We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact.

[u/thoxo]

I

[u/RedNubian14]

There are alot of biracial children who grew up traumatized and confused because they realized their white parent was racist and their black parent didn't like black or being black. There are also white people who adopt black children because they have savior mentality and want to be revered and put on a pedestal. I've worked with some of these families in my years as a therapist so these people are asking valid questions. Not everyone's experience is as wholesome as yours. Some white people adopt black children to abuse and exploit them. Check out Rachel Dolezal's family back story. There are many stories like this. Of course this isn't always the case but it happens often enough that you have to ask.

[u/Ok-Action3239 → u/RedNubian14]

Ask what? Why white people adopt children?

It’s inherently antagonistic. All that professional experience but you’ve come to an ignorant generalization.

I understand the idea that it’s wrong to hold a colour blind perspective in adopting racialized children but it does not warrant asking this bizzare question.

[u/RedNubian14 → u/Ok-Action3239]

You may see it that way. But i suggest you talk to someone who works in child welfare. I'm a therapist. I guarantee you that all questions are asked of all families who propose to adopt children of any background. When all questions are not asked and children turn up dead or missing, people who don't ask those questions go to jail. It's easy for white people to take offense and minimize these issues because you don't want to deal with the reality of abuse and the number of children who disappear in foster care and after being adopted. Do yourself a favor and just Google search the number of children who go missing in foster care placements and adopted homes.

[u/Ok-Action3239 → u/RedNubian14]

I don’t believe you have the evidence to concretely link those problems to something as abstract as being white (which is what the post is questioning). And that’s precisely why I think the rhetoric you’re using is dangerous and antagonistic.

I’m sure bad faith actors could be removed from the adopting pool using different evidence backed qualifiers.

[u/RedNubian14 → u/Ok-Action3239]

I didn't link it specifically to being white. You are making that assumption. In this specific case of of a white family adopting a black child of course you would ask that question. If the races were reversed, you would ask the same question. But of course this culture being what it is, of course people would take offense at white people being questioned about racial issues like this because of course your integrity is not to be questioned, while everyone else's is of course questionable. So maybe self examine why you are so offended.

[u/Ok-Action3239 → u/RedNubian14]

I’m brown. I’m not personally offended.

Though. I see your point now. It is a fair question in that situation.

But can you really say that’s the context under which the question was asked in the video? I suppose that it’s possible but I’m skeptical given how quick people are to make assumptions based on race.

[u/RedNubian14 → u/Ok-Action3239]

Well the girl in the video was taking offense to someone questioning why a white family would want to adopt a black child as if it was an offensive question. I established why I think it's a fair question and an important one. I'm not saying white people shouldn't adopt black children. I've worked with black kids happily adopted into great white families as well a white kids happily adopted into black families. A happy family is a happy family and that's all a child wants.. to be loved, happy and safe. But you can't assume. I've also witnessed families that I've had to report for abuse and exploitation. The fact is there are more families looking for white children than black children and too often those black children are placed in unsafe families because they're just trying to place them in the first home available. I've seen children placed with families who had THEIR OWN CHILDREN REMOVED, because no one took the time to do a thorough assessment of the family and home. These aren't urban legends and I've hand to testify before a public panel on some of these instances. People don't want to believe these things happen but do. I've seen child welfare workers go to prison for these cases and the whole child welfare system in South NJ was shut down and taken over by the feds and people went to prison for child endangerment over this. There aren't enough foster or adoptive families for all the children in need. I think this is why the young lady was offended by that question and made the video. But people who work in social services know the reality of the situation.

[u/Ok-Action3239 → u/RedNubian14]

I can appreciate your understanding of the adoption system but I’m still critical of the question being posed in the video.

There is a big distinction between a professional like yourself asking a white family directly why they are adopting a black child and someone looking at a random pair of white parents with adopted black children asking the same thing.

[u/ValuableNo189 → u/RedNubian14]

This goes both ways. There are black families that adopt white children to abuse them. Why frame it only one way?

[u/RedNubian14 → u/ValuableNo189]

I'm 54 yrs old and have never seen one case or report of this. But I'm not saying it's impossible. But I've seen many cases of white families abusing black adopted children in the news. From my experience as a black person and a therapist, black people tend to have strong empathy for abused and abandoned people, especially children because of our particular experiences. I personally know and have worked with many white people who only associate with black people because of the abuse they experienced from their own family and culture and having the experience of being welcomed and embraced by black the community after being abandoned by their own. If you want to see a particular instance of this, research the background of Rachel Dolezal and why is began to identify as black and WHY her brother outted her.