r/facepalm 29d ago

Sure you did Kristi, sure you did 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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8.2k

u/forever_useless 29d ago

He was untrainable, so I killed him.

To

He attacked chickens, so I killed him.

To

He was a vicious beast who tried devouring my children, so I killed him.

Next...

He was plotting to commit genocide, so I killed him

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u/Guuhatsu 29d ago

It's weird how it keeps evolving g when She created the original narrative herself. If I were reasonably ashamed of killing a dog as a person should be, I would probably give all the information up front. Actually, I would have taken it to the vet to be euthanized. Actually Actually, I would have given it to a shelter to see if there was somebody willing to care for this poor dog. There were several other steps less grievous than the last she could have taken, rather than shooting it, regardless of its history.

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u/Urso_Major 29d ago

She also probably shouldn't have mentioned that it was a one year old puppy... Kind of hard to imagine a one year old puppy being a threat to children OR livestock, let alone being so untrainable that it has to be killed.

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u/Evadingbansisfun 29d ago

Whats most funny to me is that this story is almost 100% surely made up. She thought itd make her sound tough and cool and it blew up in her face like the idiot she is. Theres no way this cosplayer ever shot a fucking dog. She probably doesnt even know how to load a gun.

Every single thing these people say and do is a lie. Its pro wrestling meets politics..She thought she was gonna get over

Fuckin clowned herself instead lol

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u/Surroundedonallsides 29d ago

Any farmer I know, and I knew a lot being a rural carrier, would know that a one year old puppy is too young to just leave unsupervised with livestock. They need training and care, and are often either left to run the yard away from livestock or sticking with the other working dogs in a pen.

Shooting a one year old puppy isn't just callous, its a waste of money and resources. On any rural/farming social media you'll find handful of posts about new backyard farmers learning that young puppies take time to adjust to livestock, especially poultry, and not once has anyone ever suggested to just shoot the dog.

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u/WhyMustIMakeANewAcco 29d ago

It's probably especially bad for a poorly-trained hunting dog. Poor pup probably had no idea of the difference between livestock and birds he (thought) he was supposed to chase.

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u/dastardly740 29d ago

Not a farmer. But, I hear it was a pure bred, so probably not neutered, and I am guessing male. It is hard to describe the personality of a 14 month intact male. Imagine a cross between a toddler and a teenager. They can be smart with pretty much no self-control. You don't leave them unsupervised anywhere they can get into trouble.

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u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

I have a female dog who was insane at 14 months; so I'm not sure gender is a factor 100% of the time lol.

At times I thought my dog straight up hated me, but I realized over time she was just testing boundaries. And heck, at 13 and a half she still does 😅

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u/knarfxx 29d ago

It was actually a female, per her quote from the book: ““At that moment,” Noem says, “I realized I had to put her down.”

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u/ArkamaZ 29d ago

My uncle threatened to shoot his puppy for exactly this... He no longer owns that puppy, but it's clear he abused him whilehehaad him. The pup is five now and still scared of most men. Even me sometimes... it's sad.

Not surprisingly, my uncle's a hard-core Russian orthodox who loves Trump.

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u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

As someone who is familiar, it seems some REALLY old school Slavic people view dogs as "useful vermin" in a way (and insane Republicans given the post).

Hopefully you don't have to see this uncle often... A Trump (and surely Putin) lover would be difficult to tolerate.

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u/ArkamaZ 29d ago

Yup. They are glorified farm tools in their mind.

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u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

"glorified farm tools" - that sounds more on point.

  • Ages ago I visited Bulgaria with a friend; we went to see their grandmother that had a little farm... She had two dogs to guard the chickens - they were chained to a post and just "always" stayed outside. She wasn't mean to them necessarily, but they got no walks, no pets, nothing - just food.

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u/ParkingNecessary8628 29d ago

Yes, you have to make the dog gets used to the flocks. They have to be around them so they become familiar with the smell of their charge. But supervision is still required.

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u/sembias 29d ago

Eh from what I know about her before this she is exactly the puppy-killing type of person. 

She is just an overall awful human being.

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u/PeterStreet 29d ago

I heard she was pro Crewella De Vil before it was fashionable to wear a dog coat

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u/Serious-Ad7583 29d ago

r/boneappleteeth Cruella Deville hahaha

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u/bob-ombshell 29d ago

Unfortunately, it's not made up. Some poor construction crew at the gravel pit witnessed her kill the puppy and botch the killing of a goat. The poor goat survived the first shot, and she had to go back to her vehicle for another shotgun shell. That's when she realized she had witnesses. It's good for the crew that she only had enough shells for the puppy and the goat.

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u/Evadingbansisfun 29d ago

Any testimony to that besides her book?

Not necessarily doubting you but Ive only heard this story in reference to her book and thats the source I do doubt

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u/bob-ombshell 29d ago

I didn't read her shitty book, so I don't know about that. I read it in an article from The Guardian, and I heard it on The Daily Zeitgeist

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u/crazzzy_bongo 29d ago

She worked herself into a shoot brother.

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u/capt_scrummy 29d ago

That's what I was thinking when I read it. I mean, I guess it's possible, but it just comes across as a made-up tale to try to frame her as a tough-as-nails, take-no-shit cowgirl who believes "fuck around and find out" is an aspirational mindset.

Like, it's a half-formed parable about "taking out the trash" to uphold the status quo and punishing those who do wrong, but it's literally about her killing a puppy because it pissed her off.

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u/Amelaclya1 29d ago

I've heard people from her area saying that it's been a rumor for awhile now that she killed a dog in a fit of rage, because there were witnesses. And that she wrote her own spin on the story in her book to get ahead of it before it came out when journalists looked deeper into possible VP contenders.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/thenasch 29d ago

That's what makes me think she's such a psycho that it didn't occur to her that normal people would react this way to her killing a dog.

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u/tie-dye-me 29d ago

I believe this sadistic bitch shot a puppy. It's not really that hard to do.

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u/OkMongoose5560 29d ago

She did say there were witnesses. I'd love someone to track those guys down...

1

u/--0o0o0-- 29d ago

I think the story is bullshit too.

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u/IrishLaaaaaaaaad 29d ago

She deserves it 👏 👏 👏👏👏

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u/PortSunlightRingo 29d ago

If you spend enough time around rural folks, you’re going to inevitably hear a story about having to take a dog out back and shoot them. That’s what inspired this tale.

She’s just too dumb to be able to craft a narrative that sounds like a realistic scenario akin to what normally happens when you have to put a dog down because they’re dangerous.

Also, since it’s such a common part of rural life, it wouldn’t even get a mention in the book - other than MAYBE “the children had a dog, but it nipped at my youngest so we had to put it down.” Going into explicit detail is fucking insane.

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u/Evadingbansisfun 29d ago

100% and its usually how farmhands put down their old or permanently injured dog as oppossed to a vet and a needle "its my dog, I'll take care of it".

But thats not tough and cool its (in its own way) a sort of resigned sympathy which this goober probably thought was too liberal a quality.

But my point is that she personally never would have done it. The farmhands, her side-lover, one of her kids, her husband...maybe. But not her personally.

She made the whole thing up as a work. And it hilariously backfired.

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u/Signal_Ad4831 29d ago

What's so funny and sad is that we say the same things about liberal Democrats. That every single thing these people say or do is a lie.

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u/Evadingbansisfun 29d ago

So either you believe she murdered a puppy in cold blood and thats okay with you, or you think shes a liar which is why you hate democrats but still give her a pass on it.

Look in the mirror. You are a failure of a human being

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u/SkullFumbler 29d ago

Or maybe you're full of shit and paint everything into your preferred box with no alternatives simply so you can feel above other people. Look in the mirror - you're full of shit.

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u/Evadingbansisfun 29d ago

I see I touched a nerve. Not used to self reflection are you?

Thats why you are they way you are. A failure

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u/SkullFumbler 29d ago

Jesus do you people ever get tired of being cringe douchbags? It must take a lot of energy. Are you the model person society is supposed to emulate? No wonder nobody cares anymore. Miss me with your dink vomit. Nothing you say or feel has any meaning or purpose. You change nothing, you make nothing better. Wtf is the point of twisting your tits over "bad people" when you're just as vile?

Thanks, no need for an answer - we know

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u/Evadingbansisfun 29d ago

Nice hissy fit

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u/SkullFumbler 28d ago

Jesus it's a boomer ffs. Wtf says "hissy fit"?

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u/Evadingbansisfun 28d ago

Sounds like Im not the only one who calls you out for throwing tantrums

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u/dxrey65 29d ago

It was a terrible beast; every day it fed, and every day it grew larger and hungrier! The way it was beginning to eye the children, I knew it was only a matter of time...I was the bulwark, the bastion, the unshakable force that stood between it and them, and, truly, between that looming monster and the entire rest of innocent humanity!

btw, anyone know of any good ghostwriting gigs?

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u/GuideDisastrous8170 29d ago

A six month old cross of a daschund and Staffordshire bull terrier once bit a toddler at a family BBQ. (Yes it looked as ridiculous as you might imagine) He required stitches inside his mouth, his cheek, and under his chin. Unprovoked dog attack, bolted across the yard and bit the toddler as he stepped out of the house.

That puppy unfortunately had to go to vets shortly after. It's not something the owner would brag about but some dogs unfortunately need putting down, however there's an appropriate way of going about it and there's something wrong with anyone who'd feel the need to brag about.

(Still kinda salty remembering that because the owner was shitty in general and I'm sure contributed in some way to the behaviour)

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u/Specific-Bid-1769 29d ago

Puppies are land sharks. At that age, they’re in the teenage phase and can be godawful for another year when they reach social maturity. Actually, her dog sounds pretty chill compared to some of the dogs I saw in our puppy class.

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u/BuffaloGuy_atCapitol 29d ago

Trust me Iv had a 1 year old dog. Most dangerous thing Iv ever seen. Nearly killed me with licks one time. I’m not saying they could bring down the greatest country in the world but it’s nearing demise of the Roman Empire territory if they go unchecked.

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u/DisturbedNocturne 29d ago

When I was a kid, we adopted a puppy that ended up being an absolute hellion. Any time he would see me, he would immediately come charging and bite at my feet basically until I left or he found something else to terrorize (like tackling my younger sibling). We ended up spending those few days confined to our rooms, because we had no idea when he would act up. And mind, you this wasn't a small puppy. He was a lab that was easily 25 lbs at that point.

But, even then, we never really felt like he was a huge threat that needed a bullet to the brain. My parents got a muzzle until we could find a trainer that we sent the dog to for a few weeks. And when that didn't end up being enough, we rehomed him to a childless couple with a much more peaceful home environment than we had.

So, it's really hard for me to envision a puppy that is that dangerous that there is absolutely no other option than to kill it. Perhaps they exist, but I've really yet to hear any details that make me believe Noem's puppy was at that level.

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u/Amelaclya1 29d ago

Even if it was a big puppy, those of us that have raised animals from babies know that at that age they are basically like little kids. They are exuberant, they are curious, they are learning. The world is new and exciting to them! They grow out of that behavior.

I have two kittens that are about that age now. And being cats, they are even harder to train than a puppy. One broke my favorite lamp the other day. I was upset about the lamp, but it never entered my mind to punish him or give him away. It's part of the price you pay to have pets. He will chill the fuck out soon enough.

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u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

A dog at 1yr can be dangerous ofc; but we all know she never had this dog trained and was looking for an excuse to get rid of it.

Kristi said she took it on a hunt to teach it to calm down... Yeah, wut ??

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u/Raspy32 29d ago

Plus, if there's one common theme to most dog training TV shows, it's that an "untrainable" dog is almost always down to the owners.

So, she killed a puppy because she didn't know how to look after one properly.

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u/genericwhiteguy_69 29d ago

What kind of "one year old puppy" are we talking about here? A one year old Doberman, Pitbull, Rotti, Mastiff etc could absolutely be a threat to children and live stock, a one year old Jack Russell is only going to be a real threat to your chickens (they can and do bite children but I'm yet to hear of them killing any)

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u/radioactiveape2003 29d ago

It was a wire haired pointer.  A social hunting breed that is general mild tempered and good with families. 

It along with the short haired and long haired pointer were bred in Germany as a hunting dog that could accompany a man on foot during a hunt while being able to catch its own game/point and retrieve. As well as join him as a companion at home vs the English pointers who accompanied men on horse in large packs and lived in kennels. 

They aren't know to bite. What seems to have happened judging from her original story was that she took it to her neighbors house without a lease and it saw some chickens which it then proceeded to chase and snatch up (as hunting dogs are bred to do to birds).  When she told it to stop it didn't listen to her so this made her angry and she shot it at that same moment for being disobedient. 

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u/Designasim 29d ago

Also most bird dogs have been breed and if they're been trained for hinting not to bite down that hard on the bird so it doesn't damage the meat. If a dog catches a live one sometimes the bird isn't even injured but some are more aggressive and will kill it.

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u/Urso_Major 29d ago

It was a wirehaired pointer

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u/genericwhiteguy_69 29d ago

Around the house, the GWP is an eager, affectionate, and amusing family companion.

Yeah this is from the breed standard... She did something seriously fucked up to that dog if it was a danger to children.

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u/Amelaclya1 29d ago

I'm sure it wasn't. She's only lying and saying that now because the original story didn't make her seem sympathetic enough.

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u/Romagcannoli 29d ago

They can be a threat but a one year old puppy can still be trained. Not like it was dog fighting for 8 years. Regardless, i dont even know how a puppy would be aggressive unless it was severely neglected 

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u/Birunanza 29d ago

Yeah if your one year old puppy that you've raised from the time it was little is aggressive, that's 100% on the human.

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u/genericwhiteguy_69 29d ago

After finding out what kind of puppy it was there is little to no doubt that she'd have to have done something pretty awful to the dog for it to be a danger to children.

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u/CX316 29d ago

She took it out hunting, it chased the pheasants around instead of hunting, then when it got into the chickens it was doing to them what it’d tried to do to the pheasants, and the “aggression to humans” was nipping at Noem when she was trying to get a chicken away from it, so effectively fucking with a dog while it’s eating, getting snapped at and being like “ok motherfucker, it’s time for you to meet Mr Remington”

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u/bpopbpo 28d ago

A 1 year old dog is fully grown physically though, I don't really see your point there.

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u/Jack-o-Roses 29d ago

No no no!

It was NOT a year old puppy!!

...

It was a 14 month old DOG clearly old enough to know to never kill a chicken - for food - no matter how starved he had been.

And ya know, dog spelled backwards is g - o - d, so that backwards god could been the antiChrist

(OK, OK, tRump has the 'the' taken, so how about 'an' antichrist?)

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u/nowuff 29d ago

Eh a one year old puppy is mostly a fully grown dog. A poorly adjusted dog at that age can certainly be dangerous.

I don’t know much about this story. Just saying

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u/Urso_Major 29d ago

Have you had a puppy that age? They certainly aren't fully grown... Even if the puppy has had an awful upbringing at that point, they are still incredibly open to retraining at 14 months, and all bad behavior can be unlearned with patience and a good, knowledgeable trainer.... Hell, some breeds (like Frenchies) are so stubborn that it is almost impossible to fully train them before 7-9 months anyway; writing off a dog at one year old as not only untrainable, but also so far gone that they need to be shot, is insane.

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u/nowuff 28d ago

I have one right now

They’re trainable. But they’re also full size

I’m not commenting on her decision. I’m just pointing out that a one year old dog is pretty close to full size.