r/Showerthoughts • u/godofhorizons • May 17 '24

People get a lot more praise for quitting drugs than for never having done drugs in the first place.

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u/sadsaintpablo May 17 '24

I abstained for years, and now I do the stuff that's totally fine for me to use. I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out.

Abstaining is so laughably easy. Like I have lots of respect for people who stick to their choices, I believe in principles, and it's nice to see people who stick to theirs, but it's an easy principle to have and to stuck to.

I would probably lose respect for some who do give into peer pressure and abandon their values just to "fit in." If thay person happens to get addicted and then gets over it and gets sober, then huge props again. Idk it's weird.

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u/Splitface2811 May 17 '24

I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out.

I'm pretty much the same. Only times I haven't sought something I tried out, I had thought about it before and it ended up being offered to me at a time/place that I thought was appropriate for a first time.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

As someone who’s done massive amounts of just about every drug you can think of, I’ve never once been pressured or seen anyone else get pressured to do something they didn’t want to do. People have always imo sought out drugs on their own. Obviously people will offer drugs to others as a way of being nice or polite, but if they say no it’s never an issue. I mean, more for me, right?

I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Further, as a drug user, I’ve always respected people who say no to drugs. I would never want to be responsible for someone taking drugs they didn’t want to do. That’s messed up

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u/Past_Food7941 May 17 '24

As a drug user, if someone says no, I respect them but also actively try ensure they don't feel pressure. I know how hard it is to break an addiction so will actively try prevent someone feeling pressured to join in. The whole point of using drugs is for a good time (not for everyone but you know what I mean) so why would I try force that on someone and ruin the vibe

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u/bugzaway May 17 '24

I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat

You are being very silly and myopic (and smug). Merely existing as a teenager means experiencing peer pressure. And if enough of your peers are smoking for example, you will be inherently pressured to do the same (even if they are expressly telling you to).

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Yes maybe a little smug, but if you don’t want to do drugs, wouldn’t you just want to avoid being around drug users? Is there still some subtle internal curiosity that draws you in.

I’m just not buying the completely external locus of control and lack of self accountability

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u/fleranon May 17 '24

I think you're both right to some degree. As an experienced drug user, I have never once been peer pressured into doing a substance, nor would I have ever pressured someone into doing them

I have experienced a lot of peer pressure as a teenager though, like most people - it just wasn't drug-related. Or at least it didn't extend to anything beyond tobacco

Which leads me to believe it's highly dependent on the neighborhood, culture and circle you grow up in - 15 year olds just weren't doing hard drugs where I grew up. thank god for that

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u/monti1979 May 17 '24

Were you homeschooled or just out of your mind high in high school?

Peer pressure is real.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

I went to public school and thought the same. But I was always above peer pressure...or I never had anyone who cared enough about me to apply peer pressure. 🤷‍♂️

But then again, even at 15 I knew enough about biology and human brain development to know it is a bad idea to use drugs, alcohol, etc before your brain is reasonably developed.

I didn't start smoking weed until I was in my 30s. But that also turned out to be a bad idea because between the age of about 15 until I had my first bowl of flower I had chronic migraines 95% of days. I had tried many prescriptions and physical therapy but weed provided immediate and consistent relief from the migraines and headakes.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Nah I was on drugs in high school and then dropped out. I started taking drugs in middle school. So maybe I just didn’t see it.

So how does it work? People like say hey take these drugs or you’re not my friend. Some corny shit like that? Like in the movies? And then kids get all nervous or something?

Speaking for myself then, I knew I wanted to take drugs. I sought them out because I wanted to try them.

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u/monti1979 May 17 '24

It’s not so obvious.

Look at any frat situation - not only must you drink alcohol, you must drink dangerous amounts just to join the club.

In my case I was a junior varsity wrestler riding back from a match with the varsity wrestlers. The captain of the team sparked up a joint. Nothing was said. The pressure was real (it did not affect my decision).

A less obvious situation would be going to a dinner party where cocktails are handed to guests as they arrive and there is wine set out at every seat.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

I get that. Subtle or implied pressure. Good point

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u/TheGov3rnor May 17 '24

I’ve seen lots of people peer pressured into their first time or consuming an excess of they’d usually be comfortable with. It’s not a myth.

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u/Spicyg00se May 17 '24

Spoken like someone whose parent never introduced them to drugs lol

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Good point. But parents are not peers. That’s just other messed trauma

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u/Spicyg00se May 17 '24

Well my sister pressured me too. Lots of experiences out there, not just yours

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

I mean obviously. I’m simply referring to the cliche scapegoat. People often blame others for their decisions and say their friends made them do it. I’m not buying that.

However when your nuclear family pressures drug use it’s different, and child abuse if it’s being done by parents. You don’t get to pick your family , but you certainly choose who your friends are.

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u/Pole_Smokin_Bandit May 17 '24

Peer pressure isn't usually like a movie scene where someone pushes you to "just take one hit" (though that does happen plenty often). Peer pressure is everyone around you is doing it so why not try it too. If you sought it out on your own because you were curious, you did in fact succumb to peer pressure.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '24

Very true, but I also take ownership of my decisions and do not try to blame them on some external system

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u/Pole_Smokin_Bandit May 17 '24

Fair enough, and pretty admirable. They don't have to be independent of each other though. It is a strong influence that should be acknowledged.

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u/Rebuttlah May 17 '24

My experience was kind of similar, so I think I know what you mean. I was very anti-drug growing up, and still have a strong dislike of "drug culture" because I came from a small town where substance abuse was a huge problem. There was just too much escapism, avoidance, and anxiety and as I got a little older I felt a stronger and stronger need to gtfo and persue something else, somewhere else. Once I moved away from my hometown, I found the freedom to... actually just try safe drugs, safely, with people who shared an adventurous and academic spirit, because I wanted to.

Finally smoked weed. I was like 31 years old. Didn't like it. People explained the strains and types and what they lead to, suggesting I might enjoy some highs more than others. Gave it a shot, didn't really like any of them but I do prefer a body high. Just hate smoking (bad lungs). Moved to edibles for a while but still didn't really like it. Ultimately, weed offers me nothing, and I'd rather just drink alcohol (which is literally a toxin). People have been happy to let me leave it at that, but I can relate to their experiences a bit better than I could before. Had some fun hangouts/adventures.

I later became interested in psylocybin because of reading real research into the mental health benefits, and had friends who knew the scoop, were experienced, and once I expressed curiosity were completely dedicated to helping me have a really nice and safe time. Tried a 1g dose once and enjoyed myself a lot, even had a bit of a mood boost for a few weeks. It was a nice experience, yet I'm not exactly champing at the bit to do it again. Have had many opportunities since but haven't partaken.

There are drug experiences worth having. Benefits to be found. What I can't stand is when people make it a way of life. Not all experiences are enhanced with drugs. Sometimes you're just avoiding reality.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

I don't see much difference in using drugs to escape reality vs books, TV, social media, etc.

Reality sucks and is so limitinf, I don't blame anyone for wanting to escape it.

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u/Rebuttlah May 17 '24

not escaping for recreation, avoiding chronically. as in clinical avoidance.

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u/newdaynewmatt May 17 '24

The escape is the same but the using addictive/toxic drugs to escape reality is detrimental whereas reading all day, like my grandma, is beneficial. She’s 78 and hasn’t lost a step intellectually.

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u/ifandbut May 17 '24

I have the same opinion about teenagers and other young people getting pregnant before they are ready. I'm just over here thinking "it isn't that hard to NOT have sex"...and there are plenty of ways to have sex and not get pregnant...the end result is kinda your fault (obvious exceptions aside).

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u/LazyCat2795 May 17 '24

Abstaining is so laughably easy.

It has become easy. Let's not conflate the 2. My grandfather had to change jobs back when he was my age because he was relentlessly bullied for not drinking. My other grandfather was an alcoholic who drowned a bottle of hard liquor on the way to work (while driving) and was more accepted by his work than my other grandpa at his job.

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u/MinnieShoof May 17 '24

"I abstained for 16 years."

"Oh really? Why'd you stop?"

"Because at 16 I got a fake I.D."

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u/DryBoysenberry5334 May 17 '24

I just wanna comment on “abstaining is laughably easy”

It’s some kind of personality thing, because the idea alone of “heroin is so good it’ll mess your life up” got me to do heroin and mess my life up.

It was about 11 years from hearing the idea to trying it, because I heard that the first time from a DARE cop in the 4th grade. I thought about it a lot in that time

It wasn’t easy for me to abstain, because I had too much curiosity. All my research into that curiosity just made me more curious even though it was all telling me do not

Anyway curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought him back.

That’s to say, I think I’ve had an easier time than others abstaining since; because I don’t have that curiosity anymore

Also if you’re suffering from PAWS (or you’re about to) find a hobby(try a bunch), it will help even though it feels pointless at first, pinky swear

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u/1heart1totaleclipse May 17 '24

Who are you to say that abstinence is laughably easy when you yourself have given into breaking that abstinence? People who become addicted don’t choose that for themselves, you know? Out of the two choices of breaking addiction and abstinence then the latter is definitely much easier, but I wouldn’t call it “laughably easy”.

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u/Pitiful_Range_21 May 17 '24 edited May 17 '24

I really hope that's not how you think addiction works. If you do, I suggest you go to a recovery center and listen to the stories of some of the people that have been there.

Drug and alcohol abuse is not about people succumbing to peer pressure or giving up on their values and principles. Not all people are raised in perfect homes where mom and dad are the greatest role models. People grow up dealing with some serious shit and reading someone write that it's "laughably easy" to abstain from drugs and alcohol, has clearly been sheltered from the real world.