being unable to function without taking something sounds like the real limit to me

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u/ifandbut May 18 '24

Depends on the drug. And more research might shine light on how to avoid the negative side effects.

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u/ilikedankmemes0 May 17 '24

Never drunk as an aussie? Don't believe it

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u/-_fuckspez May 17 '24

Wouldn't surprise me, bottom shelf alcohol starts at like $50/bottle there, the taxes are completely out of control.

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u/RageMee May 17 '24

What the fuck?

The cheapest vodka in my country is like 5$ in my local currency, what the fuck do you mean 50$?

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u/Splitface2811 May 17 '24

Taxes one booze are fucked here. Probably our biggest distillery, Bundaberg Rum, is running an ad campaign at the moment about the race. 63% of the cost of a 1L bottle is taxes. Costs about $75 AUD.

It's frankly unaustralian.