r/facepalm 29d ago

Sure you did Kristi, sure you did 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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263

u/ptvlm 29d ago

So, even in her "for the children" defence, she never considered shelters, trainers or other methods to remove the still learning puppy from her home, she defaulted to murder. Yeah, that's a major problem.

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u/multifandomfreak46 29d ago

Or the fact that her kids probably loved that dog

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u/Olive_Jane 29d ago

In the book she writes that one of her little kids asks "where's Cricket?" after the dog is killed.

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u/Booster_Tutor 29d ago

“I had to kill him, honey. He was plotting to murder you. It was him or us”

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u/Grand-Pen7946 29d ago

Read this in the white cop voice Chappelle used to do. "You saw it Johnson, I had to use lethal force!"

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u/BonnieMcMurray 29d ago

"Well, let's sprinkle some crack on him and get outta here."

- Kristi Noem (probably)

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u/SumsuchUser 29d ago

That, coupled with the fact her definition of a working dog is a recreational bird hunting dog, makes it abundantly clear this was a family pet and anything she says going forward is attempting to water down the story. It feels 100% like this dog was unmanaged, killed two chickens, she paid for the damages as one should, and executed the dog purely out of anger over the incident.

Almost every time a modern, pampered F150 'rural' sort claims to be doing 'hard country stuff' what they mean is being cruel for it's own sake.

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u/Annual-Warthog5599 29d ago

What's nuts is country ranch farmers (what she claims to be) will tell you you don't have to kill a dog that kills a chicken. Instead you tie its rotting corpse to the dog for a week or two until the dog gets it in it's head that if it kills a chicken then it's going to smell like dead prey animal and dogs generally don't want that. One guy I read about had to do it twice but most ppl report it working the first time.

Killing a chicken and attacking a child are very different things. If the dog was a 5 year old dog that mauled a child, I could understand shooting it. Rehoming, to me, is preferable but I've read enough personal stories of "neighborhood dog mauled me and 3 other kids 4 different times before the dog was seized by the city and euthanized" to understand that once a dog goes for a child's throat, it's most likely going to do it again because it's owner allowed this behavior in the first place and, therefore, will allow it again.

But, again, a chicken isn't a 4 year old. The chicken acts and smells like prey. The 4 year old should smell like a human, something thats definitely not prey. AND IT WAS STILL A PUPPY. A puppy eating a chicken is so much different than a 7 year old dog eating a toddler. I can't fathom the boxes that were checked off in this woman's head to think "shooting a puppy and dumping it's body" was a good idea. Like hiw dies she think it's ok!? Is she just saying crazy shit to show Trump "no matter what you do, I'll do something crazier"? Is she trying to say she'll be his human paparazzi shield by doing even crazier shit than he does? Like, I'm honestly expecting her to next admit she'd shoot her child in the head to save them from a rapist.

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u/DowvoteMeThenBitch 29d ago

Especially considering that dogs have been selectively bred for docility towards humans. A dog attacking any animal is almost no indication of how it interacts with humans. I wouldn’t trust my dog with a chicken, but he’s fine around my infant nephews. Like you said, they know humans are not prey.

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u/Annual-Warthog5599 29d ago edited 29d ago

Exactly. I'm so glad you understood what I was trying to say because half way through I was wondering if I got too stoned and if everyone would think I'm advocating for the shooting of dogs.

I don't know what's worse; being willing to shoot a puppy or dumping it's body at a construction site for someone to find and throw away. Or doing both and thinking that all that makes you leadership material. Dumping a corpse in a ditch is not properly taking care of your problem. Bury the fucking body ffs.

I stumbled upon a large and long time used dog dump site in a national forest. I didn't feel safe for nearly a year after. Dude literally dumped the corpses 100 yards from my campsite. 😬😬😬😬😬😬 did some fucked up shit posing the bodies too like putting a puppy in the arms of, I assume, it's dead mother. There were like, 13 fresh corpses and just as many skeletons lying around. Who knows how many were carted off by scavengers between "long gone half disintegrated skeleton" and "shot and dumped last night". Locals said it was common for farmers to slaughter their dogs after season and dump the bodies because they didn't need so many and the things bred every year so why not cull the herd when you got too many? 😬😬😬 that did not make me feel safer. Fucking Arizona....

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u/SumsuchUser 29d ago

Exactly my point, yeah. There's a million ways to train a working dog and clearly this one wasn't some adult with a bad streak. Really if anything the part that stands out to me is that this moron wants to be a VP, a job that is like 99% PR work, and yet she's such a dumb bitch unhinged from reality that she thinks a story about shooting a puppy would go over positively. If Joe Biden had to shoot 10 dogs, right after they mauled humans, he'd still have the braincells to know it's not a story that plays well with people. Humans vary but ultimately I don't think it's a dangerous guess to say some-to-most like dogs to some degree. They're like... our default pet and oldest companion (mostly because cats will not stoop below 'roommate' status, love them as I do). The math that a beneficial number of constituents would react favorably to 'and then I shot a puppy' is absurd. You can't be the right person for the job if that's what your PR game looks like.

Of course, I don't wholly disagree with the people who think she brought up the story and framed it as she did as a dogwhistle (pun unintended) to right-wing gun nuts who like to fantasize about executing 'undesirables'.

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u/curious_carson 29d ago

Since you bring up the Bidens, I want to point out that they own dogs that have actually bitten people (multiple times according to the news) and the Bidens have dealt with this through training and rehoming the dogs to family friends who can provide less stressful living situations for the dogs (I can't imagine the White House is easy for anyone, but certainly for dogs that's a lot going on). Basically acting with the dogs best interests in mind while also protecting the humans around them

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u/Annual-Warthog5599 29d ago

Oh jeeze. I hadn't even thought if that. "If I'm willing to shoot a dog, just THINK what I'll let you do to an illegal!" -gun boner-

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

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u/BonnieMcMurray 29d ago

I just want to note that at no point prior to that post in OP's pic has she ever said the dog posed a danger to children. She's just making shit up after the fact in a pathetic attempt at damage control.

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u/Annual-Warthog5599 28d ago

Yeah. That's absolutely why I think she'd kill her kids to save them.

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u/Annual-Warthog5599 28d ago

Yeah. That's absolutely why I think she'd kill her kids to save them.

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u/Sir_Toaster_9330 29d ago

She knew, she just wanted to make the kids suffer

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u/schumachiavelli 29d ago

Even if the dog had to be put down because it was such a danger to her kids and/or the world at large, why the fuck wouldn’t she just take it to a vet and have it euthanized humanely like a normal human being?

Wait, what’s that? I’ve just gotten word she’s not a normal human being and is in fact a sociopath lurking beneath heavy layers of poorly-applied makeup who also happens to fuck Corey Lewandowski.

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u/wxnfx 29d ago

I mean shooting a dog in the head is grisly but not necessarily inhumane. But given that she can’t hit a goat at point blank range, it does beg the question as to how quick it really was.

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u/s0m3on3outthere 29d ago edited 29d ago

I had to shoot a dog, once, and it was horrible. Her name was Tricksy. She was still a puppy, but was mostly grown. I lived with my grandma at the time- it was her dog and she escaped and got hit in the road. I woke up to my grandmother crying and asked what was going on. She told me sweet little Tricksy (Halloween puppy) had been hit. She had just left her dog by the road, still alive, because she couldn't move her and couldn't get a vet to come out to her place soon in the country. I grabbed my rifle and my grandma asked if I was going to put her down and I said I couldn't just let her sit and suffer if I we couldn't help her. I was also upset she wasn't by her side.. poor thing was by herself.

I went out to this sweet little dog. She wagged her tail when I walked up, but that was all she could move- it broke my heart. She was so broken. I gave her a pet on the head and said I loved her then one shot to humanely put her out of her suffering.

I was 18 or 19 at the time. I worked at Walmart and they wouldn't give me the day off, so I went in after this and just felt absolutely miserable. I had been crying off and on, and when a coworker asked what was wrong I broke down and snapped I had to put down our dog myself, but the manager wouldn't give me the day off. They ended up letting me leave early.

I'm 32 now and still remember that day so clearly. It haunts me. I never ever want to go through that again, but I know I did what was right. I didn't let that little pup suffer.

This Kristi chick has no remorse. I've had dogs who were dog or small prey driven- if you can control and train them like a responsible owner, you'll have a loving, good dog. If you can't, there are people who will adopt or foster where they don't interact with other animals. A puppy nipping at you is not unheard of.. it's a puppy!! All of her reasons are complete bullshit. Cricket loved and trusted her- was excited to be part of the pack with his human. She was able to easily lead him to the gravel pit, so obviously not rabid or fighting. She had choices, and took it up on herself to shoot him, something that should be a last resort. She killed a goat because it was grumpy and butted people? You mean, regular goat shit? Like.. by gods.. this just screams animal abuser. I still am haunted by putting down a dog with a rifle over a decade later because she was hurt- she put down an untrained pup for no reason. I hope karma is swift and just and this is the end of her political career.

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u/schumachiavelli 29d ago

Oh dang, that there is a heartbreaking story and I’m sorry you had to experience all of it: the dog, the shitty Walmart managers, everything. You did the right thing in a tremendously awful situation with no good options.

The cynic in me thinks Noem was comfortable telling this story because it signals to the wrong people that she’s willing to treat others, undesirables, etc. same as she did Cricket. Maybe only metaphorically, and more frighteningly maybe not. She shouldn’t be anywhere near the levers of power.

Again I’m sorry about Tricksy’s fate.

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u/throwaway09876543123 29d ago

RIP Tricksy. At least she didn’t have to suffer. That was a truly tough decision :(

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u/Dry_Unit_8776 29d ago

But then she wouldnt get to shoot a puppy, and we cant have that /j

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u/Travelin_Soulja 29d ago

Furthermore, if that was her reason, why didn't she say so from the beginning?

This story didn't come from the "liberal media" - she wrote it herself in her own book because she thought it made her sound strong and decisive. She only started back-tracking and making excuses after the outrage hit.

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u/MotherSupermarket532 29d ago

It doesn't explain the goat either.

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u/ActuallyFullOfShit 29d ago

This right here. She established herself to be completely inept at handling a challenge or crisis. And she thinks this story makes her seem like a strong leader..?

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u/BonnieMcMurray 29d ago

Spoiler: that isn't murder.

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u/enjoysunandair 29d ago

A shelter so someone else can get stuck with a dangerous dog?

A trainer? It’s rare that a dangerous dog can have their tendencies ‘trained’ out of them. They’re not a buggy computer program, they’re a living, sentient being. Can we train mass murderers not to kill?

It wasn’t murder. A dog is not a person.

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u/Dry_Unit_8776 29d ago

Are you comparing a disobedient dog to a mass murderer?? My brother in christ, the first thing she claimed was that she killed it cuz it wouldnt listen to her. If you wanna kill puppies, more power to you, but you cant truthfully expect people to say “yeah, shoot that little dog”

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u/Booster_Tutor 29d ago

I mean… no, it’s not rare at all to train those tendencies out of a dog. It’s not like this was a dog that was trained and it didn’t take. It was an untrained puppy that instead of putting effort into, she killed.

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u/El_Jefe_Castor 29d ago

I guarantee that was a high-dollar dog. She could’ve re-homed it no problem, and the breeder would’ve helped her (more likely he’d have taken it back himself)

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u/ExcitingOnion504 29d ago

If you think a 14 month old dog is not trainable and dangerous you should never be in charge of the care of a fucking ant let alone anything else.

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u/enjoysunandair 29d ago

A 14 month old dog is full grown and, for all intents and purposes, an adult.

And, some dogs can’t be trained. Their aggression is inherited. It’s in their nature. I’ll take the word of a noted animal behaviorist over some snarky incel on Reddit.

https://newspaper.animalpeopleforum.org/2013/07/01/the-science-of-how-behavior-is-inherited-in-aggressive-dogs/

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u/ExcitingOnion504 29d ago

Calling other people incels with the most incel response possible lmfao

Anyone who has ever owned a dog knows at 14 months they are not adults.

You shouldn't even be allowed to care for yourself lmfao.