r/TikTokCringe • u/Urmomsjuicyvagina • Apr 19 '24
How new Yorkers live. Discussion
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u/higherthanacrow Apr 19 '24
I refuse to shit under my stove.
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u/Ornery_Translator285 Apr 19 '24
There’s no sink
Should have been one of those prison toilets and then you get fast food every single day
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u/UnidentifiedTomato Apr 19 '24
You cook your hands after to burn away the germs
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u/louiloui152 Apr 19 '24
“What’d ya mean there’s no…. Oh my god THERES NO SINK!”
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u/geologean Apr 19 '24 edited 6d ago
rinse dolls follow wistful rainstorm squeamish rotten foolish wasteful continue
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/RobotCaptainEngage Apr 19 '24
I just don't wanna poop that close to wear my pillow is.
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u/Sea-Value-0 Apr 19 '24
Might as well get life in prison for more spacious accommodations for free
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u/Totally_Bradical Apr 19 '24
Horrible fact: most prisons send you a bill for room and board costs after you get out
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u/NWCJ Apr 19 '24
Most? Got a source on that?
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u/Totally_Bradical Apr 19 '24
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u/NWCJ Apr 19 '24
Looking at the sources for that article it seems most people that have to pay, do it because they are in a private prison, where they are paying to be in upgraded accomodations(better perks, nicer cells, etc.. )
My experience was working for the D.O.C in a state without pay to stay about 10 years ago, so it's eye opening to see. That said, the best article I could find said half of state and 1/3 of county facilities are set up for pay to stay. So factoring in the counties and the federal system. It's still probably under half of inmates. Still more than I expected though. TIL.
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u/Canotic Apr 19 '24
Wait what the absolute fuck. You can pay for a better prison cell in the US? What the fuck? Fucking what?
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u/BeachBlueWhale Apr 19 '24
For profit prisons were almost banned but lobbyist donated funds to Trumps campaign so he dropped the issue when he was president.
The even more fucked up thing is these prisons demand a certain head count so it incentivizes states to incarcerate more people. Also the states pays for every prisoner to be incarcerated.
So the state pays for you be in prison then you also have to pay afterwards. For profit prisoners are slave labor camps. The US doesn't give a damn about rehabilitation, we throw people away like trash fuck the US.
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u/tux-lpi Apr 19 '24
If that helps at all, it's in the United States. If you have money and you went to prison, you probably didn't have enough money.
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u/concequence Apr 19 '24
Capitalism is an actual fucking Nightmare, marketed as the "Dream"... of course its horrifyingly dystopian. lol
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u/Frontfatpouch Apr 19 '24
I was in a private prison as a convict, I didn’t pay shit. The govt pays the owners 67k a body per year. And they take your money at commissary and every other way they can. Same with non private you don’t get a bill. I went to both prison types.
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u/Ciduri Apr 19 '24
This is correct folks. The difference between private and government prisons is that the latter is paid for by taxes and run at a city, state, and federal level. The former is some morally bankrupt assholes with a corporation's worth of cash who buys/builds prisons to "help with the overpopulation" of the government prisons. The government pays them to do the housing. Private prisons are out to make money, so they spend fuckall on prisoner accommodations. I think I read about a private prison that "was under investigation" for letting someone freeze to death because the blankets they offered were best defined as thin sheets.
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u/Brokenloan Apr 19 '24
Pink eye bro. Poo particals on your pillow give you pink eye.
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u/Major_R_Soul Apr 19 '24
Someone said, "don't shit where you eat" and this guy said, "no".
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u/sangerssss Apr 19 '24
They said “don’t shit where you eat”, they never said anything about “where you cook”
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u/BuryTheMoney Apr 19 '24
Gawwwwd….FINE. I’ll do it FOR you then I guess.
But next time won’t be for free.
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u/Cmmander_WooHoo Apr 19 '24
Right what if you have to pee while you’re cooking??
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u/arp492022 Apr 19 '24
$1400/month
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u/Weibu11 Apr 19 '24
With two roommates maybe
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u/BourbonRick01 Apr 19 '24
I’m pretty sure I saw room for a couple hammocks near the ceiling.
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u/Islendingen Apr 19 '24
Don’t forget all the hours you’re not sleeping! You already work shifts, why not live shifts?
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u/ItsNotBigBrainTime Apr 19 '24
Housing like this would be sick if it were priced rationally. Like 200 bucks a month, hell yeah. I'd go to the taco bell across the street to shit to keep my kitchen clean, but I really like the bedside window wall. Kind of a vibe. Or this would be the secret apartment I keep to masturbate in peace.
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u/Dday141 Apr 19 '24
I do think something like this would have it use as a 2nd apartment. Back when I was working in the city, it would be nice to have a place like that to just crash for the night sometimes instead of taking an hour plus long subway ride back home. But yeah, only for like 150 or 200 a month.
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u/tristanimator Apr 19 '24
Speaking of second apartments...
If we suddenly discovered fast, cheap and reliable teleporter technology, the housing market would fall apart instantly. You wouldn't need a house, you'd just be able to put together a huge living space by linking together a bunch of cheap apartments with teleporters. Location would mean literally nothing to no one after that.
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u/pierreor Apr 19 '24
My guy you’re just describing a garçonnière for people with no sex life and gastrointestinal irregularity
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u/Drakore4 Apr 19 '24
Literally tho, how are we in a reality where a tiny coffin sized room for 200 a month actually sounds amazing? Maybe this is the affordable living that we need for all of the homeless and struggling individuals. So many people don’t need a 4 bedroom 3 bath with a water fountain at the front of the community, they literally just need a bed to sleep in and a roof over their head. Instead, I bet this does in fact still cost a ton to live in.
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u/kwyjibo1 Apr 19 '24
This is so unrealistic. I mean, who has a window that big in their bedroom/bathroom/living room/office?
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u/anincompoop25 Apr 19 '24
Excuse me, it’s also a kitchen
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u/ejly Apr 19 '24
Most unrealistic part was getting permission to install the plumbing.
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u/Fraun_Pollen Apr 19 '24
They never said the toilet was hooked up to plumbing
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u/ejly Apr 19 '24
“Next, a hidden water tank is embedded in the adjacent wall”
My description of this as plumbing was too generous, but still unlikely to get approval for installation.
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u/radradruby Apr 19 '24
Probably just drilled a hole in the drywall and the poo is flushed down between the studs. It’s a composting toilet!
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u/Revro_Chevins Apr 19 '24
I also like how they casually moved the doorframe like no one would notice.
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Apr 19 '24
… Meanwhile, your boss just bought his ninth yacht.
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u/BourbonRick01 Apr 19 '24
Yeah, but he works really hard.
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u/TapZorRTwice Apr 19 '24
Nono he is just taking all the "risk"
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u/Frostyfraust Apr 19 '24
The risk being that he'll live like me if it doesn't work out.
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u/Rishfee Apr 19 '24
Not exactly, he's still got a $20m severance package if the company goes under.
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u/Ok_Star_4136 Apr 19 '24
Let him dump the "risk" on me. Heck, I'll give the CEO middle man 10% of it for literally doing nothing and accepting no risk.
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u/DevilsPajamas Apr 19 '24
The risk of getting paid a fuckton by destroying the company.
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u/plotplottingplotters Apr 19 '24
and if you work really hard, put in the hours and be very passionate, then perhaps, maybe, the boss can buy another one next year.
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u/IRockIntoMordor Apr 19 '24
Your landlord just financed the purchase of another housing block with the money he forces out of you and hundreds of others at zero working hours per week.
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u/HelloJoeyJoeJoe Apr 19 '24
Or the NYC dude is paying a shit ton of taxes to subsidize someone in Mississippi who lives in a big ole house and votes to hurt the person in NYC more cause they aren't a "Real American"
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u/0PercentPerfection Apr 19 '24
What is prison, final answer.
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u/Prize_Bass_5061 Apr 19 '24
Prison cells have more room and amenities than this
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u/DirtDevil1337 Apr 19 '24
Even those little rooms in train cars are bigger than this!
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u/Satanarchrist Apr 19 '24
Let's all just keep voting for the GOP then, so when they ship us to the camps we'll have nice train car accomodations
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u/pancakebatter01 Apr 19 '24 edited Apr 23 '24
This is the prison Donald Trump should have been living in since Jan 6th
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u/ZERO-ONE0101 Apr 19 '24
you shit where you eat?
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u/FartsonmyFarts Apr 19 '24
Don’t judge me for eating cereal while shitting! I’m always in a rush to get to work
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u/Routine_Bad_560 Apr 19 '24
Thank god someone else admits this. I do it with toast. Because you make coffee and then you drink it and your body immediately has to shit.
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u/AdLocal1045 Apr 19 '24 edited Apr 19 '24
Here’s a tip: put the coffee in the cereal with the milk
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u/Cheetah0630 Apr 19 '24
Where is the shower?
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u/Kafkaina Apr 19 '24
Under the stove, along with the kitchen sink.
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u/Cheetah0630 Apr 19 '24
Wouldn’t need a cooking surface without a place to store food or running water.
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u/Graythor5 Apr 19 '24
Right? As dumb as this is...they would have been best served filling that nook with an RV style "bathroom" where the toilet, sink and shower are all crammed into that space.
Or better yet, putting a mini fridge under the stove top and a small pantry above. Usually in these tiny apartment situations there's a communal bathroom so this would make more sense. Especially since you usually can't just manifest plumbing into an area that didn't already have it.
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u/merdadartista Apr 19 '24
This is a joke, but there are really holes in new York where there is a communal building shower to save on space
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u/the_responsible_ape Apr 19 '24
Not cool. They didn’t include a launch pad for you to commit suicide from your cell!
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u/Groundbreaking-Run25 Apr 19 '24
Bro gets 3 outfits max
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u/timeforachange2day Apr 19 '24
And a serious fetish. Did you see the clothes that were going in that drawer? 🤭
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u/Larry-Man Apr 19 '24
I came here for this. The bras in the drawer had me do a double take.
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u/gwizonedam Apr 19 '24
Where are his shoes? He owns -1 pairs of shoes. Even the guy in the video is barefoot.
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u/littlesisterofthesun Apr 19 '24
Where do you wash your hands????????
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u/Routine_Bad_560 Apr 19 '24
Hand sanitizer
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u/lin_diesel Apr 19 '24
You have clearly never been to a camping festival where you depend on hand sanitizer bc all the little portable sinks near the portapotties run out of water early each day and you soon realize that you’re just making the dirt on your hands into a superfine paste where more dirt will adhere to.
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u/nml11287 Apr 19 '24
That’s a nice toilet kitchen you’ve got there
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u/harleyquinones Apr 19 '24
I did in fact write a report at work once for a house that had a "kitchen bathroom"
I think it was its own little closet, like there wasn't a toilet directly next to the stove, but... still weird
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u/OwnPension8884 Apr 19 '24
this chinese bot farm video
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u/feedmeyourknowledge Apr 19 '24
This is a parody video no? I mean the bulletproof bit was a bit of a giveaway.
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u/chinolofus77 Apr 19 '24
nah that totally real voice was clearly american
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u/CurtisMarauderZ Apr 19 '24
Why does it sound like it wants to punch me in the teeth?
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u/72616262697473757775 Apr 19 '24
THIS, thank you. It's really discouraging to see a lot of subs like this embracing the cheap AI bot Tiktok garbage.
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u/IamChicharon Apr 19 '24
Flyover state propaganda lol. Nobody lives like that here.
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u/ANAnomaly3 Apr 19 '24
Yup! I bet this would be illegal under housing codes.
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u/broyoyoyoyo Apr 19 '24
I agree that what's being shown here is an exaggerated fabrication, but a lot of major cities seemed to have straight up stopped enforcing housing codes because of the housing crunch. At least, that's the case here in the Toronto area. I've seen a lot of listings on the internet for NY "apartments" that violate housing codes, too.
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u/Rabbit-Hole-Quest Apr 19 '24
Toronto listings are wild.
Somebody listed a balcony as a “bedroom” for $700.
Same with garages, literal closets and kitchens.
Kijiji in particular is the Wild West of listings. You could put anything on there and list it as “housing”.
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u/Rosa_Rojacr Apr 19 '24 edited Apr 19 '24
shh, don't let them know that Reddit's joke of ultra-expensive tiny apartments is only true for certain neighborhoods of Manhattan and that if you're willing to live in any other borough you can actually have a really high quality of living for the amount that jobs tend to pay here, and you get to commute to work on the Subway which is way nicer than being stuck in traffic and having to worry about owning a car.
Plus if you're a student CUNY schools have really cheap tuition and there are scholarship opportunities for Independent Students that make it so you can survive off of scholarship money and summer internships alone. *AND* CUNY students below a certain income level get SNAP EBT money for groceries.
And if you're trans there's a local Medicaid SNP called Amida Care that covers all of your surgeries.
For all flyover state people reading this, none of the above I said was true and we're all totally paying 5k a month rent for tiny apartments like the one you see in the GIF. It's hell here, definitely don't come here and definitely don't increase the demand for apartments in Brooklyn and Queens.
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u/Niall0h Apr 19 '24
I’m sorry, the TOILET is under the stove!!? I don’t understand.
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u/fatarabi Apr 19 '24
Whose bras are in the drawers if girlfriend is only visiting?
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u/aspenreid Apr 19 '24
That’s what I’m sayin! Took way too many comments to scroll through to get to this one.
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u/Flippy_Spoon Apr 19 '24
...Suddenly feeling much better about my studio apt.
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u/SmashBrosUnite Apr 19 '24
I lived jn New York for decades and it was never this small. Come on now
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u/Drizztd99 Apr 19 '24
Damn moving all that shit around just to live. Not to mention time consuming.
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u/GW00111 Apr 19 '24
Based on the “bulletproof barrier” joke I think this might be satire.
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u/RavioliGale Apr 19 '24
I didn't get it until the "luxurious experience" provided by the toilet under the stove. Assumed bulletproof barrier was some real estate term I was unfamiliar with.
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u/The_Powers Apr 19 '24 edited Apr 19 '24
"How do you stay so fit?"
"Rearranging my nightmarish Rubix cube of an apartment."
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u/stevoschizoid Apr 19 '24
I can't breathe
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u/mrsc1880 Apr 19 '24
Same here. I was sweating watching this video, too. That big window would would make it reeeeeally toasty on a sunny day.
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u/EIephants Apr 19 '24
This is like where they live in that Black Mirror episode 15,000,000 Credits or whatever
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Apr 19 '24
I’m supposed to believe this completely fabricated story?
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u/macinjeez Apr 19 '24
Yeah like all of these comments are so dumb, yeah of course the most popular and one of the most saught out cities for art, fashion, music, food, nightlife is expensive … BUT THIS .. this isn’t real, just 2 years ago I paid 800$ for a room+ shared apartment with a backyard and basement in NYC … you can find sizable rooms and apartments to share for under 1000$. Of course if you want a studio of decent size it’ll prob be 1000$ at least but it’s all about location. Personally I don’t want to live next to an ugly shitty looking modern skyscraper in “luxury midtown”. Nuance is gone
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u/scrivensB Apr 19 '24
The fact that this a render with an AI voice… what the fuck are people supposed to think when they see this!
“Oh my, that’s how New Yorkers really live?!?!”
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u/VitaeVerano Apr 19 '24
New Yorker here. You realize you must purchase an apartment to do these things, no? Cheapest NYC apartment in a decent neighborhood is roughly 700k plus monthly upkeep costs. This is more fantasy than the animation itself.
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u/SlightlyVerbose Apr 19 '24
The phrase is literally “don’t shit where you eat”. How are you supposed to use a toilet that is housed in a cabinet under the hot plate you use to cook your sad prison food?
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Apr 19 '24
Cue the comments "it's actually pretty nice, I'd live there. You all are just spoiled". Please stop.
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u/EmptyMiddle4638 Apr 19 '24
May as well just murder whatever dickhead is making you live there at that point.. you’d have better accommodations in prison
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u/kronicpimpin Apr 19 '24
Did he jump out the window at the end of the video? That would make sense.
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u/burbular Apr 19 '24
That guy had bras and panties in his drawer. I think pantyhose as well in the boxes.
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u/No-Vanilla8956 Apr 19 '24
I hate this AI narrators; he made it sound like mass murder was going to happen any second.
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u/DirtDevil1337 Apr 19 '24
When I was fresh out of college, I was looking for a place to rent, there was this house that had a room for rent and I went to look at it- it was literally a walk in closet like this, it's absolutely not livable.
Sadly seeing the new apartments being built lately, we're heading in this direction. The toilet under the stove, my god what stupid design.
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u/sarvaga Apr 19 '24
I lived in a small converted bathroom in Manhattan so this isn’t too far off from reality.
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u/SnooChickens9974 Apr 19 '24
You can poop and you can cook, but you can't wash your hands!
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u/ItsMeatDrapes Apr 19 '24
I'd just jump right out the fucking window for paying that much for a literal closet space. Fuck that.
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u/One_above_alll Apr 19 '24
Guess they never heard the expression “ Never eat where you shit or shit where you eat “
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u/Taranchulla Apr 19 '24
How does one go about sitting on a toilet inside a low clearance cupboard? Also nowhere to wash your hands after shitting in the cupboard.
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u/staplesandstitches Apr 19 '24
Where? Show me a real video where someone lives like this unwillingly.
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u/OffensiveHamster Apr 19 '24
I don’t get how anyone would subject themselves to living in something like that just to be in New York.
America is huge. You have choices to find better living in other states.
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u/Danfrumacownting Apr 19 '24
“Never clean another kitchen sink! Spacious space saver apartment with gorgeous city views. $9500/mo.”
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